we'll become our own gods

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= (text-style:"sway")[Who are you?] you open your eyes <span style="font-size: 11px">//(they reflect galaxies and stars that you have yet to meet, that you have known since your kitting)//</span> to the comforting wrap of darkness, swaths of tiny silver lights overhead forming the silverpelt. you are - [[Approaching your 6th Moon]] ▐ [["Moonsight."]] ▐ [[in pain]]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX==")[= (text-style:"italic","blur","expand","sway")[Only an apprentice forsaken by your Clan. Your Family? Where do you Belong?] that's right, that's right. in three dawns, it will be your sixth moon. you're going to be an apprentice! excitement courses through you like a current, your paws trembling against the ground with anticipation. (text-colour:#ff009b)[(text-style:"italic","subscript","smear","rumble")[the earth trembles beneath you, pieces of rock and dirt swaying and breaking themselves into bits at your unconscious command. they float around your paws, rearranging themselves into a crown before falling back to the earth, crumbling back to dust when their joy for your has been spent.]] you've spent so long known as (css:"font-size: 15px")[(text-style:"wavy-strike","blurrier","condense","upside-down","fade-in-out")[moonkit]] // (align:"=><=")+(box:"=========XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=")[(thinking about it hurts your head, fills your mind with static - an impossible to parse query.)]// that you can hardly wait to receive your naming ceremony, to finally be useful to your clan. you want to be [[well liked]] ▐ [[accepted]] ▐ [[healed]]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= (text-style:"italic","blur","sway")[Forsaken. Forsaker.] ''your'' name is ~~^^currently^^~~ (text-style:"buoy")[ (align:"=><=")+(box:"=X")[Moonsight.]] it's been (css:"font-size:20px")[(text-colour:#ff009b)[(text-style:"italic","superscript","smear","condense","flat","fade-in-out")[oh, starclan, how many? how many moons, how much time between the day of reckoning and the day i eagerly accepted the name of moonpaw? how much longer do i have to endure?]]] (css:"font-size:11px")[(text-rotate-x:22)+(text-rotate-y:14)+(text-rotate-z:341)[some time, unknowable time, you have]] lost track of how many moons it has been since your warrior [[ceremony]]. you're under trial, now. you stare into the reflection of the moonpool, watching the silverpelt (text-style:"flat","sway")[warp and shift ]under the ripples of the water (align:"=><=")+(box:"===XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX=======")[(it reminds you of what you can do, should you so choose to)] as you await your audience with starclan. you are here to be judged, for [[your gift]] ▐ [[your crime]]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= (text-colour:#ff009b)[(text-style:"italic","superscript","smear","condense","flat","fade-in-out")[how did i get here, oh, gods, it hurts so much. it hurts so much, it's like-- ]] (text-style:"italic","smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)[it's like every fiber of my being is being twisted, i can see into the past and future and past and future and future and past and past and future and past and past and future and present? and tomorrow and the next day and never has been and why does it hurt, i don't want it to hurt, i can't focus, i have to focus please help me focus, i can't do this anymore, they can't keep hurting me, who are they to let me be caged? all i've ever wanted was to be (loved) to be (accepted) i just wanted to be a good Warrior i can't let them win please help me] [[How?]]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= (text-style:"italic","blurrier","sway")[Hated. Feared. Reviled. One of many things you can never have, isn't it?] - liked by your clan, desperately. all you want is to be loved, to be cared about, to feel like the other cats would care if you disappeared or got injured. your mother died a few moons after you were kitted, in (text-style:"subscript","blurrier","fade-in-out")[can't you remember? or do you simply not want to?] an incident that nobody will talk about, something you don't remember. you wonder if that's why everyone hates you - a living reminder of some kind of tragedy that seems to have traumatized so many of the clan. you never wanted this. you love your clan so much, from the kits you grew up with to the deputy of the clan and his clumsy, but loveable way of organizing hunts and patrols to keep the clan safe. all you wanted was to be liked and loved, cared about, valued. you shut your eyes tightly against the sadness squeezing around your heart. (text-colour:#ff009b)+(text-style:"italic","smear","buoy")[this is the third time your emotions overflow like a cup, thunderous as a waterfall, and reality bends at your paws to please you. when you open your eyes again, it is the day of your apprentice (text-colour:magenta)[[ceremony]] ].

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= (text-style:"italic","blurrier","sway")[Once an outcast, always an outcast. Do you really need Their acceptance?] - to be accepted by your clan, more than anything. you don't understand why they fear you, why so many of your clanmates look at you with fear or vitrole in their eyes. you are not vile. you're sad, and alone, desperately doing everything in your favor to prove you're a loyal warrior worthy of being treated as such. you don't understand - the only thing that sets you apart is your orphan status. your mother died a few moons after you were kitted, in an incident, (text-style:"subscript","blurrier","fade-in-out")[does a part of you know? or is that lost to the Cycles?] that you cannot remember, but you know nothing was ever the same after that. (in your sleep, sometimes you recall the smell of smoke and fire. there's fire damage repaired in the nursery. you wonder if the nursery caught on fire, but you don't understand ^^(text-colour:#ff009b)[yet]^^ what that could possibly have to do with you.) all you want is to be treated like you're normal, like you have value and worth and belong within the clan. you follow the warrior code to a T and you try very hard to practice your fighting and hunting skills, to protect your clan and make (text-style:"smear","condense","fidget")+(text-colour:#c70000)[sedgestar] proud. you shut your eyes tightly against the aching of your heart, the desperation and loneliness pulsing throughout your body. (text-colour:#ff009b)+(text-style:"italic","smear","buoy")[this is the third time your emotions overflow like a cup, thunderous as a waterfall, and reality bends at your paws to please you. when you open your eyes again, it is the day of your apprentice (text-colour:magenta)[[ceremony]] ].

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= (text-style:"italic","smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)[oh, stars, i need help it hurts so bad the only one who can heal me is myself the power is within they cannot bind me anymore please heal me you.] [[Me?]]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= (text-style:"italic","blurrier","sway")[Star-shaper. Destroyer. Creator.] the first time you discover the power within your paws consciously is during your first hunt after the ceremony. your mentor, (text-style:"subscript","smear","condense","mirror","fade-in-out")[[Dovestep]] ▐ (text-style:"subscript","smear","condense","mirror","fade-in-out")[[Thistlefang]],

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= (text-style:"italic","smear","shudder")+(text-colour:#ff009b)[I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG] (text-style:"italic","blur","sway")[The shaper, the forsaken, the gifted, the very first to hold the power of the stars in their paws.] you sit in silence, waiting for your summon to speak with starclan as the medicine cat, shinepuddle, glares at you from their spot next to the moonpool. ensuring you can't flee into exile without judgement, of course. you know what you're being judged for. your crimes, your gift - your //power//. the power you've had since you were kitted, only learned to shape and wield and mould the fabrics of reality to your whims recently. when you were only three moons old, (text-style:"blur")[so you remember?] the nursery caught fire around you. it killed your mother, it killed many of the queens, and it started at your paws because one of the warriors assigned by (text-style:"smear","condense","fidget")+(text-colour:#c70000)[Sedgestar] to guard the nursery was belittling her. was making her sad. made her cry. you did not control it. it terrified you so much, you repressed it. but it was the omen for the clan of what you could do. a cat who could shape reality in their paws. a cat with a power beyond the stars, able to edit reality and create their own interpretations of it at will, to see into the Alternates, to craft so lovingly and fix their life. it was during your warrior ceremony that you used your gift in front of the clan, not just out of sight to cheat your apprentices' duties or protect borders when nobody was around. you thought it was a simple gift, something that would bring joy to everybody - your warrior name was earned after a battle with a rival clan, in which - [[the highledge broke.]] ▐ [[the warriors' den was struck by lightning.]]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= (text-style:"italic","blur","sway")[Are you an Apprentice? A Warrior? Or neither?] you sit nervously below the stone ledge, the overhang from the highest point in camp as (text-style:"smear","condense","fidget")+(text-colour:#c70000)[sedgestar] slowly and languidly walks along it, sitting down and wrapping his tail around his back legs leisurely as he surveys the clan below. the rest of your clanmates' eyes are upon your back as you stare up at your leader, tail swishing nervously. (align:"=><=")+(box:"XXXXXXXXX=")["Cats of Nettleclan, welcome."] his voice is powerful, calm yet with the effect of thunder; the whispers of your clanmates die down instantly as he speaks. "Today, we are gathered here to name this cat in the eyes of Starclan, to welcome another proud clanmate to ensure the success and safety of our beloved clan." the murmurs start up again, and you do your very best to ignore them, aware that they're likely more malicious than encouraging. nothing will ruin this day for you. you won't let it. "I call upon our warrior ancestors in Starclan to witness this ceremony," (text-style:"smear","condense","fidget")+(text-colour:#c70000)[sedgestar] announces, sweeping his tail out once to the entire clan. "as I say these words before them, that this cat will henceforth be known as-" (css:"font-size: 22px")+(text-style:"smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)[["Moonsight."]] ▐ (css:"font-size: 22px")+(text-style:"smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)[["Moonpaw."]]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= (text-style:"italic","blurrier","sway")[Is that so?] - regards you with contempt as (text-style:"smear","condense","fidget")+(text-colour:#c70000)[Sedgestar] orders him to take you on a hunt, after a quarter-moon of him forcing you to do menial apprentice tasks around camp. you know he never wanted an apprentice. you've known this forever, as if it was already foretold before you were even kitted. and yet (text-style:"smear","condense","fidget")+(text-colour:#c70000)[sedgestar] assigns you to him, as if to mock you. (align:"<==")+(box:"=======XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX===")["Moonpaw! You're coming with me on a hunt,"] he spits at you, already bounding towards the camp exit as you scramble to your paws as fast as you can and sprint after him, adrenaline filling your veins. "You better keep up, runt." you're so scared of failing this, knowing what it could mean for you; it would be the end of you ever becoming a warrior. at least under thistlefang, it would. so as you crouch low into the forest floor, nervously flexing your claws into the dirt, feeling the earth under your paws like a thrum, you feel every muscle in your small body tremble while you watch the jay merrily sing its song amid the tree branches a few leaps in front of you, clueless to your prescense. thistlefang did not teach you the basics of hunting. he is forcing you into a challenge you have no chance of succeeding. this is where you first learn of your (text-colour:#ff009b)[gift.] you're as ready as you'll ever be as you shakily inhale one last breath and tense your back leg muscles, springing into the air towards the jay with claws extended; (text-colour:#ff009b)[(text-style:"italic","superscript","blur","buoy")[your form is terrible, looking upon it, but of course you weren't ever meant to have one.]] time slows to a crawl as you realize he's going to fly away, miss your claws by a few inches, and you feel despair welling up in your soul as something gives way. (text-colour:#ff009b)[(text-style:"smear","expand","tall","buoy")[the world warps around your paws as you concentrate, although a bit unconsciously, all of your despair and terror into the space between you and the branch. the trees sway and twist unnaturally as the branches grow within seconds, within stopped time, trapping the jay within it's gilded cage and coming to meet you like an old friend. the jay's song sounds like a twisted lament in slow motion.]] you catch the jay within your paws and teeth and effortlessly bring it a fraction of peace, calming it's terror from the brief trauma of the world itself bending to swiftly end its life. thistlefang is nonplussed when you return with the jay in your mouth, tail held high with pride. you hope this is enough to be [[well liked]] by him.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= (text-style:"italic","blurrier","sway")[Is that so?] - is bringing you on your first hunt after hesitantly teaching you the basics within the sandplace at camp, clearly still unsettled by you. (text-style:"smear","condense","fidget")+(text-colour:#c70000)[Sedgestar] had high hopes for her as your mentor, with her patience being almost legendary among the camp - too bad he seemed to pick her exclusively as if to mock you, because of all the warriors who did their best to avoid you from the start, dovestep was the queen of it. she regards you as if you're a dangerous, unpredictable //thing//, and you don't know why. you've never known why you're treated as such an outcast - so what, your mother is gone? it's not like you're the first orphaned kit in the clan. so as you drop into a hunting crouch, tail up and half bent to slowly stalk the field mouse minding it's own business, you desperately hope that today will clear the air once and for all with your mentor. all you want is a normal mentor and apprentice relationship, for her to praise your hunting skills (you've been practicing at night so often, desperate to ace this test). time slows to a crawl as your back legs tense and spring, already realizing that your stance had been off by just a few inches, your paws coming down just a bit short of the mouse, and desperation fills your veins as something within you gives way. (text-colour:#ff009b)+(text-style:"smear","expand","tall","buoy")[the ground shifts underneath your paws, as you focus for the first time all of your desperation and loneliness into them; the ground in front of the poor mouse raises up impossibly tall, forming a box around him. you pounce again with a speed that cannot exist in your world and swiftly bring an end to your very first fresh-kill.] you bounce back to dovestep with your tail held high, dropping the mouse at her paws - the first of an impossible amount of fresh kill you would bring back that day, totalling over 9 prey. you miss her terrified stare as you bounce back into the forest, naively hoping this will be enough to be [[accepted]] by her.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= (text-style:"mirror")["Moonpaw."] you exhale a breath you didn't even know you were holding, as you wait to hear your mentor assignment. (text-style:"smear","condense","fidget")+(text-colour:#c70000)[sedgestar] surveys the attended warriors with a purpose, clearly already having something in mind for you. it's hard to not feel worse when nobody chants your apprentice's name, when you're just that disliked already by your clan for reasons beyond you. you often wonder if your leader even likes you - it's always deputy sprucetail that comforts you, tries to cheer you up and encourage you to be a warrior. as you wait to see your mentor, the cat that hopefully would form another bond with you and help you until your warrior ceremony, you desperately send a prayer to Starclan that everything works out. that it's all just a trick of your mind. "Your mentor shall be-" [[Thistlefang]] ▐ [[Dovestep]] even as the words leave his mouth, your tail droops. of course the stars don't respond to your plea for help - they seem to like leaving you on read. you hope it's just another part of their plan.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= (text-style:"italic","smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)[focus help me focus help me focus please can't think can't hear head hurts head hurts can't think no name who am i? where am i? i can't let them win help me focus what am i fighting? who do you trust? would you be unmade unravelled you are a curse a stain never in the plan an anomaly i am not an anomaly] (text-colour:#ff009b)[(text-style:"italic","smear","shudder")[help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help me. help m]] (text-style:"italic","smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)[i cant let this (text-colour:magenta)[[start]] i need to be (text-colour:magenta)[[healed]]]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= (text-style:"italic","smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)[yes, you you are Here you are not Here no one is supposed to be Here. However You are Here and observing, you may heal me, help me. if i can focus pain will stop world will change i'll win please help me remember need to focus What is hurting me? I have to succeed or they'll hold power They will judge Forever unfairly cruel What Crimes Have I Committed? (text-colour:magenta)[[start]] healing me ]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= the highledge had crumbled from the weight of so many cats battling atop it, causing sedgestar to lose a life in the process and being decreed starclan's divine judgement ending the battle. as you looked up towards the highledge, your clanmates chanting your warrior's name; (text-style:"superscript","smear","buoy")["Moonsight! Moonsight! Moonsight! Moonsight! Moonsight!"] you closed your eyes, channeling your thoughts and feelings into your claws, letting the threads of reality that create the woven fabric of your world become a tangible feeling to you, and (text-style:"smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)[in a soft pulse of off-pink threads and glitters, slowly change the world, restoring the highledge to it's former glory in front of the eyes of everyone.] you feel pride in your pelt as your eyes open, tail held high to look excitedly around at your clanmates. their eyes reflect back raw horror and terror, and your pride freezes in your throat as (text-style:"smear","condense","fidget")+(text-colour:#c70000)[Sedgestar] stares down at you with shock and slow contempt. "What is the meaning of this, Moonsight? This is... impossible for any living cat to do." he hisses down at you, his tail low to the ground. you immediately crouch, ears flattening in shock. (text-style:"smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)['I just thought-- I just thought you would all be happy with it restored, Sedgestar,'] you manage, shock prickling every fur on your pelt. (text-style:"smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)['This is- I've been using it to protect the clan, to win battles for us and protect the borders, to make creating new dens easier for us all. I figured... that the Highledge was something important to you, and it deserved to be restored?'] "Are you //mad//? Do you think yourself above //Starclan?//" sedgestar snarls, lashing his tail straight back as he bares his fangs to you; you recoil in shock and fear. "What gives you the right to change the very earth under us, to restore that which was decreed to be lost, to change a battle they had foreseen us to lose or win?" "Shinepuddle, take them away. They will be held as a prisoner until the next full moon, upon which you will take them to be [[judged]] by Starclan. Then we will decide what to do with them." you cannot even fight back; your muscles are paralyzed by shock and betrayal, by the realization that your gift that you treasure so much for helping fix your life was the very thing that would ensure your clan would never accept you.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= the warriors' dens were struck by lightning at the apex of the battle, nearly burning down the camp and ruining the dens; you'd watched all the warriors since the battle sleep outside on the ground, complaining that while they're grateful for starclan's intervention, why did they have to leave them all nestless for a while? hadn't they endured enough hardships? as you looked up towards the highledge, your clanmates chanting your warrior's name; (text-style:"superscript","smear","buoy")["Moonsight! Moonsight! Moonsight! Moonsight! Moonsight!"] you closed your eyes, channeling your thoughts and feelings into your claws, letting the threads of reality that create the woven fabric of your world become a tangible feeling to you, and (text-style:"smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)[in a soft pulse of off-pink threads and glitters, slowly shape the world under your feet. the warriors' dens regrow their bushes and reeds in the blink of an eye, weaving themselves into a beautiful den around the trees bending down their limbs and leaves to add shade and protection from the rain.] you feel pride in your pelt as your eyes open, tail held high to look excitedly around at your clanmates. their eyes reflect back raw horror and terror, and your pride freezes in your throat as (text-style:"smear","condense","fidget")+(text-colour:#c70000)[Sedgestar] stares down at you with shock and slow contempt. "What is the meaning of this, Moonsight? This is... impossible for any living cat to do." he hisses down at you, his tail low to the ground. you immediately crouch, ears flattening in shock. (text-style:"smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)['I just thought-- I just thought you would all be happy with it restored, Sedgestar,'] you whisper, flinching at the tone leveled at you and trying not to tremble. (text-style:"smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)['All of the warriors - they've been sleeping on the ground, in the rain, and I just... I just care so much for our clan, I wanted to fix it. I wanted to keep us all safe, so nobody gets sick or any more miserable.'] "Are you //mad//? Do you think yourself above //Starclan?//" sedgestar snarls, lashing his tail straight back as he bares his fangs to you; your body shakes with fear as you drop to your belly, shutting your eyes and flattening your ears back. "What gives you the right to erase the scars our ancestor give us, proof of our humility and battles we were fated or win or lose?" "Shinepuddle, take them away. They will be held as a prisoner until the next full moon, upon which you will take them to be [[judged]] by Starclan. Then we will decide what to do with them." you cannot even fight back; your muscles are paralyzed by shock and betrayal, by the realization that your gift that you treasure so much for helping fix your life was the very thing that would ensure your clan would never love you.

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= (text-style:"italic","blur","sway")[I ask again: who are you?] (text-style:"italic","smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)[you haven't earned that, not yet. you know who i am? ] (text-style:"italic","blur","sway")[Forsaker. Forsaken. Hated. Feared. Star-shaper. The reality warper. You blot out the details of your mortal life, and your recalling of them causes you pain. Your goal is within reach, is it not? Who are you?] (text-style:"italic","smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)[they forsook me. they abandoned me. they hated me. they cursed me. they ] - Starclan comes for you right as the clouds pass the highest point of the full moon, and you look around at the swaths of silverpelt coming down to meet you, materializing into the shapes of cats you both have heard of, and cats you've never heard of in your life. (text-style:"superscript","shadow","sway")["Moonsight, warrior of Nettleclan, a cat cursed with the power of the stars - no, //beyond// the stars within your paws. You have been brought before us for your clan's peace of mind; what question do you have for us?"] the cat that speaks the most has a silvery-blue pelt, a weary look upon her face as she regards you. you feel pain gripping your heart like the claws of another. (text-style:"italic","smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)['Why did you give me this power, if it just caused me to be outcast and hated by my own clan?'] you beg honestly, tears pricking at your eyes. (text-style:"italic","smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)['All I wanted was to be the very best warrior for my clanmates I could be!'] starclan mutters amongst themselves, and you're struck by a horrible deja vu of all of your clanmates whispering and gossiping about you at your ceremonies. the cat sitting in front of you looks up at the unreal sky, coated with stars and an unnatural blue between dawn and night. their words break the final hope you had clung to since your kithood. (text-style:"superscript","shadow","sway")["We did not give you these powers, Moonsight. The power to shape the stars as you please is beyond even our control, and it comes from a source more ancient than even us,"] she murmurs sadly, refusing to meet your eyes. (text-style:"superscript","shadow","sway")["The truth is, we've watched you with fear and concern since you were a kit. No cat should hold those powers - no, no forest animal should, perhaps. We know... that you just wanted to be a loyal warrior, Moonsight. We're so, so sorry. But... if even we cannot trust you, I doubt anything we say could truly put your clan at ease."] your world is (text-colour:blue)+(text-style:"blur","rumble")[ [[breaking]] ]under your paws. (text-style:"superscript","shadow","sway")["It's not your fault,"] she reassures feebly, lying to you with a sad smile as if she actually cared. (text-style:"superscript","shadow","sway")["Nobody could hold those powers and be trusted. It's the fault of your curse, not you."] (text-style:"italic","smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)[IT'S NOT A CURSE]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= (text-style:"italic","blur","sway")[Their judgement is always clouded. The domino that would knock down so many, many more tragedies.] you're brought back to the clan in silence, shinepuddle walking in front of you and four warriors flanking you as if you couldn't simply raise the earth and fly away. "Starclan has declared that they can't be trusted," shinepuddle announces flatly, refusing to even look at you. "and therefore, the decision is yours, Sedgestar. What do we do with them?" (text-style:"smear","condense","fidget")+(text-colour:#c70000)["Exile. Starclan has spoken. We should've known when the nursery caught fire what a bad omen this kit would be,"] he spits, and turns his back on you. (text-style:"smear","condense","fidget")+(text-colour:#c70000)["Get out. If you're seen upon our territory by dawnbreak, we will fight you as if you were an enemy out for our kits."] you have been abandoned. forsaken. no matter what you do, it will never be good enough. you flee your home in tears, into the forest, past the hunting grounds you grew up in, and feel the thrum of the earth under your paws with every step. (text-style:"italic","smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)[this won't stand. this won't //stand//. all i did was obey the warrior code, pray to starclan, use my gifts to help my clan - and for //what?// for (text-colour:magenta)[[them]] to insist they're better than me?]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= you know what your calling is. the world (text-style:"blur","shudder")[shifts] at your will, bends to your calling. starclan is afraid of you, would rather exile you and banish you to the dark forest - to oblivion, if they could. so you will force them to accept you. you will (text-style:"fade-in-out")[do everything you can to make them obsolete,] to surpass them. you will destroy their kingdom built on cushions of moss and an easygoing afterlife, tear down the barriers between starclan and the dark forest and the world of the living. (text-style:"italic","smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)[you will make them regret casting you aside, damnning you for something that never harmed them but simply scared them, made them feel mortal and small in the face of someone with the power to change their fate. you will (text-colour:magenta)[[become something more.]]]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= (text-style:"italic","blur","sway")[You're very close.] (text-style:"italic","smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)[thank you. thank You. you, the one restoring my thoughts, my memories archiving the injustices now, assist me one last time] [[...Me?]]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= (text-style:"italic","smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)[yes, You. the story hasn't yet Ended. tell the tale. finish the archival of the cat Forsaken by their supposedly loving ancestors, who climbed that (text-colour:magenta)[[mountain]] to shape the new world and bestow their gifts upon every clan, every cat.]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= it is many moons since your exile. many long moons of journeying southeast, downwards, avoiding enemy clans and barely living off prey you steal along your journeys. you reach a mountain that scales so tall, the tip of it disappears into the clouds. as if you could access starclan itself at the top of it. and you know this is the place. this is the place to start your vengence, your plan to overthrow starclan for good. you climb the mountain, slow and steady, your mortal hunger and thirst fading away with your determination to reach the very top. you [[collapse, eventually, close to the top. you do not get up.]] [[manage to make it to the top, dehydrated and barely conscious.]]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= your eyes are shut, your life force draining. but this is a neccessary part of the process, although regrettably early. you'll have to ascend to the peak in the middle of a shape you're not even fully sure you can pull off. as your spirit starts to escape your flesh and bones, you focus all of your thoughts and emotion, all your rage and betrayal, the very last bit of life you have, into one reality warping tear at once. (text-style:"italic","smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)[you envision the world wrapped in mist at the top of the mountain, your Spire to the beyond. you imagine the fabrics of reality between the mortal world and afterlife, where they meet, you reside - your mortal body cast asunder to form a cat of both worlds, part of a cycle that can never end. even as your consciousness starts to fade, your power thrums as if it's never been more powerful. it renders your soul in two, absolutely asunder into pieces - time feels excruciatingly slow, and your brink of joining the dark forest yourself renders your control over it completely out of whack - your head splits, [[in pain]] and unable to focus at the time you needed to the most. ] (text-colour:#ff009b)+(text-style:"italic","smear","sway")[but You reminded me, reminded Us of what was important. of the despair of being unloved, of being hated and feared, of being condemned just because your ancestors fear you. that death is just as much of a beginning as life. You give us the focus i needed to finish, to create the first (text-colour:magenta)[[cycle]].]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= you stagger to the very base of the mountaintop spire, barely conscious but satiated that you've made it. you feel justified, vindicated, as you collapse to your paws and put everything within you to a reality tear to end all of your prior reality tears. no more thirst or hunger will weigh you down now, as you put your very life into your power - you lift one paw, (text-colour:#ff009b)+(text-style:"smear","fade-in-out")[glowing and swirling] around it, and rake your claws down your very soul. (text-style:"italic","smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)[you envision your beautiful world, wrapped in crystals and moss, situated between the fabrics of reality of the mortal realm and starclan, where they meet the Spire punctuates through. your mortal body is cast aside to the mortal world to form a permanent bond - an anchor upon which you walk with a paw in both worlds, shaping them both as you desire. a place for cats who wield gifts like you to truly flourish and thrive, and eventually? you will overthrow starclan itself. your mind is shattered into pieces, echoing across realities, splitting your head with agony and despite the amount of pain you're in, nothing can heal you. your focus is blinking out of existance, and with it, you--] (text-colour:#ff009b)+(text-style:"italic","smear","sway")[but You helped us. You helped us, Us, focus, to retell the tragedy we underwent, reminded us of what was important -- of being rejected for existing, for being different in a way that's unpredictable and scary. of your life having no value because you're different. that remembering is more powerful than forgetting, fuels even the impossible feats. You give us the focus i needed to finish, to create (text-colour:magenta)[[The Spire]].]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= (text-style:"italic","smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)[this becomes your very first Cycle, a term you will coin after other gifted cats - watchers, you call them, after the "sight" that marred your life, the eyes that saw into everything that others mocked with fear and malice. - eventually meet their end, and return to the (text-style:"expand","sway")[cavern of rebirth] with no memories. their lack of memories fuels the origin tear, the reality warp you fueled with the very stars you control; you spend many moons learning to use your power, now completely unrestricted, to shape this reality as you please.] (text-colour:#ff009b)+(text-style:"italic","smear","sway")[you and You have both asked so much. now, it is finished. thank You.] (text-style:"italic","blur","sway")[[Who are you?]]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= (text-style:"italic","smear")+(text-colour:#ff009b)[this becomes The Spire, a clan of cats gifted with the power of the stars in their paws - Watchers, you name them affectionately. in mortal life, your suffix of -sight was to remind you of your eyes that glittered with galaxies, proof of how above Starclan you were; now, you pass that along with pride. your beloved clan is all above the stars, now. you will watch over them, and the clans, and you learn to focus your reality warping to gift other cats when you descend back upon the mortal realm to visit. and so, the Watchers grow. your Watchers learn to gift other cats, and so the Spire flourishes.] (text-colour:#ff009b)+(text-style:"italic","smear","sway")[you and You have both asked so much. now, it is finished. thank You.] (text-style:"italic","blur","sway")[[Who are you?]]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= they tell the tale of The Spire as if it's a tall legend, not a clan of cats lead by a single cat betrayed by everyone they could turn to or love. spire watcher was once a warrior, just like any clanborn cat who finds themselves in possession of powers far beyond what a normal warrior should have. when they were known as moonpaw, and then moonsight, what did they do wrong other than try and use their powers for good? who are they to decree a power inherently makes a cat good, or evil? (text-style:"italic","sway")[You feel the whistle of the wind blow through your hair as you stare into the spiral staircase that winds up, up into The Spire, and bridges your world with the world of those beyond. The whispers of someone who had already established their reality, yet came from a time before - a time in which they were caught, nothing but static suspended across every version of reality in which you ended up here, no matter what choices that shaped their past. You helped them. And now, they offer to you: Join The Spire?] (text-style:"blur","sway")[Only you can tell the next choice, of if you turn back down a mountain that shouldn't exist - or you ascend the staircase, and leave your life behind. But Spire Watcher will always remember, always fondly offer a place for the entity that ripped across infinite realities to make her dream come true - to ascend past those that clans already consider their gods.] [[goodbye.]]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= (css:"font-size=20px")+(text-style:"italic")[thank you for playing this short interactive story, we'll become our own gods! this story was made for <a href="https://www.chickensmoothie.com/Forum/viewtopic.php?f=123&t=4768239">stars #2400</a>, and is a nonlinear and contradictory story of the past of the leader of the spire, spire watcher. there is no "right" or "wrong" ending, and i hope you enjoyed whatever narrative path took you to here! this was my first time working with twine, and the medium was inspired by seeing people use twine to make nonlinear fanfiction! i hope you enjoyed! -z]

(align:"=><=")+(box:"=XXXXXXXX=")[= (text-colour:#ff009b)+(text-style:"italic","smear","sway")[i am no longer Moonpaw. No longer](text-colour:#ff009b)+(text-style:"blurrier")[Moonsight.] (text-colour:#ff009b)+(text-style:"italic","smear","sway")[i am The Spire Watcher. I am Spire Watcher. i will lead the Spire for the rest of time immortal, and me, and my beloved Watchers, we will become more powerful than Starclan could ever be. "too dangerous for anyone to hold", they say? then we will become our own gods, our own ancestors. this will be their (text-colour:magenta)[[end]], but our (text-colour:magenta)[[start]].]