Clunk the Intergalactic Cultivator

Your rusty exterminator truck comes into the orbit of the dust planet. "R33beta2" scrolls across your forward display. [[Turn on some Space Tunes|Tunes]] [[Perform entry proceedures]]

You spin the dial on your radio with your full-rotation-robot-wrists, and some Classic Space-Rock comes on. Just the sort you like. [[Perform entry proceedures]]

(if: (history:) contains "Tunes")[The music blares in the background.] With the press of a few blinking buttons, the flip of a few switches, and the accidental bump of a particular dial, your rusty ship begins flying towards the planet, backwards. (link:"Bump the dial again")[(set: $press to true)(goto: "Crash landing")] (link:"Flip some more switches")[(set: $press to false)(goto: "Crash landing")] [[Hit all the buttons|Safe landing]]

{(if: $press is true)[You bump the dial again, hoping it'll do the trick. Your ship goes into a violent spin, tossing you and your darkmatter space-dice about the cabin.] (if: $press is false)[You flip some more switches, hoping it'll do the trick. Your ship corrects its course, and the flips upside down.] }You enter the planet's atmosphere, and plasma begins to whip across your hull, and the ships hull. Maybe it's time to get that hole in the floor fixed, for once. Quickly spinning your trak-ball back, you swoop into the lower atmosphere as you do, slowing your decent just enough that when you finally do slam into the ground, your shoulder only puts a dent into the wall, instead of busting through it again. At least you're finally here. [[Climb out]]

You start pressing all the buttons at a furious pace. One of these must be the right combination. Just as you enter the lower atmosphere, your ship spins around, giving you just enough time to slow yourself for what you are going to write up as 'not a crash landing' in your report. [[Step outside|Climb out]]

(if: (history:) contains "Crash landing")[You press your way up to the exit hatch and twist the handle, but it won't budge. You twist harder, signaling your wrist to impart all its torque. The handle finally moves, snapping off in your hand. You amplify your anger settings, and punch the door as hard as you can, sending it flying from your ship. You finally pull yourself out, standing atop your ship in the alien atmosphere. [["Time to punch some plants!|Head towards town]]] (if: (history:) contains "Safe landing")[You step out into the dusty outer world. If you could feel, you think that maybe it would feel like what humans call 'abbrasive'. You run a quick diognostics check on your systems, everything clear except for that loose back plate, but it should hold fine. You articulate your fingers, make a fist, and shout that new catch phrase you were practicing on the way here. [["Time to punch some plants|Head towards town]]]

{(if: (history:) contains "Crash Landing")[After landing on your feet with a loud thud, you](else:)[You]} check your positional navigator device on your wrist. After a few rough taps with a finger, the screen flickers on, showing a flashing green arrowpointing to the nearest human outpost. You hope... [[Activate walking protocol]]

You activate your walking protocol, and begin to follow along the pathway that your positional navigator device points you. (live:100ms)[ (if: time &gt; 3000) [ (print: "Forward.") ] (if: time &gt; 6000)[ (print: "Left.") ] (if: time &gt; 9000)[ (print: "Quarter circle back.") ] (if: time &gt; 12000)[ (print: "Through a den of hostile indiginous wildlife.") ] (if: time &gt; 15000)[ (print: "Do a barrel roll.") ] (if: time &gt; 18000)[ [[It must just be over this next hill.|Enter town]] ] ]

As you stomp your way over the crest of the hill, you finally spot the Human outpost. Just left of the outpost, you could swear that you can see your ship... You stomp your way down the hill, and make your way to the little town's main street, welcomed by a simplistic sign which flashes &lt;blink&gt;R33beta2.1&lt;/blink&gt;. Checking your Wit database, you come to what you believe is the correct response. "Inventive", you say. Though not entirely sure if your tone was correct. You decide that you'll practice it in your ship, later. As you stomp your way down the main drag of the town, the local residents begin coming out of the surrounding buildings, their eyes tracking you like EM rockets. One of the Humans hobbles out onto a porch, standing upright on two metal peglegs, blanketed over by a wild red beard, which he seems to be gently stroking with two metal hooks in place of hands. "Easy, Beardy." the man says "The piece of scrap will be gone soon enough." [[Approach the bearded man]] [[Continue down the road]]

As you stomp up to the bearded, pegged legged, hook handed man, he suddenly screaches at you "GET OUT OF HERE, YOU RUST BUCKET!" You seem to notice his beard begin to move towards you, but the man returns to stroking it gently with his hooks, while whispers to it. [[Slowly back away]]

You continue on your way down the dusty road, as the Humans hurl insult after insult at you. They bounce off of you like an icecube off of a red hot piece of metal. It's a good thing you can turn down your artificial emotions. With the Human's words tinging and pinging off of your metalic shell, you stomp your way out of the back side of the town, and up the hill towards the Foreman's office, as per protocol. [[Check in with the Foreman]]

You slowly back away from the clearly unstable Human, and his possibly sentient beard, keeping your robot fists low, and your robot gaze steady. [[Continue down the road]]

Stomping up to the Foreman's office, you reach to push open the door when suddenly your sensors register the ground beneath you momentarily begin to (text-style: "shudder")[shudder], when suddenly it gives way to a large hole which swallows you up along with a part of the Foreman's office. You see the Foreman Bot attatched his standard issue articulating arm, swinging around the office sorting paperwork. You and the other mass of metal tumble down the vast opening in the planet's surface, bumping and banging against the sides of the massive verticle tunnel. **BASH! CLANG! SLAM!** Untill you and the partial office building come to a sudden and immediate halt, when you finally reach the bottom of the cavernous shaft. **BOOM!** [[Lie there and give up]] [[Try to pry your arm out from under the support beam]]

You decide to simply lie down and wait until your battery runs out. What a Human way to go. [[Keep lying there]]

You try to run a diognostic on your right arm, but the query returns no results. Setting your left arm to its highest torque setting, you attempt to roll the support beam off of your other arm. Metal creaks and crunches, though you're not sure if it's you, or the beam. Beads of oil drip from the joints of your left arm as you continue your attempt. With a final push, and a pull on your right arm, you suddenly rip free. Standing up you, begin running a full diognostic. As the subroutines begin returning results, you look down and see that half of your right arm is missing, noticing it still sticking out from under the beam that had you pinned. [[Try to pry the other half of your arm out|demo]] [[Leave to look for the central elevator]]

(set: $death += 1) (if: $death is 10)[Your systems finally begin to power down. For a moment, you think that you may actually feel something for once. Fear? Loneliness? Isolation? A small alien bug then scurries out of your busted open eye port, and the feeling is gone, and along with it so are you. [[The end]]] (else:)[You keep lying there, just like a broken human would do. Hopeless. But that's just because you never got around to installing that hope simulator. [[Keep lying there]]]

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continue crawling until dead end, or give up.

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Not having any of the tools to attempt to reattach your arm, you decide to look for the central elevator to get to the Foreman's office. You look around the chamber. Aside from the debris of the Foreman's office the only thing you notice in the cave opening is a sign posted to one of the walls with an arrow pointing down one of the pathways attached to the chamber. [[Follow the arrow|demo]] [[Go down one of the other pathways|demo]]

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Before you can do what you were planning to, everthing around you fades to black, and large letters appear in the center of your vision. *DEMO OVER* [[The end]]

Clunk the Intergalactic Cultivator for Twine 2 was created by Patch, from June 25th to June 28th for the 2015 PIGSquad Summer Slow Jam. To read the Post Mortem on the project, <a href="">click here</a> To learn more about PIGSquad, <a href="www.pigsquad.com">visit their website</a>