**The Goliath's Asshole**
*by Cory*
[[PRESS START]]Another boring day in Emon, another piece of gold. Another piece of gold to spend on a mug of ale at some run down tavern you don't even know the name of. It makes sense though; you can't read.
You are Grog Strongjaw, powerful Goliath Barbarian and this tavern door is **no match**...
No, match!...
...
You struggle to open the tavern door for an obsurd amount of time before finally kicking the old wooden door to splinters. You enter to the smell of piss and ale and many a strange stare at your explosive, splinter-filled entrance. You pay them no mind as you make your way toward tasty drink!
You plop down at the bar, nearly destroying the poor barstool beneath you. You lock eyes with the plump woman behind the bar and speak one of the only words you know by heart; **"[[ale!]]"**"How do ya want it?"
"No fancies, no frills. Straight up."
"Straight up the goliath's asshole," says the plump woman behind the bar.
"No, wait!"
**"[[I want fancies!]]"**
**"[[I want frills!]]"**"How do ya want it?"
"With fancies."
"Fancy as the goliath's asshole," says the figure behind the bar.
**"[[No, wait, I don't want fancies!->ale!]]"**
**"[[I want frills too!]]"**
**"[[Drink.]]"**"How do ya want it?"
"With frills."
"Frilly as the goliath's asshole," says the figure behind the bar.
**"[[I want fancies too!->I want frills too!]]"**
**"[[No, wait, I don't want frills!->ale!]]"**
**"[[Drink.]]"***Ccchug.*
Delicious.
*Burp.*"How do ya want it?"
"With fancies and frills."
"Fancy and frilly as the goliath's asshole," says the figure behind the bar.
**"[[No, wait, I don't want fancies!->I want frills!]]"**
**"[[No, wait, I don't want frills!->I want fancies!]]"**
**"[[Drink.]]"**