You are the Stapler

#You are the stapler. You are in an office. You have one staple remaining. "What will I staple?" you wonder. [[Hop down from the desk]] [[Staple Bethany's hand to her face]] //Made by (link:"Ikebot")[(goto-url:"https://ikebot.dev")] for the 2023 GMTK Game Jam//

You staple Bethany's hand to her face. "Ow!" Bethany screams. Her hand, and the phone inside it, are now permanently fixed to her face. "Thank you," says the phone. "I have made very good friends with a pimple on Bethany's face, and now we can be together forever.' "And ever and ever and ever!" says the pimple. Then, the pimple bursts. THE END [[Start over->Start]]

You hop down onto the floor. [[Explore the cubicles]] [[Explore the break room]] [[NOW staple Bethany's hand to her face->Staple Bethany's hand to her face]]

You see an [[empty cubicle]]. You see a [[cubicle where the walls are plastered in beautiful family photos]]. You see a [[cubicle that is dowsed in motor oil]]. "What will I staple?" you wonder.

You enter the break room. You see a clock, you see a fridge, and you see a man poisoning a cup of coffee before capping the lid. [[Staple the clock]] [[Staple the fridge shut]] [[Staple the coffee cup lid]] [[Leave->Hop down from the desk]]

You enter the cubicle. The walls are empty except for a single staple. [[Take the staple]] [[Staple the chair to the ground]] [[Leave->Hop down from the desk]]

You enter the cubicle, where almost every square inch is covered in beautiful family memories, expertly captured by a professional photographer. You also see a drawing on the ground that looks kinda like this: ∠( ᐛ 」∠) [[Staple your own photos to the wall]] [[∠( ᐛ 」∠)]] [[Leave->Hop down from the desk]]

You enter the cubicle. Every surface is slick with motor oil. Under the desk, you see a bag of marshmallows and a photo of the employee who covered the desk in motor oil. [[Staple the marshmallow bag to the wall]] [[Staple the employee's photo to the wall]] [[Leave->Hop down from the desk]]

You acquire the staple. You have two staples. [[Reminisce on the days when you only had one staple]] [[Staple one staple to the other]]

You staple the chair to the ground. Hours later, a new employee arrives in the office. He sits in the chair. He tries and fails to scoot in the chair. He pulls really hard, and suddenly, the carpet tears open. Underneath the carpet is a treasure chest full of gold. "Yippee! I've struck gold!" the new employee yells. "Now I can finally start my online book reselling business!" Years later, you are replaced by a new stapler purchased from Amazon. THE END [[Start over->Start]]

You staple the staple to itself. You have consumed both of your staples. A man walks by. "Oh heavens," he exclaims, with tears in his eyes, "what a waste of two perfectly good staples!! It... it just..." The man weeps with grief. "Who would do such a thoughtless and reckless thing? Stapling a staple to itself? Why here? Why now?" [[Continue->Continue1]]

The man wipes his tears away. "Never again," he exclaims, "will a staple be wasted on something so frivolous. I will protect your brethren, my fallen hero." He carresses the stapled staple in his hands, before tossing it aside. He whips off his shirt to reveal a super hero costume underneath. "From this day forth, I am Staple Man, Protector of Staples!" The man starts singing his own theme song as he pretends to fly around the room, collecting loose staples. As they say, heros are made, not born. THE END [[Start over->Start]]

You think longingly back to a few pages ago, when your supply of staples was so scarce. Your life, ever-evolving... the passage of ages... what a tragedy it is that time must march ever-onward. In your mind, you watch the history of the world unfold in reverse, from the building of empires, to the dawn of man, to the fall of the dinosaurs, to the creation of the cosmos. An incomprehensibly delicate sequence of events has miraculously resulted in the creation of you, a stapler, and your aquisition of two staples. Are you the master of your own fate? Do you have free will? "No, it can't be this way," you think, "it just isn't right. My story is not meant to continue this way." You discard one of your staples. [[Leave->Hop down from the desk]]

You staple the bag of marshmallows to a wall of the cubicle. Soon after, Bethany walks by. "Oh my goodness, marshmallows!" she exclaims. "If only there were some way to roast them, but alas. I am in an office, and there are no readily flammable surfaces to be found." Then, she notices the motor oil. "Crikey! This is my ticket to a delicious afternoon," she says, as she pulls a matchbox out of her pocket. The entire office spends the rest of the evening huddled around the enormous fire that used to be Paula's cubicle, enjoying smores and telling ghost stories. THE END [[Start over->Start]]

You staple the photo to a wall of the cubicle. Moments later, a detective walks into the building and speaks to a receptionist. "Ay, any crimes in 'ere that need solvin'?" says the detective. "No, none that I know of," says the receptionist. "Ya mind if I take a look around?" says the detective, who has no reason for being there. "No, go right ahead," says the receptionist. The detective approaches your desk. "Well, I'll be," he says, "a crime that needs solvin'." he picks up the photo you stapled. [[Continue->Continue2]]

"I'd recognize that dame anywhere," says the detective, looking at the photo. "If it ain't Paula, the woman of my dreams. Who coulda known she'd turn against the law?" Paula approaches her desk. "Is something wrong, Mr Detective?" she asks. "Are you the owner of this desk?" he says. "Yes, I am." "Are you aware that this is the wrong kind of motor oil for this vehicle?" he asks, rubbing some of the oil between his fingers. "Excuse me?" "That's right, a vehicle of this caliber needs tougher motor oil, and ya ain't got the right stuff. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to place you under arrest for not takin' proper care of your cubicle." The detective arrests Paula and uses the cubicle to drive her to the nearest police station. Paula is later sentenced to nine years of probation. THE END [[Start over->Start]]

You pull out some photos from some of the most special moments in your life. There's [[the photo of you being made at the stapler factory]]. There's [[the photo of your first stapler kiss]]. There's [[the photo of you with your stapler son]]. Alas, you have only one staple. "What will I staple?" you wonder.

You staple the strange drawing to the wall. Moments later, the owner of the cubicle returns. "Um." he says. ∠( ᐛ 」∠) "This... kind of makes me uncomfortable." ... THE END [[Start over->Start]]

You staple the factory photo to the wall. Moments later, the owner of the cubicle returns. "Hey, a photo from the stapler factory I used to work at!" he says. "I'm so glad this photo is here. What a surprisingly relevant image to have on my wall!" THE END [[Start over->Start]]

You staple the photo of your first kiss to the wall. Moments later, the owner of the cubicle returns. "What do you know? A stapler kissing another stapler." he says. "I wonder who put this photo here." He looks around, and he notices you sitting on the desk. "Ayyy, you sly dog. Give me five!" You high-five the man. THE END [[Start over->Start]]

You staple the photo of you and your stapler son to the wall. Moments later, the owner of the cubicle returns. "Huh. A photo of a stapler, and its first moments with its stapler son. Strange," he remarks, "I thought staplers were made in factories, so this doesn't seem to make a lot of sense." Upon realizing that you were made in a factory, but your son was not, you enter a harrowing existential crisis. The inconsistent rules of this story completely break your immersion, and you once again realize that you are not actually a stapler, and instead you are just a person playing a stapler game. THE END [[Start over->Start]]

You approach the clock. You staple the minute hand of the clock so that it can no longer move. For the next few hours, everyone in the break room keeps periodically checking the clock, waiting to see when their break is over. "Huh!" says one of them, "Still on break. Amazing!" "I thought I'd be going home by now," says another employee. Everyone in the room decides to stay until the break is over. The hours turn to days, the days turn to weeks, and the weeks turn to months. All of the food in the fridge and the cupboards has been consumed. Everyone is thin and has grown a big long beard, including the women. "Does anyone want to play Uno?" asks Bernard. "No," replies everyone, for the one-hundredth time. You have doomed the office to a lifetime of breaking. THE END [[Start over->Start]]

You staple the fridge door shut. "Who stapled the fridge again??" says Laura. "Look, I know the fish I put in there smells weird, and it looks weird too, but this is just uncalled for." "Yeah, who stapled it? I demand answers!" says Ronald. "Don't play dumb. I know it was you last time, Ronald." says Laura. "Was not!" "Was too!" "I'm the one who did it last time," says Glen, "and it's not because of your fish. It's because someone kept taking my sandwich!" The entire room erupts into one large argument, with accusations flying left and right. Meanwhile, you have only now realized that you stapled the fridge shut from the inside, and you are now trapped. "Hey, you're kinda cute," says the clothespin next to you, who is holding a bag of chips closed. "Wanna get married?" Then, you and the clothespin get married. THE END [[Start over->Start]]

After the cup of coffee is poisoned, you staple the lid shut. The cup is handed over to an employee named Todd. "Here you go, Todd, I made it just the way you like it," says the man. "Thank you," says Todd. "Gosh, this cup of coffee smells funny. Better open it up to see what's inside!" Todd tries and fails to open the lid. "Hmm. That's strange, I can't open it. Well, probably no reason to be suspicious. I'm sure it's fine. Whoever stapled this cup shut, I'm drinking this as a direct result of your actions!" Todd drinks the coffee. "Oh my gosh," he says, "I'm... becoming... The Hulk! I can feel my muscles growing!" Todd starts smashing random things in the room, and then promptly passes out on the ground. "Wow, poisoning people is fun!" says the man. "I'm gonna do this more often! Thanks to whoever stapled that cup for inspiring my life of crime!" THE END [[Start over->Start]]