saturdays

Friday afternoon. Flat colourless sky; still air. We sprawl on the floor like melted chess pieces, students in a school that is not theirs, skipping sports class in what used to be a sports hall, gossiping about teachers that don't even remember our names. Jake throws an empty can at me. "Ting! We should explore." [[why not]] [[go away]]

I pull myself up, smooth the front of my school skirt. Shrug in practiced nonchalance. "Yeah, sure, why not?" Jake's shoes raise clouds of dust on the concrete floor. Olivia waves us away, engrossed as she is in her latest novel. We're on the ground floor. [[Go down the corridor|corridor]] [[Go upstairs|upstairs]]

"Go away," I say, but the words emerge without force, and I grin to soften them. From my supine position, the half-untucked shirt, the uneven-length trousers, the homebrew haircut, his hand with that extra half-thumb, give him the look of a rakish, daring explorer. It suits him. He chuckles, and runs down the corridor, shouting, "Your loss!" as he goes. [[we go home without jake]]

Content warning: self-loathing, death, avoidable animal cruelty Background texture by Eric Matyas (soundimage.org) Icon by Superfamous Studios (superfamous.com/images), shared under CC BY 3.0. Based on the A Game By Its Cover jam (https://itch.io/jam/a-game-by-its-cover-2017), whose deadline I completely missed. Submitted to ECTOCOMP 2017. [[Go back|title page]]

"Let's go down the corridor!" How was this a school? It feels more like a factory. Perfectly straight corridors. Identical rooms. We duck into the rooms for a while, but they're all the same. [[let's go upstairs|upstairs]] [[maybe the central courtyard will have something more interesting|central courtyard]]

"Let's go upstairs!" We take the central staircase in the middle of the school. This set of spiral stairs overlooks the main driveway and what used to be a fountain. Jake takes the steps two at a time, and reaches the top. "Whoa!" [[wait upppp|top of stairs]]

I leap up the remaining few steps. "What?" "There!" Bare wires stick out of crumbled walls, allowing us an unimpeded view of the entire open space. Sun washes improbably over raw concrete. Between two pillars, an [[imprint in the floor|first-time-mirror]].

We return to the main hall where Olivia is, then go down a set of steps that leads us to the central courtyard of the school. Perhaps once this was a babbling fountain and that was a grove of trees. Now it is cracked soil in cracked pots and not even a shred of algae in the water feature. But when we stand in the middle of the courtyard and look up, we see the school buildings leaning into the small square of sky. Almost to blot it out. We don't run back [[to the staircase|spiral stairs]] at all.

This spiral staircase overloooks the main driveway, and from here I can see the road stretch out as it reaches to the main country road. Below me, yet another water feature. It must have been the first thing to greet visitors driving in. Jake takes the steps two at a time, and reaches the top. "Whoa!" [[wait upppp|top of stairs]]

"This is creepy," I comment. A banality. "Why are we whispering?!" "What were you expecting from an abandoned school?" Jake replies, "I bet this place is full of ghosts!" His bravado rings false. He seems just as reluctant as I am to have anything to do with it. [[it's weirdly fascinating, though|observe mirror]] [[let's get out of here|leave-mirror]]

I reach out a hand to touch it. My fingertips get close enough to feel the warm air rising off it before Jake swats my arm away. "Do you want to lose a finger?" he snaps. Uncharacteristic. "Can't you use a stick instead?" He fishes a pencil from his uniform pocket and throws it in. We (link-reveal:"wait")[(link-reveal:" and")[ watch. (live:2s)[Olivia hears it first. "Guys, it's [[rumbling!]]"]]]

Instead of touching it, I lean close to it, so close my face can feel heat rising off it. Jake tugs on my arm. "Come on, let's go, there's lots more to explore and I know you have to get back, come //on//--" I walk round to the back of the airborne oil slick. It looks less like the back of a mirror than an oval cut out of thin air. (live:2.5s)[Olivia hears it first. "Guys, it's [[rumbling!]]"]

I make to leave, and Jake too, when Olivia grabs my arm and screams. I turn (link-reveal:"around")[. A jet of black liquid shoots from the mirror (the window?) and splats on the floor. Something embedded in it moves wetly. [[what on earth?|inspect plasma]] ]

It's a semi-circular patch of something like sticky tar. Its surface ridden with ridges and furrows. Wait... (link-reveal:"not quite.")[ Not just random ridges. It looks like... a hand? A doll-size hand. Except it's got fingernails. [[I feel sick.|return]]]

Some of our discoveries feel like finding an oasis in this concrete desert. This one feels like a curse.(if: (history:) contains "central courtyard")[ We walk back to the main hall, finding only a note in Olivia's handwriting. 'Gotta run. Tuition class.' (set: $Olivia to 1)](else:)[(set: $Olivia to 5)] [[We, too, go home.|daytwo]]

Saturday afternoon. The weather is improbable: blue skies, white fluffy clouds. Pollen hangs thick in the air, so Jake comes with a dripping nose and a sneeze. He uses his extra finger to scratch his nose. (if: (history:) contains "we go home without jake")["What did you want to show us?" I say, by way of greeting. He grins in that way that lets me know he's found something really, really weird. "It only makes sense if I show it to you," he says, and brings us upstairs. As our heads crest the top stair, my thoughts give a sudden lurch: it's something horrible. He's found something disgusting - a dead cat, or -- [[*|mirror-second]]](else:)[Olivia's checking her watch. "What did you want to show me? I've got a swimming competition." Jake and I fight to explain it to her, but there's not much to explain. What we really want to say is how it made us feel. So we bring her upstairs. As our heads crest the top stair, my thoughts give a sudden lurch: it's gone. Nothing there. It was our imagination. (if: (history:) contains "central courtyard")[A group hallucination, after the shock of the courtyard.] [[I was not wrong, but I wasn't right either.|mirror-second]]]

(if: (history:) contains "we go home without jake")[Hovering exactly where the imprint is... a mirror? It hovers over a semi-circular patch of something like sticky tar, its surface ridden with ridges and furrows. ](else:)[Hovering exactly where the imprint is (still is): a... mirror? "Okay, you guys win," Olivia whispers. "I have no idea what that thing is." "This wasn't there yesterday," I whisper back. ]We get closer. It isn't a mirror. It's more like an oil slick in midair. [[this is creepy|weird-mirror]] [[can I touch it?|touch-mirror]]

As we watch, the shiny liquid hardens and loses its gloss, like black marker ink drying on the whiteboard. "Magma," Olivia murmurs. "What's that?" I ask. "Geography," she replies, "like, literally what we learned today?" (display: "return-second")

We've all watched enough spy movies, enough natural disaster movies to know what to do. We sprint across the hall, as far as we can get, run run run Before we reach the far corner, we hear something that sounds awfully like [[a splat]].

We turn around, as one. A glob of black fluid shoots out of the patch in the air and joins the crusted semicircle. "It's like a volcano," Olivia says. "A monster," Jake corrects. My mind wanders to bodily functions, and while we're still young enough to laugh at jokes like these, toilet jokes probably shouldn't apply to something so... otherworldly. (display: "return-second")

We linger for a while more, expecting more pyrotechnics, more black liquid, but that seems to be the end of the show. "Wasn't that exciting," Jake grumbles. "We've been raised on action-packed movies," Olivia replies, "You can't expect real life to be as exciting as that." "Still." [[let's never come back|disavow]] (if: (history:) contains "why not")[[[does this happen... like, all the time?|scientific-curiosity]]]

"I wonder when this happens. We came at about the same time yesterday, right? And the thing wasn't there?" "But you don't know it's regular - what if it only comes when the... I don't know, when it's, like, full moon?" Clearly it would be hard to perform a scientifically rigorous experiment, since we're all students with families who would like to see us at least once a day. [[right?|welp]]

"Let's never come back," I say. The other two chew over it. "That's probably for the best," Olivia says. That leaves Jake. He peeks back at the mound, at the iridescent patch hanging in mid-air. "Fine." Tight, reluctant. Then, seeing our curious looks, he stamps back to the spiral staircase. We avoid this floor for the [[rest of the term|Jake-afternoons-later]].

I voice this, and add that surely this isn't interesting enough to be fretting over? Jake immediately rebuts, "No! No, I mean, yeah, but it's not like you see this //everyday//, right?" "Jake's right. You've got to be more curious, Ting!" In our childish ways, we come up with something of a plan. We will come here as often as we can once a day, always in the late afternoon, and see if this... thing reappears. [[Science!|many afternoons pass]]

The term unrolls in front of us. Some classes we go for, some classes we skip, and every afternoon we go to an abandoned building or park or cafe. We always return to the spiral staircase. Sometimes we're lucky, and catch the rift in the air. Sometimes we're not, and we just eat snacks at the school's lobby. Eventually, we find a [[pattern]].

In the afternoons to come, sometimes we come back to the abandoned school, but plenty other places catch our fancy. Jake stops hanging out with us, and in the ephemeral nature of classroom friendships, we assume he's found another group of friends, till we only see him [[during class|jake-reveal]].

The gateway, as we decided to call it, opens most often on Saturdays, for hours at a time, sometimes big enough for a person to walk through, sometimes nothing more than a palm-size rift. Jake sat in front of it once with a watch. "It's the only thing that I can count on, nowadays." I wasn't sure if I should ask what he meant by that. [[what does this mean tho|opening schedule]] [[the heck is that black stuff?!|chemistry]]

Friday afternoon. "Guys." "Oh, hello," Olivia says, barely looking up from her notebook. "I just need to tell you something. [[About the school|yes what now]]."

Over instant noodles and snacks, we spin theories. Olivia, as usual, has the most ideas. Evolution? A self-correcting cycle? Circadian rhythms? (I'm just repeating what she said. She didn't bother explaining; we took it for granted that she knew all these big words) "We're not going to know for sure unless..." [["Unless what?"|what do you mean]]

Olivia, as the only one who knows her way around the chemistry lab, has found out that it's not flammable, has a very high melting point, and is impervious (she taught us that word) to all the acids she can find, even the ones students aren't allowed to use. Jake wonders if the black stuff might be used as, say, armour. [[what if it's poisonous|health-and-safety]]

"What if it's poisonous?" I ask. "I... you have a point. I haven't gotten ill yet, though. It shouldn't be that bad, right?" "You should be careful," Jake says. "Though actually we haven't answered the main question: what's inside the window?" [[maybe put something inside...?|experiment]] [[does it matter tho|unsolved mystery]]

"What about it?" I ask. I know ever since that afternoon, all three of us have been back, but never together. And, to be honest, I thought Jake had forgotten about it, found new friends, started hanging out with the normal crowd. "It's a gateway. That thing that opens - it's a gateway. It opens on Saturdays. I'm going in." [[going|what do you mean]] [[in?|what do you mean]]

Jake doesn't quite meet our eyes. "I'm going in on Saturday. I'm going to see what it's like. It's been getting bigger. I think I'll fit." [[why?|curious cat]] [[no! you'll die!!|come on no]]

"Why?" I ask. (if: (history:) contains "many afternoons pass")[Jake looks down at his knees. "You don't know what I've seen," he says. "Inside the window."](else:)[Jake gives us both an empty grin. "For fun!" "Not funny, Jake. It's not like you're going to a new school, who knows what's on the other side!" "Well, no one will know unless I find out, right?"] And Jake (link-reveal:"runs")[(link-reveal:" off")[ without giving Olivia or me a chance to reply. [[We give chase|Jake enters]] [[We let him go|let him]]]]

"No - come on, Jake, you can't do that! You'll die!" "So what?" he snaps, and I realise he's crying. "No one will care if I disappear anyway, right?" "No! We'd care!" Olivia shouts back. (if: (history:) contains "Jake-afternoons-later")["So the whole summer, where were you?" "We thought you made other friends-" Olivia begins. "You never showed up!" Tears spring out on his cheeks and, embarrassed, Jake runs off.] [[We give chase|Jake enters]] [[We let him go|let him]]

<h1>Saturdays</h1> Originally written for the A Game by Its Cover jam. [[Credits]] [[Begin|sports hall]]

This is how Olivia and I find ourselves in the abandoned school. Jake has changed into his one piece of formal wear. Did he always have to buckle his belt so tight? Was that shirt always so loose? "Jake," Olivia says. Her voice breaks. "Jake, you don't have to do this." (link:"jake please we have so many more places to explore")[(set: $jake += 10)(goto: "really enters")] [[(silence)|really enters]]

"Ting Ting ah! Isn't that your friend?" I emerge from my room. My parents are watching the news. On the 7pm news, two adults hold each other. Jake's photo is projected behind them. The headline: "Schoolboy goes missing." Presumably they're his parents. We've been to Jake's house a few times, but each time only his older brother was at home. "Please, if you have any information about our son, please call this number." "Please! We just [[want him home|where is home]]."

Maybe he'll forget about it. Maybe he'll realise this is a foolish idea. "You know that's not going to happen, right?" Olivia says. "We should stop him. It's the least we can do." [[ok fine lets go then|Jake enters]] [[no go away omg|finale]]

(if: (history:) contains "come on no")[Home? The home that wouldn't care if he disappeared?] (if: (history:) contains "run away")[What had he been doing? Had he been mixed up in what my mum would say, with a grimace, "bad company"? What about Olivia? Did she go along?] I turn from the TV, and back in my mind, a rift floating in midair spits out black, black sludge. (live: 3s)[<h1>SATURDAYS</h1>]

Jake looks back, once, and steps in. There is no screaming, no ominous thunder. Olivia squeezes my hand. [[return the squeeze|olivia]] [[aaaaaaaaaa|scream]]

"Like..." We ponder this question in each other's houses. What could we put in? Not ourselves, probably: too great a possibility of real trouble and no way to get ourselves out of it. (Obviously Olivia had thought this through.) It is in his own house that Jake suggests putting an animal into the rift. The glint in his eyes is unfamiliar. [[no no no not even an insect what the hell|ew stop]] [[maybe we could try, like, a cockroach idk|er maybe]]

I'm tired of this, all this speculation. That window wasn't even that interesting - all it does is spit out black stuff. I don't get why Jake is so keen. "I'm bored! Let's just leave it. There are more interesting things in life!" "You're boring," Olivia says. "Yeah, that's ironic, coming from you," I retort. Is this how I usually talk to my friends? "Don't be such a spoilsport!" Jake says. The conversation grinds out a little longer, but we all know this is it. This is the [[end of a childhood|only later]].

"No! Look, I'm sure he'll realise it's a bad idea, don't <i>worry</i> so much!" "What's wrong with you?" Olivia all but shrieks, and gives chase, leaving me. [[im sure he'll be fine|missing]]

Her hands are cold. The window, for now, appears satisfied. As we turn to go, we hear a visceral gurgling. I don't even think. We run from the place, hand in hand, and we leave the school with its rift, its horrifying gateway, behind us, as long as we live. (live: 3s)[<h1>SATURDAYS</h1>]

It's not like I'm unfamiliar with the casual cruelty kids - especially boys - are capable of. But not Jake, surely? Seeing my face twisted in disgust, Jake laughs. "Oh, come on! Something small, a lizard or something, it can't feel anything!" [[ok nope|run away]]

(set: $cruelty += 20)Jake takes my hestitation as consent. As complicity. Olivia turns her gaze on me. "Ting? Really?" "Come on, how bad could it be? It could be a cockroach or something. I mean, we have enough of those in school, right?" Jake says. The two of them turn to me. The tension feels like a too-tight string, on the verge of breaking; like a high humming; like a joint on the cusp of dislocation. I must choose, and I know that will end at least one friendship today. [[ok you were right not a great idea|reconcile]] [[oh come on|animal abuse]]

I still can't explain it, the jade-green repulsion of putting something living into that hole. I run. (I never run.) I run until I'm wheezing too hard to continue. I never turn back, and I never see Olivia, or Jack again. Wait, actually I did see Jack again [[that one time|missing]]...

Olivia has to go, and I don't feel like looking for him in this behemoth of a school, so we leave a note. Of course, we [[come back|daytwo]].

The window. It purges its black tar, its ichor and my head is screaming, my mouth is open, but all I hear is my breath, pant pant pant, and Olivia's high keening, higher than a dog's whimpering, higher than rusty hinges screeching, and then she makes a sound quite a lot like the window, the rift, this damn patch in midair but what comes out is not black sludge or a coal-black facsimile of a hand but normal vomit i turn back and maybe that was a mistake because all i see is that hand that familiar six-fingered hand (live: 3s)[<h1>SATURDAYS</h1>]

So I never find out what happens to Jake, or Olivia. This was before Facebook was a thing; this was back when it was much easier to lose touch with people. I haven't thought about those names, those faces, those sunny endless afternoons for a while. Not until I found a strange... window in my bathroom. Occasionally, it spits out black goo. (live: 3s)[<h1>SATURDAYS</h1>]

I have to clear my throat before my voice comes out. "Jake, what the heck?" I say. "Oh, not you too!" "I don't think - I don't think you should put animals in the window," I start, but he lets out a groan. Olivia and I look at each other and we make our excuses. We do not speak to Jake again. We dismiss exploring abandoned buildings as childish, loudly and publicly to friends and all who would hear, but one day, I know - for me, at least - that I will find myself in that abandoned school again, waiting for the rift to open. (live: 3s)[<h1>SATURDAYS</h1>]

"Oh, it'll be fine," I say. Olivia blinks. "Fine," she echoes, and she gets up and leaves. On hindsight, maybe we were being dramatic. Maybe we were just less accepting of compromise. [[in the end|with a whimper]]

I suggested a spider at first: I knew the boys were quite adept at catching jumping spiders, so they'd be easy to find, at least. But Jake insists that that won't be enough. We won't be able to see enough of an effect. In the end, we really do catch a cockroach. In the end, we carry a tupperware containing one cockroach to the school on a Saturday. There is no rift. We go back. Saturdays and non-Saturdays. There is no rift. Was it ever there? (live: 3s)[<h1>SATURDAYS</h1>]