Swallowed by the Subway

It smells bad here Like rot and dust and mold And then It's rushing by The subway car Full of people on their commutes People who have somewhere to be [[You don't have anywhere to be]]

As you hear the screech of another train in the distance last night plays out in your head You went out on the town You were excited A friend of a friend of a friend told you to meet them at this bar On the way there you walked confidently You listened to music that made you feel alive and young But then you got to the bar And it was just too loud You wanted to leave But your friend of a friend of a friend wanted to introduce you to their friends Sometimes you think you don't want to know anyone's names [[They never remember yours]]

As you feel the urine gush from you and onto the ground you hear something "HEY" The voice is so so human But there isn't another soul in sight [[You look down]]

A full bladder in tow and you are ready to keep running You step forward but feel a little something wriggling between your shoe and the ground "HEY" The voice is so so human But there isn't another soul in sight And with that the contents of your bladder come rushing down your legs [[You look down]]

You have never had to pee so badly in your life This feeling snuck up on you But now it's vibrating inside your bladder [[Just unbutton your pants and piss]] [[Hold it, you haven't hit rock bottom yet]]

It's a rat A rat is talking to you One of those massive horrifying New York City rats [[You scream]] [[You say hello]] [[You try to kill it]] [[You apologize]]

"That's very rude" the rat chastises You have no idea what to say The rat shakes and tries to dry themself off This rat is talking to you it is actually talking to you "What are you doing down here, rude person?" [["I don't know"]] [["None of your business"]] [["Why can you talk?"]]

The rat shakes and tries to dry themself off "Thanks for the shower!" "No problem" you say back The rat is actually talking You are actually talking to a rat Didn't think things could get weirder The rat takes a long look at you "What are you doing here?" the rat asks [["I don't know"]] [["None of your business"]] [["Why can you talk?"]]

The rat smiles at you "Rough night huh?" You nod gently But the rat can sense your embarrassment "Want some help getting out of here?" How is this rat going to help you? Well there's one way to find out! [["Sure"]]

"Alright then" You fall silent But the rat It's like they can see through you See straight into the parts of you that are scared and confused The rat opens their mouth and gently asks you a question "Can I help you get out of here?" How is this rat going to help you? Well there's one way to find out! [["Sure"]]

"Just try to have an open mind" says the rat Okay that is not a good start [["It's open!"]] [["Why would I need to do that?"]] [["No I like it to stay closed"]]

You might be losing it but this is all too much You can do this yourself You don't need this weird rat's "help" The next train blows by and the rat looks at you one last time Their eyes are full of something you really can't place Maybe it's disappointment Or fear But you can't be sure And then they disappear And you are alone [[So alone]]

"It's going to be hard to get you out of here when you're like this, like human sized" You're not sure you like where this going "What do you say to being a rat for a day? I can change you back when we get out" [["Okay, sure"]] [["Um...I...I'm not sure"]]

And you know you said you were okay with this but maybe you aren't This is a fucking crazy thing to agree to But maybe you have to do it You've always wanted to be the kind of person that says yes to things "I've done this before. You'll be back in no time" the rat reassures you You take a deep breath [[You feel yourself start to shrink]]

And then you're following the rat down the tracks Maybe you need to stop calling them the rat because now you're a rat too No you hate that idea You have to keep calling them the rat You should probably learn something about them Considering they just took away your human body [["What's your name?"]] [["So is this like...um...Do you come here often?"]]

As you step out from behind the bars you feel your body collide with hard metal You feel yourself flying through the air For a brief moment you almost enjoy the sensation Until you feel your body slam hard and fast against something Then it's over You've been swallowed whole by the subway If only you could go back and [[Run in 10 seconds]]

As you wait you see a train barreling down through the tunnel You count to yourself Counting always seemed to help calm you down Get you to the next moment The train passes you And then you're running And wow you're so out of breath You really need to exercise more [[Keep running]] [[Take a break]]

You choose not to take shelter in the nearest space between the bars that separate the two sets of tracks You can make it to the next one And then you hear it The screeching Coming up quickly So quickly you don't even have time to think You try to tell your legs to move faster But they can't The hard metal of the subway car caresses your back And everything is quiet If only you had chosen to [[Take a break]]

It's all stupid Why did you even come here To this stupid city Full of mean people and mysterious puddles of liquid and the worst smells ever Did you think you were special? That you could be an artist That you could offer something to this place You have a horrible feeling creeping up your spine The kind that could eat you up if you don't shake it off [[Run right now]] [[Wait a few seconds]]

You got nervous Offered to buy round after round after round You're awkward and embarrassed and then you don't remember And then you're here The sound of the approaching subway car on the rails is piercing It would be funny if it wasn't so scary You have to find a way out Do you [[Run now]] [[Run in 10 seconds]]

And then you're running Faster than you ever thought your legs would let you You're going to get out of here You're sure of it You think of your bed The sheets you haven't washed in weeks Will feel so good against your skin [[Stop and take a breath]]

Tears start to prick your eyes Something starts to wrack your chest And then you're sobbing But you have to go You have to get out of here You take one step onto the tracks But the sobs won't let you go And you can't walk You feel the rumbling before you hear it And you know it's over What if you had chosen to [[Run right now]]

You can do this You can get yourself out There's got to be something here that can help you orient yourself Something to help you find your way out [[Look to your left]] [[Look to your right]] [[Look up]]

You glance to your left hoping for something anything to help you get out of here And all you find is a horde of cockroaches Climbing on top of eachother in an endless pile It makes your guts start to churn You feel a gagging in your throat Fuck this [[Run forward]]

You glance to your right hoping for something anything to help you get out of here And all you find is a swarm of rats You've seen your fair share of rats since moving here But these seem different They are the size of small cats Their tails fatter than you ever thought they could be You feel a gagging in your throat Fuck this [[Run forward]]

You glance up hoping for something anything to help you get out of here And all you find is a single pigeon and a nest There's something in this pigeon's energy Something dark It looks down at you and for a moment its eyes seem red It flicks at something and the nest starts to tilt Down pour the eggs All three of them splatter on by your feet The pigeon stares at you with its bloody eyes Fuck this [[Run forward]]

Now you're barrelling down the tunnel As if you were a subway car What kind of people would fill you up? Maybe you would be cramped and full of commuters Annoyed and elbowing each other Or you might be full of young people on their way to an EDM festival Vaping into each other's faces and stumbling drunk Or There might not be a single soul inside you Just an empty rattling train in the night You stop to catch your breath and realize [[You have to pee so badly]]

"Nope! I got some mold back at base that will really make you see things, but that's for another time" You bring your hand to your face and feel your new sharp whiskers You can feel your hand touching them These might be useful "Come on, follow me" [[Follow]] [[Fuck this! You're getting away from this weird rat]] [[You need a second to collect your thoughts]]

"Lots of folks down here trust me, so I hope so!" You don't really have another choice They said they would turn you back once you get out Let's hope they guide you out quickly "Let's go, follow me" [[Follow]] [[Fuck this! You're getting away from this weird rat]]

The rat takes off and you follow The train is coming and this time it doesn't feel like it's going to kill you As you're running, the train whizzes past It feels really nice To be running with someone by your side The rat turns around and smiles at you Which is a surprise, because you didn't think rats could do that "How're you feeling?" the rat asks [["Good!"]] [["Overwhelmed"]] [["Bad"]]

"Pretty invigorating right?" You nod "These trains make our way of life possible, and it's pretty easy to dodge them" Every time you've ridden the subway you haven't been able to conceptualize anything besides the inside of the car The idea that you could have an experience like this in these dark tunnels would have seemed impossible Together you run for a little while longer until the rat speaks again [["We're here"]]

"I understand, these trains are so powerful, but they make our way of life possible, and it's pretty easy to dodge them" You look at the grimy tracks in front of you You never thought you'd be able to see the dirt this close up To understand every dimension of their ick "Let's go" you say Together you run for a little while longer until the rat speaks again [["We're here"]]

Above you is a light with a whole swarm of moths They desperately swarm in the dim yellow light One flies toward you, and you start to back away until you hear "Thank you for coming" Okay, so apparently moths can talk too? "We're getting desperate, we've been missing one of our own for a while now and none of us feel safe heading out to search" "No problem, we'll get right to it" the rat assures them [[So you both head down the tunnel]]

The rat starts to lead the way There is something about the way they hold themselves as they walk to complete this task There is a sureness in their being Like this is what they were meant to do Maybe you could help So you ask [["Do you know anything about the moth we're looking for?"]]

"Not really, but moths like to stay together down here, they must have wandered off" You look around at the darkness of the tunnel This seems like it might be a hopeless task "We'll each take a side and search for them. Which side do you want to take?" [[Left]] [[Right]]

You search the darkness Your eyesight is worse as a rat, but you use your whiskers to navigate around Your hearing is so much stronger though, you try to listen for the soft flapping of a moth's wing You don't hear anything "Moth? Where are you?" Nothing And then you hear the rat [["Over here!"]]

You search the darkness Your eyesight is worse as a rat, but you use your whiskers to navigate around Your hearing is so much stronger though, you try to listen for the soft flapping of a moth's wing You hear it! "Moth? Is that you?" You hear a soft crying [[In the corner, you see the moth]]

You run over and see the rat comforting a moth You've never seen a moth cry before It's beautiful and ugly all at once Their wings are fluttering back and fork Their whole body is shaking "It's alright, we'll guide you back" "I thought I heard something in the night, not a train, or a rat or anything familiar. So I wandered off. I wanted to make sure we were safe" "You were just trying to take care of your swarm" "I was being stupid, it was just a squirrel. And once I realized that I had wandered off so far" "They know they're not wanted here" [["What's wrong with squirrels?"]] [["Squirrels are so cute"]] [["I really don't like squirrels"]]

You've never seen a moth cry before Their wings are fluttering back and fork Their whole body is shaking It's beautiful and ugly all at once "Who are you?" asks the moth [["I'm a friend of the helpful rat"]] [["Not sure how to answer that right now"]] [["I'm here to bring you back to your swarm"]]

And with that, the rat leads us back through the tunnel The moth has shaken off their stress and looks at you with cautious curiosity They have a question for you "So, you're new around here?" [["Yeah"]] [["No"]] [["Um..."]]

The moth looks at you like you shouldn't have asked that question The rat takes a deep breath in "Humans love to feed squirrels, but they want all rats dead. Rats aren't safe up there, so we've made it very clear that the subway tunnels are our territory" Once the rat is done with their tirade they take a breath and speak [["Let's get them back to their swarm"]]

"Um...okay" the Moth responds awkwardly The rat scampers over Relief washes over the moth at the sight of your rat friend "What happened to you?" they ask "I thought I heard something in the night, not a train, or a rat or anything familiar. So I wandered off. I wanted to make sure we were safe" "You were just trying to take care of your swarm" "I was being stupid, it was just a squirrel. And once I realized that I had wandered off so far" "They know they're not wanted here" [["I really don't like squirrels"]] [["What's wrong with squirrels?"]] [["Squirrels are so cute"]]

The moth lets out a sigh of relief "Oh good, can you take me back?" The rat scampers over "What happened to you?" they ask "I thought I heard something in the night, not a train, or a rat or anything familiar. So I wandered off. I wanted to make sure we were safe." "You were just trying to take care of your swarm." "I was being stupid, it was just a squirrel. And once I realized that I had wandered off so far" "They know they're not wanted here." [["I really don't like squirrels"]] [["What's wrong with squirrels?"]] [["Squirrels are so cute"]]

The moth looks at you expectantly Once he realizes you won't be answering he turns back to the rat "Where'd you meet this quiet little rat?" "Met them out on the street, wanted to show them the subway way of life" the rat explains "I hope you're liking it so far" Both the moth and the rat look at you with such kindness in their beady little eyes [[We're back]]

"Met them out on the street, wanted to show them the subway way of life" the rat explains "I hope you're liking it so far" Both the moth and the rat look at you with such kindness in their beady little eyes [[We're back]]

The swarm quickly moves towards us They are moving as a massive ball of motion, not single creatures They all cheer as one with a harmony of tones of voice One of the moths breaks off and flies down toward us "Thank you for your help" "My pleasure" says the rat And then the moth rejoins the ball Swallowed back up [[Together, you go]]

"Our next stop is this way. I think you're going to like it" As you walk you take note of the lights The way they illuminate the blank wall That wall should be full of something "How was that for you?" The rat asks [["Pretty cool"]] [["Hard, how're you so good at helping people?"]] [["Awkward"]]

"I knew when I first saw you that you would be good at this kind of thing" "What does that mean?" You ask "Just seem like a kind soul, that's all" The rat stops and sniffs They head toward the wall, where a small wad of gum sits A dusty pink ball The rat picks it up in its teeth “We need to take a detour” they say Their tone is resigned [[Guilty almost]]

"I've just always had a knack for it" answers the rat "But I will say it's like a muscle, you just gotta start, I guess" "What do you mean?" You ask "Well, once you start giving people a chance. It gets easier to do it all the time." Are you the type of person that gives people chances? The rat stops and sniffs They head toward the wall, where a small wad of gum sits A dusty pink ball The rat picks it up in its teeth “We need to take a detour” they say Their tone is resigned [[Guilty almost]]

"Just a visitor, decided to show them around, see if they like it" says the rat The pigeon looks at the rat and nods knowingly Then they open a mustard packet and squeeze it into an empty can that once held baked beans "What are you working on here?" asks the rat "Figured I'd spruce up this space with some art!" says the pigeon [["Why'd you pick here?"]] [["Are you an artist?"]]

"I saw the way lights lit the wall, and thought it looked just like this art show I peeked in on once" "I was thinking the same thing!" You say "Are you an artist?" asks the pigeon "Yes, but not that kind" "What kind then?" [["A sculptor"]] [["A writer"]] [["A musician"]] [["I'm not sure anymore"]]

"How wonderful! That's close enough for our purposes, I'm sure" says the pigeon This makes you smile The pigeon points at a space on the wall "That wall needs to be filled up with something and I'd like you to do it!" You usually make art by yourself With no one watching This feels different The pigeon turns to you and asks you a question you never thought you'd be asked in your whole life [["Is it alright if I grab you by the tail?"]]

"Oh how I wish I could read! Let's see what your brilliant mind can do" says the pigeon This makes you smile The pigeon points at a space on the wall "That wall needs to be filled up with something and I'd like you to do it!" You usually make art by yourself With no one watching This feels different The pigeon turns to you and asks you a question you never thought you'd be asked in your whole life [["Is it alright if I grab you by the tail?"]]

"Oh that's lovely! I love hearing music on the street, singers, drummers, all of that" says the pigeon This makes you smile The pigeon points at a space on the wall "That wall needs to be filled up with something and I'd like you to do it!" You usually make art by yourself With no one watching This feels different The pigeon turns to you and asks you a question you never thought you'd be asked in your whole life [["Is it alright if I grab you by the tail?"]]

"Well let's help you remember!" says the pigeon This makes you smile The pigeon points at a space on the wall "That wall needs to be filled up with something and I'd like you to do it!" You usually make art by yourself With no one watching This feels different The pigeon turns to you and asks you a question you never thought you'd be asked in your whole life [["Is it alright if I grab you by the tail?"]]

Tentatively you speak "Sure" And then you're scooped up and hovering above the ramen cup full of ketchup and the bean can full of mustard "Red or yellow?" The rat asks [["Red"]] [["Yellow"]] [["Both!"]]

The pigeon dips both your paws in the ketchup Then they bring you up to the blank wall "Alrighty! What do you want to draw?" The rat shouts What do you want to draw What What do you Um Hm Try not to freak out But you are totally freaking out "You okay up there?" The rat asks "Do you need to take a break?" suggests the pigeon [["Yeah, a break sounds good"]] [["Oh yeah I'm feeling great!"]]

The pigeon dips both your paws in the mustard Then they bring you up to the blank wall "Alrighty! What do you want to draw?" The rat shouts What do you want to draw What What do you Um Hm Try not to freak out But you are totally freaking out "You okay up there?" The rat asks [["A break sounds good"]] [["Oh yeah I'm feeling great!"]]

The pigeon dips one of your paws in the ketchup and the other in the mustard Then they bring you up to the blank wall "Alrighty! What do you want to draw?" The rat shouts What do you want to draw What What do you Um Hm Try not to freak out But you are totally freaking out "You okay up there?" The rat asks [["A break seems like a good idea"]] [["Oh yeah I'm feeling great!"]]

The pigeon brings you back down "What's going on?" They ask You take a deep breath "I... I don’t...I don’t know what to draw and I’m supposed to. I’ve always been creative. That’s how I’ve always described myself but since I’ve moved here it’s... It’s so hard. I feel like I’m drowning in every type of art. Why does what I have to say-" [[But the pigeon cuts you off]]

"Don't even say that thought aloud. All art inherently matters, because it's an expression of emotion and feeling. And those are the most important things that exist." "But what if the people on the subway see it and they think it's stupid?" "It’s easy to get caught up in what everyone else is thinking. But, if you get lost in that you’re going to lose all the joy of making. I know we just met, but I won’t let you give that up." Gently, the rat speaks, "Just paint the first thing you think of" [[A haunting chili pepper]] [[Elmo smoking a cigarette]] [[A happy enchilada]]

"Don't even say that thought aloud. All art inherently matters, because it's an expression of emotion and feeling. And those are the most important things that exist." "But what if the people on the subway see it and they think it's stupid?" "It’s easy to get caught up in what everyone else is thinking. But, if you get lost in that you’re going to lose all the joy of making. I know we just met, but I won’t let you give that up." Gently, the rat speaks, "Just paint the first thing you think of" [[A rubber ducky smoking a joint]] [[A happy banana wearing a crown]]

"Don't even say that thought aloud. All art inherently matters, because it's an expression of emotion and feeling. And those are the most important things that exist." "But what if the people on the subway see it and they think it's stupid?" "It’s easy to get caught up in what everyone else is thinking. But, if you get lost in that you’re going to lose all the joy of making. I know we just met, but I won’t let you give that up." Gently, the rat speaks, "Just paint the first thing you think of" [[A fire hydrant being peed on by a golden retriever]] [[A volcano and the sun on a date]]

You paint and paint and paint And then you've done it </style> <img src=https://i.pinimg.com/originals/06/50/7d/06507d91e75e7b7351a209927f9f06c0.jpg> </div> "Very cool! Have it in you to do another?" The pigeon asks [["Yeah!"]] [["I'm all painted out"]]

You paint and paint and paint And then you've done it </style> <img src=https://i.pinimg.com/originals/fb/57/cc/fb57ccd2856236ad9bfc1ec853e27f8c.jpg> </div> "Very cool! Have it in you to do another?" The pigeon asks [["Yeah!"]] [["I'm all painted out"]]

You paint and paint and paint And then you've done it </style> <img src=https://i.pinimg.com/originals/6a/ba/b0/6abab0d6e40466dd7eb469224a3a76a0.jpg> </div> "How funny! Have it in you to do another?" The pigeon asks [["Yeah!"]] [["I'm all painted out"]]

You paint and paint and paint And then you've done it </style> <img src=https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ae/63/c0/ae63c0fcb3ac5bab73a7ee3b4e6c0e4b.jpg> </div> "I love it! Have it in you to do another?" The pigeon asks [["Yeah!"]] [["I'm all painted out"]]

You paint and paint and paint And then you've done it </style> <img src=https://i.pinimg.com/originals/6d/02/87/6d028724f0a1b50ccea58360d56fef42.jpg> </div> "Very cool! Have it in you to do another?" The pigeon asks [["Yeah!"]] [["I'm all painted out"]]

You paint and paint and paint And then you've done it </style> <img src=https://i.pinimg.com/originals/d0/4c/cb/d04ccb44687424e7f0461425d98b6460.jpg> </div> "How cute! Have it in you to do another?" The pigeon asks [["Yeah!"]] [["I'm all painted out"]]

"Thank you so much" You say "No, thank you. Will I see you around?" The pigeon asks "Maybe" the rat answers for you Then right as you turn to go, the pigeon speaks again "And it's nice to see you doing the rounds with someone again" The rat seems a little embarrassed, but together [[You make your way down the tunnel]]

Suddenly, a swarm of flies encircles you There is panic in their movements "We barely made it down here" "We couldn't find them" "Will you help us?" There are so many shrill fly voices and buzzing [[And then they all fall to the ground]]

You have a good sense of when to run and when to take breaks now See you're doing it! You're getting yourself out! You're bound to approach a station soon But What if you had stayed with that rat? You've always wanted to be the kind of person that says yes to things But no You can do this yourself [[You start to see the light of the subway station]]

You start running fast You're going to get yourself home! Then you're in the station You start hoisting yourself up from the tracks You look up, and everyone is staring at you People make sounds of disgust Their voices ring in your ears You suddenly become aware that you are covered in dirt and filth You really need someone to come and help pull you up [["Could someone help me?"]] [[No you can just do it yourself]]

But right as you ask it you know that no one is going to help you They all look away like you just asked them for money So you pull yourself up And slam yourself against the hard concrete of the platform When you stand up you are so aware of yourself The way you look These people look at you with a sharpness that burns [[You leave the station]]

You pull yourself up And slam yourself against the hard concrete of the platform When you stand up you are so aware of yourself The way you look These people look at you with a sharpness that burns [[You leave the station]]

The morning light hits your skin And it's so warm and kind it makes you want to cry But these people They still feel so cold You make your way home You take a shower first Charge your phone Once it's on, you call up your parents You take a deep breath and tell them what your heart knows "Can I come home? Please?" What if a nice day with that rat could have changed things for you? If only you could go back and just say [["Yes"]]

"What was that?" you ask "Flies, incredibly short lifespan" the rat responds And then there's buzzing again A new generation of flies rise from the ground [[And zooms down the tunnel]]

"Let's keep moving" You follow the rat down the tunnel Your stomach lets out a light growl It’s been so long since you’ve last eaten But the idea of eating as a rat is a little horrifying All the food down here has touched so many places, so many mouths “You feeling hungry?” the rat asks [[“Yeah”]] [[“Not really”]]

You're having a hard time getting yourself to walk towards these creatures They always gave you the creepy crawlies But things are different now Don't make a fool of yourself [["I'm just a little scared of cockroaches"]] [["uhhhhhhhhhhh...ummmmmmmmmmm"]] [["I hate cockroaches"]]

"Well you don't need to feel that way here, they're not going to do anything to you" "It's not about that" you explain "They're members of this community, so we need to check in with them" "Okay" you say as you take a deep breath [[Together you step forward towards them]]

The rat just looks at you "I'm just, I don't really like cockroaches" you admit The rats laughs a little "Well, time to suck it up. They're members of this community and we need to check in with them" [[Together you step forward towards them]]

The cockroaches are all laughing as you walk up Some of them turn to greet you and the rat "You'll never believe what we pulled off up there man!" one boasts "We were hanging out under a bench, and we saw this lady with a milkshake walk towards us, so a few of us jumped out and scared her and she dropped it!" "It was strawberry! You should come with us next time!" There is so much excitement in these creatures "Thanks for the invite, but I prefer to stay down here" the rat responds You notice one cockroach doesn't exude this same excitement And a moment later, that cockroach slips away unnoticed by anyone but you You take a deep breath and ask about it [["Are they okay?"]]

"We don't really know?" One of the cockroaches responds "They've been keeping to themselves a lot lately" You look at the rat and they nod back at you "Let's go see if we can have a chat with them" says the rat [[With that, you and the rat head down the tunnel]]

The cockroach is sitting a few feet away When they notice you and the rat approach they nod and greet you "Hey" There's an odd nervousness in their voice as they speak "We just wanted to check on you" the rat says "Did they send you here to talk to me?" You can't tell if the cockroach is mad or hopeful when they ask that "How are you feeling?" you ask "I don't know" The cockroach says quickly [[Maybe they don't want any help]]

You take a deep breath "Why? What happened?" you ask "They just, they don't, they don't understand. They don't let me have a say" "They don't listen to you?" "Yeah, sometimes I just feel like they all got over it. The fact that we’re these like gross bugs, but I can’t get it out of my head. I just want to be in the shadows and I want to forget about my body. I just want to breathe I just I want to be nowhere-" Those words fly out of the cockroach in one rushed confession Then they seem awkward and nervous But you think you understand what they mean [[Let the rat talk]] [[Try handling this yourself]]

"Who said that the people get to decide? Why don’t we get to choose who we are?" The rat asks "I don't know, I'm sorry. I just think a little too hard sometimes" The cockroach seems really embarrassed now Could you have said something better? Maybe "Can we go back to the group now?" asks the cockroach You and the rat nod [[You walk back]]

"I'm here to listen. It's okay" You say gently "And I want to be able to spend time with them, but I feel weird and sad. I don’t want them to get infected with my bad feelings. How do I let this out without hurting everyone?" "Sometimes all you can do is be honest. Sometimes keeping it in does more damage" The rat says "But what if it hurts them so so much they don’t want to be near me anymore? And then I’m alone with this" [[You can do this, you can be good at talking to people]]

When you get back to the group, the cockroach rejoins You and the rat say goodbye and continue your walk down the tunnel You think of the cockroach's confession And the times you've felt that way Maybe you'll see them again And you can tell them about it You and the rat walk along for a while "When did you first realize this is what wanted to spend your time doing?" you ask [[The rat stops walking and looks at you thoughtfully]]

You approach with caution And when you turn the corner It's a squirrel The squirrel you saw earlier They're curled up Cradling an injured foot [["Are you okay?"]] [["You need to leave now"]]

"It sounds like you’re already alone with this. It seems like your friends love you and that they want to help you. Like they want to help you see yourself how they see you" You breathe again You need them to know you understand That you feel this way sometimes too "Sometimes I get locked in this idea that how I see myself right now is how I will always see myself. But it isn't true. It can change" "What if it never does?" asks the cockroach "You have to try, it's the only way forward" "I'm not sure if I can today, or tomorrow-" "That's okay, you have to be patient with yourself" You hear the cockroach let out a long breath [["Okay, let's head back" they say]]

As you approach, one of the cockroaches breaks off and walks up to your group "We'll see you around" says the rat "Yeah, thanks" says the cockroach The other cockroach greets the sad one And your sad friend embraces the other And holds tightly You and the rat start to wander down the tunnels The rat turns to you and says "Really good work back there" This makes you smile "When did you first realize this is what wanted to spend your time doing?" you ask [[The rat stops walking and looks at you thoughtfully]]

"Okay, sorry" The squirrel's nervous energy is palpable "I need to stop saying sorry" they mumble to themselves "It's okay. They'll be back soon and we can bandage you up" There's an awkward silence for a moment Why did this squirrel risk coming here? "You're looking for something, right?" "Someone. One of my buddies and their parent, they went to get our group some more food one day and never came back. I know they're probably not here, but I had to check" They seem genuine "Makes sense" you say [[The rat approaches with some strips of cloth]]

"It's just always been like this. Squirrels aren't supposed to go in the subway. And I understand why. It's safe for us outside, people let us be. But for rats and some of the other folks who live down here, they can't safely be up there" "I guess that makes sense" "What have you heard them say about us?" [["Nothing really"]] [["That you're not allowed to be here"]] [["They really don't like you"]]

Together, you and the rat pull out the glass and bandage the squirrel's paw Suddenly, the rat remembers something "We better get going! We're going to be late" "Late for what?" You ask "That dinner I was telling you about, back at base" "You didn't tell me about that" you say "You're having a dinner?" asks the squirrel "Yeah and we have to bring something so we better head out" says the rat The squirrel is able to stand now What would happen if you brought the squirrel? Would people be nice or mean? Do you even want to find out? [["Do you want to come with us to dinner?" you ask the squirrel]] [["Let's get going"]]

The squirrel looks at you in stunned silence "Did you hear what I said?" you ask "Uh yes I did but are you sure? You want me there?" You look at the rat The rat just shrugs This is something you can help with Or at least try to "Yes, yes I am" you say with lackluster confidence The rat sighs and says "Alright, we better get looking for some food to bring to this shindig" [[Together you head forward to search]]

You and the rat make your way down the tunnel The rat stops for a second with something like regret on their face "Maybe someday we'll invite a squirrel, but not today" says the rat Maybe you should have just done it But no You're new here That might not have gone well "Alright, so we need to find something to bring to dinner. Follow me" [[You follow]]

And as you do, you start to hear the familiar hum of humanity Chatting, popping gum, spitting "Here's where I usually get lucky" You follow the rat to a corner that is so close to the light of the subway station Which one do you want to bring? [[A half drunk tepid bottle of pepsi]] [[A sliver of pita and half a falafel]] [[A corner of a giant pretzel dipped in mustard]]

You take the cap in your teeth and pull it along The rat gestures back towards the tunnel and speaks "Home base is back this way" [[And as you have been doing all day, you follow]]

You gather the pita and falafel in the paper wrapper and drag it along with your teeth The rat gestures back towards the tunnel and speaks "Home base is back this way" [[And as you have been doing all day, you follow]]

You place the pretzel remains in some ripped newspaper and drag it along with your teeth The rat gestures back towards the tunnel and speaks "Home base is back this way" [[And as you have been doing all day, you follow]]

“We’re here” says the rat It’s just a hole in a wall? Well I mean what did you expect? You're in a tunnel underground [[You look at them skeptically but duck inside]]

Once you do, the first thing you notice is the sound The home base is chattering with activity Moths, flies, millipedes, rats, cockroaches, pigeons [[They crowd the small space]]

In the middle of the room is a long table where all their offerings lay Old french fries, half eaten candy, stray noodles, a quarter of a hamburger Here, these items feel revered [[Beautiful even]]

“There’s some time to chat with folks before we get dinner started. When it’s time they’ll ring that bell” In the corner is a small novelty I <3 New York bell [["Thank you for bringing me here"]] [["This is, I’m…I’m nervous"]] [["Do I have to stay long?"]]

“Of course! You earned it for sticking with me all day. I’ve lost people after I turned them into rats before.” “Really?” “Yeah, you made a choice by sticking with me. I appreciate it.” You did make a choice, a brave one. "And people will be cool with the fact I'm here?" you ask "Of course! Everyone's really friendly, no snotty squirrels around here" The rat gently pushes you away and says [["Now go chat with some folks!"]]

“Don’t worry, folks here are perfectly friendly. No snotty squirrels around here” “But what if they don’t like that I’m here?” you squeakily ask “They like newcomers, especially ones who help out like you have." The rat gently pushes you away and says [["Now go chat with some folks!"]]

You notice that both the pigeon and cockroach you helped are here Maybe you could chat with one of them? [[You head over to the pigeon]] [[You head over to the cockroach]]

The pigeon notices you as you approach “Nice to see you here!” “I’m really glad to be here” you say back They have a way about them that makes you feel like you already know them But you don't really Maybe you could ask them something? [[“How long have you been coming here?”]] [[“Do you remember the first piece of art you made?”]]

“Hey” the cockroach greets you sheepishly “Hi” you say back They seem a bit more cool guy than they did earlier Are they embarrassed? “Thanks for, thanks for giving a shit about me” they muttered The vulnerability in the cockroach's cool guy demeanor stuns you for a second "Of course" you say, and then you add [["The rat I was with did the same thing for me today"]]

“Oh as long as I can remember, my parents have been bringing me down here. And then when they died I decided to move down here. I make a trip to the surface every now and then, but mostly I’m down here” they explain “Why? Why don’t you go live on the surface?” “Well, I made myself a life down here. There are people who care about me, I have something I like to do, and this dinner to look forward to every week. And I get to meet nice folks like you” You feel your mouth fold into a smile Now the pigeon has a question for you [[“So, you plan on staying long?”]]

“It was an accident actually. My mother and I were pulling on the wrapper of an ice cream bar, trying to get it open and I pulled too hard. That made melted cream spray all over the wall, and it made me think of all the street art I’ve seen. I don’t even really remember what I drew, all I remember is the feeling of making something, of expressing what I have inside me” You feel your mouth fold into a smile “I’m really glad I met you here” you say Now the pigeon has a question for you [[“So, you plan on staying long?”]]

You hadn't thought about this part Saying goodbye after today Feels hard [["No, I’m heading out after this"]] [["I’m thinking about it"]]

“Well, I’m still glad to have met you. Know that you’re always welcome here” The bell starts to ring "Let's find our seats" says the pigeon [[It’s time for dinner]]

“That makes me happy! Well, whatever you choose…just know you’re always welcome here” The bell starts to ring "Let's find our seats" says the pigeon [[It’s time for dinner]]

You make your way towards the table Oh god where are you going to sit You choose somewhere in the middle This seems like a good choice Bound not to offend anyone Oh noooooo The rat beckons you towards the head “Sit next to me” they say So begrudgingly, you do [[And then the feasting begins]]

“For sure. So, you’re new here?” You hadn't thought about this part Saying goodbye after today Feels hard [["Yeah, I’m thinking I might stick around"]] [["Nah, just visiting"]]

“That’s really nice. So, you’re new here?” You hadn't thought about this part Saying goodbye after today Feels hard [["Yeah, I’m thinking I might stick around"]] [["Nah, just visiting"]]

“Yeah? How?” asks the cockroach “Yeah, they’ve been reminding me of some things I forgot” “Like what?” [["That I'm capable of connection. Real connection"]] [["That you have to trust the goodness of others"]]

“Sweet, well then I’ll see you around” The bell starts to ring "That means we gotta take a seat" says the cockroach [[It’s time for dinner]]

"Totally. Well thanks anyways" The bell starts to ring "That means we gotta take a seat" says the cockroach [[It’s time for dinner]]

Folks are passing the food around And it all feels So good To be sitting at this table Full of souls Full of creatures who care about each other [[Who could care about you]]

“Would anyone like to make a toast?” asks the pigeon The rat smiles and lifts a piece of food up “To my new friend. Thank you for your bravery, your trust, and your kindness. No matter what happens next, I hope you will always remember the warmth you brought to this community. And to me.” Everyone lifts up a piece of their meal and smiles And you feel a joyful tingle run through your boy The feeling of having made some beautiful out of something that felt like it was going to be so ugly [[The feeling of building the beginning of a home]]

Around the table you hear laughs, happy chatting, and munching As everyone finished eating, the moths all rise “You’re going to love this” says the rat The moths start to buzz at different frequencies Making music with their bodies It’s oddly upbeat and it makes your heart rise in your chest [[“Now we dance”]]

Everyone rises and grooves joyously Cockroaches zig and zag around each other laughing The pigeon bobs back and forth The flies zoom around to the beat And you and the rat wiggle and laugh and dance When that song ends the moths start on another And another and another And when they’re finally done The rat turns to you and says [["Let's go on a walk"]]

The two of you slip out of the hole and into the tunnel The air out here is colder than inside And it feels jarring "So, how'd you like your first family dinner?" [["It was really nice"]] [["It was great but it made me feel sad"]] [["It was really overwhelming"]]

"I'm glad to hear it, you deserve a nice evening" "Why did you bring me out here?" you ask "Because I have an important question to ask you" "Alright" The rat takes a breath in Like they're hoping for something "Would you like to stay down here with us?" [["Is that possible?"]] [["I don't know..."]]

"Why did it make you feel sad?" The rat asks "Because I have to leave, that's why you pulled me out of there right?" The rat takes a breath in Like they're hoping for something "Would you like to stay down here with us?" [["Is that possible?"]] [["I don't know..."]]

"No pressure, but if you wanted to, we could make that happen. And if you ever wanted to be turned back into a human at any point in the future, I would do that for you" Why does that sound really nice? Being here "But if you want to be turned back, I understand. You're going to do incredible things up there, I know it" You take a deep breath "What do you say?" [[Stay here with the creatures in the subway]] [[Go back to the surface]]

"No pressure, but if you wanted to, we could make that happen. And if you ever wanted to be turned back into a human at any point in the future, I would do that for you" It sounds too nice Staying here "But if you want to be turned back, I understand. You're going to do incredible things up there, I know it" You take a deep breath "What do you say?" [[Stay here with the creatures in the subway]] [[Go back to the surface]]

"Really?" "Yeah, Really" you say back You can feel that your words just lit up something in your new friend "I just, I'm, I don't know what to say" the rat mutters But in their eyes you can see it A future where the two of you go on a daily stroll Where this rat is the first person you tell when something funny or sad or weird happens to you "What do you say we go back to the party and tell everyone you're sticking around?" "I would really like that" [[Together, you duck back into the party]]

"I'm so glad to have met you today" the rat says You think you maybe see a tear in their eye? "Me too" You see the rat letting out a long deep breath You know this isn't the answer they wanted But it's what you need to do "What do you say we head back in and say goodbye?" "Let's do it" you say You watch the rat quickly wipe their eyes [[Together you head back into the party]]

"I have an announcement to make!" yells the rat Everyone turns from their chatting and merriment to look at you and the rat "Our new friend will be staying with us!" The mass of creatures cheers and buzzes and yelps and squeals "Is there anything you would like to say to everyone?" [["Thank you for welcoming me into your home"]]

"When I came here this morning, I felt really terrible. I was looking for a place to be that felt good, and I feel so surprised and happy to have found it here" As soon as you're done talking the rat wraps their paws around you And then everyone wants to come and talk with you To meet you To know you And your heart fills up with such gratitude To have people want to know you Is the most beautiful thing THE END

"Folks, I have an announcement" Everyone turns from their chatting and merriment to look at you and the rat "Our new friend will be heading up to the surface, but let's make sure they know that they are always welcome here by giving them a lovely send off" The mass of creatures cheers and buzzes and yelps and squeals "Would you like to say anything?" the rat asks [["No, I don't think I can"]] [["Yeah, I would"]]

"That's okay" You feel the rats paws wrap around you, and then all the creatures are coming up to you "Good luck up there" "Thank you for helping me today" "I know we'll meet again" After a while the rat finds you again "It's time to go" [[You follow the rat one last time]]

"This morning, I wasn't sure I knew how to be good anymore. I was angry and jaded and I felt like nothing happy could happen to me. But then I followed this rat, and I found all these things. Beautiful, generous, and happy things" As soon as you close your mouth, you feel the rats paws wrap around you, and then all the creatures are coming up to you "Good luck up there" "Thank you for helping me today" "I know we'll meet again" After a while the rat finds you again "It's time to go" [[You follow the rat one last time]]

"Let's have one last good run!" the rat gently orders And then you're both flying down the tunnel As the subway cars race by you You feel nothing but gratitude And suddenly the tunnel opens to the night sky And you and the rat are staring up at the stars [["I'm so glad to have gotten to spend today with you" says the rat]]

"Thank you for helping me remember what I like about myself" you say "And thank you for keeping me company, since my friend left I've been..." The rat quickly swipes away the small tears that are forming in their eyes "I'm really glad I was able to do that for you" you offer back But then the harshness of what you're doing hits you You gave that to them and now you're taking it away You turn away from the subway tunnel for a moment The loudness of the city is back in your ears, grinding and squeaking and loud "What if...what if when I go back I fall apart again? What if I feel..." you trail off, not even sure you want to finish that sentence "Anytime you start to feel that way again, remember that we’re right underneath your feet. Rooting for you." Just as you start to feel liquid prick at your eyes, you speak [["I think I'm ready"]]

The rat bows their head and you feel yourself grow tall And then you're back in your body Towering over the rat who changed your life today You give them one last nod And then turn around and climb over the fence beside the track You need to keep moving otherwise you'll turn back and beg to be a rat again [[You walk towards the bus stop]]

You look a little banged up and gross from your night in the tunnels, but if you keep your head down no one really notices You take a seat on the bench beside the bus stop, and wait As you do you watch another young person approach Suddenly, they stop walking, squeal a little, and run away You get up and investigate what made them leave It's a few rats snacking on an abandoned burrito Beside you on the bench is a flyer and on the ground is a chewed on pen You flip the flyer to its blank side and [[Sketch the rats]] [[Scribble a short poem]] [[Write a quick lyric]]

And as you do, you start to hear the familiar hum of humanity Chatting, popping gum, spitting "Here's where I usually get lucky" says the rat You follow the rat to a corner that is so close to the light of the subway station Which one do you want to bring to the feast? [[A half drunk bottle of Mountain Dew]] [[The crusts of some pizza]] [[A lone hot dog without a bun]]

You take the cap in your teeth and pull it along The squirrel finds a half drunk tepid bottle of pepsi and does the same The rat gestures back towards the tunnel and speaks "Home base is back this way" [[And once again, you follow]]

You wrap the crusts in some ripped newspaper and pick it up with your teeth The squirrel finds a sliver of pita and half a falafel, and does the same The rat gestures back towards the tunnel and speaks "Home base is back this way" [[And once again, you follow]]

You dig your teeth into one end of the dog and drag it along The squirrel finds a corner of a giant pretzel dipped in mustard and does the same The rat gestures back towards the tunnel and speaks "Home base is back this way" [[And once again, you follow]]

“We’re here” says the rat It’s just a hole in the wall “I’m not sure I…” starts the squirrel And you realize you’re not sure either You’re a guest and you brought a guest “I’ll introduce you both, then you’ll say a few words about why you invited our furry friend” assures the rat You should have known you were going to have to explain yourself The rat ducks into the hole [[You and the squirrel follow]]

Once you do, the first thing you notice is the sound The home base is chattering with activity Moths, flies, millipedes, rats, cockroaches, pigeons [[They fill the small space to capacity]]

In the middle of the room is a long table where all their offerings lay Old french fries, half eaten candy, stray noodles, a quarter of a hamburger Here, these items feel beautiful [[Holy even]]

“There’s some time to chat with folks before we get dinner started. When it’s time they’ll ring that bell” says the rat In the corner is a small novelty I <3 New York bell [["Thank you for inviting me"]] [["This is...I’m feeling nervous"]] [["How long do we have to stay?"]]

“Of course! You earned it. Sticking with me all day. I’ve lost people after I turned them into rats before.” “Really?” “Yeah, you made a choice by sticking with me. I appreciate it.” The rat pushes you away gently "Now go mingle before we eat" [[Chat with the pigeon]] [[Chat with the cockroach]]

“Don’t worry, folks here are perfectly friendly” “But what if they don’t like that I’m here?” asks the Squirrel “They might, but all you can do is be perfectly polite.” You take a deep breath and find someone to chat with [[Chat with the pigeon]] [[Chat with the cockroach]]

As you approach, the pigeon spreads their wings and envelops you in a hug Thank god they're here “Nice to see you! And who’s your friend?” asks the pigeon [[“I um I well”]] [[“Someone who needed a good meal”]] [["Is it okay that I invited a squirrel?"]]

You walk up to the cockroach It’s a little awkward “Hey” “Hi” “Where’d you find this guy?” the cockroach asks The squirrel awkwardly fiddles with their paws [[“I um hm I...”]] [[“Just someone who needed a good meal”]] [["Do you think people are upset I invited a squirrel?"]]

“I needed some help earlier, and they invited me. I hope it’s okay that I’m here” interrupts the Squirrel “Of course darling, it’s been a long time since I’ve gotten to chat with a squirrel! I had an old friend who mostly hung out in Bryant park. They had this streak of gray in their tail, and they’d let me use it like a paintbrush.” The memory of that makes the pigeon blush? You didn't know pigeons could do that “Really? The squirrel asks “Have you seen them at all down here? Or a squirrel that looks like them?” “No I haven’t, why?” “That’s how I got so turned around and ended up in the tunnels, I was looking for your old friend and their kid. I’m usually up in Bryant park too” “No kidding. Well I’m sorry to hear they’re lost” “Yeah, me too” “But I’ll tell the others to keep an eye out, we’ll do everything we can to get them home to you, okay?” “That means a lot, thank you” “So, my new rat friend, are you planning on staying long?” [["No, I’m heading out soon"]] [["Thinking about it"]]

“I’d gotten myself into a bit of a pickle looking for some friends. Thank you for having me here.” explains the squirrel “Of course darling, it’s been a long time since I’ve gotten to chat with a squirrel! I had an old friend who mostly hung out in Bryant park. They had this streak of gray in their tail, and they’d let me use it like a paintbrush.” The memory of that makes the pigeon blush? You didn't know pigeons could do that “Really? The squirrel asks “Have you seen them at all down here? Or a squirrel that looks like them?” “No I haven’t, why?” “That’s how I got so turned around and ended up in the tunnels, I was looking for your old friend and their kid. I’m usually up in Bryant park too” “No kidding. Well I’m sorry to hear they’re lost.” “Yeah, me too” “But I’ll tell the others to keep an eye out, we’ll do everything we can to get them home to you, okay?” “That means a lot, thank you” “So, my new rat friend, are you planning on staying long?” [["No, I’m heading out soon"]] [["Thinking about it"]]

“Well, I’m still glad to have met you. Know that you’re always welcome here” The bell starts to ring It’s time for dinner [[You head towards the table]]

“That makes me happy! Well, whatever you choose, just know you’re always welcome here” The bell starts to ring It’s time for dinner [[You head towards the table]]

And you walk straight into the horde of cockroaches "Why would you invite a squirrel here?" "There's a rule for a reason" They're launching questions and accusations at you like grenades The rat notices from their spot at the table and walks over They cut through the noise with their voice "Will you let my friend speak?" the rat asks And then there's silence [["I’m sorry I’ll tell them to go"]] [["There’s no reason for you all to treat squirrels this way"]] [["Um...I don’t know...I..."]] [["I wanted to extend the same kindness to them that you all extended to me"]]

“I needed some help earlier, and they invited me. I hope it’s okay that I’m here” interrupts the squirrel “Yeah it’s whatever. But I...” Now the cockroach seems embarrassed They speak “Thanks for, thanks for giving a shit about me” The vulnerability in the cockroach's cool guy demeanor stuns you for a second And then you speak "The rat I was with did the same thing for me" “Yeah?” asks the cockroach “Yeah, they’ve been reminding me of some things I forgot” “Like what?” [["That I can make real connections"]] [["That you need to trust in the goodness of others"]]

“Did you both bring something for the potluck?” asks the cockroach “Yeah” Now the cockroach seems embarrassed They speak “Thanks for, thanks for giving a shit about me” The vulnerability in the cockroach's cool guy demeanor stuns you for a second And then you speak "The rat I was with did the same thing for me" “Yeah?” asks the cockroach “Yeah, they’ve been reminding me of some things I forgot” “Like what?” [["That I can make real connections"]] [["That you need to trust in the goodness of others"]]

“For sure, did you think you were shit at it before?" "Pretty much yeah" you say as you laugh a little The cockroach seems more at ease now "Are you heading out after this or sticking around?" [["Yeah, I might stick around"]] [["Nope, just visiting"]]

“But like, what if it’s not true. Like what if some people just suck?” asks the cockroach “We might need to take that risk” The cockroach looks at the squirrel for a moment, they soften when they speak again “So, are you heading out after this or sticking around?” [["Yeah, I might stick around"]] [["Nope, just visiting"]]

“Sweet, well then I’ll see you around” The bell starts to ring It’s time for dinner [[You head towards the table]]

"Bummer, well it was nice to meet you anyways" The bell starts to ring It’s time for dinner [[You head towards the table]]

Folks are passing the food around And it all feels So good To be sitting at this table Full of souls Full of creatures who care about each other Who could care about you [[If only there was a way to stay]]

Suddenly, the rat speaks Their voice rises above the chomping and chatting of the table “My new friend has something they would like to say” As the rat speaks they nod at you You rise and choose your words [["Thank you all for having myself and my friend the squirrel here for dinner..."]] [["Thanks so much for having me here tonight..."]]

"I know there’s history I don’t fully understand between the squirrels and the folks that live in the tunnels. But when I came across someone who needed some help and a good meal, I immediately extended the invitation. I truly apologize if I made any of you uncomfortable." This feels like it's going okay! "This morning, I made a new friend who changed my life. They picked me out of the subway's mouth and showed me that there is another way to move through this life. That we can have days full of generosity and light" You feel something stirring in your eyes But you wipe it away "So, thank you to all of you, for welcoming me into your world." [[Once you finish, the sound of gentle clapping fills the room]]

"It's really awesome here and I'm glad I got to come to this dinner. I'm sorry for bringing a squirrel here, but thank you all for being so cool about...yeah just...thank you" Oof that did not go great But the rat offers you a pat on the back [[There's some scattered clapping]]

You sit back down, and the rat smiles and lifts a piece of food up “To my new friend. Thank you for your bravery, your trust, and your kindness. No matter what happens next, I hope you will always remember the warmth you brought to this community.” Everyone lifts up a piece of their meal and smiles And you feel a joyful tingle run through your body The feeling of having made something beautiful out of something that felt like it was going to be so ugly [[The feeling of creating a home]]

Around the table you hear laughs, happy chatting, and munching As everyone finishes eating, the moths all rise “You’re going to love this” says the rat The moths start to buzz at different frequencies Making music with their bodies It’s oddly upbeat and it makes your heart rise in your chest [[“Let's dance”]]

Everyone rises and grooves joyously The pigeon bobs back and forth The flies zoom around to the beat And you and the rat and the squirrel wiggle and laugh and dance When that song ends the moths start on another And another and another And when they’re finally done [[The rat asks you to take a walk]]

Everyone rises and grooves joyously The pigeon bobs back and forth The flies zoom around to the beat You stick with the squirrel and the two of you sway self consciously Until the rat approaches and together the three of you wiggle and laugh and dance When that song ends the moths start on another And another and another And when they’re finally done [[Then the rat asks you to go on a walk]]

The two of you slip out of the hole and into the tunnel The air out here is colder than inside And it feels jarring "So, how'd you like your first family dinner?" [["It was nice"]] [["It was good but it made me feel sad"]]

The two of you slip out of the hole and into the tunnel The air out here is colder than inside And it feels jarring "So, how'd you like your first family dinner?" [["I feel like I messed it up"]] [["I shouldn't have brought the squirrel"]]

"I'm glad to hear it, you deserve a nice evening" "Why did you bring me out here?" you ask "Because I have an important question to ask you" "Alright" There's a glimmer of hope in the rat's eyes "Would you like to stay down here with us?" [["Is that a possibility?"]] [["I'm not really sure"]]

"Why did it make you feel sad?" The rat asks "Because I have to leave, that's why you pulled me out of there right?" There's a glimmer of hope in the rat's eyes "Would you like to stay down here with us?" [["Is that a possibility?"]] [["I'm not really sure"]]

"No pressure, but if you wanted to, we could make that happen. And if you ever wanted to be turned back into a human at any point in the future, I would do that for you" Why does that sound really nice? Being here "But if you want to be turned back, I understand. You're going to do incredible things up there, I know it" You take a deep breath "What do you say?" [[Stay with the creatures in the subway]] [[Return to the surface]]

"No pressure, but if you wanted to, we could make that happen. And if you ever wanted to be turned back into a human at any point in the future, I would do that for you" It sounds too nice Staying here "But if you want to be turned back, I understand. You're going to do incredible things up there, I know it" You take a deep breath "What do you say?" [[Stay with the creatures in the subway]] [[Return to the surface]]

"Can I head back in and let them know I'm staying?" you ask "Wait" says the rat "What you did tonight made me realize something. Sometimes I think I always know the best way to help people, but that's not always true. Maybe my friend left because I wasn't the one to help them, my way wouldn't work. They had to go find their own way. I have to let them go." Tears are streaming down the rat's face You embrace them tightly and fiercely You feel their fuzzy body in your arms And you feel them relax into you What a feeling that is To be trusted by someone like this They let go, wipe their tears and start to speak "Let's go tell everyone the good news" [[Together, you head back into the party]]

"When I came here this morning, I felt really terrible. I was looking for a place to be that felt good, and I feel so surprised and happy to have found it here" As soon as you're done talking the rat wraps their paws around you And then the squirrel does too Who thanks you profusely for inviting them today And then everyone wants to come and talk with you To meet you To know you And your heart fills up with such gratitude To have people want to know you Is the most beautiful thing THE END [[Credits]]

You turn away from the rat and start running Oh my god you're still a rat This can't be real Nope Maybe it's like one of those things where if you get out of the subway Then you'll turn back into a human [[Yeah it's definitely one of those things]]

Soon you hear the familiar hum of the subway station People shuffling about, chatting, and hocking loogies You climb up off the tracks Which is surprisingly easy as a rat Once you're up off the tracks you watch as a lady grimaces at you And you're still a rat Okay there's still hope [[Maybe once you're outside?]]

You hop up the stairs headed to the surface You try not to notice all the people's disgusted faces The guttural ughs they make as you scramble past You need to focus on not getting stepped on [[And then you're in the bright morning sun]]

And you're still a rat Maybe once you get into your apartment You turn the corner and see a horde of rats going to town on some abandoned pizza crusts You narrow your eyes at them Before you forget you're a rat too "Hey buddy, are you hungry?" one of them asks [[You ignore them and keep heading forward]]

Just a few more blocks and you're sure you'll turn back What if you had stayed in the subway tunnels? You've always wanted to be the kind of person who says yes to things You could have said yes But no This is where we are Running down the street Hoping that once you enter your apartment [[You'll be human again]]

Once you reach your apartment you have to sprint to slip through the front door behind one of your neighbors You hop up flights of stairs Until you're at your door Well obviously you don't have keys So I guess you have to chew through the door You start to scratch at it with your teeth [[That does not taste good]]

You scratch and claw until there's a hole big enough for you to slip through You squeeze yourself inside And you're not a human again You're still a fucking rat Maybe this is what you're meant to be Maybe the world decided you weren't allowed to be a human anymore And then you hear a fierce meow You've heard this sound before But it's never been directed at you You turn and see your cat pouncing towards you If only you could go back and [[Follow]]

"That's what I like to hear! It's a bit tricky to get you out of here when you're that big" the rat explains You consider this Running through the tunnels was not easy And this rat seems to know their way around Maybe this is going to be the perfect solution "So I'm going to need to turn you into a rat" Or not... [["What would that be like?"]]

"Well I..." The rat is picking their words very carefully "It's a bit tricky to get you out of here when you're that big" the rat explains You consider this Running through the tunnels was not easy And this rat seems to know their way around Maybe this is going to be the perfect solution "So I'm going to need to turn you into a rat" Or not... [["What would that be like?"]]

"Well, you would just stand there and I just like transform you. It's really quick, then I have a couple errands to run but after that we'd find an exit together and then I could change you back" The rat explains "So I would actually be a rat? Like you?" "Yes, like me. Just for a day. How does that sound?" [["Okay, sure"]] [[Walk away]] [["Um...I...I'm not sure"]]

The ground grows closer and closer You feel your hands and feet tighten into tiny paws Your skin grows little hairs And whiskers sprout in your face Your human body is gone And now you have this soft small vessel Maybe you should have asked more questions Well you can still do that You turn to the rat and ask [["Am I hallucinating?"]] [["Can I trust you?"]]

The rat thinks for a moment "Well my buddy and I go around and help folks here out, but they left so it's just me now" There's a twinge of something you can't place in their voice [["Help them with what?"]] [["Where they'd go?"]]

"Big things, small things, we just go and check on them and see what they need" The rat answers "So they're all your friends?" You ask "Yeah, sort of, we all live together down here. You know?" You nod but you're not entirely sure you understand You don't even know what your neighbors look like "So you don't know how you ended up here?" the rat asks [["I'm really not sure"]] [["I don't think I want to talk about it"]] [["If I knew I wouldn't tell you"]]

"On an adventure. Don't worry about it" What does that even mean? To go on an adventure It usually means it's dangerous Doesn't it? But you don't ask because it's clear that the rat wants to change the subject "So you don't know how you ended up here?" [["I'm really not sure"]] [["I don't think I want to talk about it"]] [["If I knew I wouldn't tell you"]]

"I moved here a few weeks ago and I'm..." You don't know how to finish that sentence But you feel like you could Like you could just say it The shitty sad truth of it That you're not having a good time But the rat just looks at you And it's clear they understand [["My first errand is just down this way"]]

"That's okay." The rat looks at you and you feel so sure that it is really okay Sometimes people say things are okay and they really don't mean it You look in their eyes and it's clear they think you're weird or quiet or a coward But not this rat [["My first errand is just down this way"]]

You and the rat keep walking along the tracks Then you hear it The sound of a train Fast approaching Out of instinct you find a spot to sit where the train can't slam into you You prepare for impact But then the rat walks over to you with such confusion on their face "What are you doing? We can run along the edge of the track" [["Oh, sorry about that"]] [["But what if we die?"]] [["I'm not doing that"]]

"Alright, take your time!" the pigeon mumbles while their beak is full of your tail What if people catch a glance of your painting and hate it hate it hate it What if What if you hate it You usually hate it The rat yells up a suggestion "What about a self portrait?" You have to paint something if you're going to get out of this situation You paint yourself quickly and without thought </style> <img src=https://i.pinimg.com/originals/17/88/f3/1788f3b8bb325ab9d9743bb319fb7aa2.jpg> </div> "Looking good! Are you ready to come down?" shouts the rat supportively [["Yes I am"]] [["Can I have another minute?"]]

The pigeon brings you back to the ground gently Together you look up at your self portrait "That looks lovely!" the pigeon says "Thanks" you mumble "Truly it does" the pigeon looks at you so intensely "Thank you for trying your best and creating something" says the pigeon [["Time for us to get going" says the rat]]

You look at your work on the wall It's a start The outline is solid but it needs some details to really come alive You use the tip of your paw to add some texture to your fur You make sure your nose and whiskers are defined You widen your scope and start to work on your legs You add your skinny tail and make it stand straight up And when you're done It feels like the most beautiful thing you've ever made </style> <img src=https://i.pinimg.com/originals/bd/68/9f/bd689f04b126678bcf48e1a76564e198.jpg> </div> [["I'm ready now"]]

The pigeon brings you back to the ground gently Together you look up at your self portrait "That looks lovely! I love all the specifics you added to your face" the pigeon says "Yeah I really wanted to capture all the details" you smile back [["Time for us to get going" says the rat]]

"Well now you're definitely lying" the squirrel says as they laugh gently "Just that, yeah you're not supposed to be here" you say back "I know, I'll head back soon. I promise" You look at the squirrel and think about life above ground for these creatures What's it like to be at the mercy of humans and their whims [[The rat approaches with some strips of cloth]]

Oof that came out a lot meaner than you meant it The squirrel seems a bit hurt by the bluntness Really did not have to kick them while they were down "I'm sorry I didn't..." "It's okay. I understand. I should be up there, but I had to look for my friend and their parent. If there was even a chance they could be here. I had to try" You look at the squirrel and think about life above ground for these creatures What's it like to be at the mercy of humans and their whims [[The rat approaches with some strips of cloth]]

"Well, being apart of a community isn't about always being perfect." says the rat "But I'm new and-" The rat cuts you off "I'm really proud of you for trying. We've never had a squirrel at a weekly dinner before and, well it went pretty okay all things considered. Thank you for inviting them and for standing up for them to those cockroaches" Are they really thanking you for this? "Sometimes when you make one mistake it can overpower all the things you did so right. I don't want that to happen to you. Forget about the speech, okay?" You smile "It's already forgotten" "Good. And I have another question for you" There's a glimmer of hope in the rat's eyes "Would you like to stay here with us?" [["Is that a possibility?"]] [["I'm not really sure"]]

"That's not true" You turn away from the rat They're not going to change your mind "I mean, sure, your speech could have gone better." You laugh a little at this "I'm really proud of you for trying. Plus, you defended your decision to the cockroaches. We've never had a squirrel at a weekly dinner before and, well it went pretty okay all things considered" That's probably true "Sometimes when you make one mistake it can overpower all the things you did so right. I don't want that to happen to you. Forget about the speech, okay?" You take a deep breath "Okay" you say quietly "Good. And I have another question for you" There's a glimmer of hope in the rat's eyes "Would you like to stay here with us?" [["Is that a possibility?"]] [["I'm not really sure"]]

You bring your foot up slowly If you're going to do this you have to commit But you can already imagine the noise it will make when you bring your foot down hard and fast And then you're going to have to clean it off you shoe The rat is puzzled at your stance "What are you doing?" they ask [["I uh, was considering killing you"]] [["Nothing"]]

"That is a very honest thing I will try to forget that you said" says the rat You laugh awkwardly The rat shakes and tries to dry themself off You are actually talking to a rat Didn't think things could get weirder The rat takes a long look at you "What are you doing here?" the rat asks [["I don't know"]] [["None of your business"]] [["Why can you talk?"]]

"Alright" says the rat, cautiously You are actually talking to a rat Didn't think things could get weirder The rat takes a long look at you "What are you doing here?" the rat asks [["I don't know"]] [["None of your business"]] [["Why can you talk?"]]

"I don't know. Why can you?" retorts the rat You don't really have anything to say to that "You didn't fall into a radioactive bucket of goo or get trained by a mad scientist?" you ask "Nope!" And then the rat looks at you It's like they can see through you See straight into the parts of you that are scared and confused The rat opens their mouth and gently asks you a question "Can I help you get out of here?" How is this rat going to help you? Well there's one way to find out! [["Sure"]]

"A name? What's that?" "Like what do other rats call you?" The rat looks at you, so confused "You mean humans can't tell each other apart?" "Well, we can but like when you want someone's attention, you say their name" "No, we don't do that here. You just, you just know" Alright, so you learned basically nothing about this rat You ask another question [["What do you do down here?"]]

"Well, I live here, so yes" replies the rat Okay, so we learned something "Never lived on the street?" "Nope, born and bred down here" Down here How funny To be underground You ask another question [["What do you do down here?"]]

"Very funny" says the rat But no one is laughing "Well I..." The rat is picking their words very carefully "It's a bit tricky to get you out of here when you're that big" the rat explains You don't like where this is going "So I'm going to need to turn you into a rat" [["What would that be like?"]]

The rat takes a breath in and looks right into your eyes "I promise it will be okay. I will get you out of here and you'll meet my friends and we will have a nice day." A nice day It's been a while since you've had one of those [["Okay, sure"]] [[Walk away]]

Okay so now you're a rat And that is really weird But maybe it's the kind of weird that will give way to something Something really good Or you're going to die like this Some exterminator will get to you Or you'll get crushed Or you'll actually have a nice day [[Follow]] [[Fuck this! You're getting away from this weird rat]]

"Bad how?" the rat asks kindly How do I describe the dimension of this feeling? "I feel like...I'm really scared" You look into their eyes They radiate warmth "Nothing bad will happen to you here, I won't let it" says the rat There's something about their tone of voice That lets you really believe that [["We're here"]]

Both the rat and the moth look at you like that was the stupidest thing you could have possibly said The moth looks at you intensely and says "You think it's cute that people will happily feed squirrels but want rats dead?" Oh yeah that was not the right thing to say "No I..." The rat interrupts before you dig yourself into a hole "They're new around here, cut them some slack" The moth takes a breath and says "Sorry, I, I'm just stressed" "It's okay" you say The rat starts to walk back down the tunnel and beckons you to follow [["Let's get them back to their swarm"]]

The moth looks at you with such helpless desperation "Really? You know where they are?" Right now, you are providing for someone You are giving them vital information And it feels It feels weird But good? The rat scampers over "What happened to you?" they ask "I thought I heard something in the night, not a train, or a rat or anything familiar. So I wandered off. I wanted to make sure we were safe." "You were just trying to take care of your swarm." "I was being stupid, it was just a squirrel. And once I realized that I had wandered off so far" "They know they're not wanted here." [["I really don't like squirrels"]] [["What's wrong with squirrels?"]] [["Squirrels are so cute"]]

"No...I um...I'm around" you mumble out Why did you say no? "Met them out on the street, wanted to show them the subway way of life" the rat explains "I hope you're liking it so far" Both the moth and the rat look at you with such kindness in their beady little eyes [[We're back]]

"Awkward how?" "Like, I feel like I never know the right thing to say and..." "And what?" "Like when you help people, they're so vulnerable sometimes, like you have this weird power" "I know what you mean, it can feel weird sometimes, but also good" The rat stops and sniffs They head toward the wall, where a small wad of gum sits A dusty pink ball The rat picks it up in its teeth “We need to take a detour” they say Their tone is resigned [[Guilty almost]]

"Yes! I am!" says the pigeon "And you like to make paintings?" "Sometimes! Other times I make sculptures and I believe that conversations are sometimes art. What about you?" "What about me?" "Are you an artist?" "Yeah" you say sheepishly "What kind?" [["A sculptor"]] [["A writer"]] [["A musician"]] [["I'm not sure anymore"]]

"Yeah that's not gonna work" says the rat "I know, just um, give me a second" You take a few deep breaths "Okay" You're a creepy crawly just like them now "Let's do this" [[Together you step forward towards them]]

This is stupid you should just- And then the cockroach speaks "Angry, I think" they say You don't know what you're doing You've never been the best at talking to people You never quite say the right thing [[How do you talk to people? How do you make them feel better?]]

"I don’t know, I just fell into it. I helped some other rats resolve an argument about who found some scrap of food first, and then I couldn’t stop. Anytime I saw someone who needed help, my body would just move to help them" "But it was different for your friend?" you ask without even thinking Something falls over the rat And this time it's clear what it is [[It's utter sadness]]

"At first it seemed like they felt the same. But they just, I think they were over taking care of other people. So they just left" The rat takes a sharp breath out You didn't realize how painful this is for them [["I'm listening"]] [["My bad, let's change the subject"]]

"And their parent was just, incapable of taking care of anything, and I just wanted to make it better and they wouldn't let me. Then they left, without a word. They left a note for their parent, but nothing for me" Without even thinking, you know the right thing to say "I'm so sorry that happened to you. You don't deserve that." You look into the rat's eyes and watch the way your words change them The way they seep into them and bring comfort [[Then you hear the sound of an animal in pain]]

"Okay" says the rat You've had friends in your life But never anyone as close at it seems like the rat was to their friend What would it feel like to lose that? Like a part of yourself breaking off? [[Then you hear the sound of an animal in pain]]

Your words hit the squirrel hard Like a punch in the gut They turn away from you "I know that" they mumble Their words are full of frustration and sadness [[The rat approaches with some strips of cloth]]

"Yeah" says the squirrel They turn away from you a little "I get it" they mumble sadly Do they think you're saying you don't like them? You thought you were getting better at this This talking to people thing Guess not [[The rat approaches with some strips of cloth]]

"Only as long as you'd like, but there's something after dinner I think you'll really want to stick around for" "But what if, what if they don't-" The rat cuts you off and says "Everyone here is very friendly. No snotty squirrels around here" they say as they pat you on the back And then they gently push you forward and says [["Now go chat with some folks!"]]

"Overwhelming how?" You take a breath and try to think of an answer to that question "Just lots of people there, small space" The rat nods and says, "Yeah, I get what you mean" There's a moment of silence, and the rat seems nervous about something "Why did you bring me out here?" you ask "Because I have an important question to ask you" The rat takes a breath in Like they're hoping for something "Would you like to stay down here with us?" [["Is that possible?"]] [["I don't know..."]]

"Only as long as you'd like, but there's something after dinner I think you'll really want to stick around for" "But what if, what if they don't-" The rat cuts you off and says "Everyone here is very friendly" they say as they pat you on the back And then they gently push you forward and says "Now go mingle before we eat" [[Chat with the pigeon]] [[Chat with the cockroach]]

"Fine by me!" says the pigeon You knew they would be okay with this "So what brings you down here?" asks the pigeon “I’d gotten myself into a bit of a pickle looking for some friends. Thank you for having me here.” explains the squirrel “Of course darling, it’s been a long time since I’ve gotten to chat with a squirrel! I had an old friend who mostly hung out in Bryant park. They had this streak of gray in their tail, and they’d let me use it like a paintbrush.” “Really? The squirrel asks “Have you seen them at all down here? Or a squirrel that looks like them?” “No I haven’t, why?” “That’s how I got so turned around and ended up in the tunnels, I was looking for your old friend and their kid. I’m usually up in Bryant park too.” “No kidding. Well I’m sorry to hear they’re lost.” “Yeah, me too” “But I’ll tell the others to keep an eye out, we’ll do everything we can to get them home to you, okay?” “That means a lot, thank you” “So, my new rat friend, are you planning on staying long?” [["No, I’m heading out soon"]] [["Thinking about it"]]

"I don't really care, but I can't speak for everyone" responds the cockroach There's a moment of silence that is maybe awkward? Did you both bring something for the potluck?” asks the cockroach “Yeah” Now the cockroach seems embarrassed They speak “Thanks for, thanks for giving a shit about me” The vulnerability in the cockroach's cool guy demeanor stuns you for a second And then you speak "The rat I was with did the same thing for me" “Yeah?” asks the cockroach “Yeah, they’ve been reminding me of some things I forgot” “Like what?” [["That I can make real connections"]] [["That you need to trust in the goodness of others"]]

But the squirrel has already heard everything "Good choice" says a cockroach Before you can say anything, you see the squirrel, with the biggest saddest eyes you've ever seen, heading for the crack in the wall They duck through it And they're gone The rat places a paw on your back And leads you to a seat by the head of the table [[And then the feasting starts]]

There's silence for a long moment And then one cockroach starts to speak "You don't understand! They get everything! Food from humans! Safety! And we're stuck fighting to stay alive!" Then another cockroach steps in "Calm down, it's not worth it. Let's get out of here." The cockroaches start to stream out of the crack in the wall You see the cockroach you helped head out with them too The rat places a paw on your back And leads you and the squirrel to seats by the head of the table [[Then the feasting begins]]

The cockroaches just stare at you in silence "See, you can't even think of a reason for inviting them here" You try to open your mouth to speak but it just stays shut A few of the cockroaches laugh at you as they take their seats The squirrel turns to you, with big sad eyes, and says "I think that's my cue to go" "No, stay, I'm sorry" you mutter But they've made up their mind They duck through the crack in the wall And they're gone The rat places a paw on your back And leads you to a seat by the head of the table [[And then the feasting starts]]

There's silence for a long moment And then one cockroach starts to speak "You don't understand! They get everything! Food from humans! Safety! And we're stuck fighting to stay alive!" And then the cockroach you helped today chimes in "But that's not this individual squirrel's fault, we shouldn't punish them for what the humans do" The first angry cockroach leads a section of their group outside But a portion of them stay, and find their seats The rat places a paw on your back And leads you and the squirrel to seats by the head of the table [[Then the feasting starts]]

Folks are passing the food around And it all feels So good To be sitting at this table Full of souls Full of creatures who care about each other Who could care about you [[If you choose to stay]]

"Do you want another chance?" asks the rat "A chance to what?" "To talk about why you brought the squirrel here tonight" Do you? You can't forget the big sad eyes of the squirrel as they slinked away But you also can't shake the sense that you're overstepping [["Yes, I want another chance"]] [["No, let's just leave it"]]

The rat's voice rises above the chomping and chatting of the table “My new friend has something they would like to say” As the rat speaks they nod at you You rise and choose your words "I do know why I invited that squirrel here today. Today, I met someone who convinced me that I need to be more open to connecting with others. They spent all of today talking to me and introducing me to their friends, and I guess I just wanted to show them that I listened, that I want to connect now. And I'm sorry if it made any of you uncomfortable, but I'm not sorry I did it" [[The sound of gentle clapping fills the room]]

The rat nods at you, stands up, and then lifts a piece of food “To my new friend. Thank you for your bravery, your trust, and your kindness. No matter what happens next, I hope you will always remember the warmth you brought to this community. And to me.” Everyone lifts up a piece of their meal and smiles And you feel a joyful tingle run through your body Even though you messed everything up with the squirrel Truly nothing could ruin this feeling The feeling of having made something beautiful out of something that felt like it was going to be so ugly [[The feeling of creating the start of a home]]

Everyone rises and grooves joyously The pigeon bobs back and forth The cockroaches zig and zag around each other The flies zoom around to the beat And you and the rat and the squirrel wiggle and laugh and dance When that song ends the moths start on another And another and another And when they’re finally done [[The rat asks you to go on a walk]]

The two of you slip out of the hole and into the tunnel The air out here is colder than inside And it feels jarring "So, how'd you like your first family dinner?" [["I feel like I really messed things up with the squirrel"]] [["It was nice but it made me feel sad"]]

The two of you slip out the hole and into the tunnel The air out here is colder than inside And it feels jarring "So, how'd you like your first family dinner?" [["I feel bad about how things went with the squirrel"]] [["It was lovely but it made me feel sad"]]

"Well, being apart of a community isn't about always being perfect." says the rat "But I just let them leave and-" The rat cuts you off "I'm really proud of you for trying. We've never had a squirrel at a weekly dinner before and, even having them here for a little bit is progress. You pushed me to notice that I was being unfair. Thank you for that." Are they really thanking you for this? "And then you did what you could to fix it. Your speech was really nice. So just try your best to forget about it and remember everything you did right" You smile "It's already forgotten" "Good. And I have another question for you" There's a glimmer of hope in the rat's eyes "Would you like to stay here with us?" [["That's possible?"]] [["I'm not sure"]]

"Well, being apart of a community isn't about always being perfect." says the rat "But I just let them leave and-" The rat cuts you off "I'm really proud of you for trying. We've never had a squirrel at a weekly dinner before and, even having them here for a little bit is progress. You pushed me to notice that I was being unfair. Thank you for that." Are they really thanking you for this? "But then I didn't stand up for them. I wish I could be the kind of person that's capable of doing things like that, but I'm not." "You could be that kind of person, starting now" You both sit there for a moment Then the rat speaks "I have a question for you" There's a glimmer of hope in the rat's eyes "Would you like to stay here with us?" [["That's possible?"]] [["I'm not sure"]]

The rat stops and looks at you "Look, if this is gonna be a nice day, we need to be kind to each other. You don't have to tell me, but don't be mean." You feel embarrassed now You didn't mean it like that Or did you? "I'm sorry. You're right" you say quickly [["My first errand is just down this way"]]

"Just avoid the inner part of the tracks, you can run alongside the outer edge no problem" You nod and try to imagine your tiny fuzzy body doing that "You ready?" the rat asks "As I'll ever be!" The train is coming and this time it doesn't feel like it's going to kill you As you're running, the train whizzes past It feels really nice To be running with someone by your side The rat turns around and smiles at you Which is a surprise, because you didn't think rats could do that "How're you feeling?" the rat asks [["Good!"]] [["Overwhelmed"]] [["Bad"]]

You walk down the tracks a while but then the rat stops and slips away You follow the rat through a crack in the walls Inside you see a very very old rat Surrounded by an impossibly large collection of chewed gum It covers the walls, the ground The rat is wrinkly and large and has terribly sad eyes Sad eyes that light up for just a moment “Is that…” the old rat trails off The rat quickly apologizes and explains “No, this is my new friend” Embarrassed, the old rat loses the brightness [[“Who did you think I was?”]] [[“I think we brought you something”]]

The old rat shrinks at this question But rat answers it “You look a bit like my old friend who left on an adventure, this is their parent” The old rat flinches at this explanation, and the rat changes the subject “Well anyways, I brought you some more gum” The rat places the ball in front of the old rat “Oh thank you!” [[You watch them chew fervently]]

The rat places the ball in front of the old rat “Oh thank you! It’s so nice that you help me expand my collection” You look around at the gum that drips from every surface There’s green, red, orange, and an overwhelming amount of pink The old rat takes the gift into their cheeks [[You watch them chew fervently]]

The old rat can't seem to figure out the flavor of the gum “It’s a fruit flavor… strawberry maybe, no not that… it's more complex than that” [[“Pomegranate?”]] [[“Fruit punch?”]] [[“Classic bubble gum?”]]

“That’s it! Seems like someone’s a gum connoisseur” You blush a little and say “I don’t know about that” There’s a pleasant silence for a minute, but the old rat cuts through it “It’s nice when you come by, reminds me of them” The rat tenses, but smiles kindly and says “I’m glad” The old rat just keeps talking, without noticing the way the rats mouth is pulling tighter and tighter “Sometimes I just think about how stupid it was, to leave us behind” And with that, your rat friend is done masking their feelings with politeness [[It's scary to watch their gentle demeanor shatter]]

“You think that I don’t know what classic bubble gum tastes like?” The old rat gestures to their gum covered hideout There’s a pleasant silence for a minute, but the old rat cuts through it “It’s nice when you come by, reminds me of them” The rat tenses, but smiles kindly and says “I’m glad” The old rat just keeps talking, without noticing the way the rats mouth is pulling tighter and tighter “Sometimes I just think about how stupid it was, to leave us behind” And with that, your rat friend is done masking their feelings with politeness [[It's scary to watch their gentle demeanor shatter]]

Once you’re back on the tracks the rat stops They just sit there and breathe deeply Long hard breaths You know the kind You should do something [[“Are you okay?”]] [[“What was up with all that gum?”]]

“I don’t know. It’s been a while since they left but it’s still hard. Especially hard to visit them.” “That makes sense” “Sometimes I’m not sure whose more to blame for my friend leaving, me or their parent” You nod and place a paw on the rat’s back Maybe this is what it is to help people Just to sit and listen Just to be there The rat lets out a sigh, and the heaviness of this conversation leaves their body [[“Let’s go, there’s someone I really want you to meet”]]

“I don’t even know” says the rat as they let out a little laugh “My friend didn’t either, but they always had to bring back some gum or they wouldn’t be allowed to leave again” “Wow, that’s…” The rat finishes your sentence for you “Messed up?” “Yeah” you agree “Sometimes I’m not sure whose more to blame for my friend leaving, me or their parent” You nod and place a paw on the rat’s back Maybe this is what it is to help people Just to sit and listen Just to be there The rat lets out a sigh, and the heaviness of this conversation leaves their body [[“Let’s go, there’s someone I really want you to meet”]]

You head down the tunnel There are some of those empty illuminated spaces The kind that are begging to be filled with something Coming up on your right, you see a pigeon squeezing a packet of ketchup into an old ramen noodle cup [["Nice to see you! Who's your friend?" asks the pigeon]]

“Let me show you something” The rat scurries down the tunnel towards a skinny crack in the wall Once you catch up and peer through the crack you see it’s crammed with candy There are half eaten jolly ranchers and lollipops You see stretched out laffy taffy, nibbled on candy corn and piles of skittles “Please help yourself. This stuff keeps really well, it’s great to…” The rat trails off “There used to be jelly beans in that crevice and a twizzler right by the entrance” The rat starts to sniff the ground “If they took it, doesn’t that mean they really need it?” you ask “If they knew me they would just ask, they know I’m always willing to share. If I don’t know someone and they’re down here that means- “You think it’s a squirrel” The rat looks at you and says [[“I know it’s a squirrel”]]

“Well, I could use a snack” The rat scurries down the tunnel towards a skinny crack in the wall Once you catch up and peer through the crack you see it’s crammed with candy There are half eaten jolly ranchers and lollipops You see stretched out laffy taffy, nibbled on candy corn and piles of skittles You watch the rat gobble down an unwrapped tootsie roll “This stuff keeps really well, it’s really great to…” The rat trails off “There used to be jelly beans in that crevice and a twizzler right by the entrance” The rat starts to sniff the ground “If they took it, doesn’t that mean they really need it?” you ask “If they knew me they would just ask, they know I’m always willing to share. If I don’t know someone and they’re down here that means- “You think it’s a squirrel” The rat looks at you and says [[“I know it’s a squirrel”]]

The rat starts to scutter down the tunnel In the distance you see something It’s a squirrel The squirrel is searching for something [[“I think they’re looking for something”]] [[Say nothing]] [["Give them a piece of your mind"]]

“Sure, something to steal” You put your paw on the rat You're trying to pick out the perfect words You're racking your brain for them "Can we just ask them why they're here? Before we do anything else?" The rat sighs and nods [[You both approach the squirrel]]

You watch the anger grow behind the rat’s eyes “I’m gonna make sure that Squirrel knows they're not welcome here” The rat walks with purpose towards the concerned squirrel [[You walk a few steps behind]]

As the squirrel turns to you and the rat, they have such a look of fear on their face “What are you doing here?” asks the rat “I was, I was looking for someone I’m sorry, I’ll leave right-” You cut them off “Who are you looking for?” “An older squirrel with a streak of gray in their tail and a younger squirrel. If you see them, can you tell them to come home?” The rat nods gently “I’ll leave now” [[The squirrel sprints down the tunnel]]

"Let's keep moving" says the rat You trail behind "And thank you, for checking me like that" says the rat You stand stunned for a second The rat is thanking you? "Sometimes I get stuck in the way I do things, I need to work on that" "Yeah, no problem" you say Soon you hear a sound that sends shivers down your spine But you can't describe it And then you see it A whole horde of cockroaches You start to back away The rat turns [["What are you doing?"]]

"You need to leave” says the rat The squirrels eyes cast down and they consider explaining themselves But the rat doesn’t let them “I know you stole from my stash and you don't want to see what I do to thieves. You need to leave now.” Seeing the rat like this It’s scary The way the kindness drains from their voice [[The squirrel runs down the tunnel]]

As you move your pen across the flyer You feel something light up Deep within your chest </style> <img src=https://i.pinimg.com/originals/cd/8a/1b/cd8a1b2f590fc5cdd7d5c7166e332335.jpg> </div> Once you're done with the drawing You run your fingers over it, smiling to yourself And wipe a tear from your eye THE END [[Credits]]

As you move your pen across the flyer You feel something light up Deep within your chest Once you're done writing the first stanza You run your fingers over it, smiling to yourself And wipe a tear from your eye THE END [[Credits]]

As you move your pen across the flyer You feel something light up Deep within your chest Once you're done with what feels like the chorus You run your fingers over it, smiling to yourself And wipe a tear from your eye THE END [[Credits]]

"Suit yourself" says the rat You watch them take off Their little legs moving quickly You can't lose them Without them you can't even think about what will happen You legs start to move without your permission The train is coming and this time it doesn't feel like it's going to kill you As you're running, the train whizzes past It feels really nice To be running with someone by your side As you catch up with the rat they turn around and smile at you Which is a surprise, because you didn't think rats could do that "How're you feeling?" the rat asks [["Good!"]] [["Overwhelmed"]] [["Bad"]]

Both the moth and rat nod at you when you say this "Squirrels are cute and loved by humans and we're just vermin to them" the rat mutters The moth smiles sympathetically The rat shakes off their frustration and speaks [["Let's get them back to their swarm"]]

The rat smiles at you with something new in their eyes Something that feels like camaraderie "I'm so glad that you get it" says the rat [[Together you approach the squirrel]]

As the squirrel turns to you and the rat, they have such a look of fear on their face "You are not welcome here and you need to leave right now" says the rat with such malice in their voice "But I was-" You cut them off "Leave right now" [[The squirrel runs so fast down the tunnel]]

"Let's keep moving" says the rat You trail behind Trying to understand how the rat could be so generous with everyone else But so angry at a whole species Soon you hear a sound that sends shivers down your spine But you can't describe it And then you see it A whole horde of cockroaches You start to back away The rat turns [["What are you doing?"]]

"Let's keep moving" says the rat It feels good to stand beside the rat like this Even if you did just act like jerks to that squirrel It felt good to be united with someone Soon you hear a sound that sends shivers down your spine But you can't describe it And then you see it A whole horde of cockroaches You start to back away The rat turns [["What are you doing?"]]

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry" the squirrel mutters over and over again "It's alright" says the rat "I know I shouldn't be here. That it's your turf. I was just trying to leave and I stepped on glass and I..." "You stay here, I'll be back with some supplies" says the rat You watch the rat go When someone, anyone needs help They just help Instantly You turn around and look the squirrel up and down Squirrels are pretty similar to rats Just fluffier "Are you mad at me?" the squirrel asks [["No. Just relax"]] [["No, I'm new around here. I don't really understand this whole thing"]] [["You shouldn't be here"]]

You try and match the anger you've heard in the rat's voice whenever they talk about squirrels But then you feel a paw on your back "They're injured" says the rat "But what about before?" you ask "They need help. I'll be back with some supplies" You turn back to the squirrel There is so much fear in their eyes "I'm sorry" They say as they look down at their bloody paw You look the squirrel up and down Squirrels are pretty similar to rats Just fluffier "Are you mad at me?" the squirrel asks [["No. Just relax"]] [["No, I'm new around here. I don't really understand this whole thing"]] [["You shouldn't be here"]]

"Can I head back in and let them know I'm staying?" you ask "Wait" says the rat "What you did tonight made me realize something. Sometimes I think I always know the best way to help people, but that's not always true. Maybe my friend left because I wasn't the one to help them, my way wouldn't work. They had to go find their own way. I have to let them go" Tears are streaming down the rat's face You embrace them tightly and fiercely You feel their fuzzy body in your arms And you feel them relax into you What a feeling that is To be trusted by someone like this They let go, wipe their tears and start to speak "Let's go tell everyone the good news" [[Together, you go back into the party]]

"I have an announcement to make!" yells the rat Everyone turns from their chatting and merriment to look at you and the rat "Our new friend will be staying with us! I know they will continue to encourage our community to grow and I can't wait to see what we do together" The mass of creatures cheers in buzzes and yelps and squeals The rat holds up a hand to indicate they aren't done speaking yet "I also wanted to apologize for something. I'm sorry for my role in the anti squirrel sentiment down here. I've been harsh, and I was wrong to treat them like that. I vow to be kinder to the squirrels that cross my path, and I hope you'll all join me in that" There's loud pounding clapping after that "Is there anything you would like to say to everyone?" [["Thank you for welcoming me into your world"]]

"Folks, I have an announcement" Everyone turns from their chatting and merriment to look at you and the rat "Our new friend will be heading up to the surface, but before they do, I want to speak to you all about something" The rat takes a breath "I'm sorry for my role in the anti squirrel sentiment down here, I've been harsh, and I was wrong to treat them like that. I vow to be kinder to the squirrels that cross my path, and I hope you'll all join me in that" There's loud pounding clapping after that "Would you like to say anything?" the rat asks [["No, I don't think so"]] [["Yeah, I want to"]]

"Sometimes I think I always know the best way to help people, but that's not always true. Maybe my friend left because I wasn't the one to help them, my way wouldn't work. They had to go find their own way. And that's what you're doing now." Tears are streaming down the rat's face "You are so capable, and I never ever want you to forget. Promise you won't?" "I'll try" you say "I guess that's a big thing to promise, just promise me that when you start to forget, you'll remember that we’re right underneath your feet. Rooting for you." Just as you start to feel liquid prick at your eyes, you speak [["I think I'm ready"]]

Folks are passing the food around And it all feels So good To be sitting at this table Full of souls Full of creatures who care about each other Who could care about you [[If only it was possible to stay]]

Suddenly, the rat speaks Their voice rises above the chomping and chatting of the table “My new friend has something they would like to say” As the rat speaks they nod at you You rise and choose your words [["Thank you for having myself and my friend the squirrel here for dinner..."]] [["Thanks for having me here tonight..."]]

"I know there’s history I don’t fully understand between the squirrels and the folks that live in the tunnels. But when I came across someone who needed some help and a good meal, I immediately extended the invitation. I truly apologize if I made any of you uncomfortable." This feels like it's going okay! "This morning, I made a new friend who changed my life. They picked me out of the subway's mouth and showed me that there is another way to move through this life. That we can have days full of generosity and light. And when I saw this squirrel, I just couldn’t help but do that." You feel something stirring in your eyes But you wipe it away "So, thank you to all of you, for welcoming me into your world." [[Once you're done, the sound of gentle clapping fills the room]]

You sit back down, and the rat smiles and lifts a piece of food up “To my new friend. Thank you for your bravery, your trust, and your kindness. No matter what happens next, I hope you will always remember the warmth you brought to this community. And to me.” Everyone lifts up a piece of their meal and smiles And you feel a joyful tingle run through your body Even though you just messed up that speech so bad You feel apart of something big and wide and kind Truly nothing could ruin this feeling The feeling of having made something beautiful out of something that felt like it was going to be so ugly [[The feeling of creating the beginning of a home]]

You sit back down, and the rat smiles and lifts a piece of food up “To my new friend. Thank you for your bravery, your trust, and your kindness. No matter what happens next, I hope you will always remember the warmth you brought to this community. And to me.” Everyone lifts up a piece of their meal and smiles And you feel a joyful tingle run through your body Even though you just messed up that speech so bad You feel apart of something big and wide and kind Truly nothing could ruin this feeling The feeling of having made something beautiful out of something that felt like it was going to be so ugly [[The feeling of building a new home]]

Everyone rises and grooves joyously The remaining cockroaches zig and zag around each other laughing The pigeon bobs back and forth The flies zoom around to the beat And you and the rat and the squirrel wiggle and laugh and dance When that song ends the moths start on another And another and another And when they’re finally done [[The rat asks you to take a walk]]

“Not quite…maybe it’s a mix of flavors” There’s a pleasant silence for a minute, but the old rat cuts through it “It’s nice when you come by, reminds me of them” The rat tenses, but smiles kindly and says “I’m glad” The old rat just keeps talking, without noticing the way the rats mouth is pulling tighter and tighter “Sometimes I just think about how stupid it was, to leave us behind” And with that, your rat friend is done masking their feelings with politeness [[It's scary to watch their gentle demeanor shatter]]

</style> <img src=https://i.pinimg.com/originals/80/97/3b/80973b753d3da509a2e47233adc98ee7.jpg> </div> [[Begin]]

You rattle awake with a screech that scrapes the insides of your ears It's so endlessly dark The sound of your breathing The sound of your heart beating [[Where are you?]]

"Sure, what of?" you ask "How about my new friend?" The pigeon dips you back down into the yellow You paint and paint You use the tip of your paw to add some texture to your fur You make sure your nose and whiskers are defined And then you're done </style> <img src=https://i.pinimg.com/originals/bd/68/9f/bd689f04b126678bcf48e1a76564e198.jpg> </div> "It's beautiful!" The rat yells up The pigeon brings you back down [["Time for us to get going" says the rat]]

"It really does look amazing" the rat assures you The pigeon nods in agreement And for the first time in a long time You're not sure you need it Your silly weird drawing doesn't hurt to look at In fact It does look amazing [["Time for us to get going" says the rat]]

You paint and paint and paint And then you've done it </style> <img src=https://i.pinimg.com/originals/cd/1d/f0/cd1df02ad153303b85f27ede8923a99a.jpg> </div> "How cute! Have it in you to do another?" The pigeon asks [["Yeah!"]] [["I'm all painted out"]]

"No worries! I've been showered with many more unpleasant liquids before" This makes you laugh a little before you realize The rat is actually talking You are actually talking to a rat Didn't think things could get weirder The rat takes a long look at you "What are you doing here?" the rat asks [["I don't know"]] [["None of your business"]] [["Why can you talk?"]]

“You don’t know what happened once they got to the surface, they could be alive and having a-" The old rat cuts through with fierceness and says “A parent knows these things, feels them” The rat lets out a frustrated sigh, the kind you release when you know there's no changing someone's mind Then the rat asks the question you sense they always ask at the end of these visits “Anything else you need?” The old rat shakes their head The rat leaves quickly [[And so do you]]

Thank you so much for playing! Created and written by Isabelle Smith Art by Erin Gray Special thanks to all my playtesters: Mason Smith, Sarah Schecter, Tommy Gray, Jacob Menke, Ryan Stevens, Lillian Mottern, Sara Bellusci, Andrew Tye, Stella Delgado, Robin Smith, Bridey Caramagno, Corven Sena and Erin Gray