I got a terrible stomach flu and asked my PM if I could go home early. It was 8 PM. <<insert "I had been there 12 hours.">>\n\n"Sure, but you still have to finish the economy design tonight."\n\n<<insert "Sure thing.">>\n\nI didn't even have a bed yet, so I stumbled home to my air mattress and set an alarm. I would work for two hours, occasionally vomiting into a bucket, and then sleep for one hour. \n\n<<continue "Wake up, throw up, repeat.">>\n\nI emailed the finished, balanced excel document at 8 AM and fell asleep.\n\n[[I got an email saying we didn't need the document for another two weeks.|m3]]\n\n<<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>>

This was the same job where the PM once put his hand over my mouth during a conference call.\n\n<<insert "It was salty and unpleasant.">>\n\nI had to stop a male coworker from punching the PM in the face. My coworker was seething, furious.\n\n"I'll do it. [[I don't NEED this fuckin' job.|m4]]"\n\nI didn't say anything to the PM. \n\n(I did actually need the job.)\n\n<<endinsert>>

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At my first job in the industry, I was so excited when a senior designer asked for my feedback on a prototype he was working on. It was a fast-paced Facebook game based on the rules of Poker.\n\nIt wasn't fun. I gave him my feedback. <<insert "Politely.">>\n\n"Oh, you're not the target audience. This is for women in their <<insert "thirties.">>"\n\n"I //am// a woman. And I'm <<continue "thirty.">>thirty."\n\n"Yeeeeah, but you're a dev though so you don't count. Your brain is different. You're not a //normal// woman."\n\n[[I avoided him after that.|m2]]\n\n<<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>>

I'm sitting in an exit interview. The HR representative smiles at me.\n\n"This was really a surprise, so I just want to make sure - this doesn't have anything to do with the unpleasantness last month?"\n\n<<continue "It's the only time I've ever laughed in an exit interview.">>\n\n"Yeah, it's because of the unpleasantness. How many people reported him for sexual harassment? And you did nothing."\n\n[["You know who I am. I can't stay after that."|m7]]

8 Vignettes From The Tech Industry

We eventually hired a contract writer to rewrite the entire story for the game I was designing features for. We had an eight-hour story meeting, just him, my producer, and me.\n\n<<continue "My producer left for a bathroom break two hours in.">>\n\n"Wild how she just left you alone with a stranger," he joked, moments after my producer left the room. "I could like, rape you right now."\n\nI cleared my throat.\n\n[[..."Let's get back to the game."|m5]]

''"Women on average show [[a higher interest in people|p4]] and men in things."''

I'm at GDC for the first time since I took a job in Denmark - one of the top five countries for gender equality in the world, according to the World Economic Forum.\n\n<<insert "My female friends keep asking what's it like.">>\n\n"I... don't know," I answer honestly. "It's different."\n\n<<insert "They want to know HOW it's different.">>\n\nI search my mind for the tiny microaggressions I know I faced every day of my career until November 1st, 2016, and can't think of one off the top of my head.\n\n<<insert "I feel like I'm explaining the color yellow to someone who's been totally blind their whole life.">>\n\n"The CEO of the company called me assertive and meant it as a compliment. My constructive feedback in my annual review was that I need to remember that people take what I say really seriously, because I'm just not... used to that. I get to be flawed. I get to be confident."\n\n[[I don't notice until later, but there are tears on my face.|end]]\n\n<<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>>

''"We always ask why we don’t see women in top leadership positions, but we never ask why we see so many men in these jobs. These positions often require [[long, stressful hours|p2]] that may not be worth it if you want a balanced and fulfilling life.\n\nStatus is the primary metric that men are judged on, pushing many men into these higher paying, less satisfying jobs for the status that they entail."''

''"Women on average are more [[cooperative."|p6]]''

A couple of days ago, an engineer at Google posted a [[manifesto|m1]] for internal discussion.\n\nIt went viral.\n\nHe has since been fired.\n\n

''"Feminism has made great progress in freeing women from the female gender role, but men are still very much tied to the male gender role. If we, as a society, [[allow men to be more “feminine,”|p7]] then the gender gap will shrink, although probably because men will leave tech and leadership for traditionally feminine roles."''

''"Once we acknowledge that not all differences are socially constructed or due to discrimination, we open our eyes to a more accurate view of the human condition which is necessary if we actually [[want to solve problems."|p1]]''

''"Women, on average, have more:\n\nNeuroticism (higher anxiety, [[lower stress tolerance|p3]]).This may contribute to the higher levels of anxiety women report on Googlegeist and to the lower number of women in high stress jobs."''

Elizabeth Sampat

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Support women in technology by donating to either of the following orgs:\n\n[[The Anita Borg Institute|https://anitaborg.org/donate/]]\n\n[[Black Girls Code|http://www.blackgirlscode.com/donations.html]]\n\n

''"Speaking up without the fear of being harshly judged is central to [[psychological safety.|p8]]"''

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My boss has been out of the office for over a month, for emotional reasons. I'm proud of my company for supporting him.\n\n<<insert "I've been doing his job for the last month.">> And for a little while before that.\n\n<<insert "But he's coming back now.">>\n\nI'm in a meeting with my boss' boss.\n\n"We don't know how emotionally stable he's going to be when he comes back, so I still want you to take care of everything. But... make sure he //feels// like he's doing it."\n\n<<insert "I blink.">>\n\n"So... lead the team, but make him //feel// like he's leading the team?"\n\n"Exactly. We don't want to hurt him. [[He's too fragile."|m8]]\n\n<<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>><<endinsert>>