I Don't Want to be a Hero!

*Sunday afternoon.* You enter a restaurant you frequented every so often when you were feeling fancy. *12:51 pm* Shoot, you missed breakfast, which means no pancakes. What do you do? [[Pick something else]] [[Order off the kids' menu]] [[Leave]] (set: $heroDude to false)

Reluctantly, you ordered the something else off the menu. The waitress brought you a bowl of [soup. ]<p3|She smiled “Enjoy your meal!” "Thanks, you too." You cringed slightly after realizing what you just said. (click: ?p3)[In the soup, you noticed the noodles were in the shape of letters. The waitress had brought you alphabet soup. What, were you 5? Oh well. However, upon looking closer you realize your soup was forming [words.]<p4| ] (click: ?p4)[*C H O S E N O N E* ...... ......... ........ what? [[Eat the soup]] [[See what the soup has to say]] ]

Nothing was going to stop you from getting those pancakes. Not even your dignity. You ordered off the kid's menu. The waitress brought your pancakes and a warm bowl of [soup. ]<p1| She smiled “Enjoy your meal!” "Thanks, you too." You cringed slightly after realizing what you just said. (click: ?p1)[In the soup, you noticed the noodles were in the shape of letters. The waitress had brought you alphabet soup. What, were you 5? You specifically requested the much cooler dinosaur shaped ones. Oh well. However, upon looking closer you realize your soup was forming [words.]<p2| ] (click: ?p2)[*C H O S E N O N E* ...... ......... ........ what? [[Eat the soup]] [[See what the soup has to say]] ]

(set: $choices1 to (array: "Captain ", "Super ", "Wonder ", "Victory ", "Incredible ", "Mighty ", "Doctor ", "Flaming ", "Icy ", "Professor ", "Agent ", "Cheese ", "Banana ", "Cantaloupe ", "Monkey ", "Spider ", "Bat ", "Duck ", "Falcon ", "Normal ", "Nameless "))(set: $choices2 to (array: "Justice", "Ninja", "Defender", "Warrior", "Shield", "Knight", "Man", "Woman", "Person", "Spider","Bat", "Falcon","Duck", "Cheese", "Banana ", "Cantaloupe", "Monkey", "Jeff")) (set: $heroDude to true)(set: $timer to 10) You follow him to a noisy pub. He yells “Yo chief, slide me a cold one!” The bartender slides him a glass of milk. You two enjoy a nice meal and conversation. While you were stuffing your face with pancakes, he revealed his secret identity to be [(display: "Super Hero adv")]<choice1| [(display: "Super Hero name")]<choice2|, the town's hero. He starts talking at you, using lots of words. "I’m not actually from here... I’m actually from the Cheese Kingdom ruled by the King Gouda and Queen Mozzarella. We’re in serious danger. The princess and prince, the twins... (text-style: "blur")[*blah blah blah*.... -which is currently being taken over by the evil Uncle Cheddar and his Cheez-It army... -as you can see, crackers are forbidden in the... and in order to protect themselves, they must- ] (text-style: "blurrier")[*...blah blah blah and blah...* Now the world is in peril and the apocalypse is happening... * blah blah...* -can’t do anything about it because I hurt myself playing frisbee golf in the cockpit... *blah* -a perfect candididate, because you possess the *yadda yadda yadda...*" ] You could only catch bits and pieces of the conversation because you were too busy being distracted, making Santa Claus’s beard out of whip cream. *"....You’re the chosen one. Only you can save the world."* You snapped out of your trance. "Wait what? Save the world?" "Yes, I know this is a huge responsibility, but will you do it? You're our only hope. " ..... ...................... [.....]<e|(click: ?e)[ wut Hero? me? I can’t bear that responsibility. What if I screw up? I’m not cut out to be a hero. I don’t want to be the hero. Your thoughts swarmed [[endlessly.|thoughts]] ]

You shove your spoon into the soup and start eating. However, despite deliberately eating every vowel, strange words kept forming in your soup. [[Continue eating]] [[See what the soup has to say]]

[*C H O SEN ONE *]<cl1| (click: ?cl1)[*O N L Y YO U C A N *]<cl3| (click: ?cl3)[*S A V E US *]<cl4| (click: ?cl4)[*H E R O *]<cl2| (click: ?cl2)[ wut Hero? for what? heck no. I’m not down for this cliche bullsh*t. I don’t even listen to my professor, what makes you think I’m going to listen to my soup? I’m not cut out to be a hero. I don't want to be a hero. Your thoughts swarmed [[endlessly.|thoughts]] ]

You shove your spoon into the soup and start eating. However, despite eating the letters and deliberately eating every vowel, strange words kept forming in your soup. [[Continue eating]] [[See what the soup has to say]]

You accepted your destiny and saved the world. You're a nice person. What has the world given you? *~Ending #1: Do as you're told~* [[back to the top ->I don't want to be the protagonist. ]]

(if: $points is >= 3)[(goto: "Super Hero Ending")] Heck no, you weren't ready for this. *"Responsibility? Sorry, don’t know her. Bye.” * You bolted from the table and ran outside. [[Run Left]] [[Run Right]] [[Maybe I should go back and accept my fate.->Accept your fate ]] (if: $points is >=2)[I'm done running around. I'm ready to [move on...]<x1|](click: ?x1)[ Are you done [[exploring?-> Chaos]] ] (else-if: $res is >=2)[I'm done running around. I'm ready to [move on...]<x2|](click: ?x2)[ Are you done [[exploring?-> Chaos]] ]

Nope nope nope You weren't going to deal with this today. You turned around and went back home. Hopefully, you'd find a better Twine game to play. *~Ending #2: No thanks~* [[back to the top ->I don't want to be the protagonist. ]]

You ran left. Where do you go? [[Downtown]] [[Uptown]] [[Go Back->Run away from your problems]]

You ran right. Where do you go? [[Pool]] [[Garden]] [[Beach]] [[Home]] [[Go back->Run away from your problems]]

You're at the pool. You see a person drowning. What do you do? [[Save them]] [[Ignore them]]

You enter the garden. You see a old man walking and admiring the flowers. He doesn't see the rock, a potential tripping hazard, thats in front of him. What do you do? [[Save the man from tripping]] [[eh, he'll manage->Keep moving forward]]

You leave town and disappear for awhile. Congrats, you ran away from your problems. *~Good Ending: Sweet Escape~* (set: $res to it + 1) Hero Status: $points Bad Reputation: $rep Responsibilities Neglected: $res [[back to the top ->I don't want to be the protagonist. ]]

You're in downtown. Where do you go? [[Bank]] [[Hospital]] [[Zoo]] [[Go Back ->Run Left]]

You are uptown. The best ways to escape your responisbilites is by getting out of town. How will you leave? [[Boat]] [[Airplane]] [[Roadtrip]] [[Go back->Run away from your problems]]

You throw a pool noodle at them. They cling on to it for dear life. They are safe. (set: $points to it + 1) Hero Status: $points Responsibilities Neglected: $res You are accepting your fate at the chosen one. Where do you go? [[Garden]] [[Pool]] [[Beach]] [[Home]] [[Go Back->Run away from your problems]]

You keep going, ignoring their gurgling cries for help. (set: $res to it + 1) Hero Status: $points Responsibilities Neglected: $res Where do you go? [[Garden]] [[Pool]] [[Beach]] [[Home]] [[Go Back->Run away from your problems]]

You quickly scooped up the rock from the man's path. You obtained a rock! (set: $points to it + 1)(set: $inv to $inv + (a: "rock")) Hero Status: $points Responsibilities Neglected: $res Inventory: (print: $inv.join(" ")). Where do you go?  [[Garden]] [[Pool]] [[Beach]] [[Home]] [[Go Back->Run away from your problems]]

"Not my problem." You thought. (set: $res to it + 1) Hero Status: $points Responsibilities Neglected: $res Where do you go? [[Garden]] [[Pool]] [[Beach]] [[Home]] [[Go Back->Run away from your problems]]

You feel the courage of the chosen one pulsing in you. [You leap into action!]<i| (mouseover-replace: ?i)[(text-style: "emboss")[ #BAM!] You flop on the floor. You got shot in the foot and your wallet got stolen. Some hero you are. (set: $rep to it + 1) Hero Status: $points Bad Reputation: $rep Where do you go? [[Go Back ->Downtown]] [[Keep exploring->Run away from your problems]]  ]

You run to the beach, hoping to clear your head. You see a man with his head stuck in the sand. He was apparently trying to mimick an ostrich. However, his head seems to be enternally stuck. What do you do? [[Free him]] [[Leave him]]

You decided to leave by boat but the boat decided this would be a great time to start sinking. What do you do? [[Help them! ]] [[Grab a life jacket and bail. You know how to swim your way out of town.->Out of State]] [[Go Back->Uptown]]

You bought tickets for your flight and boarded the plane. Halfway through the flight, someone starts causing trouble. What do you do? [[Intervene ]] [[Carry on. You’re almost at your destination.->Out of State]] [[Go Back ->Uptown]]

You freed the man's head from its sandy cage. However, instead of thanking you, he cursed at how you ruined his lifelong dream of being an ostrich. (set: $rep to it + 1) Hero Status: $points Bad Reputation: $rep Where do you go? [[Garden]] [[Pool]] [[Beach]] [[Home]] [[Go Back->Run away from your problems]]

The man looked quite content as an ostrich. He didn't need your help. (set: $res to it + 1) Hero Status: $points Responsibilities Neglected: $res Where do you go? [[Garden]] [[Pool]] [[Beach]] [[Home]] [[Go Back->Run away from your problems]]

Their breath came out in steam through the holes of the mask and vaporized into the thin air as they [exhaled.]<d| (click: ?d)[ *"Psst kid. Don't mean to alarm you, but I’m on my way to get some grub. I thought maybe some company would be nice. Care to come with? I'm [paying]<d1|."*] (click: ?d1)[ You recall following a stranger was probably a bad idea but being a broke college student, you couldn’t bear the thought of passing up free food. Do you follow them? [[no, stranger danger ->Home]] [[free food! heck yea!]] ]

{ (link: (text: $choices's 1st) )[ (set: $choices to (rotated: -1, ...$choices)) (replace: ?choice)[(display: "Cycling")] ] }

{ (link: (text: $choices2's 1st) )[ (set: $choices2 to (rotated: -1, ...$choices2)) (replace: ?choice2)[(display: "Super Hero name")] ] }

(set: $choices3 to (array: "Super ", "Wonder ","Captain ", "Victory ", "Incredible ", "Mighty ", "Doctor ", "Flaming ", "Icy ", "Professor ", "Agent ", "Cheese ", "Banana ", "Monkey ", "Spider ", "Bat ", "Duck ", "Falcon ", "Normal ", "Nameless ")) (set: $choices4 to (array: "Defender", "Justice", "Ninja", "God", "Goddess", "Warrior", "Shield", "Knight", "Man", "Woman", "Person", "Spider","Bat", "Falcon","Duck", "Cheese", "Banana ", "Monkey", "Jeff", "Rose")) With your elevated power and amazing reputation of chivalrous deeds, the town catches wind of your newfound hero status. You are branded as a upcoming star and a hero to all. You make headlines everyday(if: $heroDude is true)[, fighting side by side with (print: $choices1's 1st) (print: $choices2's 1st).](else: )[.] You become the town’s hero as [(display: "Cycling1")]<choice3| [(display: "Cycling2")]<choice4|. .... ..... [...............]<k|(click: ?k)[ Now, the town looks at you expectantly to solve all their problems. Quickly, you became very tired and [[overwhelmed]] from constantly saving the town. ]

{ (link: (text: $choices3's 1st) )[ (set: $choices3 to (rotated: -1, ...$choices3)) (replace: ?choice3)[(display: "Cycling1")] ] }

{ (link: (text: $choices1's 1st) )[ (set: $choices1 to (rotated: -1, ...$choices1)) (replace: ?choice1)[(display: "Super Hero adv")] ] }

(set: $choices to (array: "Fox ", "Cat ", "Dog ", "Rabbit ", "Duck ","SpiderMan ","Batman ","cheese ", "banana ", "cantaloupe ", "ugly ", "pretty ", "suspicious ", "blank " )) No pancakes means no breakfast. You left the restaurant and went on your merry way. As you walked down the street, you passed by a shady alleyway. A tall figure stood by it entrance, its shadow blending in with the depths of the alley. Their long trenchcoat fluttered as the wind blew. You couldn't identify them due to the [(display: "Cycling")]<choice| mask that covered their [[face.|Results]]

<p>{(live: 0.15s)[ (either: "*Does that mean people would have to rely on **me**?*", "*I can’t bear that responsibility.*", "*Responsibility is hard.*", "*I don’t want to be the hero.*", "*I might just end up ruining everything. *", "*Why me? *", "*I’m the worst possible person. *", "*Me, a hero? We’re doomed.*", "*Don’t make me laugh.*", "*I can barely save my Twine Game, How can I save the world?*", "*AAAAAaaaAAAaaaAAAAAaaaaaaaa*", "*I’ve got to get out of here before I start monologuing. *", "*We're all screwed.*", "*Can't someone else do it?*") ]}</p> (set: $points to 0) (set: $rep to 0) (set: $inv to (a:))(set: $timer to 10) { (live: 1s)[ (if: $timer is 0)[ (stop:) (goto: "World End") ] (else: )[ (set: $timer to it - 1) Decide in $timer seconds ] ] } [[Accept your fate ]] [[Run away from your problems]]

You decided you were going to the bank to empty your (nonexistent) savings and get the heck out of this town. As you arrive, you witness a bank robbery taking place right in front of you. What do you do? [[Intervene]] [[Nope, no thanks ->Run]]

Maybe you were going crazy. Better go check yourself out at the hospital. However, just as you were about to play with the pile of building blocks in the waiting room, a loud [cackling]<g| from a guy wearing a lab coat, distracts you. (click: ?g)[He is holding a stink bomb, threatening to blown up the facility. The situation seems dire, despite the fact that the patients were all fruits. What do you do? [[Stop him]] [[Run]] ]

You decided to take your mind off things and look at animals to destress. But before you could begin your endeavor as a Disney Princess, a monkey starts wreaking havoc in the zoo. What do you do? [[Challenge the matafaking monkey to a Dance Battle just because you can. -> Dance Battle]] [[Initiate a staring contest with the monkey -> Stare]]

You challenged the monkey to a dance battle. *“Ooh- ah ooh-aah ahh" monkey noises * You assumed the monkey accepted the [duel.]<f| (click: ?f)[ After 12 hours of DDR, you accepted defeat. The monkey stole your wallet as its prize. You felt extremely dismayed and turned your back on the world. You went back home that day. *~Ending #3: Can’t Dance for my Life ~* Hero Status: $points Responsibilities Neglected: $res [[back to the top ->I don't want to be the protagonist. ]] ]

You stared at the monkey. The monkey stared at you back. You can see the (text-style: "emboss")[danger] in its eyes. [[Stare at the monkey -> Stare]] [[Move on ->Run]]

You feel the courage of the chosen one pulsing in you.  You [lunge]<h| for the bomb, (click: ?h)[but you are caught before you could do anything useful. He looks at you [dead]<y1| in the eye and whispers, “*You should have taken your vitamins.*” ] (click: ?y1)[The bomb kills you in seconds. This is why you don't trust dudes in lab coats. *~Ending #4: Don’t Trust Dudes in Lab Coats.~* Hero Status: $points Responsibilities Neglected: $res [[back to the top ->I don't want to be the protagonist. ]] ]

Nope, no thanks, you very much wanted to live. You make like bananas and split. You figure someone would call 911 sooner or later and it wasn't going to be you. (set: $res to it + 1) Hero Status: $points Responsibilities Neglected: $res Where do you go? [[Go Back ->Downtown]] [[Keep exploring->Run away from your problems]]

Time to hit the road. You packed your things into the trunk of the van. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice someone locked inside in their car. They appear to be pressing all the wrong buttons and attempting to open the door with a can opener. Do you help them? [[I'll save you!]] [[uhhhhh do I really want to...I'd rather just leave. ->Out of State]] [[Go Back->Uptown]]

(if: $inv contains "rock")[ You used the rock to break the window. The captive is now free! Way to go, Hero! (set: $points to it + 1) Hero Status: $points Responsibilities Neglected: $res [[Maybe I shouldn't leave just yet...->Run Left]] [[Leave Town->Out of State]] ] (else:)[You attempted to break the window but due to the lack of upper-body strength, you weren't able to. Maybe if you had a rock or something. A+ for effort tho. You mouthed “Sorry” to the captive prisoner and went on your merry way. (set: $res to it + 1) Hero Status: $points Responsibilities Neglected: $res [[Go Back->Run Left]] [[Leave Town->Out of State]] ]

You easily patch up the hole with the convenient travel-sized glue gun and duct tape in your pocket. The passangers graciously thank you for saving them from drowning. (set: $points to it + 1) Hero Status: $points Responsibilities Neglected: $res [[Maybe I shouldn't leave just yet...->Run Left]] [[Leave Town->Out of State]]

You calmly approach the stranger and explain that he was disturbing other passengers. *“Huh?! What’s your problem? Don’t make throw you.”* [[Throw me?]] [[Sorry, sir...]]   (click: ?j)[He picked you up and threw you out the window. What a way to go, hero. *~Ending #6: Quite a Long Fall~* Hero Status: $points Responsibilities Neglected: $res [[back to the top ->I don't want to be the protagonist. ]] ]

He picked you up and threw you out the window. What a way to go, hero. *~Ending #6: Quite a Long Fall~* Hero Status: $points Responsibilities Neglected: $res [[back to the top ->I don't want to be the protagonist. ]]

"Sorry, sir..." you apologized profusely, putting yourself in the wrong. *"Apology accepted."* he smiled and went back to his seat and started eating airplane peanuts. Needless to say that, your attempt to diffuse the situation was quite successful. (set: $points to it + 1) Hero Status: $points Responsibilities Neglected: $res [[Go Back ->Run Left]] [[Leave Town->Out of State]]

(set: $choices5 to (array: "Zombies.", "Flaming Meteors.", "The Roomba Army.")) You could the feel the apocalypse coming. As chaos ensues, you feel the power of the *Chosen One* surging within you. You feel like you can stop the invasion of [(display: "Cycling5")]<choice5| [[Confirm|Confirmation Page]]

{ (link: (text: $choices4's 1st) )[ (set: $choices4 to (rotated: -1, ...$choices4)) (replace: ?choice4)[(display: "Cycling2")] ] }

You used your earthbending and mind bending skills to dig into the Earth and chant a [summoning spell.]<p|(click: ?p)[ (text-style: "shudder")[#*ROOOAAARRRRRRRR*] [Loud roars]<q| suddenly filled the air. ] (click: ?q)[Dinosaurs have risen from their earthy tomb and begun their attack. They were hungry for revenge against the very things that caused their extinction. Using the rage they felt from being turned to chicken nuggets, they demolished the [meteors.]<r| ] (click: ?r)[With every meteor destroyed, they were satisfied with their work and returned to wherever they came from. [[You saved the world! ->Super Hero Ending]] ]

Uncle Cheddar from the Forbidden Cheese Kingdom has invaded the town with his [Cheez-It Army...]<s| (click: ?s)[and he made a pact with the [Roombas.]<t|] (click: ?t)[But you did not fret. Instead, you used the power of Global Warming's rising sea levels and poured [water]<u| on them. ] (click: ?u)[The roombas’ circuits shorted out. The Cheez-Its got all soggy. Uncle Cheddar starts screaming out about how he has go back and change because his Gucci clothes got all wet. [[You saved the world from a from a cheesy demise! ->Super Hero Ending]] ]

(if: $choices5's 1st is "Zombies.")[(goto: "WinZombies")] (else-if: $choices5's 1st is "Flaming Meteors.")[(goto: "Dinosaurs")] (else-if: $choices5's 1st is "The Roomba Army.")[(goto: "WinRoomba")]

no, of course, you weren't going to do it. Why was this your responsibility? What has the world given [you?]<v| (click: ?v)[You, a hero? That's almost laughable. You were going to run away and you were going to keep running away. Nothing was going to [catch up]<x| to you. ] (click: ?x)[[Not your responsibilities.]<y|] (click: ?y)[[Not the world. ]<z| ] (click: ?z)[[Not the apocalypse. ]<a| ] (click: ?a)[[Not even a duck sized horse or a horse sized duck.]<b| ] (click: ?b)[Not your problem. *~Good Ending: Freedom~* ]

{ (link: (text: $choices5's 1st) )[ (set: $choices5 to (rotated: -1, ...$choices5)) (replace: ?choice5)[(display: "Cycling5")] ] }

(print: $choices5's 1st) You knew exactly what to do. But did you want to do it? [[ no ]] [Yes, it's my duty as the Chosen One.]<q1| (click: ?q1)[[Are you sure you want to save everyone from the apocalypse?]<q2|] (click: ?q2)[[Are you sure sure?]<q3| ] (click: ?q3)[[Are you sure sure sure sure? ]<q4| ] (click: ?q4)[[[So surety sure sure of sures sure sure of all the sureness in the world?->Yes,]] ]

You used your newfound [power]<n| of being insanely rich and famous to(click: ?n)[ take all the zombies to McDonalds. As it turns out, all the zombies were just cranky and hungry after rising up from the dead. Feeding them fast food would stop them from [terrorizing the town.]<o|] (click: ?o)[However, the mass amount of chemicals in the food killed them a second time and they all went from being undead to dead. [[You saved the world! ->Super Hero Ending]] ]

:: StoryTitle Harlowe: Timed Passages :: StoryStylesheet[stylesheet] tw-include[type="startup"]{ display: none; } tw-sidebar { display:none; } :: Start [[thoughts]] { (live: 1s)[ (if: $timer is 0)[ (stop:) (goto: "World End") ] (else: )[ (set: $timer to it - 1) The world will end in $timer seconds ] ] } :: Startup[startup] (set: $timer to 10)

Double-click this passage to edit it.

(set: $event to (random: 1, 2))(if: $event is 1)[Thus, it lead to your downfall when you accidently mixed salt instead of sugar for the Cantaloupe God’s birthday cake. The Cantaloupe God was immensely offended and cursed the town to eat the melons for the rest of their lives. [You screwed up.]<m| (click: ?m)[The town was quick to blame, scorn, and slander your name. You were shunned and banished to another island, where no one would hear from you ever again. See what happens when you help people? *~Bad End: One True Hero~* ]] (elseif: $event is 2)[One day, while you were battling the Evil Homework Monster, you got extremely careless and got a papercut. You would have bled to death had it not been for your quick thinking and convenient duct tape you always carried. [But then, ]<w1| (click: ?w1)[You got hit by a truck. Miraculously you survived [but]<w2|] (click: ?w2)[the crash reopened your cut and you bled to death. The town laughed, mocked, and jeered at your legacy as the hero who died from a papercut. See what happens if when you help people? *~Bad End: A Hero’s Death~* [[back to the top ->I don't want to be the protagonist. ]] ]]

You couldn't decide what to do. The world ended regardless. The End. *~End #7: Undecisive~* [[back to the top->I don't want to be the protagonist. ]]

↶

↷

Sunday afternoon.

You enter a restaurant you frequented every so often when you were feeling fancy.

12:51 pm

Shoot, you missed breakfast, which means no pancakes.

What do you do?

Pick something else

Order off the kids' menu

Leave