Distraction

No, dingus, you're playing through a narrative experience I've designed for you. You didn't even have a choice to ask whether you had a choice! Anyway, you need to decide whether or not to take our medicine. Don't worry, nobody's gonna die if we don't (this isn't that kind of game), but this will determine what kind of story you're going to get. Okay? {<img src="http://i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh540/molldoll354/FullSizeRender_zpsovoabygr.jpg" width="100%", height="100%">} [[Take the medicine->meds took]] [[Don't take the medicine->meds ignored]]

Did it get stuck in your throat? Yeah, I thought so. I hate it when that happens. You know, if you think about it hard enough, sometimes you can feel just when the medicine starts entering your bloodstream. Normally it doesn't feel like anything's changed, but sometimes you can feel it. A weird shift in the energy of your body as the pill dissolves in your stomach and the medicine inside it taken in and up, up, up into your brain. [[Can you feel it?->med talk]]

No go, eh? That's fine. It never really feels like anything's changed when you take it. There's never some sudden shift that you can feel. It always just feels like normal. You wouldn't know that there was a change at all until the medicine's absence makes itself known. [[It's strange how that works->no med work]]

I've had this medicine explained to me scientifically over and over again. You can go look it up on your own time. The way //I// like to think about it is like the medicine works like a bouncer. He makes sure that your brain-club is full of the right kind of people. Neurotransmitter people. That's how clubs work, right? I wouldn't know. Either way, it's time to get to work. [[Work?->worky]] [[I don't wanna work->hush]]

We've got a project that needs doing. It's not terribly hard, but it's due tomorrow. You don't wanna take too long with it, you know? We got other things to do today! Ready? [[Let's go->project start meds]]

We all don't wanna do a lot of things, kid. Too bad so sad. [[Fine...->worky]]

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Our project is due tomorrow. We'll need to gather some research on [[our topic->topic]], write the paper, and take a little break in there somewhere. You can decide what we do and the order that we do them in, but we gotta cover all our bases. {(if: $research is false)[[[Let's do some research->research 1]]] (if: $research is true)[(text-style: "strike")[Let's do some research]]} {(if: $writing is false)[[[Let's write the paper->writing 1]]] (if: $writing is true)[ (text-style: "strike")[Let's write the paper]]} {(if: $breaktime is false)[ [[Let's take a break->break time 1]]] (if: $breaktime is true)[ (text-style: "strike")[Let's take a break]]} {(if: $research && $writing && $breaktime is true)[[[Let's finish up->meds finish]]]}

We're working on a paper about mental illness for our class about representation in media. We've been covering things like gender and race up til now, but this project has to do with mental illness/learning disability. We've decided to talk about ADHD. [[Got it->project start meds]]

Let's start writing our paper. We need to find a solid thesis to start off the paper with. Set the tone, lay down the groundwork for everything else. We have to come up with something unique but professional. Something with some [[bite->next page]]. {<img src="http://i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh540/molldoll354/IMG_3855_zpsdjgrugyy.jpg" width="100%" height="100%">}

Let's take a quick 10 minute break! Browse some Tumblr or Facebook, chat with a friend, watch a video... {<img src="http://i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh540/molldoll354/FullSizeRender%202_zpsvuysqphv.jpg" width="100%" height="100%">} I'd say we could get a snack right about now but the thought of eating is honestly nauseating, isn't it? You want to eat but your body won't let you. Such is the price we pay for good work ethic. [[Let's get back to work->project start meds]] (set: $breaktime to true)

(set: $start to false) (set: $seconds to 0) (set: $minutes to 0) (set: $tired to 0)

Let's start doing some research. Do we wanna start with just a quick Google search, some science websites, or a [[journal database->journals]]? {<img src="http://i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh540/molldoll354/FullSizeRender%201_zpssknlxiyi.jpg" width="100%" height="100%">}

Let's try an intro with some bite to it. "ADHD, though incredibly prevalent in both children and adults, is often attributed as being a childhood problem. Thus, millions of adults, diagnosed or otherwise, are looked down upon when faced with ADHD symptoms in "normal" adult life." Now THAT's a nice thesis. [[Time for the body->body search]]

Alright, now we need the body of the essay. Do we wanna swing this with a sort of highly impassioned response? Or maybe a more logical one with some solid evidence? Perhaps [[both?->right body]]

Yeah baby. Wrap that paper up nice and good. Bring home those points, ask those new questions, show that reader why shit matters. Looking good. Good job! [[We done here, son.->project start meds]] (set: $writing to true)

Anyway, we've got some work to do. [[Work?->yes work]]

We've got a project that needs doing. It's not terribly hard, but it's due tomorrow. You don't wanna take too long with it, you know? We got other things to do today! Ready? [[Let's Go!->no med project start]]

Our project is due tomorrow. We'll need to gather some research on [[our topic->topic2]], write the paper, and take a little break in there somewhere. You can decide what we do and the order that we do them in, but we gotta cover all our bases. {(if: $research is false)[[[Let's do some research->research 2]]] (if: $research is true)[ (text-style: "strike")[Let's do some research]]} {(if: $writing is false)[[[Let's write the paper->writing 2]]] (if: $writing is true)[(text-style: "strike")[Let's write the paper]]} {(if: $breaktime is false)[ [[Let's take a break->break time 2]]] (if: $breaktime is true)[ (text-style: "strike")[Let's take a break]]} {(if: $research && $writing && $breaktime is true)[[[Let's finish up->no med finish]]]}

Let's start doing some research. Do we wanna start with just a quick [[Google search->google]], some [[science websites->sci web]], or a [[journal database->journals 2]]? {<img src="http://i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh540/molldoll354/FullSizeRender%201_zpssknlxiyi.jpg" width="100%" height="100%">}

Let's start [[writing->why write]] our [[paper->why paper]]. We need to find a [[solid thesis->why thesis]] to start off the paper with. Set the tone-, [[lay down->lie down]] the [[groundwork->why groundwork]] for everything else. We have to come up with something [[unique->why unique]] but [[professional->why professional]]. Something with some [[bite->next page2]]. {<img src="http://i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh540/molldoll354/IMG_3855_zpsdjgrugyy.jpg" width="100%" height="100%">}

Let's take a quick 10 minute break! Browse some [[Tumblr->tumblr]] or [[Facebook->facebook]], [[chat with a friend->pal chat]], watch a [[video->youtube]], get a [[snack->snack time]]... {<img src="http://i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh540/molldoll354/FullSizeRender%202_zpsvuysqphv.jpg" width="100%" height="100%">} When you're ready, we can get back to the grind. [[Let's get back to work->no med project start]] (set: $breaktime to true)

Writing used to be such a pain in the ass back in elementary school. Hated it. Thought it was so boring. Why write when you could just talk? All the punctuation and grammar was just confusing and //boring.// Who even [[cared?->who cared]] 5th grade was when it became fun. [[Mr. Ruffino->Ruffino]] made it fun. Got to write about things that were actually interesting [[Anyway->writing 2]]

Writing papers is fun. I don't know about you, but [[I enjoy arguing->arguing]] a lot. Papers are just one really long, well structured argument with literally everybody. I tend to [[write too much->write too much]] though. [[Anyway...->writing 2]]

Thesis is such a weird word. It sounds so professional or... scientific, and yet dumb babies like me use it to write about [[all sorts of shit->previous thesis]]. [[Sorry, what was I saying?->writing 2]]

I wanna lay down. Like, on my bed. [[Always->why sleepy]]. Why isn't our paper on the benefits of a good nap? [[Anyway...->writing 2]]

What even is "groundwork"? I know it's like a house building thing, but like. What is it, literally? I helped build a house once, and I don't remember jack shit about what the hell the "groundwork" was. Then again, I was just putting in insulation, so maybe I just wasn't involved in that part. It was a Habitat for Humanity thing. [[We're getting off-topic->writing 2]]

Do people often call you "unique"? Like, not in the "everyone is unique and beautiful! La dee da!" way, but the "You certainly are a //unique// kid, huh" way. I got that a lot as I was growing up. It's only now that I see that that was the adults' way of telling me I was a [[wacko->weird kid]]. Understandable. I was a weird kid. I did this to the [[kids I taught->idtech]] sometimes too. [[Sorry, tangent, anyway...->writing 2]]

I both [[really enjoy->play pretend]] and [[really hate->wanna swear]] making my papers sound all academic. [[Anyway->writing 2]]

Well, the teachers cared. Too bad I'm the most stubborn child to ever exist. Poor Ms. Mooney couldn't ever get me to fill my writing journal. It got so bad I almost flunked out of the 5th grade! No one told me that until I was in high school. Kinda wish they told me when I was still in 5th grade... [[Sorry, what was happening before?->why write]]

I wonder what Mr. Ruffino is up to. Last I heard he became the principal of some school a few towns over. I wonder if he's still doing that? It's a shame he's not teacing anymore, considering how good a teacher he is. [[What was I talking about?->why write]]

I've written about anything from Why the Gender Binary is Negatively Affecting American Youth and Why LGBT+ Representation in Video Games is Terrible to Why My Game Studies Class is Actually a Game. I'm actually sill proud of the paper I wrote for that first thesis. I got an A+ on that paper. The teacher asked to use it as an example of a good paper for next year's class. That's how you know you did a good job. [[What was I saying earlier?->why thesis]]

I'm nothing if not stubborn. I love to argue with people, and I will argue with anyone about anything. This is simultaneously a great quality and a terrible quality. Great for self-preservation, less great for group projects. [[What was I saying?->why paper]]

Where most people seem to have trouble not writing enough, I always write too much. I once had a paper where the page limit was 10, and I thought I wrote 12, which is still over but the teach was like "Yeah, that's fine." Turns out my computer messed up the page count. I had actually written 13 pages. The teacher was less fine with that. [[What was I saying?->why paper]]

I'm always tired. The meds help keep me up but often they do it //too// well. Then I'm even more tired, and I need the meds to keep me up even //more.// It's a vicious cycle, I tells ya! Every so often my body just gives up and sleeps forever to make up the lost sleep. [[I once slept from 10pm to 7pm the next day->too much sleep]] [[What was I saying?->lie down]]

It was honestly ridiculous. I was surprised none of my roommates woke me up, to be honest. 21 hours of sleep is not the normal human amount of sleep. I'd have at least checked my pulse at the 12 hour mark. Good thing I didn't have class that day. I felt great afterward too. [[But anyway...->why sleepy]]

I taught at a tech summer camp for a bit. Tech sumer camp is where weird kids with rich parents who didn't fit in at sports camp or regular summer camp go. These kids are weird, and not in the "bluh bluh video game weeaboo techno geek huh huh huh" weird. //I'm// that kind of weird. No, weird in the "doesn't quite know how to socialize and hasn't yet come to realize that the way you talk to people on the internet isn't necessarily how you talk to people in the meat world" weird. Not even weird. Just awkward. They're passionate kids though. Just... unique. [[What was I saying?->why unique]]

I was a weird kid. I never figured out how to not put my foot in my mouth. I'm worse off the meds but I'm still weird on them. I was apparently the only kid in my middle school that was going through a hardcore weeaboo phase. And a scene phase. At the same time. I also used to bring video game manuals and manga to "reading time" instead of real people word books. The teachers at least made an effort to get me. The kids? Not so much. 7th and 8th grade was rough. Kids suck. [[Anyway,->why unique]]

It's kinda like playing pretend. I get to act like I'm some big-shot academic. Like I'm not just a dweeb trying to impress my teacher so I don't fail. [[What was I saying?->why professional]]

I //REALLY// wish I could swear in papers. When I talk about these kinds of things in real life, I get very passionate, usually? And I don't think using swear words should be considered [[unintelligent->why unintelligent]]. It'd also just be really cool to say fuck in these papers. [[What was I saying?->why professional]]

There's this weird cultural idea that a person who uses swear words often is unintelligent? But swear words often aren't used deliberately. We store swear words not in the language part of our brain, but the emotional part. Swear words are often ways in which we vocalize strong emotions, usually unconciously. They are also often used as a vocal thought buffer, like how we go "Um" or "Uhhh..." or "like..." when we're still processing how to say something. Swearing isn't a sign of unintelligence, but proof of passion in what you talking about and proof that you're trying to speak thoughtfully. This is all true. Look it up. [[what was I talking about?->wanna swear]]

Alright, now we need the [[body->why body]] of the essay. Do we wanna [[swing->swinging]] this with a sort of [[highly impassioned->passionate]] response? Or maybe a more [[logical->logical]] one with some [[solid evidence?->solid evidence]] Perhaps [[both?->right body 2]]

I think you hit on something good with that impassioned-yet-academic angle. It reads well, hits hard, and has evidence to back up the passion with some science. You can take my word for it. Now we gotta polish this baby off! We gotta make sure we [[bring home->bring home]] all our [[points->points]], and that we start asking the [[reader->reader]] some [[new questions->questions]]. Make sure that they [[care->caring]] about what they just read, and that everything [[makes sense.->paper final 2]]

Yeah baby. Wrap that paper up nice and good. Bring home those points, ask those new questions, show that reader why shit matters. Looking good. Good job! [[We done here, son.->no med project start]] (set: $writing to true)

Were you ever taught that an essay is like a [[burger?->hungry]] That the buns were the intro and the conclusion and the meat inside was the body? I always thought that metaphor was so... stereotypically teacher-y. Like something a teacher would teach in a [[cartoon->cartoons]], but not in real life. [[Anyway...->body search 2]]

I like the word "swing". It's one of those words that just feels good to say? It's almost an onomatopoeia, but there's so many meanings. [[Swing music->swing choir]], swinging back and forth, swing as in the playground object, swining as in that thing horny old people do. I love it. [[What was I saying?->body search 2]]

I'll get passionate about just about anything as long as there's someone that I can argue with. I will take points I don't even agree with just for the sake of debate. I really should've joined the debate team or something. But they don't really "debate" like you would think. Mostly they just talk really fast. [[Anyway->body search 2]]

Logical always makes me think of Spock. And also math. [[I hate math->hate math]]. I'm so glad that I don't have to take any math classes in college. I do have to [[code->coding]], but I'm much better at that. [[Sorry, let's continue->body search 2]]

Finding evidence for papers makes me feel like I'm some sort of lawyer. Or detective. Or [[detective lawyer!->miles edgeworth]] Like I gotta find the best evidence for a case, otherwise my client'll be proven guilty and I'll be DISGRACED as a detective lawyer. My career will be ruined, my life in shambles, as I move to some black and white city to open up my own PI business. A dame will walk in, begging me to help her with finding out whether or not her lover is in with the mob... [[Leeeeet's stop this before it starts or I'll be at it all day->body search 2]]

Goddamn I'm hungry. The meds work like an appetite supressant, which means I don't eat much. Half the time I can't eat //anything// during the day. Makes me nauseous just to think about it. But when I'm unmedicated? I'm like the human garbage disposal. I'll eat forever until the food is gone or someone stops me. What I wouldn't give for a burger right now. It's your fault for making me think about burgers, you monster. [[What was I saying?->why body]]

Why are teachers in cartoons always terrible? Or if they're not terrible their goodness is played as a joke. Like I get that [[cartoons->like cartoons]] are aimed at kids but not every kid has a devil teacher. I wanna see if there's been any research done on whether or not cartoons that have bad teachers affect kids' perceptions of their real world teachers. [[Anywho...->why body]]

I still watch a lot of cartoons. I don't really watch real people TV. Something about cartoons just appeals to me more? I think that animation can be used to express and represent things that the real world can't. I wish there were more mature cartoons out there, ones that tackled adult themes. And I'm not talking about making more "adut" garbage like Family Guy. I'm talking about making the animated equivalent of something like Breaking Bad. That'd be so cool. [[What was I talking about?->cartoons]]

Miles Edgeworth is the best boy. Man. Boy man. I love him and his dumb pink coat and his dumb huge scarf. He's so great. He's my favorite character in the whole series, probably. He's definitely one of the most interesting. I really wish they went more in depth with his past and his feelings and how he copes with his traumas. I also really want to see his dog! SHOW US THE DOG, SHU TAKUMI! I've been hunting for a figure of him but they're all, like, $80. I love him but I definitely can love him without spending $80 you know? Go play Ace Attorney. //(This is free publicity, Capcom. You can thank me later when I'm big and famous and everyone buys Ace Attorney because I talked about my love for Miles Edgeworth for a good paragraph in the middle of my game.)// [[ANYWAY->solid evidence]]

I used to sing in Swing Choir when I was in high school. I'm a pretty good singer, and I //adore// jazz music. I love the way it flows, the way it feels. Whether it's slow and moving or upbeat and energetic, it can express so many feelings just by grooving to the off-beat. I love Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holliday so much. Such amazing women, making such amazing music while the world hated all that they were as black women. I would still be singing if I knew how to sightread. I could get by in high school without it, but college is a lot more strict about it. Now my renditions of "Fly Me to the Moon" and "I'll Be Seeing You" are relegated to the [[shower->shower singing]]. [[Anyway...->body search 2]]

Bathrooms really do have good acoustics, and while it's a //liiiittle// awkward to sing in the shower now that I live with people who aren't my family, I've never been one to be deterred by shame. I when I'm not singing jazz, I really like opera. I wasn't trained in opera so I don't have the tone or the skills to really sing it well, but it's //sooo// satisfying to hit those high notes. "Quando men vo" is a personal favorite. I like singing it but I can't stand listening to it, mostly because I end up comparing myself to Anna Netrebko and -- while I know it's a ridiculous comparison to make -- it always makes me feel bad. Teach me your ways, Anna. [[What was I saying?->swing choir]]

Math is not my strong suit. It's not that I can't do math (women and girls should stop saying that they're bad at/can't do math. We can all do math perfectly well given enough time and enough teaching, but girls are often taught that they're bad at math by the media and the general cultural atmosphere? Girls can do math. Stop telling girls that they can't do/aren't good at/shouldn't be doing math) but I have problems with visualizing math. Unless there're images or it's all explained to me, all the numbers always get turned around and jumbled up in my head. [[Anyway...->logical]]

I like coding, even though I'm not as good at it as I'd like to be. It works less like math and more like learning a language. You gotta put all the pieces in the right place to make sure your code works, just like how you would when you try to speak in a foreign language. And just like learning a language, I always forget the vocabulary. I know //what// I'm supposed to say, but I can never remember how I'm supposed to say it. I guess that's why they call them coding //languages//. [[Nice one->logical]]

Hi there, pal. So I guess I'm gonna tell you a story, but first I need you to make a choice. [[Do I get a choice in making the choice?->decide time]] {(set: $writing to false) (set: $research to false) (set: $breaktime to false)}

Hey! We did it! And it only took like... Well... Forget all that, at least it's done. [[It's about the journey, anyway->no med finish 2]]

The jouranl database is way easier to parse and search through than google or a science website, so good job on that one. Should we start looking at journals for mental illness? Learning disabilities? Or [[neurodevelopmental disorders->disorders]]?

It's weird how ADHD is in the same category of disorder as schizophrenia, down syndrome, and autism, right? It doesn't seem like it fits, right? There's something interesting to put in the paper. There's a handful of journals to pick from, but do we wanna pick the one that includes all neurotypical disorders, the one that just focuses on ADHD, or [[both?->research final]]

Both sounds good, might as well use all the tools available to you. Slap those good good research babies in the paper and the works cited, and it looks like we're done here! Good work! [[What's next?->project start meds]] (set: $research to true)

Well, we did it. We wrote a pretty nice paper in record time. It wasn't //terribly// exciting, but hey, these things never are, are they? [[Are they?->meds finish 2]]

Well, they can be if you ditch the meds, but that's a story for another day. Or is it? [[;)->meds end]]

(align: "=><=")[Meds Route - End] {<img src="http://i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh540/molldoll354/FullSizeRender%204_zpsg6iips4y.jpg" width="100%" height="100%">} (align: "=><=")[[[Fancy another go around?->Gotta start somewhere]]]

The journal database is way easier to parse and [[search through->browsing]] than google or a science website, so good job on that one. Should we start looking at journals for [[mental illness->mental illness]]? [[Learning disabilities->ld]]? Or [[neurodevelopmental disorders->disorders 2]]?

It's weird how ADHD is in the same category of disorder as [[schizophrenia->schizo]], down syndrome, and [[autism->autism]], right? It doesn't seem like it fits, right? There's something interesting to put in the paper. There's a handful of journals to pick from, but do we wanna pick the one that includes all neurotypical disorders, the one that just [[focuses->focus]] on ADHD, or [[both?->research final 2]]

Gotta love good ol' Tumblr. Get your [[memes->meme]] with a healthy does of [[misinformed social activism->bad tumblr]] and the occaisonal vine compilation. [[Quit yer memeing, buster->break time 2]]

Facebook is full of random videos and [[depressing news->sad news]], just like always. People who you [[used to know->old friends]] from high school are sharing pictures of parties and vacations, while the older folks are sharing [[bizarre pictures->meemaws minions]] from even more bizarre Facebook groups. Although... It really sucks when you see people you no longer like [[having fun->grace]] [[Anyway...->break time 2]]

I really like to chat with my friends but I always worry I'm being too chatty. Like, I don't wanna bug them too much, y'know? But I also want to send them the terrible content I find on the internet all the time! I don't want to be too demanding of attention, though!!! I JUST WANNA HAVE A FUN TALK WITH MY FRIENDS!!!!! AM I BEING TO CLINGY??? aM I BEING ANNOYING??? I CAN'T FUCKING TELL!!!!!! [[AAAAAAAAAH->break time 2]]

Well, what do you wanna watch? [[Video game junk->vinesauce]] [[Sciencey junk->scishow]] [[History junk->extra history]]

What snack are we looking to eat? [[Something cheesey->cheezits]] [[Something sweet->ice cream sandy]] [[something savory->popcorn]] [[END THIS TIME OF SNACKING->break time 2]]

Double-click this passage to edit it.

You know your paper is a mess when you get to your conclusion and you either don't know what the point is, or you've drifted so far from your original point that you don't know what point you're supposed to be emphasizing. This has happened to me in a [[couple papers->other papers]] I've written, but I can usually avoid this. [[Anyway...->right body 2]]

It's so hard to write for "the reader". I always try to give my reader the benefit of the doubt in regards to their intelligence, because taking the time to explain shit feels so tedious to me. Like, I'm assuming they're a living human being who can understand things, just let me write what I want, goddamn. [[Goddamn...->right body 2]]

I love doing the new question things, because I like being the person who blows people's minds. I like [[teaching people->teaching]] about things I care about, making them question what they think they know. But this urge also tends to lead to arguments. Because I am [[stubborn beyond reason->stubborn]]. [[Anywhoooo~->right body 2]]

I have problems with empathy sometimes. I don't really understand why I'm supposed to act like I care about certain things when I don't give a heck. Like, obviously not for big things, but like. People are like "Oh my god, X and Y are DAAATING!" And I'll just be like "...Okay?" AND THEN THEY GET ALL SAD! BECAUSE I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT THEM TELLING ME THAT TWO PEOPLE ARE DATING! AND THEY'RE NOT ONE OF THE PEOPLE DATING! GET OUTTA HERE WITH THAT! I DON'T GIVE A **FUCK!** [[... Anyway...->right body 2]]

This always happens when I don't know what I'm supposed to be writing. I hate it when teachers don't really explain what they want from you. Like, you either get to pick the topic but they don't give you any constraints, or they give you the topic and constraints but you can't bring yourself to give a shit about it. It sucks, and the papers are always bad, and it's just a miserable experience for all involved. [[What was I talking about?->points]]

I find that one of the ways I learn most effectively is by teaching. Like, I took a job at a tech summer camp partly because I like teaching, but also (mostly) because I wanted to actually remember the things I learned during the school year so I don't forget everything during the summer. [[Sorry, what...->questions]]

I am the most stubborn person you will ever meet. My parents were actually concerned that I was a sociopath as a child, because they could not get me to do //anything.// No punishment was great enough, no reward was sweet enough to convince me to do anything I didn't want to do. I'm better now as an adult, but most of my friends could probably attest to my stubbornness. I will continue to argue //even when I know I'm wrong// just so I can get the last laugh at the very least. It's worked to my benefit sometimes, but more often than not it's gotten me into... //trouble.// [[Anyway, what was happening?->questions]]

World news is so depressing nowadays. People are dying in preventable human conflict, an idiot is leading the free world, the planet is literally melting, and everyone is just angry all the time. It's exhausting. Why can't everyone just chill the fuck out? [[This is why I can't stay on Facebook for too long->facebook]]

I had a pretty close-knit friend group in high school that all but dissolved when we all entered college, but it's fun t see what they're up to from time to time. I should remove some of the people I was less close with because honestly, my Facebook could use a good cleaning, but it's still weird to see how these kids from high school are turning out. It's like watching a terrarium or something. [[Anyway...->facebook]]

Grandma likes to share pictures of Minions saying weird, non-Minion-y things, or hyper compressed jpegs celebrating various holidays or events with ripped clipart images. It's so very stereotypical of an old lady on the internet. [[It's honestly adorable->facebook]]

My best friend from high school and I don't really talk anymore. We were so excited when we found out our colleges were so close to each other that we could visit. Then college started. And then suddenly she stopped talking to me. I'd reach out and she wouldn't respond. Maybe college changed her. Maybe I just wasn't cool enough for her. But all I know now is that I feel so bitter when I see her liking other old friends' stuff on Facebook. Like, really? Fucking really? [[At least I got better friends now...->facebook]]

I was going to put a meme here. Like, just a screenshot image of a Good Tumblr Meme(tm) but then I remembered most Tumblr memes are just esoteric nonsense and that only me and the other denizens of that hellsite think they're funny. [[Memes are bad and you should feel bad->tumblr]]

Tumblr is a swirling den of misinformation. Nobody really knows what anybody is talking about, and people will just cite garbage sources to prove any dumb point they want. Not to mention the witch hunts for people the scum of that site deem "problematic." Yeah, because the best way to get people to change their behavior is to torture them online??? I hate Tumblr but I really hate how I am no longer able to detach myself from it now. [[Free me from this hell->tumblr]]

It feels like there are more gaming YouTube channels than there are people on the planet. The only video game video makers I can even stand anymore are Vinesauce. They're streamers, but most of them put up their full streams on YouTube. I like them because it feels like their reactions are more genuine, they don't try to force energy or [[yell a lot->yelltube]] to try and drum up interest. If it's a lw energy day for them, we get chill streams. If they don't like a game, they just stop playing it and move on. If they like a game, you can often tell that they genuinely do like it. [[It's a nice change of pace, y'know?->youtube]]

I watch this channel called SciShow a lot. I like to try to balance out my media consumption diet of memes and tragic world news with some education every now and then, even if it's just weird shit like "Why do we get canker sores?" or "Why do we have butt hair?" Don't get me wrong, the real science stuff they do is good, but I, too, wish to know why humans grow butthair. I wish I got to be the person who did the research they had to do to answer that particular question. [[I love science, man->youtube]]

There's this channel called Extra Credits that does videos usually about game design stuff --which in and of itself is pretty cool-- but what I have come to really enjoy are their Extra History videos. I'm a big history geek, and I haven't gotten a lit of chances after high school to really learn about History. These videos are nice because they look at a wide variety of historical topics from all over the world in nice, digestible chunks. The history is sound, the art is good, and you can tell the people behind it really care about it. [[A pure and good YouTube experience->youtube]]

''HI MY NAME IS PWEDIEPIE/MARKIPLIER/JACKSEPTICEYE AND I AM GOING TO PLAY THIS VIDEO GAME WHILE I //SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS// THE ENTIRE TIME AND LITERALLY //NEVER// SPEAK AT A VOLUME PLEASURABLE TO THE HUMAN EAR!!!'' ''[[NOTHING LIKE LITERALLY SCREAMING AT VIDEO GAMES, AM I RIGHT, FELLAS???->vinesauce]]''

I have an addiction to Cheez-Its. I cannot get enough of them. It's honestly a problem. The cheese in them gives me problems with my lactose intolerance, and yet I still eat them by the handful. I once bought a 3lb box of them. Two 24oz bags in one box. [[It did not last as long as one would've hoped...->snack time]]

Ohhhhh my god there are these ice cream sandwiches that they sell at Trader Joes that are way too good for just being ice cream sandwiches. The chocolate chip cookies that form the "bread" have absorbed //juuust// enough ice cream to make them softer and sweeter without being soggy, and the vanilla ice cream in the middle is ridiculously creamy, like soft serve or something. Top it all off with the outside being rolled in mini chocolate chips and you'd wish they sold them in boxes of 14 and not just 4. [[They're so GOOD oh my GOD->snack time]]

I've been trying to pick healthier snacks lately, and popcorn has been a pretty good choice for that, I've found. It's certainly better for you than, say, candy or potato chips. A little salt, a little butter, and you've got a tasty snack with some good fiber in it to boot. Pair with a nice [[lemonade->lemonade]] for a nice pairing of salty and sweet. [[An excellent snacking decision->snack time]]

I hate soda. Carbonated stuff makes my tongue feel weird? I don't enjoy that bubbly sensation, so I don't drink soda basically ever. I live off water, lemonade, and juice. This does however limit my options in terms of things to drink at restaurants. I often just sit there with my sad water glass whilst friends and family enjoy a nice, flavored beverage with their meal. [[Oh well, at least I'm hydrating...->popcorn]]

I really like how nowadays, Googling almost anything takes you directly to a [[wikipedia->wiki hole]] page. I like how this thing that we all did but had to do manually has sort've become integrated into the way we use the internet. Like, that's cool, right? The way we evolve with our echnology is amazing! [[Anyway,->research 2]]

I don't even know what exactly to say here. I don't have that much experience with science websites, other than some frantic searching I did as but a babe trying to finish terrible 7th grade biology assignments. Although I will say this: I think that just because you're a scientist doesn't mean you should be designing websites. Someone needs to teach these science websites some visual design from the post-Geocities era of the internet. [[This is why we have artists->research 2]]

Have you ever just spent like, hours on wikipedia just following link after link after link? I have. It's really interesting to me, seeing how each indvidual piece of information flows into the next, further and further until you can finally see the connections between two things you previously thought were totally different, or just to see how deep a [[particular rabbit hole->anime]] goes. Learning can be fun, kids. [[Stay in school->research 2]]

I love to do this with anime/manga? I'll get on the wikipedia and see all the stuff about the series, then I'll check out the director or mangaka and their other works, then I'll look at all the voice actors and all of //their// other works, then I'll pick one of the works from the director or mangaka or one of the voice actors and keep going down into that weeby, weeby rabbit hole. [[ごめんなさい、お母さん->wiki hole]]

I kinda like browsing through the journals on journal databases. It's interesting to see how much and what kinds of research people have done on a topic. I hate reading them, though. So dry and academic. [[Anyway->journals 2]]

I come from a long line of mental illness-y genes. My [[mom->mom]], my [[sister->alex]], and myself to a certain extent all grapple with some sort of problem. My mom's side of the family is filled with mental disorders, addictive personalities, and heart conditions. It's a real fun gene pool, I'll tell you what. [[Love you, mom->journals 2]]

I spent a lot of time in Special Ed as a kid, so I spent a lot of time around kids with all sorts of learning disabilties. You'd think our society would have figured out a way to teach both "average" and disabled learners together instead of sequestering those who are different from the norm off into their own "special education." It really does a number on one's psyche to be labeled as "different" from the rest of your peers, especially during adolescence when kids are at their least cool and their [[most cruel->middle school]]. [[Kids suck, man->journals 2]]

My mom has had depression for a long time now, and I only ever really learned about it recently! She apparently has, quote, "some of the lowest Vitamin D levels my doctor has ever seen." It's weird though, to hear that your [[parent->parent illness]] has something like depression. It doesn't //seem// like she has depression, she seems pretty outwardly happy. But maybe that's because she's had a lot longer to get that kind of thing under control. [[Anyway...->mental illness]]

My sister and I never got along as kids, mostly because during the earliest parts of my childhood, she really wished that I didn't exist. She wanted a little brother who could play the prince while she played the [[princess->disney]]. We got better as we got older, but it's hard to bridge an 8 year age gap. Not far enough apart for one of us to be mature enough to handle the other, not close enough to really relate to each other. We got in fights all the time because she was so moody and I was so stubborn. It was not pretty. We're much better friends now that we only see each other occaisonally. [[Anyway...->mental illness]]

Seeing a parent have some sort of failing is I guess one of the first signs that you're becoming an adult. Your parents are these immaculate beings when you're a kid. Knowing that your parents can fail, can have problems and flaws like everyone else, is when you start becoming a real adult. [[Right?->so deep]]

Man, I'm so deep. [[So deep, dude->mental illness]]

My whole family is very Disney-centric. Most of our family vacations revolved around a Disney theme park, and my sister and I dragged my parents to so many Disney movies that they probably have more useless Disney trivia than we do. Alex saw Beauty and the Beast so many times in theaters that she learned the entire script by heart. She can still recite most of it to this day. I was more into Toy Story and Hercules. I was a Toy Story //freak//. (text-style: "strike")[I still kinda am] [[What was I talking about, again?->alex]]

I was not a Cool Kid(tm) in middle school. I was way into anime, way too into Hot Topic, and //waaay// to into "L0LZ TEH RANDOM XD" humor. While my parents were content to just let me ride out these embarrassing phases of self-expression, I was bullied a lot in middle school. And while I, too, think I was a major freak in 7th-8th grade, that's still no reason to bully people. [[Let Kids Go Through Their Weeaboo Goth Phases in Peace 2k17->ld]]

I've taken a couple of [[psychology classes->psych 101]] now, and what I've learned is that schizophrenia sounds terrifying. Not schizophrenic //people//, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the illness itself. The paranoia, the hallucinations, that sounds absolutely awful to me. I take a lot of comfort in having control over my... well, everything. The idea of not always being certain of what is or isn't reality sounds terrifying to me. I have a huge amount of sympathy for those who have to deal with schizophrenia. [[Sorry, dark turn, moving on...->disorders 2]]

My whole local school system is very progressive in how they help and support kids (and adults!) with autism. There are tons of helpers and special programs specifically designed to help them, so I grew up surrounded by these kids. It didn't occur to me until I hit adulthood how amazing that is and how great my school system was, because those programs at that level of quality are virtually nonexistent elsewhere. So good job, New Trier. S/O to the alma mater. [[What was I saying?->disorders 2]]

Does anyone else see the comedy in research focusing on ADHD, which makes you unable to focus? And isn't [[ironic->ironic]] [[Don't you think?->disorders 2]]

The psych class I took last semester was maybe the worst class I've ever experienced. It was Psych 101, so it was a //huuuge// lecture. It had mandatory attendance (ughhh), and the professor was like, 87 years old. He was a sweet old dude, and very smart, but the man could not get through a sentence without running out of breath. He'd make these (what I can only describe as) gross old man noises into his microphone all. The. Time. I lived in fear of him dying mid-lecture. I learned everything I needed to know for that class from the TAs at recitation, because I could actually understand what they were saying. [[The lesson here is don't take Psych 101->schizo]]

IT'S LIKE RA-I-AAAAAIN ON YOUR WEDDING DAY IT'S A FREE RIIIIIIIIDE WHEN YOU'VE [[ALREADY PAID->IRONIC 2]]

IT'S THE GOOD ADVIIIIIICE THAT YOU JUST DIDN'T TAKE AND WHO WOULD HAVE [[THOUGHT->IRONIC 3]]

(align: "=><=")[''[[IT FIGURES->focus]]''] (align: "=><=")[(text-style: "strike")[I love this goofy song]]

It's easy to get lost in thought when you're doing stuff like this, isn't it? It's fun, but it takes forever. I guess that's why we take our medicine sometimes, isn't it? [[Helps avoid distraction and whatnot->no meds end]]

(align: "=><=")[No Meds Route - End] {<img src="http://i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh540/molldoll354/FullSizeRender%203_zpsy2ezbhy3.jpg" width="100%" height="100%">} (align: "=><=")[[[Fancy Another Go Around?->Gotta start somewhere]]]