The Diary of Tiffany ThunderChicken

You wake up and decide you are hungry. [[go to mc donalds]] [[go to kfc]] [[go to pizza hut]]

you walk into mc donalds and after eating your food you decide it is not upto your standards so you burst out into a extreme rage [[kill every staff member in the mc donalds with a rusty spoon]] [[kill the manager in the deep fat fryer]] [[blow up the etire building whilst wearing a heath ledger joker outfit]]

you go to kfc and order two big boxes of chicken but get provoked by 2 men withbutterfly knifes and a pit bull [[beat them to death with chicken]] [[stab their eyes out with chicken bones]] [[kill the dog]]

you go to pizza hut but find out that the pizza is really made of horse meet and rabbit droppings [[become a mercenary and kill every pizza hut staff member in the world]] [[kill everybody in the building and use their boides as parts for pizzas that you will sell in town centre for £5 per pizza]] [[kill yourself infront of a family consisting of two adults and five children all under the age of ten]]

after killing them with the chicken you... [[eat the chicken]] [[use it for sexual stimulation]] [[eat a giraffe covered in ketchup and bbq sauce]]

after taking their eyes you deicde to take up a hobby [[become a pro killer but only kill men between the ages of fourty ad fourty five years of age that have beards over 12 inches long and dont bath]] [[slit your wrists and burn your body in acid]] [[take a stranger into a dark room and ask him to do anything he wants to you]]

after killing the dog you walk to medowhall [[go to primark and blow up the store]] [[ go to jd sports and eat all of the shoes]] [[do a flip of a car park and fall to your death but survive]]

after doing this you get hungry, so you. [[eat a yogourt with the rusty spoon you murdered the staff with]] [[steal all of the muffins and have intercourse with them]] [[buy a poodle and kill it with the same rusty spooon you used to kill the staff with]]

after doing this you... [[go on a murder spree and kill a total of seventy three people including civilians and law inforcment with a stuffed rabbit]] [[shoot yourself]] [[play space invaders with your dead girlfriends body after going to the cinemas to see IT]]

after finishing this task you think 'that was fun' but then realise you have one more task which is to kidnap donald trump but instead of doing so you think of a few more ideas that are much more fun [[kill his family and then adance around their dead bodies]] [[send him a sex tape between his wife and a clown and then kill him, the clown and his wife]] [[defecate on his face whilst he sleeps and slit his throught when he wakes up and goes to the bathroom to wash it off]]

you succeed in killing everybody in the building and after this you realise you have no purpose in life so you decide of three things to do which are. [[smoke weed with elmo]] [[hunt down and kill a unicorn and after doing so you take its liver and sell it for 10 million on the black market]] [[kill yourself and go straight to hell and then get into a gay relationship with the devil]]

after killing yourself you realise you failed which means you not only suck and living but you also suck at dying. whilst having this moment of realisation you get a gun pulled on you by the main chef after realising he survived. [[kill him with a serving plate]] [[burn his face of with a hot pizza tray from the over]] [[find out where he lives and kill his family in front of him and then kill him ten minute after]]

[[drink bleach]]

Double-click this passage to edit it.

[[drink bleach]]