Breaking Point I: It's Always Been There

//''You Reach a Breaking Point''// <style> img { max-width: 100%; max-height: 100%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/tCG9Jb7C/Main-mug-iris-centered.png </div> [[I can't take this anymore]]

//''What will you do about it then?''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/7PFZz7t4/Main-mug-iris-right-eye-somewhat-closed.png </div> [[There's nothing I CAN do, I'm trapped.]] [[I'm putting my foot down. Now.]] [[What are my options? I'm too scared to try anything...]] [[I won't do anything. I'll get through this.]]

//''Ah, isolation is tough to overcome. He does know what he's doing. He's crossed too many lines already, hasn't he. ''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/7hq5jm4M/Main-mug-normal-eye.png </div> [[Yes. I don't want to get into it...]]

//''There is a chance of that, yes. If they don't believe you, then you may be better off without them. However, if you take the chance and at least one is willing to help, won't that make it easier to bear?''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/BQy74Tgr/Main-Mug-iris-right-two-mugs.png </div> [[I can't take that risk.]] [[I don't have the strength to do it on my own, I need someone else. I'll try.]]

//''Why do you think so? You may think yourself to be alone, but others stand beside you.''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/7PFZz7t4/Main-mug-iris-right-eye-somewhat-closed.png </div> [[I've been stuck here so long, I forgot what it's like outside.]] [[Those people, they wouldn't take my side if they knew what's going on, I know it]] [[I'm too scared to try anything, they can only help so much...]]

//''Come, take a walk with me.''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/7hq5jm4M/Main-mug-normal-eye.png </div> [[Where are we going?]]

//''You're right, they can only help so much. But you have the strength enough to make up for it. And you have us too.''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/MZtHv0xN/Main-Mug-normal-1-mug.png </div> [[And maybe that's all I need to try. ->I'm putting my foot down. Now.]] [[We're completely outnumbered! It isn't worth it, I can't handle this right now, I'm just going to put up with it for now, I'll fix things when I have the time and space to. ->I won't do anything. I'll get through this.]]

Then he'll chase after you, chase you down. You'll still have to confront him, and he'll still retalliate. What will you do when he comes? <style> img { max-width: 100%; max-height: 100%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/G36vpqWx/Main-Mug-iris-right-hooks.png </div> [[Can't I just run away from this? I don't have it in me to face him. ->I'll run away.]] [[I'll find some way to rid him from my life. ->I'll get rid of him]] [[When he finds me, I'll dispose of him. ->I'll end him.]]

//''That's alright, you don't have to. You've been through too much already. Walk with me?''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/7hq5jm4M/Main-mug-normal-eye.png </div> [[Where are we going?]]

//''So you'll do it yourself.''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/G36vpqWx/Main-Mug-iris-right-hooks.png </div> [[I'll have to. I'll have to be strong enough. I have to do something. ->I'm putting my foot down. Now.]] [[No...I...I'm not going to do anything. Again. ->I won't do anything. I'll get through this.]]

//''You need to start by telling someone first, perhaps your friends. ''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/SsSqh5Xs/Main-Mug-normal-2-mugs.png </div> [[I know I'll have their support already. It's my family I'm worried about. He's been living with them while I'm away at school. What if they don't believe me? ->I'll expose him for what he really is.]]

//''What will it take for you to finally act? You've gone through unspeakable things that will follow you for life, even if you get out now. You're just going to sit down and take it? I've known you so for long, you're stronger than that.''// <style> img { max-width: 100%; max-height: 100%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/tCG9Jb7C/Main-mug-iris-centered.png </div> [[Am I? I've been complacent for so long. It's who I am. I let all this happen. It's my fault.]]

//''Out, just for a bit. For some fresh air. To clear your head. You need some time away. I'll make sure we don't run into him.''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/7hq5jm4M/Main-mug-normal-eye.png </div> [[Yeah...you're right, I do.]]

//''That feels better, doesn't it? Why don't we focus on something else for a minute before we get back to the matter at hand?''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/7hq5jm4M/Main-mug-normal-eye.png </div> [[I like that idea...]] [[I won't be able to get my mind off this, it's too much. Help me make sense of my thoughts, please.]]

(text-colour:#A63046)[//''Let us help.''//] <style> img { max-width: 100%; max-height: 100%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/5tghmHBn/single-hook-close.png </div>

And only postpone the inevitable. He'll catch you. If not today, then tomorrow, or next month, two years from now. Then he'll do that to you again. Living on the run, haunted by a tumor you can't cut out. Is this the life you want? <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/T1tfPXL1/Left-Mug.png </div> [[No. It isn't]]

//''He has quite the web of lies and a mask to hide behind. They might all believe you. Or they might believe him.''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/SsSqh5Xs/Main-Mug-normal-2-mugs.png </div> [[I have to try anyway, it's the only way.]] [[If they believe him, I don't need them anymore either.]] [[That's why I've been stuck for so long. What do you do about a narcissist who has decieved everyone in your life?]]

//''I believe in you. Come, walk with me some more, down a brighter path. Let's clear your head and decide on what we need to tell them, and how. We'll get you out of this, I promise. It may take a little time, but that's only so things won't get worse in the interrim. If they don't listen, your friends have been more of a family to you and they will fully become it. If they do listen, they'll get rid of him. It'll be okay, just hold on.''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/15YVWkCy/Two-mugs.png </div> [[Thank you]]

//''Your family is what you make of it, you built a strong family where you are, away from home. They will take care of you, you can trust in that. ''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/nrSrPm13/Two-mugs-all-hooks.png </div> [[And I'll live with them if I can't get rid of him, they'd let me in without a doubt. They'll keep me safe, safer than I am right now.]]

You give everyone an opportunity to come to their senses. If they don't take it, that's out of your control, and is no reflection of you. It doesn't make them bad people either, you were once fooled by him too, he's very skilled at what he does. <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/nrSrPm13/Two-mugs-all-hooks.png </div> [[But how didn't I see through it sooner? He violated every single boundary of mine, called it making compromises. And I went along with it?]]

//''There are better options, many of them.''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/RVqzTyJ1/Left-Mug-2-hooks.png </div> [[I-I didn't want to resort to them...but I guess I don't have a choice, do I? ->More extreme measures...there are other options.]]

//''Plane tickets are expensive, especially right before Christmas. Would he even go? He's obsessed with you.''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/MZtHv0xN/Main-Mug-normal-1-mug.png </div> [[I'd have to force him. Or WE would. My family could kick him out, if they listened to me and believed me. ->I'll expose him for what he really is.]]

//''Come on. If that was so simple, you'd have already done it. He lives in your house, is best friends with your sister. Your family sees him as their own. He's obsessed with you, and with getting what he wants from you. The convention of dating won't save you.''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/QMz6hYdD/Right-Mug.png </div> [[I know...but he'll retalliate and try to hurt me no matter what I try...If I stand up for myself, he'll shut me down. If I break up with him, he'll ignore it. He'll convince my family something's wrong with me.]]

//''You're right, and knowing that is the first step. We'll have to take more extreme measures. We could get rid of him, out what's really happening before he can say otherwise. End him. It's up to you.''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/tgn3tq90/Right-Mug-2-hooks.png </div> [[More extreme measures...there are other options.]]

//''And those are?''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/28gg76Dm/Left-Mug-all-hooks.png </div> [[Sending him back to the hell-down-under from which he came.]] [[I'll end him. Myself. ->I'll end him.]] [[I'll expose him for what he really is.]] [[I won't do anything. I'll get through this.]]

//''It's never too late to start. It is never someone's fault when they are put in this position. He knew what he was doing, knew how to corner you into getting what he wanted. Your blindness to it is no fault of your own, rose-colored-shades are dangerous, but hard to take off if you don't know how to.''// <style> img { max-width: 100%; max-height: 100%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/QM8gcVx8/Main-Mug-iris-centered-hooks.png </div> [[He loves me.]]

//''Someone who loves you would never do something like that. Love is selfless, gentle, and caring. Don't you see?''// <style> img { max-width: 100%; max-height: 100%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/7PFZz7t4/Main-mug-iris-right-eye-somewhat-closed.png </div> [[I can't admit it...but you're right...I've known for a long time already. But what can I do? You even said so, I'm stuck in a corner.]] [[No! He loves me! You're wrong!]]

//''A corner, yes. Blocked on three sides by what you can't change, on two by a threat, and on one an option you shouldn't take. You have to face the threat.''// <style> img { max-width: 100%; max-height: 100%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/BQy74Tgr/Main-Mug-iris-right-two-mugs.png </div> [[I won't.]] [[I need more time to think. ->What are my options? I'm too scared to try anything...]] [[I'll face it then. ->I'm putting my foot down. Now.]]

//''I'm you, I can't be wrong. You know it. You've been in denial, can't be blamed for it. Nine months of abuse will twist your perspecive until you don't even know right from wrong anymore. But trust me on this.''// <style> img { max-width: 100%; max-height: 100%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/BQy74Tgr/Main-Mug-iris-right-two-mugs.png </div> [[I-I know. I'm so lost. Please help me. ->I can't admit it...but you're right...I've known for a long time already. But what can I do? You even said so, I'm stuck in a corner.]]

//''If you won't do that, then you're right. You're stuck. You have one option. You know it, but I know you, and you don't want it.''// <style> img { max-width: 100%; max-height: 100%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/T1tfPXL1/Left-Mug.png </div> [[I'll end myself then.]]

//''And only postpone the inevitable. He'll catch you. If not today, then tomorrow, or next month, two years from now. Then he'll do that to you again. Living on the run, haunted by a tumor you can't remove. Is this the life you want?''// <style> img { max-width: 100%; max-height: 100%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/T1tfPXL1/Left-Mug.png </div> [[No, I couldn't live with that either, I'd just end up facing down my end again.]]

//''It takes a lot of strength to step back from the ledge and keep going, I'm proud of you. I can't tell you what to do, I can only steer you in the right direction, what is it you'd like to try now?''// <style> img { max-width: 100%; max-height: 100%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/6pk2KdxS/Two-mugs-closer.png </div> [[I still need more time to think, this is all too much. ->What are my options? I'm too scared to try anything...]] [[I'll face it then, it's the only other way. ->I'm putting my foot down. Now.]] [[There still isn't anything I can do, I'm still trapped. ->There's nothing I CAN do, I'm trapped.]]

(text-colour:#526971)[//''No, I'm sorry. I wish I could have done more for you. We'll meet in another time, and we'll try again. And I'll save myself next time, I promise it won't end like this.''//] <style> img { max-width: 100%; max-height: 100%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/HLrNbSLs/hook-small.png </div> [[I agree, it won't end like this. We'll try again another time.]]

(text-colour:white)[''[[This is my story, and it didn't go this way. So it can't end like this for you either. I kept going, and I want you to as well. It gets better, I promise. You just have to keep trying. Another breaking point will come, and you'll face it, stronger than the last time. ->You reach a breaking point.]]'']

(text-colour:#868860)[//''No, thank you. This is your strength. Soon we'll start healing.''//] <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/6pk2KdxS/Two-mugs-closer.png </div>

//''Exactly. You're stronger together. I believe in you. Come, walk with me. Let's clear your head and decide on what we need to tell them, and how. We'll get you out of this, I promise. It may take a little bit of time, but that's only so things won't get worse in the interrim. It'll be okay, just hold on.''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/15YVWkCy/Two-mugs.png </div> [[Thank you]]

//''It is never someone's fault when they are put in this position. He knew what he was doing, knew how to corner you into getting what he wanted. Your blindness to it is no fault of your own. Rose-colored-shades are dangerous, nearly impossible to take off if you don't know how to. Now that you know, you can act.''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/SsSqh5Xs/Main-Mug-normal-2-mugs.png </div> [[What do I do about all these scars? People will look at me, know what he did. Know I was a victim, blame me. I'll carry this baggage with me for the rest of my life. I won't ever be able to trust love again, this isn't even the first time I've been in a relationship like this!]]

//''You forgive yourself. Doing nothing would still be worse than the loveless future you fear. You don't need someone else to complete you, and he's actively destroying you. It sounds like you need more time to think. Come, walk with me.''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/SsSqh5Xs/Main-Mug-normal-2-mugs.png </div> [[Anything's better than this, maybe you're right. Where are we going? ->Where are we going?]]

//''Nothing is. His kind knows how to make you think that. Love doesn't lash out, force you into circumstances against your will, or ignore your boundaries. You'll look back on this someday, from the other side, and know it wasn't love, it was fear.''// <style> img { max-width: 100%; max-height: 100%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/G36vpqWx/Main-Mug-iris-right-hooks.png </div> [[I'm afraid...you're right. I can't take a violent solution though.]]

//''So you'll spend your time dodging bullets. Where does this get you in the end? Less bruises, but he lives with you, has control over too much of your life still. This isn't a solution.''// <style> img { max-width: 100%; max-height: 100%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/tCG9Jb7C/Main-mug-iris-centered.png </div> [[Do you want me to be more extreme?]] [[I can't hit him back, then I'll be no better than he is.]]

What does this accomplish, aside from creating another viscious cycle for you to live in? We need an escape, not to make the situation worse, you can't live like that. <style> img { max-width: 100%; max-height: 100%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/QM8gcVx8/Main-Mug-iris-centered-hooks.png </div> [[That's fair, I can't think very far ahead right now, there's too much going on.]] [[I could end him? ->I'll end him.]] [[I have to get rid of him, one way or another, that's the only way I can escape. ->I'll get rid of him]]

//''You could do that, yes, if you so wish.''// <style> img { max-width: 100%; max-height: 100%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/9Qp866Df/Main-Mug-iris-centered-hook-in-front-of-eye.png </div> [[What if I hit back harder? ->If he hits me, I'll hit back harder.]] [[What if I just got rid of him instead? ->I'll get rid of him]] [[I could end him. ->I'll end him.]]

//''I'm not saying you need to do that, and even if you did, that doesn't sink you to his level. You've been pushed to an edge and are left with options that will save you. They aren't all pretty though. You can choose a non-violent way out if you wish.''// <style> img { max-width: 100%; max-height: 100%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/7PFZz7t4/Main-mug-iris-right-eye-somewhat-closed.png </div> [[I can get him out of my house, send him back to where he came from. ->Sending him back to the hell-down-under from which he came.]] [[I'll break up with him?]]

//''There are many non-violent options for you. ''// <style> img { max-width: 100%; max-height: 100%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/BQy74Tgr/Main-Mug-iris-right-two-mugs.png </div> [[I can get him out of my house, send him back to where he came from. ->Sending him back to the hell-down-under from which he came.]] [[I'll break up with him?]]

//''You need more time to think. Come, walk with me.''// <style> img { max-width: 100%; max-height: 100%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/G36vpqWx/Main-Mug-iris-right-hooks.png </div> [[I...I think so. I don't know what came over me. ->Where are we going?]]

//''Understandably, you've put up with too much, fo too long to. Come, walk with me. You need some time to think.''// [[Where are we going?]]

//''Good, there's so much beauty around us out here. The resilliency, uniqueness, and adaptabillity of nature are marvels. Even the smallest thing can be fallen in love with, for their form, function, aesthetic, or meaning. There are many kinds of love, and learning to love a part of the world can provide a powerful support. We can learn a lot from it, don't you think so?''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/D01t4P4D/Main-mug-spore-normal-eye.png </div> [[I thought you said we were changing the subject?]] [[You're right, on my hike earlier, while I was lagging behind in hopes they'd leave me, I found something. Something to believe in.]]

That's understandable, it can be all consuming. <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/7PFZz7t4/Main-mug-iris-right-eye-somewhat-closed.png </div> [[It is. There's time for beauty and nature after. ->There is. We should probably figure out what I should do from here, I can't go on like this anymore.]]

//''We are, you're the one reading into it.''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/7PFZz7t4/Main-mug-iris-right-eye-somewhat-closed.png </div> [[I guess so, maybe I'm just being difficult. ->You're right, on my hike earlier, while I was lagging behind in hopes they'd leave me, I found something. Something to believe in.]]

//''Why don't you tell me about what you found?''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/K83s1NX5/Eye-Spore-brown.png </div> [[There were so many of them, small, mostly brown, but some colorful. Reaching through the cracks of the hillsides and the trail, despite the steep slope and gravel. Always in groups, leaning on eachother. Despite seeing them, there's no way to know what they are at first glance, you have to spend a long time with them, so I did.]]

//''Do you know what they are now?''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/NGyNJDFv/2-spores.png </div> [[Not fully, but I'm starting to. I should spend some more time with them.]]

//''You should. So you'll have to keep going, to take care of yourself and find a way out so you can meet those little things again.''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/HkSXCGvZ/3-spores.png </div> [[Yes, I'd like to see them again. To draw them, study them, figure out what part of myself is held within them.]]

//''Then we'll get you through this, so you can experience the beauty that is still out there, despite whatever hell you've been going through. There's a light at the end.''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/D01t4P4D/Main-mug-spore-normal-eye.png </div> [[There is. We should probably figure out what I should do from here, I can't go on like this anymore.]]

//''Yes. A good starting place might be going over what has happened. It might be hard, but you need to recount some of it to determine what's appropriate.''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/fRRxVW6j/Main-mug-spore-hooks.png </div> [[Oh god that's hard...]] [[I-I'm not ready for that yet]]

//''I'm proud of you, that's a lot to get off your chest. Telling someone is always hard, even if you know they'll understand. We'll do something about this, the first step is telling someone else, especially now that you have some practice.''// <style> img { max-width: 70%; max-height: 70%; } </style> <img src=https://i.postimg.cc/15YVWkCy/Two-mugs.png </div> [[You're right. I won't get out of this alone, I have to reach out, even if some people won't listen. I have to talk to my family and be prepared for any outcome. ->I'll expose him for what he really is.]]