“[[This will awaken old memories,]] [[the uncomfortable thought occurs to him]]…[[don’t be silly he scolds himself]]…[[he’s going to initiate this boy the way he was initiated a long time ago]]. [[He reminds himself yet again, that was quite different. He should be grateful to his uncle for having helped him]]…[[Crude, he thinks.]] [[His tears fall easily...he begins to feel confused…isn’t he happy? Or could he be sad?]] [[Fool, what are you doing…]] [[some inexplicable hesitation causes him to pull away from that temptation…]] [[his gut churns…what are you doing?]] [[A voice echoes in his head? Or could it be from outside of him?]]"([[Lydia Kwa]], 226-228). [[Claim]] -1959-Present -Born in Singapore -Has lived in Canada since 1980 -Writer and psychologist -[[Has published eight books]] -Nominated for the Lambda Literary Award for Lesbian Fiction http://plenitudemagazine.ca/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/lydia-kwa.jpg-trigger -bring aliveThis one word clues the reader into the fact that a similar event has occurred in the past"This will [[awaken]] [[old]] memories"This memory is still painful and uncomfortable for himThis demonstrates that there is a battle of emotions going on Yizhi. Part of him know this isn’t right, but the other part has been too psychologically ingrained to change.Confirms the fact that he has learned this behavior through sexual assault as a young boy. He reminds himself [[yet again]], that was quite different. [[He should be grateful to his uncle for having helped him]]“Crude” referring to Baoshi’s jade pendant illuminates Yizhi trying to continue his aloof, wealthy façade, yet shortly after he breaks down into tears[[isn't he happy?]] [[Or could he be sad?]]Yizhi continues to question himself. In its context he’s asking himself why he’s reflecting on his childhood, but by itself it could also be asking why he’s assaulting Baoshi. (to kiss Baoshi) this could be due to multiple things. Perhaps the presence of the [[demon souls?]] Or the fact that he continued to feel deep down that [[this was wrong]]? [[Or perhaps his abuser never kissed him]]?Evidently he’s anxious about what he’s doing[[A voice echoes in his head?]] [[Or could it be from outside of him?]]This illustrates to the reader that Yizhi is haunted by his past trauma.One may wonder if he is uttering the same words his abuser (evidently his uncle) said to him.He felt something strange in the environment so he stopped what he was doing. This is plausible because they do stop him later when he is about to rape Baoshi.It is possible that part of him knows that his abuser deeply hurt him and if he continues this act he will cause that same pain to Baoshi. Or the fact that kissing this unconscious boy brings to the light for Yizhi how wrong this is.He may stop because he realizes that kissing is not involved in sexual assault (at least it wasn't in his)Yizhi thinks he should be happy because now he has the [[power]]Clearly Yizhi is asking himself, but it feels like a question posed to the audience as well due to its structure as a telegraphic sentence. Furthermore, the implication here is that he is sad.The reason sexual assault occursThe author makes it clear that Yizhi isn’t sure where it came from demonstrating that this is also somewhat of an internal thought as well. He is continuing to question what he is doing.This voice came from the demon souls-[[The Walking Boy]] -Sinuous -This Place Called Absence -The Colors of Heroines -Pulse -Ed Pien: Imaginings -No Margins -Transgressive Transcripts-Where this passage comes from -Historical queer fiction This passage demonstrates that Yizhi was sexually assaulted and abused as a child, and tragically this is how he has learned to gain love, attention, and power. It’s a startlingly real passage that allows the reader to gain insight into the mind of the abused becoming the abuser. I have looked at how through word choice, tone, and the organization Kwa illustrates the war that is occurring in Yizhi's mind. Although, this is only a small passage in the The Walking Boy it is a hauntingly complex one.