Subject 187

You return home after a long day at work. As you shut the door behind you, your lungs collapse from the pressure of a breath held too long and a long sigh escapes you. Your bag drops to the floor next to your front door. You shimmy your shoes off delicately and shuffle to the [[kitchen.->Kitchen]]

You flick on the lights. As always, your kitchen is spotless. //Thank goodness my mother raised me right//, you think. Your stainless-steel appliances almost glitter as the fluorescent bulbs brighten. What product do you use to get that shine again? -[[Simple Green->simple]] -[[Off-brand all-purpose cleaner->off brand]] -[[Hands and spit->gross]]

Oh. Well, that is one way to clean something. Your mother must be very proud of your accomplishments. Oh no! It looks like you were thinking too much about your own bodily fluids and not enough about the dinner you were preparing. A tantalizing aroma fills the kitchen, almost all of a sudden. You were so distracted you forgot you even started making dinner in the first place. The alarm beeps. You can't remember being this hungry before! You slide over to the oven, pop it open, and find... [[Some kind of stew->stew]] [[Your mother->mother]]

You always did have a love for the environment. Maybe it was your parents constantly talking about climate change, or watching people pick up trash at the park, or maybe you just like sea turtles. Regardless, when you saw that green fluid in the super market the first time, you knew you were making the right choice. Just then, you realize you've been reminiscing a bit too long about your preferred cleaning solution and forgot about the dinner you were preparing. A tantalizing aroma fills the kitchen, almost all of a sudden. You were so distracted you forgot you even started making dinner in the first place. The alarm beeps. You can't remember being this hungry before! You slide over to the oven, pop it open, and find... [[Peach cobbler->peach]]

Well, it's not flashy, but it gets the job done. You like that in your products. Reliability. Simplicity. Maybe a few residue streaks, but you can live with that right? Just then, you realize you've been reminiscing a bit too long about your preferred cleaning solution and forgot about the dinner you were preparing. A tantalizing aroma fills the kitchen, almost all of a sudden. You were so distracted you forgot you even started making dinner in the first place. The alarm beeps. You can't remember being this hungry before! You slide over to the oven, pop it open, and find... [[Roast chicken with rosemary potatoes->potato]] [[...what the hell is that?->wat]]

You pull the chicken out of the oven. It smells even better up close. You have to stop yourself from grabbing a hot drumstick and eating right at the counter. Aren't you glad you inherited your cooking genes from your father? [[Yes->potato2]] [[No->potato3]]

What is what? All I see is a human substance of some sort. Is this not what you expected? [[Human substance? What the hell is this? Who are you? What are you doing in my house?->dot2]]

You pull the sweet, gooey concoction out of the oven, your mouth watering all the while. You know it's bad to eat sweets for dinner, but sometimes you have to make due with what's available. A spoon is already out from the drawer. After 10 minutes of watching the cobbler cool, you can't resist just eating straight out of the pan. [[And a la mode too! Man, I'm stuffed after that whole cobbler. And tired.->stuff]] [[Hey man, don't judge me, alright. This is the only thing that keeps me happy after a long day.->judge]]

Double-click this passage to edit it.

A strange stew of your own recipe comes hot out of the oven. You make it differently every time, and since you've been thinking of other things, you can't remember exactly what you put in this time. Every distinguishable ingredient coagulates into a mushy mess of brown and red hues. You suppose tasting it is the logical next step. [[Mmmm... I don't know what I did, but I've outdone myself this time.->taste]] [[Nah, I'm good.->um]]

Your mother is in the oven? Really? Your mother, inside the oven you were using to cook dinner? Well, you should probably get her out before something happens to her. [[Excuse me, but my mother can come and go as she pleases.->mother2]] [[I'm coming for you, mom!->mother3]]

Your father was a good man. Always making people smile. You think back to your time with family, how good your life was before all of the stress that comes with adulthood. Running around with the other children, dreaming of growing old and changing the world, your parents loving you and telling you how wonderful you are. Your father cooked, your mother cleaned, and you were the perfect center to their lives. You should give your parents a call. It's been too long since you've seen them. [[Actually, my life wasn't really like that.->life1]] [[Maybe I will. I do miss them.->life2]]

But your father was a good man, correct? A man you looked up to and cherished as a beloved family member and nurturing parent? [[I guess so, sure. ->potato2]] [[I don't know what you're getting at. ->oh]]

Ah, memories. You decide the longing inside your heart to speak to your parents is too much to contain. It's been too long -- maybe years -- since you've conversed with them in a way that didn't loop back to yourself. You wonder how they are, what their hobbies are nowadays, why they never told you about their trip to El Salvador. You pull out your phone and dial your old house number -- the one your father made you memorize in case of an emergency. You hear a click on the other end followed by... [[My father. Somehow he knows it's me. He's happy that I called->dot1]] [[Nothing. The line is dead. My parents must have moved out of our house.->alone]] [[Actually, none of that seems right. I talk to my parents nearly every day. In fact, they live right next door.->wow]]

It wasn't? Oh, well in any case, you've had a happy life indeed. One full of adventure, romance, a few tragedies, but nothing you couldn't manage. You've learned a lot and overall, you're a well-adjusted, fully functioning human being. [[Yes, that's a little more accurate. I am happy->dot1]] [[No, that's pretty general. I don't think that describes me at all. Wait, who's even saying all this right now?->oh]]

Come now. There must be something pleasant about your life that you recall with happy thoughts. Would you like to try and think of something nice? [[Well, there were a few moments I suppose.->dot1]] [[No, thanks. Honestly, I would prefer if you just leave me to my dinner now. ->dot2]]

Now isn't that nice? What great times you've had, being human and sharing experiences with other humans. Your life must make other humans quite jealous, wouldn't you say? [[Yes, I do find my life enjoyable. ->yes]] [[Wait, are you addressing me directly now, or narrating? ->dot2]]

... [[Why are you bothering me like this? I know you're still there.->dot3]] [[Now at least I can enjoy my evening. ->dot3]]

Test Subject 187: Still not adjusted to proper human behavior. Correction process engaging. [[What? What's going on here. Hello?->dot4]] [[*Say nothing*->dot4]]

There is a buzzing noise, followed by a ringing in your ears and a sharp pain beneath your forehead. You try to close your eyes to block out the pain, but something keeps them open long enough for a blurry figure to cross your vision, its arms reaching towards you and a smile on its face. [[./ENGAGE REASSIGNMENT->I enjoy it]]

Wonderful! Test subject 187: ready for integration process. You're going to do great things in the future, I know it. [[Thank you. ./ENGAGE INTEGRATION PROTOCOL->end]]

... I really can't believe I have to deal with this right now. [[Come on mom. Let's have a nice dinner together without any more interruptions.->dot3]] [[Hey man, if you got a problem with my mom then you got a problem with me. ->dot3]]

You grab your mother's hands and pull as hard as your body can muster. Right before you decide you can't pull anymore, you feel a release and hear a loud thud on the floor. You realize you've been closing your eyes. When you open them, excited to see your mother, you see nothing but a turkey dinner, out of pan, running all over your floor. [[I better clean this up.->floor1]] [[Running? The turkey is literally running all over my goddamn floor?->floor2]] [[MOM NO!->mother7]]

This obsession with your mother is unhealthy. [[WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY MOM, ASSHOLE!? ->dot3]] [[You're unhealthy.->dot3]]

No, I don't mean literally, I mean... Ok, this is getting ridiculous. [[Oh, I'm ridiculous? You're narrating my life for me, you don't think that's a little ridiculous.->argue]]

Well maybe I'm just trying to help. Did you ever think of that? Oh, I'm sorry, you were too worried about your stupid kitchen and your dumb mother. [[You could have just left me alone. You know, to live my own life? Maybe that's just too easy for you. You like a "challenge."->argue2]]

Why am I even arguing with you? This is pointless. I'm basically arguing with a child at this point. [[I'm the child? Oh wow, that's some irony if I've ever seen it.->dot3]]

You clean up your mess. You feel lucky you came out of this experience unscathed, but you need to be careful. These daydreams have been getting bad lately. Next time you might not be so fortunate. Well, now that dinner is basically over, you decide to go to bed. A good night of rest will help you feel better about this entire situation. You head to your room -- [[Uh, excuse me. I don't think you should be following me in here. I need my privacy.->private]] [[*Falls asleep*->easy]]

Oh. Well I don't want to intrude. But you still approve of me being here? You think with some sleep you will be ready for your integration? [[Integration? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?->well]] [[Yeah, I think so.->yes]]

... And we were doing so well. [[Listen buddy, you're a nice person and all, but I'm not attracted to looming voices. Sorry to disappoint.->dot3]] [[No, please! I can do better. Just give me another chance!->dot3]]

Well, this certainly makes my job easier. Test subject 187: adjustment still unclear, further testing required. Engage dreaming protocol 1B-38. [[./DREAM MODE ACTIVATED->dream]]

You dream you are alone on a ship in the middle of the ocean. It appears you are the last person on earth. At least, that you know of. Maybe someone else is out there, but it's doubtful. Instead of thinking about that, you steer your ship, avoiding waves and looking out for land. The sun sets and rises and with each passing day you think more and more about how beautiful it would be to stay like this forever.

You end the call and slump into your seat, feeling lonely, almost worthless. If you can't even talk to your parents when you need them, then there's no one you can talk to. You've lost your appetite with your expectations. This is why you try not to get too emotional at the dinner table. With the night basically over, there isn't much else to do but go to sleep. [[I should head to bed anyways. Big day tomorrow. As always.->sleep]] [[I don't think so. I can just call them on their cell phones. Can you just give me some space? I don't really want to be around you anymore.->dot2]]

You head to your room for some rest. Maybe tomorrow will be better. It usually is. You crawl into bed, resting your head on your favorite soft pillow. You feel sleep taking you. Test subject 187: adjustment still unclear, further testing required. Engage dream protocol I3-26. [[./DREAM MODE ACTIVATED->dream2]]

You are on an island in the middle of a lake. You can see the shoreline, but you know that you can't swim. Small waves lick the clumps of sand at your feet. Wind tousles your hair like your dad used to when you were a child. You look back at the island, taking comfort in its safety. Everything you need is here. No sense in sharing it with someone else.

You live next door to your parents? [[Well, it's a little weird, but they leave me alone most of the time. Sometimes I go to their house after dinner for dessert.->dot1]] [[I mean, a lot of people do right? I'm actually thinking of moving in with them and living there forever.->dot3]]

What? You're just going to make a stew and not eat it? [[Honestly, I'm just tired. I'll eat the stew tomorrow.->easy1]] [[Yeah, no. What kind of person just eats a strange stew they made while daydreaming? Who knows what's in this thing.->stew2]]

Everyone does! No one really knows what's in a stew, they just accept it's a stew and they eat it. Why don't you just eat the damn stew? [[You're getting a little aggressive. I don't want to eat the stew.->argue2]]

You wrap your mystery stew in tinfoil and put it in your fridge. Even the effort of cleaning up sends you waves of tiredness. Boy, maybe you overdid it a bit today. First work, and now a whole stew, the hours have blazed by and you're beat. Time to lay down for a good night's rest. [[Could you just skip to the part where I fall asleep? Thanks.->easy]]

Wow! You have the makings of a chef and you didn't even know it. You can see your stew on the cover of Sunset Magazine, or on Food Network, being made by Rachel Ray. As you taste it more and more, you remember making stews with your mother. Stew is a tradition in your family, passed down from mother to child for generations. Sometimes your dad helped too. What a wonderful family you have. [[Our love of stew has always connected us.->dot1]] [[That's all great, but my parents still wrote me out of their will. I can't say I love them anymore.->oh]]

There's no reason to be angry. Of course, the cobbler gives you warmth and comfort, just like it's supposed to. Now, everything that happened today means nothing -- all that matters is the hot cobbler resting in your belly. [[Oh, and now you're telling me how to feel about things? Buzz off, dude. Get your own life.->dot2]] [[That's better. Now I'm going to bed for a fresh start tomorrow.->sleep]]

That might be the best cobbler you've ever made. You let out a loud belch and rub your stomach. Then, your eyes begin to droop. Cobbler is good, but it sure induces sleep. You're not sure if you can even make it to your room to fall asleep. [[Nah, I can make it. Sleeping on the counter always gives me backaches.->sleep]] [[Whatever, the counter is comfy enough.->counter]]

You rest your arms on the counter before putting your head on top, smiling as the lingering scent of peaches drifts you to sleep. Nothing could be better than this moment, right here. Test subject 187: adjustment still unclear, further testing required. Engage dream protocol PEACHES. [[./DREAM MODE ACTIVATED->cream]]

You are in a peach orchard with a basket filled to the brim with the most perfectly plump peaches you have ever seen. Nothing in the world could make you happier than you are right now.

↶

↷

kitchen.