You consider what to do next. You could [[have lunch|lunch]], or you could go out somewhere. It might be nice to [[get out of the house|walk]].

You sit at your desk to draw. Your drawings are full of furry creatures with multiple eyes, sharp teeth, and claws. You keep drawing a rat-like creature with bristling fur and four eyes. Drawing it calms you down.\n\nYou are tired, try to [[rest|bed]].\n\nYou are [[hungry|dinner]].\n

The rat scratches at the pages of your book, its mouth agape showing rows of sharp teeth. It opens all four of its white eyes to stare up at you. Its tail lashes back and forth agitatedly.\n\nYou are trying to [[read|read]]\n

You decide to go out for a walk. You get dressed and head out. The streets are reasonably empty, which is nice. You see things out of the corners of your eyes but they seem to mean no harm. You walk briskly just in case.\n\nAfter a short while you reach the point where you must either turn left, to the [[park|park]], or right, to the [[shops|shops]].\n

Content warning for psychosis, mental health issues.\n\n[[Begin|starting]].

The rat stares up at you, mouth slightly agape revealing rows of sharp teeth that rats usually do not have. Its entire body is dark and curled up into a ball. It doesn’t seem like it’s willing to move from its spot on top of your notebook.\n\n[[The lecture is running|lecture]].\n

You pull the book away from the rat creature and place it back down on your bedside table before turning over onto your side. You stare at the wall for a while, recalling the day that has just gone past. You’ve made it this far.\n\nTHE END.\n

You decide to stay at home. You get dressed and then sit on your bed, trying to ignore the cat and simultaneously trying to decide what to do. You can feel the cat’s eyes on the staring into the side of your head.\n\nYou could play some [[old games|old games]] of yours, or you could try to [[tidy up|clean]] around the house.\n

[[Home|home desc]] is as safe as you get. It is the only place you have control of. It is a tiny apartment but you don’t have to worry about people staring at you for talking at ‘nothing’ here. It is a place of safety, as long as the cat doesn’t try anything.\n\nYou are tired, you try to [[rest|bed]]. \n\nYou try to get some emotions out by creating [[art|art]].\n<<if $game_bought == 1>>\nYou play some of the [[new game|game]] you bought.\n<<endif>>

It remains in the exact same spot as it was this morning. It sits in an indent in the bed that it couldn’t have made and stares at you; less harshly now than it did earlier. Perhaps you can befriend this one eventually.\n\nYou are in [[bed|bed]].\n

You whisper as quietly as you can ‘shoo’ and wave your hand at the rat creature. It stares at you unblinkingly for a few seconds before standing up, shaking itself, and jumping off your desk. You turn to look at it leave but it seems to have entirely vanished. Shaken, you turn back to the lecture. Despite your best efforts people seem to have noticed you acting weirdly. You stare down at your notebook.\nTry to [[take notes|notes]]? Or are you are [[too shaken|no notes]] to take notes?\n

The cat stares at you with three shining white eyes. It’s been following you around for a while; you’re not sure how long it’s been any more. It hardly ever moves while you’re looking at it. \n\n[[You’ve just woken up|wake up]]\n

You sit on the swings, away from all of the groups of people. You swing gently backwards and forwards, calming yourself. You feel small creatures brush against your feet but they are too fast for you to see. They seem friendly enough though so you don’t mind too much. You sit there for a few hours, thinking about various things and staring up at the clouds. You aren’t exactly calm but it is towards peaceful here.\n\nYou finally decide to [[go home|home]].\n

<<set $bought_food = 1>>\nYou enter the [[grocery store|food shop desc]] and look around. You know you probably won’t have the energy to actually cook something elaborate so you pick out something easy to make. You get the feeling people are watching or even following you, so you [[leave quickly|home]].\n

Your home is a tiny apartment with a combined living, eating and cooking area and a single bedroom. It has many plants, mostly succulents you can keep without too much water. The kitchen is often bare due to the lack of energy required to go out and buy groceries.\n\nYou are at [[home|home]]\n

You begin reading the book sitting on your bedside table. It is some form of fantasy book by a moderately well-known but not too well-known author. You feel yourself getting more and more tired. You blink and see a [[rat|rat 2]] creature scratching at the edges of the book.\n\nYou take this as your cue to go to [[sleep|sleep]].\n

You think for a while about what you want to do today. There are far too many possibilities. Do you want to [[go out|walk]]? Or [[stay at home|stay home]]?

<<set $bought_food = 0>>\nYou blink blearily, the ceiling coming into focus. You move and shut off your alarm. On the end of your bed you see the [[cat|not your cat]] still staring at you, as it was last night. Unnerved, you roll over and stare at your alarm clock instead.\n\nIt is time to [[get up|weekend or weekday]].\n

The lecture is on binary search trees. You’ve always struggled in lectures; actually paying attention is difficult for you. You take notes by hand to try to focus yourself. As you look down at your notebook to write more notes, you see a [[rat creature|rat]] lying on your notebook. You look down at it uncertainly. [[Leave it alone|ignore]]? Or [[shoo it away|shoo]]?

The park is fairly bare. It has a single playground, a few benches, and a small clump of trees. It is not the nicest of parks but it is your park. You’ve gone here to think for several years now. \n\nYou are at the [[park|park]].\n

Your heart races and you gasp for breath. You manage to stumble to your bed and curl into a fetal position. The world feels as if it is all crashing down on you. The tightness in your chest is growing worse and it feels like your heart is about to stop beating altogether. The world is getting darker and louder, closing in on you. \n\nYou need to [[calm down|calm down]]\n

You go to your room and sit at your desk to do work, ignoring the cat staring at your back. Your homework is not going so well, you can’t remember any of the lecture and the lecture slides don’t make any sense. \n\nYou feel [[panic|panic]] rising inside you.\n\nYou decide to stop and [[read a book|read]] to calm yourself before bed.\n

The grocery store is small, just a local one. There’s not too much healthy food like fresh fruits and vegetables but there are always frozen foods available, which is more suited to your ability to cook anyway.\n\nYou are at the [[grocery store|food shops]]\n

The rat has four glinting eyes, staring wide open up at you. Its teeth are all razor sharp, unlike a rats teeth, and its cordlike tail appears to be at least twice as long as its body. It makes you shudder.\n\nYou were [[playing a game|old games]].\n

It is the end of classes and time to go home. You feel like many people are watching you, but there is no one around. \n\nDo you go to the [[park|park]]? To the [[shops|shops]]? Or straight [[home|home]]?\n

You turn on music and relax at the kitchen table. Things don’t seem too bad as they are now. Sure, there are problems and you have issues, but everyone has issues. Yours are just harder to explain to people. You zone out to the music, properly relaxed for the first time all day.\n\nYou decide to [[read a book|read]] before bed.\n

<<if $bought_food == 0>>\s\nYour dinner consists of instant noodles and left over chicken. You figure you probably need some nutrients other than noodles as it’s been a while since you’ve had any. The noodles are overly salty and taste like tiredness.\n<<endif>>\s\n<<if $bought_food == 1>>\s\nYour dinner consists of the food you bought earlier. It's probably more neutritious than the instant noodles you've been eating daily for a while now. You even managed to buy yourself some biscuits for dessert.\n<<endif>>\s\n\nYou are eating [[dinner|dinner]].\n

You stand up, trying to avoid looking at the staring cat. The sun shines through your window and onto your desk, where you keep your collection of potted plants. They seem to greet you cheerily today. You feel like you have forgotten something. \n\nYou press your palms into your eye sockets, trying to remember, is it a [[weekday|weekday]]? Or a [[weekend|weekend]]?

The [[park|park desc]] is somewhat empty except for a few groups of young people. You prefer it being emptier like this, it means there are less people to notice you. You look around and decide on a place to exist.\n\n[[You go to the playground|swings]].\n\n[[You go sit on a bench|arseholes]].\n

You walk a few streets away from your house. The streets are relatively empty and the sun warms your skin. It seems almost like it might be a good day. You have a sudden feeling like you’ve forgotten something. Were you meant to go to school?\n\nDoes it even matter if you go to [[school|school]] or [[not|miss school]]?\n

You have a simple lunch of toast with peanut butter. It fills you up and is easy to make. Lunch is reasonably uneventful and you are grateful for that. After lunch you decide to:\n\nGo for a [[walk|walk]].\n\nMake some [[art|art]].\n\nHave a [[rest|bed]], you don’t feel energised enough to do anything else.\n

You insert the game disc into your console. The game takes a while to load up as your console doesn’t work quite right, being second hand. You start playing the game and get caught up in enjoying it. You stop at the end of a single stage, as your attention span isn’t as good as what it used to be.\n\nYou decide to squeeze in some [[art|art]] before dinner.\n\nYou lie down to [[rest|bed]] before dinner.\n\nYou go make [[dinner|dinner]].\n

You sit on a bench, closer than you’d like to a group of teenagers. You look to your side and see a large rattish dog creature sitting next to you. Its mouth is open and it is panting. It seems friendly and you smile at it and ask it how it is doing. It seems to respond positively, it’s long hairless tail twitching happily.\n\nThe group of teenagers notice you talking and begin to call out offensive words. They keep calling you a ‘crazy [[bitch|not a girl]]’. You hold back tears and the rat-dog growls in their direction. You are too scared to keep talking to it.\n\nYou take this as your cue to [[go home|home]].\n

Wake up

You pull off pajamas and pull on clothes for the day, all while avoiding eye contact with the cat. You feel its eyes staring at you accusingly. You’re not quite sure what it is accusing you of. You leave the cat and your room and enter the kitchen to have breakfast. You feel glad that you have left the cat behind, and that it never seems to follow you out of your room.\n\nIt is time to leave. Was it to [[school|school]]? Or [[elsewhere|detour]]?\n

You manage to take a few deep breaths in the middle of your gasps for air. You start counting the cracks in your floor boards. It takes you a while but eventually you are calm again, the world has returned to normal. You don’t want to leave bed again tonight.\n\nYou decide to [[read a book|read]] to calm yourself before bed.\n

That’s right, it’s a weekend, a day free from school. You’re free to do whatever you want. However, you need to decide [[what to do|what do]].

<<set $taken_notes = 2>>\nYou spend the rest of the lecture staring straight ahead. By the time the lecture is over, the rat has gone. You wonder if it Is pleased that it made you not take notes.\n\nEventually the lecture ends, and it is [[time to go|home time]].\n

You decide to do work on the kitchen table rather than your desk, so that the cat doesn’t disturb you. You pull the notes out of your bag and get started on your homework. It goes surprisingly well, despite the distraction in the lecture. You finish your homework with time to spare before bed.\n\nYou decide to [[relax|relax]] for a while.\n\nYou decide to [[read a book|read]] to calm yourself before bed.\n

You’re finally at [[school|school desc]]. The hallways are strangely empty. You should probably [[go to class|lecture]].

You're not even a girl. You feel familiar anger at the gendered slurs.\n\nYou're on a [[bench|arseholes]].

<<set $taken_notes = 0>>\nYou decide to miss school and instead go elsewhere. It’s too nice a day to ruin it by stressing yourself out at school. Hopefully this will help you relax and be more able to do work the next day.\n\nYou decide to walk to the [[park|park]]\n

Wake up.\n\nWake up.\n\n[[Wake up|wake up]].

<<set $taken_notes = 1>>\n\nYou try not to think of the rat as you continue to take notes. They’re not as neat or as useful as usual but they will have to do.\n\nEventually the lecture ends, and it is [[time to go|home time]].\n

<<$game_bought = 1>>\s\nThe [[game store|game store desc]] is reasonably small. You look around at the video games on sale. You probably don’t have enough for anything full price. You choose out something that looks interesting, another game from a series you quite enjoy. You get a bad feeling from a humanoid-looking shadow in the corner of the store, and decide to [[leave quickly|home]].\n

The [[cat|cat 2]] is still here. You are too tired to bother with it and ignore it, lying down in bed and staring at the ceiling. It feels like a lot has happened today when in fact there hasn’t been much at all.\n\nYou are [[hungry|dinner]].\n

You put an old favourite game of yours into your console and turn it on. You’ve always enjoyed this game. You start playing and, after only about half an hour, feel a tugging at the cord to your controller. A [[rattish|rat3]] creature is staring up at you with glinting eyes. You feel too uncomfortable to continue playing.\n\nYou could [[clean]] or you could [[have lunch|lunch]].\n

You stare straight at the lecture slides being projected at the wall and hope that the rat will be gone by the time you have to leave. You know you’ll have a harder time doing homework [[without notes|no notes]] but otherwise you’d have to disturb the rat and you do not want to do that.

<<if $bought_food == 0>>\s\nYou don’t have the most energy to make yourself [[food|food]], so you make something which is easy to make. Food is food though. \n<<endif>>\s\n<<if $bought_food == 1>>\s\nYou have nicer [[food|food]] than usual tonight to make, which makes a nice change.\n<<endif>>\s\nNothing in particular bothers you during dinner, but you feel like people are watching you through the windows. You draw the curtains and feel a bit better.\n\n<<if $taken_notes == 0>>\s\nYou decide to [[relax|relax]] before bed.\n\nYou decide to [[read a book|read]] before bed.\n<<endif>>\n<<if $taken_notes == 1>>\s\nYou should really do [[homework|homework notes]].\n\nYou are tired, you decide to [[relax|relax]].\n<<endif>>\n<<if $taken_notes == 2>>\s\nYou should really do [[homework|homework no notes]], even without your notes.\n\nYou haven’t got any notes. [[Panic|panic]] clutches at your chest.\n<<endif>>\n

That’s right, it’s a weekday. You probably have school today. Even if not, it would be nice to go outside. \n\nIt’s time to [[get ready|get ready]].\n

You start cleaning the house, it really needs it. You move dishes from your room to the sink and throw empty noodle packets in the bin. You even manage to make your bed. The house is starting to look better. Eventually you get too tired to continue and have to sit down for a while before deciding what to [[do next|what next]].

Lain Mitterer

You finally reach the small strip of shops near your house. There are many things that do not interest you, and only a couple that do; a small [[grocery store|food shops]] and a smaller [[video game store|game store]]. You only really have enough money to buy yourself one thing.

You tend to struggle with school. You struggle to concentrate and to get words in the right order. Things are constantly trying to get your attention during classes, whispering at your ears or nuzzling against your legs. It makes it difficult to concentrate.\n\nYou are at [[school|school]].\n

It is full of sale signs in obnoxiously bright colours that make your eyes hurt. It’s not the nicest place to be but at least you can buy nice things from it. You’ve always enjoyed video games, even though your parents never let you play any.\n\nYou are in the [[game store|game store]]\n