[[eat pant|eatpant1]]
(set: $irnbru to false)
(set: $dogs to false)you eat pant.
it is made of birch bark covered in blistering hot syrup.
sticky
[[ow]]
you double over in pain. then quadruple? is that the correct word? your body folds in half repeatedly. like 4 times. it's not very precise. you should start over.
> [[start over]]with most paper, if it's been creased, there's no way to really get rid of the creases. a good ironing works on your body though. you get out the IRON and plug it in.
> [[wait for it to heat up]]it takes a long time for the IRON to get up to temperature. in the mean time you
> [[weave your fingers together]]
> [[eat a hotdog]]
> [[kill a vampire]]it's too much of a pain to get the LOOM out, so you don't.
[[dummy.|iron]]all your DOGS are cold. you can heat em up when the iron gets hot though.
you grab the DOGS.
(set: $dogs to true)
> [[twiddle your thumbs until it's heated|iron]]you think about killing a VAMPIRE. there's one in the refrigerator you could stake. you'd rather save it for later though. you walk to the refrigerator anyway, and grab an ICE COLD CAN OF REFRESHING IRN BRU. Irn Bru for Irning, you think. heh. nice.
(set: $irnbru to true)
> [[drink]]
> [[dont|iron]]mmmmmmmm. ICE COLD CAN OF REFRESHING IRN BRU is very good. best soda. it tastes like bubblegum and death by toothpaste.
(set: $irnbru to false)
[[looks like the IRON's done heating|iron]]the IRON's finally up to temp, and you're ready to go.
$dogs[first, you heat up your DOGS. after working up enough saliva, you shove all of the DOGS into your mouth at the same time. they squelch as you chew.]
you pop off one of your arms, and lie the rest of you on the ironing board. you flatten yourself out with your free arm. you push the IRON to your back. your skin sizzles. just how you like it.
with all the creases erased, you can get back to folding.
you make sure to precrease very precisely this time, pushing each edge right up to the last crease.
> [[fold a flasher]]
> [[fold a hyperbolic parabaloid]]spirals are so cool. before, when you've folded another person into a flasher, you always had a hard time with the collapsing step. when it's yourself though, once you get the muscle memory down, and the precreases set up, you can do it without thinking.
> [[flash]]it's a cool shape, but inverting all those creases is always so tedious :/
eventually you finish though. you look in the mirror. you look so sexy right now.
> [[do a sex]]
you explode outward and collapse inward, setting your room on fire.
$irnbru[ > [[spray irn bru on the flames]] ]
> [[aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]]you roll around on the floor (really it's more like flopping) until sand pours out of your creases. that one was real satisfying. maybe you should cum again? you pass out before you can build up the energy.
> [[wake up]]it's like 2am now. you want to tell yourself that that was a waste of an afternoon, but shelby stops you. thanks for the self-esteem, shelby! you go back to sleep. you'll get euclidean and vacuum up the sand in the morning.
> [[play again|eat pant]]the ICE COLD CAN OF REFRESHING IRN BRU puts out the flames. you always get too excited and forget to go outside before flashing.
shelby says sorry for forgetting to remind you.
[[it's okay, shelby. ]]
your house burns down. dang. oh well.
> [[play again|eat pant]][[you say you're sorry for almost burning your house down.]][[shelby says it's okay too.]]
you kiss.
[[it's a nice moment.]]<span class="rainbow">you roll out the window and flash all around the neighborhood, setting everyone else on fire. </span>
YOU WIN
> [[play again|eat pant]][[you kiss]]
↶↷eat pant