ESA

#<center>(text-style:"italic")[(text-colour:#f1cf0e)[ESA]]</center> <center><img src="https://t3.ftcdn.net/jpg/02/52/61/38/360_F_252613843_pY98ujscrk9RiJZsYLNkkX4DAHv9zZSf.jpg" alt="This text will show up when you hove over it"></center> <center> [[Artist Statement]] <center>(text-colour:red)[[Trigger Warning]] [[Begin]]</center>

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/EpuDp4G.jpg" width="400px" height="200px" alt="test"></center> The warm is just too nice here. Looking out I see a familar big moving machine. It stops in front of my window. It's human! I should greet human! I walk over to the door and patiently wait. Click. Human opens the door and I meow in greetings. I get my pets and then human goes into the bedroom. I'm happy that human is [[home]].

Human ran into the bathroom and slammed the door. That's strange, human usually never closes the door on me. Even though I'm not allowed in human will leave the door open so I can be near. I meow to get human's attention. Why is human not letting me in? I don't hear anything and there is no sign I will be let in. I walk over to my food bowl, it is overflowing. Silly human fed me enough for many days. I know human will sometimes give me more after forgetting but there is a lot of food. Maybe human wanted to celebrate something with me. I hope human will decide to eat with me too. As time passes I really miss human. I don't understand why I'm not allowed into the room and why human won't come out so I just go lay next to the door. I (text-colour:white)[[[fall asleep->Found]]] meowing hoping that human will hear me and stop whatever this is. <center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/4BMjXvp.jpg" width="400px" height="400px" alt="test"></center> <center>(b4r:"solid","none")+(b4r-colour:white)[(text-colour:#f1cf0e)[800-273-8255]]</center>

//5 days later// Knock, knock, knock. Human?! Oh, it can't be, human hasn't came out of the room. I must have done something wrong. Human doesn't want to see me right now. I hope it doesn't last. Click. Someone starts to walk through the front door. I'm too tired to be scared. The new person runs over to the door that I'm laying in front of. They try to open it. No, you can't open that, human does not want to see me. Why aren't you listening to me? The person kicks in the door and runs in. I shouldn't follow right? The idea of seeing human and getting a head pat overpowers that thought. I walk into the room try to find human. The person is making very loud noices and starts to leave, yelling into the light box human always has. Human! I see human! What is human doing on the floor? I start going over to human but human does not seem to notice me. Human smells strange. My head starts rubbing human's hand. Surely human will pet me now. Why isn't human petting me? Please pet me. I've missed you. Why is human so cold? It's my job to warm human up. I snuggle into human's lap. The new person walks in starts to pull me away. NO! I want to stay with human! Why are you taking me away? Why did human not pet me? Why did human not let me in? [[Why]]...

<center>(b4r:"solid","none")+(b4r-colour:white)[A pet will not understand why.] </center>

(b4r:"solid","none")+(b4r-colour:white)[You are a cat who is owned by one human. You love spending your days laying in the sun and playing with your stuffed bird. Your human is currently out of the home.] <center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/Sfr81Ho.jpg" width="400px" height="200px" alt="test"></center> Looking out the window, I see so much activity. There is a dog being walked by a human. I also see that the sky is looking darker than normal, maybe it is going to rain. [[Stay on the window]] [[Walk to the couch]]

I jump off my perch and walk to the couch. Jumping on top of it, I stretch out on my favorite blanket. Click. The front starts to open. <center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/SZ4sz6h.jpg" width="600px" height="350px" alt="test"></center> SCARY SCARY SCARY GOTTA HIDE! I run under the couch. What's that? Oh! I hear human calling me. I crawl out and run to greet human. Human pets me and then goes to the bedroom. I'm happy that human is [[home]].

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/JuHXqon.jpg" width="400px" height="300px" alt="test"></center> Now my daily routine will start. - |o1>[[[Water bowl->Water bowl]]] - |o2>[[[Food bowl->Food bowl]]] - |o3>[[[Litter box->Litter box]]] - |o4>[[[Play with toy->Play with toy]]] - |o5>[[[Scratch tower->Scratch tower]]] |out>[] (if:(history: where its name contains "Water bowl")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?o1)[~~Water bowl~~] (if:(history: where its name contains "Food bowl")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?o2)[~~Food bowl~~] (if:(history: where its name contains "Litter box")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?o3)[~~Litter box~~] (if:(history: where its name contains "Play with toy")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?o4)[~~Play with toy~~] (if:(history: where its name contains "Scratch tower")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?o5)[~~Scratch tower~~] (if:visits >= 2)+(replace: ?out)[- [[Go to bedroom->Go to bedroom]]]

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/45gOTeX.jpg" width="400px" height="250px" alt="test"></center> I walk over to my fancy water bowl. It refils itself so it is always full. Water is a very important part of a healthy diet. I drink up. [[Return->home]]

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/y2ikdum.jpg" width="400px" height="250px" alt="test"></center> I walk over to my food bowl. There is no food... that's okay. I'm used to being fed at weird times. Sometimes human will forget and I don't hold a grudge. Those times human will always give me a lot more food after and then give me tons of pets! |link>[[[Return->home]]]

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/ciHrG0p.jpg" width="400px" height="250px" alt="test"></center> I walk over to my litter box. Dust covers the ground outside of it. Walking in, I notice that yesterday's waste is still visible. Dig dig dig. I cover it well. |text>[I make room and... you know.... I cover up my waste.] [[Return->home]] (if:(history: where its name contains "Water bowl")'s length is 0)+(replace: ?text)[I don't need to go to the bathroom.]

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/tkKICAi.jpg" width="400px" height="300px" alt="test"></center> I crouch close to ground, walking through the tall grass towards my prey. In this world, it's eat or be eaten and I will attack this bird. My leg crunches a stick and I pause. The bird doesn't notice me. Wait for it... wait for it... and... NOW! I pounce! The bird is mine! This prey will feed us for the day. - [[Take to human]] [[Return->home]]

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/DbWKICl.jpg" width="600px" height="400px" alt="test"></center> I decide to climb a jungle tree. It's so tall! Tall enough I can't even see the top. I leap from branch to branch. Suddenly... AHHHH A snake!! I scratch at the long dangling ball. Defeated! It was no match for me. Finally I jump to the very top and peer over all I have conquered. The world is mine. [[Return->home]]

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/9QwLlSh.jpg" width="600px" height="400px" alt="test"></center> I walk to where human left to. Human is bundled up in the bed so comfy. I can just tell human is nice and warm. - [[Make bread on human]] - [[Climb on furniture]] - [[Try to wake human]]

I drift off to sleep on a comfy spot at the end of the bed. In the middle of the night, I wake to hear soft sounds coming from human. Human sounds sad but I don't know how to help. I curl up on human's chest and [[fall back asleep->Day 1]].

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/pFqF1uG.jpg" width="500px" height="300px" alt="test"></center> |text>[When I finally wake up the strangest thing happens! ]Human is still here! Human has never stayed home before. I can almost barely contain my excitement. - |o1>[[[Try to wake human->Wake]]] - |o2>[[[Zoomies in bedroom->Zoomies in bedroom]]] - |o3>[[[Snuggle with human->Snuggle with human]]] |out>[] (if:(history: where its name contains "Wake")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?o1)[~~Try to wake human~~] (if:(history: where its name contains "Zoomies in bedroom")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?o2)[~~Zoomies in bedroom~~] (if:(history: where its name contains "Snuggle with human")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?o3)[~~Snuggle with human~~] (if:visits is 2)+(replace: ?text)[] (if:visits >= 2)+(replace: ?out)[- [[Go to living room->Go to living room]]]

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/ZkD6C2G.jpg" width="600px" height="400px" alt="test"></center> You walk into the bedroom with your prey. Jumping onto human you generously hand over your catch. Human takes the toy and throws it across the room. Oh! I guess human wants to play. You decide to play fetch and bring it back but human decides to not play again. - [[Make bread on human]] - [[Climb on furniture]] - [[Try to wake human]]

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/9QwLlSh.jpg" width="600px" height="400px" alt="test"></center> I sit and watch human from my spot on the floor. - |o1>[[[Make bread on human->Make bread on human]]] - |o2>[[[Climb on furniture->Climb on furniture]]] - |o3>[[[Try to wake human->Try to wake human]]] - [[Nap]] (if:(history: where its name contains "Make bread on human")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?o1)[~~Make bread on human~~] (if:(history: where its name contains "Climb on furniture")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?o2)[~~Climb on furniture~~] (if:(history: where its name contains "Try to wake human")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?o3)[~~Try to wake human~~]

Jumping up on the bed, I climb on top of human. Purring, I start to kneed. There is so much bread to make. I am a single mom. I work two jobs. I love my kids and never stops. Human doesn't respond like normal. I get two pets and then human slightly pushes me off. That's weird... I guess human is not in the mood for biscuts. [[Return->Bedroom]]

I jump from the bed to the dresser. I'm being chased by an angry dog! Run! Climb! Jump! I am practically a monkey with the way I scale each obstacle in my path. And now... for my final act. I, the great purrline, will fly! From the very top of the bookshelf I let my body soar through the air. As I decend I aim for a specially soft looking lump on the bed. TOUCHDOWN! Human grunts as I land. I can tell human is not happy by the way my name is being said. Human pushes me off and I feel bad about playing. [[Return->Bedroom]]

I nuzzle my way into human's personal bubble. A concept I learned about after an unfortunate meeting with a dog. I give human little nose kisses and try to meow next to human's ear. It worked! Human is awake! Human just looks at me and then pulls the blanket up further. Oh. I guess human is very sleepy. [[Return->Bedroom]]

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/RQnZlfU.jpg" width="500px" height="300px" alt="test"></center> SO EXCITED SO EXCITED SO EXCITED! |text>[]I run around really really fast! I am the fastest cat who has ever lived. In my running frenzie I jump on the bed and run right across human. Human doesn't seem very happy about that but does not react like normal. Human just makes a small sad noise and then goes back to laying down. [[Return->Day 1]] (if:(history: where its name contains "Snuggle with human")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?text)[After snuggles I feel so much energy! ]

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/BaocZXR.jpg" width="500px" height="300px" alt="test"></center> Taking advantage of human staying home for the day, I decide my time is best spent cuddling up with human. I curl up on human's chest, still under the blanket. Human is nice and warm and I just look out the window from the bed. This is so peaceful. [[Return->Day 1]]

|pic>[<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/JuHXqon.jpg" width="400px" height="300px" alt="test"></center>] |text>[I need to start the day even if human does not want to follow me.] - |o1>[[[Food bowl->Food bowl 2]]] - |o2>[[[Water bowl->Water bowl 2]]] - |o3>[[[Litter box->Litter box 2]]] - |o4>[[[Play with ball->Play with ball]]] - |o5>[[[Watch out window->Watch out window]]] |option1>[] |option2>[] (if:visits >= 3)+(replace: ?text)[Human walks into the room. Something feels strange about the way human smells. Human lays on the couch and turns on the tv.] (if:visits >= 3)+(replace: ?option1)[- [[Sniff human's face->Sniff]]] (if:visits >= 3)+(replace: ?option2)[- [[Nap at human's feet->Lounge]]] (if:visits >= 3)+(replace: ?pic)[<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/Fjjfk44.jpg" width="400px" height="300px" alt="test"></center>] (if:(history: where its name contains "Food bowl 2")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?o1)[~~Food bowl~~] (if:(history: where its name contains "Water bowl 2")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?o2)[~~Litter box~~] (if:(history: where its name contains "Litter box 2")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?o3)[~~Litter box~~] (if:(history: where its name contains "Play with ball")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?o4)[~~Play with ball~~] (if:(history: where its name contains "Watch out window")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?o5)[~~Watch out window~~]

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/Lv7bP8l.jpg" width="500px" height="300px" alt="test"></center> I crawl over to human and lightly scratch at anything I can reach. Human seems very upset at this, but it's time to start the day. We gotta get uppppppp. I scratch a little more but human doesn't respond like it hurts. I don't want to hurt human but nobody is listening to me. Wake upppppppppppppp. [[Return->Day 1]]

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/y2ikdum.jpg" width="400px" height="250px" alt="test"></center> The food bowl is still empty. My stomach starts growling. [[Return->Go to living room]]

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/ciHrG0p.jpg" width="400px" height="250px" alt="test"></center> There seems to be a lot of mess in the litter box. I find it difficult to go to the bathroom. [[Return->Go to living room]]

I find my ball and start rolling it around on the ground. The bell gingles and I chase it with all my heart! This is so much fun! The ball rolls over to kitchen and lands near the full bags. That's strange, usually the bags with human's waste usually gets taken out each day. I swat it over to the couch and chase it. What fun! [[Return->Go to living room]]

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/kfLyNr6.jpg" width="400px" height="300px" alt="test"></center> Jumping onto the window sill, I look out to see a dark sky. There are drops of water hitting the glass and I'm able to see just a blur of my reflection. [[Return->Go to living room]]

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/2bUihXR.jpg" width="500px" height="300px" alt="test"></center> I get super close to human and start sniffing all over. They smell sad. That is something I've grown used to smelling but there is something else. It makes me sad. Maybe I can cheer human up. - [[Purr and nuzzle]] - [[Find a gift]]

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/h8i9jvs.jpg" width="500px" height="300px" alt="test"></center> Curling up at human's feet, I snuggle into the warm blanket. The tv is a nice background sound and I image I'm running through fields of tall grass. It's time for another nap right? Right. I hear human making those soft sad sounds again. Why is human doing that? Lately it seems that those noises have filled the home more often than not. I wish I understood why so that I could make them stop. - [[Stroll around the house]] - [[Go back to sleep->Day 2]]

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/h8i9jvs.jpg" width="500px" height="300px" alt="test"></center> I decide to try to make human happier with affection. I do my very best to make human understand that I am here. I don't get much response but human does move a hand to rest on my head. This makes me feel better but I still have a feeling that human is not happy. - [[Stroll around the house]] - [[Go to sleep->Day 2]]

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/HkY8UIK.jpg" width="500px" height="300px" alt="test"></center> A gift must be what will cheer human up. I go to my toys and get my favorite bird stuffie out. I'll miss bird but human needs him more than I do right now. I walk over to human and push out my offering. Meowing to get human's attention, I watch hopefully as my gift is looked at. Human just smiles and then turns back to the tv without really watching. I have the weird feeling that the smile was not out of happiness. - [[Stroll around the house]] - [[Go to sleep->Day 2]]

|text>[Human stays home today as well. It has been so nice to spend time with my human! I notice human acting strange. Instead of laying in bed or the couch like yesterday, human has been frantically running around the place, I'm not sure what human is doing though] - |o1>[[[Food bowl->Food bowl 3]]] - |o2>[[[Water bowl->Water bowl 3]]] - |o3>[[[Litter box->Litter box 3]]] - |o4>[[[Play with mouse toy->Play with mouse toy]]] |end>[] (if:(history: where its name contains "Food bowl 3")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?o1)[~~Food bowl~~] (if:(history: where its name contains "Water bowl 3")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?o2)[~~Water bowl~~] (if:(history: where its name contains "Litter box 3")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?o3)[~~Litter box~~] (if:(history: where its name contains "Play with mouse toy")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?o4)[~~Play with mouse toy~~] (if:visits is 5)+(replace: ?end)[- [[Human?->Ending]]] (if:visits is 5)+(replace: ?text)[ ]

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/u9eoSPj.jpg" width="400px" height="300px" alt="test"></center> I walk around. There are a lot more things on the ground than I'm used to. Walking into the bedroom, I spend some time laying down on some of human's clothes. The floor is such a strange place to keep them, human is very silly. I heard something! Running to the bathroom, I'm shocked to see the door open. Usually human does not let me in but this is an emergency! I've got to protect the home! Nothing seems out of place but I do notice some strange bottle on the ground. Pawing at it, it makes a rattle noise. I decide it does not look dangerous. <center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/ZX11xEB.jpg" width="400px" height="300px" alt="test"></center> Next I stroll right into the kitchen in attempt to look for some food. Jumping on the counter, I find a bunch of scraps of food. Sniffing them, I decide they do not smell right and leave them be. I climb on the table in the kitchen and notice that my friend the plant is no longer green. None of my friends stay green for very long. <center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/V8AdrDs.jpg" width="400px" height="300px" alt="test"></center> There is not much more to explore. I guess it is time to [[go to bed->Day 2]].

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/y2ikdum.jpg" width="400px" height="250px" alt="test"></center> The food bowl is still empty. My stomach is really starting to hurt. [[Return->Day 2 Blurred]]

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/ciHrG0p.jpg" width="400px" height="250px" alt="test"></center> The litter box is really messy. I don't really think I can go. [[Return->Day 2 Blurred]]

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/Qym5fe2.jpg" width="400px" height="300px" alt="test"></center> I find my toy mouse and decide to play fetch with myself. I bat it away from me and it rolls under the tv stand. I try to reach it but I can't. [[Return->Day 2 Blurred]]

(text-style:"blurrier")[Human stays home today as well. It has been so nice to spend time with my human! I notice human acting strange. Instead of laying in bed or the couch like yesterday, human has been frantically running around the place, I'm not sure what human is doing though.] |link1>[- ] |link2>[- ] |link3>[- ] |link4>[- ] (if:(history: where its name contains "Food bowl 3")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?link1)[- [[Check on human->Check on human Food]]] (if:(history: where its name contains "Check on human Food")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?link1)[- ] (if:(history: where its name contains "Water bowl 3")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?link2)[- [[Check on human->Check on human Water]]] (if:(history: where its name contains "Check on human Water")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?link2)[- ] (if:(history: where its name contains "Litter box 3")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?link3)[- [[Check on human->Check on human Litter]]] (if:(history: where its name contains "Check on human Litter")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?link3)[- ] (if:(history: where its name contains "Play with mouse toy")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?link4)[- [[Check on human->Check on human Play]]] (if:(history: where its name contains "Check on human Play")'s length is 1)+(replace: ?link4)[- ]

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/GICizNw.jpg" width="400px" height="300px" alt="test"></center> Human notices that I have had no food and frantically starts pouring from the bag. Human doesn't stop filling my bowl and starts making a loud choking sound. I don't think human should be in pain so I'm not sure why this is. [[Return->Day 2]]

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/T3K7K7h.jpg" width="400px" height="300px" alt="test"></center> Human starts to breathe very strange and I'm not sure why. Suddenly human runs to the kitchen and looks through all the cabinets for something, pulling things out in the process. It looks like whatever it was, human found it on the shelf on top of the sink. Human is acting strange. [[Return->Day 2]]

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/wE8wuba.jpg" width="400px" height="300px" alt="test"></center> Human finally goes over to clean the box. There are little rain drop falling from human's face as the box comes into view. It's okay human! I promise I'm not mad. After the litter box is clean, human opens up the box that hold the extra litter so that it is open for use. That's strange. Why would we need a second litter box? Are we getting a friend? [[Return->Day 2]]

<center><img src="https://i.imgur.com/aQCpvyQ.jpg" width="400px" height="300px" alt="test"></center> Human sits on the desk and starts writing something. Usually human never uses the desk, this is exciting! I want to use the desk too! I jump up but human makes a frustrated sound and I get put on the ground. [[Return->Day 2]]

This game deals with severe depression and mentions of suicide. Please take care of yourself and do not continue if this will be unhealthy for you. [[Return->ESA]]

ESA is a game created to simulate the thoughts of a cat while their owner is going through a deep depression. While seeing the limited world of a life of an indoor cat, one must connect the signs of what the human is going through. As conditions worsen, the perspective makes it clear that an animal might sense sadness or fear, but they will never be able to fully understand the actions or emotions of the ones who care for them. This short game was inspired by my cat, Ember, and the significant impact she had with helping me through my own experience with depression. The purpose of ESA is to spread a thought process that could help save someone, as it did with me. That being said, this is not a happy story, but it is an important one. [[Return->ESA]]