A helpful supermarket employee guides two guys to the organic aisle.\n\n<blockquote>- Special flours are not in the bakery section, we put them in the [[organic section]].</blockquote>\n(The overpriced section, that is.)
There's always some random vegetarian at Ernie's party. In spite of the buckets of food he prepares, only the cranberry sauce and the yams with marshmallows are vegetarian-friendly. The green bean casserole has reams of bacon, and the rest of the veggies touch chicken stock at some point.\n\nSo Ernie always has a pot with spaghetti marinara ready for the stray vegetarian. He believes it's even better than the turkey, because his grandmother was Italian and cooking great pasta is in his blood. He's a good cook, but perhaps his conviction that he could get a job at a Michelin restaurant is slightly misguided.\n\nWhile the rest of the guests eat their way into immobility, the Stray Vegetarian keeps eating spaghetti (without cheese if they're vegan) and drinking wine. Because vegetarians do not eat animal fat, alcohol gets to their head faster, so each year the vegerarian ends up falling asleep in a corner, a fork in one hand, and a paper cup with wine in the other.\n\nLast year, the vegetarian du jour was so tempted by the smell of roasted turkey and bacon that he sneaked some turkey on a plate and ate it in the kitchen while everyone else was chatting about how much it sucks to be an admin at an institute of higher education.\n\n<<display "Shopping list">>
Next to the refrigerated section, there is a barricade of bags of stuffing and a tower of cranberry sauce cans. How they are still standing in the middle of the hustle and bustle is a miracle of science.\n\nA slender lady ponders which stuffing she should get. She's too well dressed for this establishment -- grey hat with a red feather, line-perfect makeup over tanned skin, flowery dress under a grey jacket, high heels. A wiry hand on her fake ruby lips, another hand magically pushing aside the bags, one would never think choosing your groceries would be so classy. \n\nA closer look reveals the cracks under her make up are wrinkles, framing a set of dark eyes that hold a well of sadness. She finally chooses a bag and slowly shuffles to the household items aisle, the spell of her pose vanishing with every step.\n\n<<display "Shopping list">>
The checkout lines are a jumble of impatient customers and abandoned carts. The short lady with the light brown bob cut slowly wants to join the mob, but she's still waiting for her friend. Her cart only has a few things on the children's seat, while the rest is empty.<blockquote>- Are you done? I thought you had a list!</blockquote>Though the registers are fully staffed, but they are not fast enough. Many customers have their shopping cart [[full to the brim|pay for their groceries]].\n\n[[Self-service sounds like a good idea|Leave this place.]]<<
Not everyone has a family they can - or want to - go to for Thanksgiving. So Ernie takes care of everyone at his place. His apartment becomes the home of a fauna of different people:\n* procrastinators who waited too late to buy a plane ticket\n* rebels who want an excuse to leave their family gathering early\n* international students who don't know what this Thanksgiving thing is about\n* family-less people who find it painful to spend the holiday alone\n* a woman in her late 30s [[who wants to date Ernie|All the Single Ladies]] (every year a different one).\n\nThe food will be abundant, but everyone brings a little something to contribute to the feast. After a couple of years, it's become clear what is appropriate to bring. Dessert usually works. \n\n<<if $cartorbasket eq false>> Again, [[where are the baskets?]]\n<<elseif>><<display "Shopping list">><<endif>>
[[What will the next aisle bring?|rogue kid]]
![[Supermarketangst]]\n[[A short shopping story|Supermarketangst]]\n\nClara Fernández-Vara\n\nVersion 1.1\n
<<if visited ("rogue kid")>><<display "grumpy ladies">><<else>>Two ladies in yoga pants yell as they rush down the aisle.\n\n- Come on, we have to go! I left him alone, and God knows what he’s going to do.\n- Wait, I need some flour! Where is it?!\n- We have to get in line now! The lines are long and it’s going to take us forever! We need to get back!\n<<set $roguekid = 1>><<set $yogapants = true>>\n<<display "Shopping list">>\n<<endif>>\n
There's a middle-aged woman at Ernie's party, a different one every year. They may vary in hair color and size, but they follow the same model.\n* She arrives around 5.30, after another Thanksgiving meal.\n* Black dress, with some lace and/or sequined flowers.\n* Knock-off french perfume whiff.\n* High heels, which she discards after two minutes because they hurt her feet.\n* A lot of make-up, trying to look fresh and failing.\n* Ruby red lips, whether that becomes her or not (most times it doesn't)\n* Very happy to be at Ernie's, since her previous party was oh-so-boring but it was a family commitment so you know.\n\nAs the evening advances, she realizes that the invitation was not really to make her feel special. Ernie invites everyone he knows, and that's probably half the town. \n\nShe drinks a whole bottle of wine on her own. Blondes prefer red, and stain their lips black as if they were a vampire; brunettes prefer white and conscienciously smear the whole rim of their wine glass.\n\nAs the wine goes down, so does their energy and the capacity to follow the conversation.\n\nShe stumbles out of the door promptly at 8.30.\n\nErnie is a heartbreaker. He probably enjoys it.\n\n<<if $cartorbasket eq false>> Anyway, back to business. [[Where did the baskets and carts go?|where are the baskets?]]\n<<elseif>><<display "Shopping list">><<endif>>
Another flash of Ernie's drunken rant. Another pang. But the decision is taken.\n\nGetting stuffed and drunk with strangers is better than lonely dinner and booze alone.\n\n<<display "Shopping list">>
Shoppers neuroses rise up in a disharmonious choir.\n\nTwo students, speaking in Arabic, battle the crowds trying to get their shopping done. The supermarket throng confuses them, since this last-minute shopping fever is preparation for holidays that are foreign to them. The hubbub of family drama and grocery lists gets in the way of getting their tea and bread. \n\nThe communal stress of American celebrations can trap everyone, even if they do not know what is going on. \n<<if $cartorbasket eq false>> Again, [[where are the baskets?]]\n<<elseif>><<display "Shopping list">><<endif>>
The masses are overwhelming. It's okay to behave like a grumpy hermit today. It will also save plastic bags, since the grocery baggers put only one or two things in each bag because they're flimsy. \n\nThe scanner with the robotic lady voice works smoothly for a change. $24.62 total. \n\nNote: buying a pie would have been cheaper. \n\nHopefully, everyone will be so full of turkey tomorrow they will skip the "exotic fruit salad." Or they may be so drunk they don't mind that the mix tastes like regurgitated baby food.\n<<if $cartgot eq true>><<display "cart left">><<else>>\nThere's an empty checkout counter that looks like the perfect place to leave the shopping basket. <<endif>>\n\nThe doors of the supermarket open out and spit out the customers into the chilly evening.\n\nDarkness is comforting. \n\n!![[Restart|Start][state.restart()]]\n\n<small>Original Dinner Table Stylesheet from [[Glorious Trainwrecks.|http://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/5163/revisions/8505/view]]\nIf you have any feedback, please [[contact me|https://vagrantcursor.wordpress.com/contact-me/]]. </small>
The entrance only hosts three filthy shopping carts. Pushing a giant cart with the perennial faulty wheel amongst the crowds will be a Sysiphean task. A basket may be a better idea, but heaven knows where those went.\n<<actions "Get a shopping cart." "Find a basket.">>\n<<set $cartgot = false>><<set $cartorbasket = true>>
<<if $shoppinglist eq 6>>The shopping basket is empty.<<endif>>\n<<if $shoppinglist eq 5>>One item in the basket.<<endif>>\n<<if $shoppinglist eq 4>>Two items in the basket<<endif>>\n<<if $shoppinglist eq 3>>Three items in the basket<<endif>>\n<<if $shoppinglist eq 2>>four items in the basket<<endif>>\n<<if $shoppinglist eq 1>>'Tis done. Go home.<<endif>>\n\n\n\n
Do they have kiwis in Singapore? They must, they are nearer to New Zealand than the US East Coast. Yet again, it's a small country, so where the hell do they grow produce? Do they also endure last-minute holiday grocery shopping? Probably, but it may not be so agonizing. Singaporeans love shopping. They even have a National Shopping month.\n\nOkay, back to business.\n\n<<display "Shopping list">>
<<if $gaycoupleseen eq true>><<display "Found special flour">>\n<<else>>\nTwo guys baffled by the sheer amount of varieties of flour. \n\n<blockquote>- What did you say she needed?\n- Rice flour and tapioca starch, those are gluten free.\n- I don't see them...\n- There must be some, I'm sure. \n- I really want to bake her a special cake.</blockquote>\nThey lock hands, trying to grapple with their flour predicament.\n<<set $gaycoupleseen = true>>\n<<endif>>\n<<display "Shopping list">>\n
A tall man in his supermarket uniform stands patienly, listening to an old man who laments how fruit is not as good as it used to be. \n<blockquote>- This fruit has no taste. Looks nice, appetizing, but then you bite it and... nothing.</blockquote>The supermarket employee doesn't shake his head. Doesn't move. Just watches the monologue hoping that the customer realizes he's in the middle of picking up the apples that fell off and that nobody picks up because it must be somebody else's job. Badly paid job. \n\n<<display "Shopping list">>
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A tall guy lines up at the longest checkout line. His cart overflows with all the ingredients to make a lavish Thanksgiving dinner. \n\nWhen it's his turn, he dumps the contents of the cart on the cashier belt. The young woman and the counter, frazzled after hours of pre-holiday overtime, scans the items hastily and pushes them on the counter. The shopper says "Let me help you" and starts putting the items on the meager plastic bags himself, as people normally do in other parts of the world. This gesture is the nicest thing anyone has done to the overworked cashier all day, so she smiles and keeps pricing groceries while the tall guy fills his shopping cart again.\n\nHis altruism proves fake to the observing eye. Once everything is done, he pushes the cart away towards the exit. The bottom of the cart, below the basket, holds a huge turkey that had not seen the laser of the scanner. With all the supermarket tumult, nobody notices.\n\n[[It's time to go.|Leave this place.]]\n\n
This end of the baking aisle looks like a scene in //Lawrence of Arabia.// They really loaded up on sugar packages, which crotchety customers seem to have battled over. One can still [[sense the tension]] in the air. The floor is covered in colorful sugar, the whitest, finest sand. \n\nAmongst the piles of torn packages, there is a perfectly folded one with no holes or nicks. Straight to the basket.\n\n[[The other side of the baking aisle|baking a cake]] seems a bit more organized.\n<<set $gotsugar = true>><<set $shoppinglist =$shoppinglist -1 >>\n<<display "Shopping list">>
Alright, no cream. The fruit will not look as pretty without the creamy lacing. The rest of the guests will not miss it. Except it would have been delicious.\n\nAnd fatty. \n\nNobody will miss a few calories in a gargantuan holiday meal, though.\n\nThe [[stuffing display box]] has somehow appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the aisle, like an alien monolith.\n<<set $gotcream = true>><<set $shoppinglist =$shoppinglist -1 >>\n<<display "Shopping list">>
Celebrating the holidays of one's host country is a way to try to fit in. Get acquainted with the customs. Make friends.\n\nErnie celebrates Thanksgiving as an act of rebellion. His house becomes the refuge of broken hearts, lost souls, and stranded travellers. Being surrounded by people in pain makes his less so. \n\nTime to sail on. Perhaps Thanksgiving is not so bad alone. \n\nTV-binging and Chinese food. Total assimilation to the local customs.\n<<if $cartgot eq true>><<display "cart left">><<else>>\nThere's an empty checkout counter that looks like the perfect place to leave the shopping basket. \n<<endif>>\n\nThe doors of the supermarket open through the supermarket angst.\n\nWelcome to the chilly darkness.\n!![[Restart|Start][state.restart()]]\n\n<small>Original Dinner Table Stylesheet from [[Glorious Trainwrecks.|http://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/5163/revisions/8505/view]]\nIf you have any feedback, please [[contact me|https://vagrantcursor.wordpress.com/contact-me/]].</small>
Family of three. Her eyebrows are thick but outlined, a bit too high on her forehead, so her face looks like a witch mask. Her coat is out of the racks of Wallgreens. She’s in her twenties, and holds the hand of a little girl, confused by the bustling shoppers.\n\nHis dark jacket is clean and cheap, probably not good enough for this cold. He holds the shopping basket--every item in it seems to have been put in after careful deliberation. A small turkey, stuffing, gravy, paper napkins, canned potatoes. Not a large dinner, probably not expecting guests.\n\n<blockquote>\n- What about dessert? - he asks. The little girl looks up with a beaming smile at the mention of something sweet.\n- Dunno. We can cobble something together at home. There's ice-cream.</blockquote>\n\nThey walk away, leaving behind the temptations on the shelves.\n\n<<display "Shopping list">>\n
<<set $cartgot = true>>One of the carts is slightly cleaner. Dousing it with disinfectant might reduce the possibility of getting skin poisoning from pushing it around. So there go the whole contents of the hand sanitizer dispenser at the entrance.\n\nNow it's time to enter the [[supermarket labyrinth]].\n\n<<display "Shopping list">>\n
The first Thanksgiving dinner at Ernie's was uncanny, especially for foreign eyes, unacustomed to the American extravaganza of the family dinner everyone loves to hate.\n\nThe house welcomes the guests with a warm cloud of apple spice candle and turkey roast in the oven. The lights are dim, \n\nHe sets up a long table with an immaculate table cloth, with golden garlands of autumn leaves on the fringe. Every plate has a golden rim - one or two break every year, but Ernie seems to have an eternal supply. The cutlery is a collection of different sets, maybe [[stolen]] from different restaurants; it's carefully polished so it glimmers under the light of red candles.\n\nThe turkey is served in a shiny plate, and the gravy comes in a fine china jar.\n\nThe only thing Ernie misses every year is napkins. He says his sister took all of them one day, and doesn't want to give them back. So everyone ends up wiping their faces with paper towels. One day, there weren't enough paper towels and they had to resort to toilet paper. Thankfully, it was the good kind, so there were less bits of random paper stuck to people's faces at the end of the meal.\n\nThis year will be different. \n\n<<display "Shopping list">>
<<if $shoppinglist <= 0>><<display "quit shopping option">><<else>>\n*[[Go home and enter the shit list.]]\n*[[Continue shopping.]]<<endif>>
Supermarketangst\n\n
*[[Go home and enter the shit list.]]\n*[[Just finish shopping|Leave this place.]]
Two women in their forties hold a basket together. They do not seem to have a shopping list, they are just looking around. They are taking a strange romantic stroll. It's a mystery how they can leisuredly shop when the aisles are teeming with querulous customers.\n\n<blockquote>- Let's get some nibbles and then go to the [[liquor store|No Wine]].</blockquote>\n<<display "Shopping list">>
The refrigerated section has gone through the dairy apocalypse. The emptiness of the shelves is the more glaring under the flourescent lights. Fresh cream is no more. Not even half-and-half, that watery excuse to flavor coffee.\n\nWhat to do?<<display "whipped cream choice">>\n
Ignore the pain. There's always someone weird that ends up at Ernie's and becomes entertaining. And the food is good.\n\n<<display "Shopping list">>
There's no end to the butter, or what one would rather believe is butter rather than trying to answer the question "what can be yellow, greasy, and edible and is not butter?" Looking into the [[ingredients label]] may reveal uncomfortable secrets.\n\nSome packages are so expensive the foil they're wrapped with must be made of real silver.<<set $gotbutter = true>><<set $shoppinglist =$shoppinglist -1 >>\n\n<<display "Shopping list">>
After letting the cart go and taking a couple of steps back, a shop assistant diligently takes the cart away, taking the burden away.
Part of the ritual of Thanksgiving is listen to Ernie trash-talk people who are not at his celebration. The rant takes place in the kitchen, where he lists the grievances he has against his friends.\n\nOne didn't think of forwarding Ernie's resume to their boss (but did he send them the resume?)\n\nSomeone else didn't invite him for dinner after he did them a favour. \n\nAnother send a text for his birthday instead of a card.\n\nHis guests listen silently, wondering when it'll become their turn to be striken off Ernie's friend list and shamed in his kitchen while he cooks.\n\n<<display "Shopping list">>
A loud alarum getting closer and closer.\nA nine-year-old catastrophe turns the corner at full speed. \n<blockquote><strong><big>WOOAAAAAAAAHHHHH WOOAAAAAAAAHHHHH</big></strong></blockquote>His eyes are fixated on a shiny piece of plastic he's darting through the aisle, avoiding customers and shelves. Nothing, nobody is going to get in his way. Turns the corner as his sound effects continue.\n<blockquote><strong><big>WOOAaaaaaahhhh</big></strong>\n\n- BOOOOBYY!</blockquote>\n<<if $yogapants is true>>One of the ladies in yoga pants yells to the catastrophe down the aisle.<<else>>A lady in her yoga pants as loud as the dashing catastrophe runs down the aisle.<<endif>>\n<blockquote>- Where did you go?</blockquote>\nShe ignores the fingers pointing to the left. Perhaps she has a radar.\n\n<<display "Shopping list">>\n
The flour shelves are a sturdy sandbag barricade. The regular flour packets are padded in white, blue, yellow and brown, while next to it lie bags of different shades of white, corresponding to all the ingredients one can grind and turn into some sort of flour.\n<<if $gaycoupleseen eq true>><<display "Found special flour">><<else>>\nTwo guys baffled by the sheer amount of flour packages. \n<blockquote>- What did you say she needed?\n- Rice flour and tapioca starch, those are gluten free.\n- I don't see them...\n- There must be some, I'm sure. \n- I really want to bake her a special cake.</blockquote>\nThey lock hands, trying to grapple with their flour predicament.\n<<set $gaycoupleseen = true>><<endif>><<set $gotflour = true>><<set $shoppinglist =$shoppinglist -1 >>\n<<display "Shopping list">>
<blockquote>Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.\nEggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.\nEggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.\nEggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.\nEggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.</blockquote>\n\n\nNever figured out the difference between them, apart from the color and maybe the size. Supermarket shelves are there to make one feel [[confused and overwhelmed]]. Whatever is cheapest. They're all gooey transparent and yellow inside, right? <<set $goteggs = true>><<set $shoppinglist =$shoppinglist -1 >>This aisle is really cold.\n\n<<if $roguekid is 1>><<display "next aisle">><<else>>\n<<display "Shopping list">><<endif>>
Ice cream may not be the best thing for the wintry season and it's awful for sensitive teeth. But this is an emergency. The frozen food section has been plundered almost as much as the rest of the supermarket, except for a pile of [[frozen turkey corpses]].\n\nThey should have restocked the ice cream shelves big time, so your desert is saved. But, alas. No vanilla bean. Closest thing to a frozen treat with wide appeal is vanilla with salty caramel and chocolate. \n\nGood enough. \n<<set $gotcream = true>><<set $shoppinglist =$shoppinglist -1 >>\n<<display "Shopping list">>
These two short ladies in wollen coats look like sisters. But they're probably just two people who have spent a lot of time together. One has short dark hair, the other has a light brown bob cut.\n\n- Do you know what you're getting for shopping? - the bob cut asks.\n- I... yes? I have a list. \n- Well, okay. Then I'll wait for you and we can go together.\n<<set $grumpyladies = true>>\n<<display "Shopping list">>
Young woman, short, out of a women’s lifestyle magazine cover but looks human. She rummages the shelves, looking for the right bag of chopped walnuts. Boyfriend stands back, talking on the phone really [[loud]].\n<blockquote>- What do you think? Are walnuts okay?\n- Yeah, yeah, whatever... Oh, fuck you! Really?</blockquote>\nShe realizes that the swearing is not directed to her just half a second too late. Grabs a bag of cashews and walks away, embarrassed. Boyfriend does not even notice.\n<blockquote>- No way! That guy is such a loser.</blockquote>\n<<display "Shopping list">>\n
Thanksgiving can be as stressful for the immigrants as well as the visitors. An alien family holiday for people who are usually far from their family. \n\nIs it better to feel alone, or get implanted in a family where you don't quite fit?
The vegetable and fruit section seems is [[a bit quieter]] than the rest of the market. These are the spoils of eleventh-hour shopping. It's been a fierce battle, and the [[market employees]] are already cleaning up the mess. \n\nThe crates of fruit look desolate, as they stand full of perfectly waxed, smell-less produce the rest of the year. People want to eat [[something wholesome|The Vegetarian]] to compensate for all the other delicious but oh-so-unhealthy foods. As if an apple washed off the grease of deep-fried turkey and reams of ham. \n\nA bit of scavenging results in two soft kiwis, two asian pears, and four persimmons, or whatever these orange balls are. It'll be an exotic fruit salad, from [[Singapore]].\n<<set $gotfruit = true>><<set $shoppinglist =$shoppinglist -1 >>\n<<display "Shopping list">>
The aisles stretch along a single corridor, but that doesn't make them any less confusing. The logic that dictates the distribution of products in each section is still unfathomable, even after living in this country for a couple of years. Every shop groups their products in different ways, the only constants being fruit and vegetables, dairy and frozen sections, and the organic section. Everything else is a crapshoot. \n\nPeople only end up in the [[greeting cards]] section when they get lost.\n\n<<display "Shopping list">>
So if it's not butter, what is it then? Let the label reveal the secret: a blend of different oils, soy oil, water... buttercream! True it's not quite butter, but it looks like cheating. Better stick to the real thing.\n\nFragile lady in oversized coat has striken conversation with young athletic man gazing at the heavy cream shelf.\n<blockquote>- Excuse me, do you know how can there be low-fat half-and-half?</blockquote>Instead of shrugging her, the man diligently grabs a carton and reads the label for her.<blockquote>- Let me see. It says here it has skimmed milk, corn syrup, and then a lot of chemicals. </blockquote>The lady is apalled. <blockquote>- So wouldn't it be better for you to have the real thing?\n- I'm sure it is, although I prefer heavy cream and just put a little.\n- That's good too. So what is lactose free milk? How can there be such a thing?</blockquote>The man grabs a carton and starts reading the label to her with a smile. \n\n<<display "Shopping list">>
- This supermarket is not busy enough. Needs people to dodge, more people screaming on their phone. They need to get in your way, right now they are only offshoots.\n\n- Implement restart button. - DONE\n\n- Lexia called "loud" is brief. Could be part of another lexia.\n\n- Flour lexia is very short. There should be a story with the gay couple - what happened to it?\n\n- There's a variable called $cartgot, which if set to true should result of difficulties in navigating the supermarket.\n\n- Check shopping list when adding the other ingredients. Need to take out the items from the list and check that the list is done.\n\n- There should be a menu of guests to the Thanksgiving dinner, like there's a list of shopping items. As the player visits each node, they should disappear.\n\n\n\nPOLISH\n- Make sure the word "you" doesn't appear.\n- Credit stylesheets from http://www.glorioustrainwrecks.com/node/5163\n- Dialogue should be indented.\n- show the list items you got striken out but not a link any more instead of disappearing.\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nDONE\n- Change Gene's name for Ernie.\n\nIntegrate gay couple story. Add variable that checks if you've met them before or not. DONE\n\n- If players get to Plan B: Fruit salad (in the Pie crust lexia), the options to bake a cake should disappear, maybe? (eggs and flour). - DONE\n\n- is the mini story of the rice flour completely implemented? YES\n\n- BUG: In shopping list lexia (appears when you're done) the link appears as /% actions[[Leave this place.]] %/ - FIXED\n\n- Add flour and butter to the list. (flour can lead to the Baking a cake lexia) DONE\n\n- If players get to Plan B: Fruit salad (in the Pie crust lexia), the options to flour should disappear from the list DONE (that was a pain)
The premises welcome customers with a smell of crowds and fresh groceries. The rumble of Thanksgiving Eve propels everyone forward, in the hopes that they can get out of here soon.\n\nHaving to shop for holiday celebrations opens the road to procrastination. A reminder of being [[far from home]], in transition, surrounded by people who are nice enough, but not [[real friends]]. Holiday groceries are always an agonizing last-minute affair.\n\nTomorrow's family-less dinner should be fine, though. The turkey and rest of the trappings are Ernie's business. Guests bring dessert or wine. Not knowing a jot about vino, other than it's red, white or sparkly, and reveals how stupid people can be when drank in enough quantities, the only option left is producing something sweet to share with the other guests.\n\nMaking a chocolate pie would be easy but trite. This may be last minute shopping, but one can pretend it's experimental cooking. \n\nThe shopping list is not long, but not short enough to be able to cradle them. So [[where are the baskets?]]\s\n<<silently>><<set $gotcream = false>><<set $gotfruit = false>><<set $gotcrust = false>><<set $goteggs = false>><<set $gotsugar = false>><<set $gotnapkins = false>><<set $gotbutter = false>><<set $gotflour = false>><<set $shoppinglist = 8>><<set $cartorbasket = false>><<set $gaycoupleseen = false>><<set $quitshoppingchance = false>><<set $roguekid to either (0,1)>><<set $yogapants = false>><<endsilently>>\s\n
<<if $shoppinglist <= 0>>[[Get in line and get out.]]\n<<else>><blockquote>Need to buy:\n<<if $gotcream eq false>>[[whipped cream]]<html></br></html><<endif>>/%\n%/<<if $gotfruit eq false>>[[fruit]]<html></br></html><<endif>>/%\n%/<<if $gotflour eq false>>[[flour]]<html></br></html><<endif>>/%\n%/<<if $gotbutter eq false>>[[butter]]<html></br></html><<endif>>/%\n%/<<if $goteggs eq false>>[[eggs]]<html></br></html><<endif>>/%\n%/<<if $gotsugar eq false>>[[sugar]]<html></br></html><<endif>>/%\n%/<<if $gotnapkins eq false>>[[napkins]]<html></br></html><<endif>>/%\n%/<<if $gotcrust eq false>>[[pie crust]]<html></br></html><<endif>>/%<</blockquote>\n%/<<endif>>\n/% Apparently the key for the conditions to work above is to include the empty comment markings between each condition; otherwise, if any of the conditions is false, it stops processing the rest. Doesn't make any fucking sense but it works. %/
The supermarket went overboard stocking on frozen turkeys. Two women stroll down the meat section, amused at the amount of oversized poultry still cluttering the shelves. They consider picking up one, but they realize cooking it may be too much work. They look at each other with a smile and move to the next aisle.\n\nSpent too long in the ice cream section. Eyelids are getting frosty. Better move on.\n\n<<display "Shopping list">>
Ernie steals things. His glasses are a collection of pint glasses purloined from different pubs - the kind of thing that poor college students do to supply their kitchen, but Ernie is in his 40s. \n\nOne drunk night, he boasted of how he went to this pub where all the rich college kids go, and pickpocketed a particularly all-American kid. He scored seven hundred bucks, which he put to upgrade his turntable and throw in a party.\n\nAt times it's hard to tell if Ernie is for real, or if he's a pretend [[sociopath]].\n\n<<display "Shopping list">>
This couple always comes to Ernie's place for Thanksgiving, the ying-yang of all couples. He's tall, loud and bald; she's small, quiet and has short hair. He's from the Bronx, she's from Korea.\n\nThanksgiving does not seem to quite start until they arrive. They bring a bunch of vinils and play them on Ernie's turntable; then contemporary jazz fills the room and everyone relaxes.\n\nTheir energy is contagious, their ying and yang spins and absorbs everyone in its whirl. \n\nSuch a happy couple must have a dark side.\n\nAs the wine flows, stories cascade. The ying yang couple starts talking about the friends that have offended them, and how they have written letters to them to tell them that they didn't want to be their friend any more. Their ex-friends offenses vary from not sending a card for Christmas to not buying any of the expensive jewelry she sells online even though they are well off and they could spend it. Whoever gets a one-on-one with either of them, they'll start saying how Ernie is so well off and has his own company but has never offered them a job or a reference. They bring the best wine every Thanksgiving, but Ernie just says thank you and never sends them a card.\n\nEvery listener wonders what the couple says behind their backs.\n\n\n\n\n
Bringing pie to a holiday dinner is a no-brainer. Why bother [[baking a cake]]? Get the pre-made crust and fill it with something that has lots of sugar in it.\n\nExcept there are only a few crusts left, and they are mostly cracked or have whole chunks missing. Put your fruit in any of these and the bits of fruit will spread out all over the place.\n\nForget the crust then. Time for plan B: fruit salad.\n<<set $gotcrust = true>><<set $goteggs = true>><<set $gotflour = true>><<set $gotbutter = true>><<set $shoppinglist =$shoppinglist -4 >><<display "Shopping list">>\n
*[[Go without cream]]\n*[[Find something else]]
<<if $quitshoppingchance eq true>><<display "Too late now">><<else>>Alcohol tends to reveal the true side of people in the right quantity. The point when one is close to passing out can show one's true humanity.\n\nErnie got really drunk last year. At the beginning he was funny, the endearing and charming host that can get enough people to come to his party on a family holiday. A bottle of wine later, and with several guests gone, he started telling stories. The guests laughed because they were all his adventures in bars, full of bravado and brawls. \n\nThen he started making fun of his former roommates. \n\nThen he complained about the guest who comes to his parties without bringing anything ever.\n\nThen he badmouthed the guests who had left.\n\nIt got awkward. It was time to leave and let Ernie complain at the walls.\n\nGoing back to the party this year is a matter of necessity, not feeling alone and left out. Or maybe it's a matter of not wanting to feel uncomfortable in the knowlege that not showing up means becoming part of Ernie's drunken umbrage. \n<<set $quitshoppingchance = true>><<display "avoid thanksgiving choice">><<endif>>\n\n
Any large gathering is an invitation to polystyrene littering all over the United States. The [[unnecessary expenditure]] on napkins, paper plates and plastic forks may be a way to compensate for having to deal with the family. That, or [[a lot of alcohol]]. \n\nDisposable tableware is not a form of therapy, though. Ernie's [[delicious dinner]] deserves something better than rough paper towels, though these disposable napkins are way fancier and more expensive than initially planned. The slighly nicer but cheaper napkins with flowers are sold out, the only ones left are satin-like with red and orange lace-like patterns. There is a chance that instead of cleaning one's face they'll leave an orange tinge on one's skin face. But they look fancy.\n<<set $gotnapkins = true>><<set $shoppinglist =$shoppinglist -1 >>\n<<display "Shopping list">>
<<if $grumpyladies is true>><<display "grumpy ladies 2">><<else>>Customers throng about the checkout lines, like the worst possible melee in the world. They're all eager to pay for their groceries and get out.\n\nAll the cash registers are fully staffed, but they are not fast enough. Many customers have their shopping cart [[full to the brim|pay for their groceries]].\n\nNot being from around here, having someone whose only job is putting things in bags feels a bit uncomfortable. Some Americans often expect someone to do annoying things for them, such as bagging groceries or clean the movie theatre after them. Everyone doing their bit to keep things nice is not even a concept.\n\n[[Self-service checkout sounds like a good idea|Leave this place.]]<<endif>>
The two guys are over the moon. \n\n<blockquote>- Oh, look! Rice flour, white rice flour, tapioca flour. This is it!\n- Anything else I can help you with?\n- No, this is perfect. Thanks so much!\n- Oh, she's going to be so happy we found it. \n- Yeah, it's great.</blockquote>\nThe two guys smile at each other. Better look away and let them kiss in private. \n\n<<display "Shopping list">>
The supermarket looms in the twilight sky. The automatic doors chomp the stream of costumers coming into the store. Intermittent muzak makes the munching sounds.\n\nNot the type of place one would like to enter in the eve of a big holiday, but this is an emergency. \n\n[[Follow the bright light.]]\n\n
Clara Fernández-Vara
The crowds form a thick wall, but with a push here and an elbow there is enough to open the way. The baskets lie in disarrayed piles underneath every cashier station, discarded as customers drop their goods on the conveyor belt. \n\nOne of the baskets looks rather new, with no bits or paper or plastic left over by previous holders. There's almost no grey gook on the bottom too. We have a winner.\n\nTime to enter the [[supermarket labyrinth]]\n\n<<display "Shopping list">>
Every U.S. state has a different hang-up about alcoholic drinks. In this state, there's a special shop to buy anything that will get one drunk. No booze in the supermarket. The Puritans' legacy.\n\nIs it possible to get drunk with cooking wine?\n\nNah, too salty.\n\n<<display "Shopping list">>
Holidays work like an amplifier: people who are happy soar in glistening bliss; those who are not, sink in the dregs of humanity.\n\nErnie's Thanksgiving dinner is a museum of human misery every year. It's like a horror movie where a bunch of randos end up in a mystery house, and they don't have anything to do with each other, and somebody dies, and then someone else. But nobody dies at Ernie's, they only get loud and get euphoric because of the [[booze|a lot of alcohol]], and then when they leave and walk into the night with an full stomach but an empty heart, shuffling back to the sad lives that they were trying to escape when they went to Ernie's.\n\n<<display "Shopping list">>
Covered in shop-grey gook, a torn greeting card has been abandoned in a corner. The message is barely legible, the ink washed away.\n\n<blockquote><em>Dear G----------- and L---------------\nSorry ----- late. I ------\n---- surpr-------\n---- lov-- y--- b-----</em></blockquote>\nA final tangle of lines seems to show the writer gave up in frustration\n\nLooks like it never reached the addressee.\n\n<<display "Shopping list">>\n\n\n\n