paycheck

[(text-style:"expand")[[[paycheck->start]]]] an "autobiography" an exploration of how inaccessiblity burns the branches of community in times of emergency and beyond *based on an imagined but realistic probability* a game by [[students->our names and links]] @ UCSC for ARTG 143 | Winter 2022 in conversation with [[climate justice]]

[[This game->title]] was made by: Catie Sullivan - filming, editing & revising eden hou - writing, performance, coding Ellen Kim - filming, writing, video editing Thea Gamez - filming & performance, art Zoey Laytart - filming, video & asset implementation We hope you enjoy your experience.

(text-colour:red)[august 15, 2058.] can't believe i found this dusty old journal again. took a peek and a hop down memory lane; fitting the last time something big happened in my life it was fire season. of course, how can we even call it a season when the world is burning year-round? well. if you're reading this, congrats, i suppose. that means the world hasn't gone to complete and utter shit yet. how's the bunker life tho? i can't imagine we're that far off from that point. anyway...i guess you'd be wondering what "big event" i'm talking about. how about you flip a few pages back, genius? ....sorry. if you can't be assed, how about you help me [[tell the story again->move-in]]? :) <img src="https://i.imgur.com/EkwrD3b.png" alt="Text bubble" style="width:250px;height:250px;">

(text-colour: red)[september 15, 2025.] <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/zXanEjhoq_o?controls=0" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay=1; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe> it's moving dayyyy. i probably should've packed earlier. what if i forgot something? that'd be frustrating, not to mention add to all the pressure student loans already hold over my head. i'm so damn tired. that's not fair for me to say since i didn't drive. but when am i *not* tired?? looking out the window has been fun since it's not just straight highway anymore. this city is built so [[weirdly->neutral start]] | [[horribly->anti start]] | [[disproportionately->wary start]]. <img src="https://i.imgur.com/BmSuUNL.png" alt="Three paths" style="width:250px;height:250px;"> ######`[`video alt text: slowed down footage from inside a car, with a sidewalk, trees, and the occasional sign and lamppost visible through the window. in the distance are tents along a riverbank, and, further beyond them, large buildings.`]`

(text-colour:#fa5252)[september 15, 2025. ] (text-colour:gray)[it's moving dayyyy. i probably should've packed earlier. what if i forgot something? that'd be so annoying. i'm so damn tired. that's not fair for me to say since i didn't drive. but when am i Not tired. looking out the window has been fun since it's not just straight highway anymore.] this city is built so weirdly. the school seems pretty isolated. i don't know if that's a good thing or not. but i guess i'll find out [[soon enough->fire drill]]. for now, i'll have to figure out where my room is and pray i dont severely embarrass myself in the process. <img src="https://i.imgur.com/EkwrD3b.png" alt="Text bubble" style="width:250px;height:250px;">

(text-colour:#fa5252)[september 15, 2025. ] (text-colour:gray)[it's moving dayyyy. i probably should've packed earlier. what if i forgot something? that'd be so annoying. i'm so damn tired. that's not fair for me to say since i didn't drive. but when am i Not tired. looking out the window has been fun since it's not just straight highway anymore.] this city is built so horribly. the school is so out of the way of everything else, which isn't all that much either. i'll have to rely on buses to go anywhere; i can't imagine that'd *possibly* cause any problems during a [[schoolwide emergency->fire drill]]. i guess i'll just keep my stresses to a minimum and try not to embarrass myself too severely moving all my stuff in! <img src="https://i.imgur.com/EkwrD3b.png" alt="Text bubble" style="width:250px;height:250px;">

(text-colour:#fa5252)[september 15, 2025.] (text-colour:gray)[it's moving dayyyy. i probably should've packed earlier. what if i forgot something? that'd be really unfortunate. i'm so damn tired. that's not fair for me to say since i didn't drive. but when am i Not tired. looking out the window has been fun since it's not just straight highway anymore.] this city is built so disproportionately. i wonder how easily accessible everything will be, especially since the school's kinda isolated and most of us won't have cars in case of an emergency. public transport is cool, but not super ideal for [[mass evacuation->fire drill]]. not to mention covid, which, oh yeah, is still a thing :/ well i'll just have to take things step by step. step 1: don't trip getting out of the car. <img src="https://i.imgur.com/EkwrD3b.png" alt="Text bubble" style="width:250px;height:250px;">

(text-colour:red)[september 27, 2025.] <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/KXr0HaC3rnk?controls=0" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe> i just unpacked and fully moved in. it's certainly weird to see all my stuff here... like i'm kinda just stuck here away from home. my roommates seem nice enough, but we're not close just yet. i heard our RA calling out the other students on our floor so we can head down for the welcome meeting. i guess we'll hear some safety and fire precaution things, since we got emails about it. i heard that the fire hazard has been worse here lately. i'm feeling kind of sleepy and i don't feel like [[sitting through a student-led lecture->own way]]...but i guess this is pretty important so i'll [[just follow my roommates->follow school]]. <img src="https://i.imgur.com/RI47DOo.png" alt="Two Paths" style="width:250px;height:250px;"> ######`[`video alt text: the clip begins focused on two cement blocks, one with a red panel labeled FIRE and the other with a blue panel labeled POLICE. both have a gray door in the middle. the rest of the footage is from the perspective of a person walking along the side of a road, passing some trees, rocks, and shrubbery and at times focusing on the sun from behind elevated ground.`]`

(text-colour: red)[october 19, 2025.] urrgh who came up with school? i'm pretty much at my classes or my desk the entire day. might as well check my social media... boring boring boring it's the same thing every ti- julie, one of my roommates, just ran in and shook their phone in my face. i had to squint at the shaking screen and barely made out the words. fi... fire... heading towards Santa Cruz? <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/z807FiFiB4A?controls=0" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay=1; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe> [[there's no way this is real...| joke real]] | [[i should check it out|fire rumor]] | [[i'm just gonna ignore it. too much rn.|roommate news]] <img src="https://i.imgur.com/BmSuUNL.png" alt="Three paths" style="width:250px;height:250px;"> ######`[`video alt text: after a few seconds focused on a burnt tree stump, the camera pans over to the right, revealing a Taiwanese individual who stands up from their crouched position. they scan the stump beside them, and the camera cuts to focus on their hand picking a loose piece of burnt bark off the stump. they crouch down again and begin drawing on a sketchbook they had been holding. when they are done, the charcoal drawing messily depicts fire dancing among some trees.`]`

pfft ...julie, you've got to be *ki*n*d*ling me!! (get it, kidding - kindling, like for a fire, aha ha ha ha...).....julie just gave me a wry smile but sam laughed -- THANK YOU SAM!!! oh cheese and crackers the [[fire alarm->ready]] is going off D: <img src="https://i.imgur.com/EkwrD3b.png" alt="Text bubble" style="width:250px;height:250px;">

(text-colour:red)[12:34 PM] it looked quite serious. it was still a bit far off from campus but it was definitely heading toward us. now that i look outside, i think the sky is starting to get darker - and not because the sun is setting. i should [[start packing->ready]] some necessities just in case...can't forget my ID...probably a few chip bags..water...clothes?...my inhaler!!...wallet's already in my bag...*oh god the alarm's going off* (set: $packed to true) (set: $food to true) <img src="https://i.imgur.com/EkwrD3b.png" alt="Text bubble" style="width:250px;height:250px;">

ugh whatever i've already a got a shit ton of work to do. an essay due this week and a quiz due tomorrow and a homework assignment due tonight. i don't have time for this! i have to gently shoo julie's phone away from my face and let them know i can't deal with this right now and of course the [[alarm->ready]] is going oFF!! <img src="https://i.imgur.com/EkwrD3b.png" alt="Text bubble" style="width:250px;height:250px;">

(set: $ownRoute to false) (set: $schoolRoute to false) (set: $packed to false) (set: $food to false) (set: $lowfunds to true) (set: $inhaler to false)

i've got about { (set: $counter to 15) |amount>[$counter] seconds to grab (live: 1s)[ (set: $counter to it - 1) (if: $counter is 0)[ (go-to: "move")) ] (replace: ?amount)[$counter] ] } (t8n:"instant")+(t8n-time:0.4s)+(link:"my student ID")[my student ID] (t8n:"instant")+(t8n-time:0.4s)+(link:"my phone")[my phone] (t8n:"instant")+(t8n-time:0.4s)+(link:"water")[water] {(t8n:"instant")+(t8n-time:0.4s)+(link:"food")[food (set: $food to true)]} (t8n:"instant")+(t8n-time:0.4s)+(link:"my inhaler")[my inhaler (set: $inhaler to true)] (t8n:"instant")+(t8n-time:0.4s)+(link:"my charger")[my charger] (t8n:"instant")+(t8n-time:0.4s)+(link:"my favorite shirt")[my favorite shirt] (t8n:"instant")+(t8n-time:0.4s)+(link:"pants")[pants] (t8n:"instant")+(t8n-time:0.4s)+(link:"student ID")[student ID] (t8n:"instant")+(t8n-time:0.4s)+(link:"a jacket")[a jacket] (t8n:"instant")+(t8n-time:0.4s)+(link:"my textbooks")[my textbooks] (t8n:"instant")+(t8n-time:0.4s)+(link:"my plushies")[my plushies] (t8n:"instant")+(t8n-time:0.4s)+(link:"pictures of my friends")[pictures of my friends] {(t8n:"instant")+(t8n-time:0.4s)+(link:"my wallet")[my wallet (set: $lowFunds to false)]} (t8n:"instant")+(t8n-time:0.4s)+(link-reveal:"my laptop")[] (t8n:"instant")+(t8n-time:0.4s)+(link-reveal:"underwear")[] (t8n:"instant")+(t8n-time:0.4s)+(link-reveal:"a hairbrush")[] (t8n:"instant")+(t8n-time:0.4s)+(link-reveal:"my retainers")[] (t8n:"instant")+(t8n-time:0.4s)+(link-reveal:"the painting i made with my friends")[] (t8n:"instant")+(t8n-time:0.4s)+(link-reveal:"jewelry")[] (t8n:"instant")+(t8n-time:0.4s)+(link-reveal:"extra masks")[] (live: 10s)[(stop:)and -(goto: "move")]

(text-colour:red)[12:41 PM] { (if: $ownRoute is true)[`alright, i have to go. it's time to pull out that pre-planned google maps route. i said bye to julie and sam earlier - they wished me luck but stuck with what the school told us to do. ... i can't be very wrong i guess, tho, cuz there's other students on these` [[buses]].] (if: $schoolRoute is true)[`that's all i've got time for. i'll just have to hope the fire people can keep it under control before it reaches us... julie and sam are pulling me with them towards the designated evacuation area. hearing sirens and seeing firetrucks and emergency vehicles roll in is overwhelming me. there's too many noises and lights - i just want to curl up and cover my ears - make it stop!!! ... i guess julie and sam got told to board a vehicle with other students, cuz we've just been shoved in the back of one of those` [[big black cop cars|van]]...] } <img src="https://i.imgur.com/Fe5IcgO.png" alt="One Path" style="width:250px;height:250px;">

(text-colour:red)[6:37 PM] glad to have made it out alive. perhaps things could have gone differently, but there's too much to pin on one person, one action, one decision. if you're out there still, that means we have [[hope]] of making things right. with the world, and with each other. <img src="https://i.imgur.com/EkwrD3b.png" alt="Text bubble" style="width:250px;height:250px;">

(text-colour:red)[5:22 PM] thanks to the community i found and the bonds i built we all made it out alive. not to say we're all a happy family or something, but there's merit in helping each other out. sad that we've gotten to this point because that's not the default. i [[hope]] that'll change by the time i'm done writing in this silly diary. <img src="https://i.imgur.com/EkwrD3b.png" alt="Text bubble" style="width:250px;height:250px;">

(text-colour:red)[12:57 PM] <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/UucO34O-SdE?controls=0" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay=1; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe> maybe there's too many people on the bus. i don't want to push and shove but there's barely any space to stand and i've got to make it work for the rapidly growing stream of people coming in. we keep stopping really erratically to let deer pass too. i wonder where they can go to be safe...their homes are already going up in flames... i can see the sky turning from gray to yellow ash through the windows from where i'm crushed in. goddamnit my stomach is grumbling.....i hope no one can hear it...i haven't eaten since breakfast... the fire looks just as [[hungry|hungrily]] as me. ######`[`video alt text: an over-the-shoulder view of a person using burnt bark to draw a deer crossing a road. the deer is walking towards a group of question marks, and away from a mass meant to be interpreted as fire. there is a car coming towards the deer, and the person has drawn a triangle with an exclamation point in it above the car.`]`

(text-colour:red)[1:03 PM] <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/UucO34O-SdE?controls=0" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay=1; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe> julie holds my left hand while sam holds my right. their nails are painted: daffodil yellow in my left and firetruck (haha) red in my right. sam's leather bracelet brushes my wrist and julie's little yakult bottle earrings sway as they look back and forth. i have to focus on these little details or i'll lose my already slipping composure!! <img src="https://i.imgur.com/QBoeJYw.png" alt="Bracelet" style="width:180px;height:180px;"> <img src="https://i.imgur.com/mnbm3t6.png" alt="Earrings" style="width:100px;height:100px;"> even through the tinted windows we can see the sky change colors from grey to yellow with sprinkles of ash. we stop every once in a while and sam tells me quietly about the deer hopping across the road in front of us. where do they have to go to be safe?? sam shrugs eir shoulders sadly. my stomach is starting to grumble...just another sound to add to the cacophony in my brain....i haven't eaten since breakfast... the fire must be spreading just as [[hungrily]] as i feel. ######`[`video alt text: an over-the-shoulder view of a person using burnt bark to draw a deer crossing a road. the deer is walking towards a group of question marks, and away from a mass meant to be interpreted as fire. there is a car coming towards the deer, and the person has drawn a triangle with an exclamation point in it above the car.`]`

(text-colour:red)[1:48 PM] { (if: $food is true)[it's a good thing i grabbed some chips and stuff but i'll need somewhere to stay. should i ask for [[help]] or just book it out of here and try to go [[home]]...?] (if: $lowFunds is true)[i don't have family close like julie and sam...or that much money...maybe i'm gonna need to find [[community resources->help]] to survive this thing. i wonder how this area is with emergency provisions for people who can't afford much.] } <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/FjEhF3wHMNM?controls=0" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe> ... we're passing the river now...i remember there were tents set up along the bank when julie, sam, and i walked to the bus stop from costco...there's probably kids our age there who [[need help]] too. tents can't be much protection from all this smoke that i can smell now...damn i better have brought my inhaler...(if: $inhaler is true)[oh, sweet it's here in my bag.] ######`[`video alt text: a clip of a slow pan left to right over a riverbank that ends at the ocean transitions into an over-the-shoulder view of a person using burnt bark to draw a river with a bridge over it. to the left of the bridge and above the river, they draw a group of triangles meant to be interpreted as tents. the tents are threatened by fire drawn above and around them. the person draws an arrow across the bridge, which leads to a bunch of question marks on the opposite side. finally they draw dollar bills flowing down the river, as a symbolic divide and hurdle that many people living by the river cannot afford to cross.`]`

there's lots of people all around trying to find shelter and relief from the smoke and ash. i hope the people by the river we passed have as much a chance for respite as i do, with what the school has to provide. i'd better be realistic though, the city probably doesn't have many protections in place for anyone without the luxury of a house. i can't exactly do all that much alone, but i might be able to offer some help online, especially once i get situated with somewhere to stay, or even a ride home... it's kind of comforting to see what we can do for [[each other|community W]], even if it's all because the world around us is burning up. <img src="https://i.imgur.com/Fe5IcgO.png" alt="One Path" style="width:250px;height:250px;">

at least there are buses that will take me to the train station. thankfully someone home picked up the phone and i'll have a simple train ride [[out of here->own end]]. i can't imagine how it'd be if i didn't have the means to find a way out on my own....or even someplace to flee to. <img src="https://i.imgur.com/Fe5IcgO.png" alt="One Path" style="width:250px;height:250px;">

(text-colour:red)[august 15, 2058.] <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/TGEoUq71FHg?controls=0" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay=1; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe> ...so that's it i guess. what a cute little sentiment for college me to end that whole mess on. was i right? have things changed? i guess all i can do is play my part and keep that hope strong. [[one day, if we all work together for it, we'll get the hang of living on this planet we've damaged.|thanks]] ######[`[video alt text: a short Taiwanese person flips through some charcoal drawings of previous events from this story that they drew in a sketchbook. they close the book and get off the rock they were sitting on in a circle of trees. the camera follows their movements as they put away the sketchbook, return two pieces of charred bark to the top of a large, blackened tree stump, and walk out of the clearing. the camera focuses on a few fresh green sprouts growing from the stump, and the clip ends.]`]

Many ideas and themes in this game are informed by excerpts from *All We Can Save* (Johnson, Ayana Elizabeth and Katherine K. Wilkinson, editors, 2020) and *Arts of Living on a Damaged Planet* (Gan, Elaine, et al., editors, 2017). This game also draws inspiration from *Redshift and Portalmetal* by micha cardenas, and the intimacy of Macarena Gómez-Barris's letter, *An Earth Being Platform*. It seeks to begin hacking at the questions asked in this letter: (text-colour:#f76707)["How the fuck do we move forward? How to feel our solidarity with you *(Earth)*? How do we stand with each other on your behalf?"] Thank you to these artists and authors for the concepts you introduced in your works. [[<img src="https://i.imgur.com/TkIxROM.png" alt="Back arrow" style="width:150px;height:150px;">->title]]

i know i should do something. we shouldn't leave anyone behind, especially in a crisis like this. maybe there won't be official city resources for people with less financial privilege...but the internet is the great stronghold of communication, and at times like these - mutual aid. even if i can't do much alone, i hope i can just [[be someone to talk to]]. <img src="https://i.imgur.com/Fe5IcgO.png" alt="One Path" style="width:250px;height:250px;">

Thank you for playing, experiencing, hypothetically reminiscing, and hoping for a better future with us. As Xiye Bastida reminds us while writing "Calling In" for *All We Can Save* (Johnson, Ayana Elizabeth and Katherine K. Wilkinson, editors, 2020): (text-colour:#f76707)["Climate change doesn't discriminate, but the ability to respond to climate disasters does...fully recovering from these increasingly unnatural disasters is very difficult, almost impossible, for communities of color, Indigenous reservations, small rural towns, and traditional fishing communities..."] and many more parties wronged by the way predominantly Western, white, patriarchal, capitalistic, colonial society has been designed. In this world, the financially disadvantaged have quiickly found themselves on this list as well. Please take care of yourselves, and others where you are able. Supporting each other doesn't have to be capitalistic or financial; being a source of genuine connection and community for someone can be more impactful than you may think. Check out our other wonderful sources and inspirations [[here|climate justice]], and our game's [[Chapters]] if you'd like to see how a different choice would have played out. Be well and do good. Thank you. [[<img src="https://i.imgur.com/gDkgkiJ.png" alt="Fire" style="width:250px;height:250px;">|title]] (set: $ownRoute to false) (set: $schoolRoute to false) (set: $packed to false) (set: $food to false) (set: $lowfunds to true) (set: $inhaler to false)

Welcome back, player. Thank you for your interest in our story. Where would you like to begin again? * [[Title page|title]] * [[First Entry|start]] * [[City Structure Decision|move-in]] * [[RA Meeting|fire drill]] The rest of the story is dependent on variables from these passages forward. <img src="https://i.imgur.com/Fe5IcgO.png" alt="One Path" style="width:250px;height:250px;"> <img src="https://i.imgur.com/RI47DOo.png" alt="Two Paths" style="width:250px;height:250px;"> <img src="https://i.imgur.com/BmSuUNL.png" alt="Three paths" style="width:250px;height:250px;">

i'll check out twitter or something...there's probably someone asking for help or just hoping for a friend during these hard times.... i usually don't do stuff like this. i think, if i were someone who really needed it, i would appreciate someone to reach out to me too. so here goes nothin. ... i've messaged someone who tweeted about the ash piling up by the river :( `*` mary - she/her - @47berrycurls `*` i'll keep messaging her on twitter but maybe when it's safe i'll actually get to meet her!! scary...but exciting! i hope we can be [[good friends|community W]]. <img src="https://i.imgur.com/1DTx6TX.png" alt="Phone" style="width:120px;height:120px;">