This is a free online personality test, provided solely for entertainment and ontological purposes. The results are not intended as a substitute for professional existential advice.
In the following section, you will be required to imagine that you are trapped in a forest. Your goal is to get out through any means necessary. The method of your escape determines your |destiny>[personality].
[[Consent]]
(mouseover-replace: ?destiny)[destiny]
(set: $NOT = "False")
(set: $ALL = "False")
(set: $WHO = "False")
(set: $WANDER = "False")
(set: $ARE = "False")
(set: $LOST = "False")
(live: 1s)[
(set: $counter to it - 1)
(replace: ?amount)[$counter]
(if: $counter is 0)[(go-to: "Not")]
]The End
[[Try again.->Start]](replace: ?sidebar)[
]The road is tiled with footprints. The ridges glisten like statues in the light. It is comforting to slip your feet into them, let them guide your movement forward.
As the trees thin, more and more raindrops smash into your head, cascading down your skin, rounding off all your roughness and edges. The rhythm of the rain and the rhythm of your steps become one. Not too fast, not too slow - your feet drumming out a smooth, regular heartbeat on the face of the earth.
The rain flattens you out until you are one molecule thin. Sloshing, glutted with rain, your shoes continue to walk themselves forward. Then, like a breath, even the shoes are gone. Only your footprints are left, moving ever on.
You no longer exist in the forest.
(set: $WHO to "True")
[[PERSONALITY PROFILE UNLOCKED: "WHO"->Results]]The scent of rain unfurls from earth, rising into the trees.
You stand before a fork in the road, your skin dripping into darkness.
[[Follow the broad, well-lit road.->WHO]]
[[Follow the dark, narrow path.->Dark]]
[[Go down both paths.->ALL]]
|Rebel)[[[Why do you have to follow a path at all?->WANDER]]]
(if: $NOT is "True" and $ALL is "True" and $WHO is "True" and $ARE is "True" and $LOST is "True")[(show: ?Rebel)]
(set: $counter to 10)
(live: 1s)[
(set: $counter to it - 1)
(replace: ?amount)[$counter]
(if: $counter is 0)[(go-to: "NOT")]
]The darkness is soft, comfortable. You nestle into it, wearing it as skin to take the rawness off the rain. If it was just you and the dark, you think you could keep walking through this forest forever.
But the raindrops keep thundering against the dome of your skull, gouging streaks into the bone, knocking your thoughts about and sending them scattering like so much foam on the surface of your mouth.
[[Take shelter under a tree.->Rest]]
[[Keep moving.->Move]]You sink down under a tree, curling up inside your own skin. The raindrops stop.
Finally.
Quiet.
Surely you can rest here - just for a little while.
[[Close your eyes.->ARE]]
[[Move on.->Move]]
You close your eyes and take a deep, long breath, basking in the sheer bliss of just being. You can't even smell the rain anymore. It's just you, and you, and you, stretching into an infinity of yourself.
You don't know how it happened, but at some point your eyes must have opened, just a little bit. You know because at some point, heat and light started seeping in through the cracks. It touches the inside of your retina, sizzling hot, making you flinch and curl up tighter.
Centuries have passed, or perhaps even millennia. You don't know.
At some point, the moist, dark grass underneath you evaporated into hot, dry sand. You burrow into it, searching for that sweet, soft darkness. You let the desert swallow you up.
You are out of the forest. The forest is gone.
And you are still you.
(set: $ARE to "True")
[[PERSONALITY PROFILE UNLOCKED: "ARE"->Results]]Your eyeballs split in two, trembling as they swivel apart to fix on each branching path. The vibrations intensify until your body rips itself down your spine with a wet squelch, both halves hitting the ground with a thud.
For a moment, nothing moves but for the slight twitching of your limbs. And then your fingers plunge into the mud, dragging your attached meat forward through the grass. Like slugs, the slabs of meat that are you squish slowly towards each path, slurping up the light and dark in equal measure.
You don't make it far.
You accomplished absolutely nothing of note in the forest, which means you might as well not be there at all.
(set: $ALL to "True")
[[Personality Profile Unlocked: "ALL"->Results]]You stare straight into the void in front of you.
You can't choose. You just can't.
So you just... stop.
As your mind sinks and swamps to the bottom of your skull, you don't feel it dribbling out of your ears. The empty space is filled with the sound of raindrops - or the sound of your own brain sloshing around in its cradle. You can't tell. You can't tell much of anything anymore.
You continue staring in front of you, barely blinking as the trees rush up, brushing past your shoulders. You barely notice the forest streaming around you, shunting you into one of the paths. (which? dont know. dont care)
Your feet aren't moving. But you are.
And you always will be.
(set: $NOT to "True")
[[PERSONALITY PROFILE UNLOCKED: "NOT"->Results]]Why do you have to leave anyway?
You choose to stay in the forest. It's wet, and scary, and you're constantly battered by the rain... but you stay.
You stay, and you don't stop moving.
You still don't know where you are, or where you're going. Or what any of all this means.
You're completely, utterly lost.
But it's okay. As long as you're there for you - you think you'll be okay.
(set: $WANDER to "True")
[[PERSONALITY PROFILE UNLOCKED: "WANDER"->Results]]You keep moving. No matter what, you have to keep moving.
[[Move.->Move1]]Even if it's dark.
[[Move.->Move2]]Even if the thorns tear at you, ripping your eyes out of their sockets and the flesh from your bones.
[[Move.->Move3]]You have to move faster. Your screams are dragging you down.
[[Move.->Move4]]You abandon your screams, abandon yourself, abandon everything. Unnecessary weight, all. You melt away into one long, neverending scream that nobody can hear, not even yourself.
If a scream dies in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
You move on.
Even if you can't remember why you're moving, or where you're going. Even if you don't know if you're heading straight for a dead end, or if you're just spiralling around where it all begun, tethered to a withered umbilical cord.
You just know that you have to keep moving. If you keep moving, you'll make it one day, right?
You move on.
You move on. You move on. You move on. You move on. You move on. You move on. You move on. You move on.
Do you even exist anymore?
[[You move on.->LOST]](set: $LOST to "True")
[[Personality Profile Unlocked: "LOST"->Results]][[Return to the woods.->Consent]]
|END)[[[Leave the woods.->END]]]
|NOT)[NOT] |ALL)[ALL] |WHO)[WHO] |WANDER)[WANDER] |ARE)[ARE] |LOST)[LOST]
(if: $NOT is "True")[(show: ?NOT)]
(if: $ALL is "True")[(show: ?ALL)]
(if: $WHO is "True")[(show: ?WHO)]
(if: $WANDER is "True")[(show: ?WANDER)]
(if: $ARE is "True")[(show: ?ARE)]
(if: $LOST is "True")[(show: ?LOST)]
(if: $NOT is "True" and $ALL is "True" and $WHO is "True" and $WANDER is "True" and $ARE is "True" and $LOST is "True") [(show: ?END)]NOT
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ALL
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WHO
+
WANDER
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(click-replace: "NOT")[You can't afford to flow where the trees take you.
You make a choice. It doesn't matter which choice you made, whether you choose to keep going on the path that you were hurled into, or if you chose to branch out.
All that matters is that you made a choice to be where you are.]
(click-replace: "ALL")[As you are right now, you don't think you can go down both paths, even though you want to.
So you choose the one path that you feel drawn to the most.
You never look back, right until you emerge out of the forest into the brilliant sunlight.]
(click-replace: "WHO")[The footprints all looked the same to you at first, but now you can see the differences. Each set is unique, and yet you can see the similarites that everyone shares.
You skim of the top of the footprints, riding along them, yet never losing your own form. Before long, you're creating your own path out of the forest - and the other footprints turn, and follow you.]
(click-replace: "WANDER")[With a start, you look up to see the brilliant sun.
You never planned this... but at some point in your wanderings, you must have left the forest.]
(click-replace: "ARE")[You take a deep breath, and get back on your feet.
That was a nice little rest, but you have things to do, places to see.
A forest to get out of.]
(click-replace: "LOST")[You stop moving blindly through the darkness. A little time to think, a little time to breathe, and little time to let your thoughts settle.
When you start out again, you can finally see the infinite paths branching out before you in the dark. It's going to take some time to explore them... but that's okay. Even if you're slower than everyone else, as long as you're getting where you want to be - it's okay.
You'll still have to leave the forest someday. But now? You think you're content to just wander.]