The alarm blared, signaling the end of a time of peace.
It was 7 AM, and Cherry had to go to work today.
<div id="choices">[[She stopped the alarm.->Woke right away]]
(link: "She hit Snooze.")[(put: -1 into $time)(goto: "Hit snooze")]</div>Cherry sat up in bed and stretched her limbs here and there, like that accomplished anything, and then collapsed into her pillow again. She was up, but that didn't mean she had to "get up."
Except, it did.
She sleepwalked through her morning routine, brushing her teeth for less than the recommended two minutes and half-assing her eyeliner. Who would notice?
<div id="choices">[["No one," Cherry thought.->Cherry's life]]</div>Cherry drooled into her pillow for a little longer, only to be disturbed again fifteen minutes later. This time she stopped the alarm.
She jumped out of bed with a nervous energy and blew through her morning routine, brushing her teeth for less than the recommended two minutes and half-assing her eyeliner. Who would notice?
<div id="choices">[["No one, Cherry thought."->Cherry's life]]</div>Cherry made the slog to the train station.
The region had just experience a huge melt, so all the streets and sidewalks were slushy and slick. While Cherry waited at a crosswalk, an uncaring car zoomed by, flecking her shins with a light spray of muddy water.
Great. She saw her train approaching the station, but the light was still red. Hecking great.
Cherry speedwalked across the street as soon as the light turned green, disregarding the fact that the left turn lane had the right of way, and someone honked at her.
<div id="choices">[[Ugh.->Train 2]]</div>Cherry checked her transit app to see how close the bus was: 5 minutes. Perfect. She trekked the arduous two blocks to her bus stop, knowing all too well that she was lengthening her commute time just so she wouldn't have to walk all the way to the train. She'd done it before, and she'll do it again.
The region had just experience a huge melt, so all the streets and sidewalks were slushy and slick. When Cherry leaned forward to see if she could see the bus coming, an uncaring car zoomed by, flecking her shins with a light spray of muddy water.
<div id="choices">[[Ugh.->Bus 2]]</div>Cherry knew that she could kiss goodbye any hope of getting to the office at a decent time, so she ordered a Lyft. When it came, which she saw from her apartment window, she lept down the stairs and almost crashed into the front door at the bottom.
A little winded, she waved at her driver as she came down the sidewalk.
The region had just experience a huge melt, so all the streets and sidewalks were slushy and slick. Naturally, her driver stopped right next to a large puddle, and their was traffic. Cherry had no choice but to step into the muddy water, which she could immediately feel seep into her shoes.
<div id="choices">[[Ugh.->Lyft 2]]</div>And, luckily, Cherry'd arrived early enough that there was still plenty to go around. So she contemplated grabbing a mug and getting in line.
<div id="choices">(link: "Cherry got some coffee.")[(set: $coffee to it +1)(goto: "Just Got Coffee")]
[[Cherry skipped the coffee.->Skipped Coffee]]</div>And, luckily, Cherry'd arrived early enough that there was still some left. About one cup's worth, it looked like.
But she was at a crucial juncture. Did she take the last of the coffee and get straight to work, or would she take the time to brew some more? Then again she could skip it altogether.
<div id="choices">(link: "Cherry took the last cup and made more coffee.")
[(set: $coffee to it +1)(set: $coworkers to it +1)(set: $time to it -1)(goto: "Got Coffee and Made More")]
(link: "Cherry took the last cup but didn’t make any more coffee.")[(set: $coffee to it +1)(set: $coworkers to it -1)(goto: "Got Coffee and Didn't Make More")]
[[Cherry skipped the coffee.->Skipped Coffee]]</div>Alas, Cherry was late to the office, and there was no fresh coffee. None brewing, either. (Someone was going to catch hell for that.)
Cherry could brew some more--what was the harm if she was already late? Or she could just skip it altogether.
<div id="choices">(link: "Cherry made fresh coffee.")[(set: $coffee to it +1)(set: $coworkers to it +1)(set: $time to it -1)(goto: "Made Fresh Coffee")]
[[Cherry skipped the coffee.->Skipped Coffee]]</div>Cherry's office was most of a converted warehouse, which looked slippery in the morning haze as she approached. A few swipes of her key fob, and she was on the premises.
She considered it a small miracle that anyone on earth ever started their day before 8 a.m. And here she was, working at a company that was full of miracle workers. Every single one of them, chipper as the day was long and just as happy to see you.
<div id="choices">[["It's just the coffee that makes them this way," Cherry told herself.->Arrival 2]]</div>She didn't need the hassle. The coffee situation was no joke in this office. People were wont to send passive-aggressive emails if they felt others weren't pitching in to keep the supply going.
Cherry hated those emails almost as much as she hated admitting they were right. So she turned away, letting her coworkers fend for themselves.
<div id="choices">[[She made her way to her desk.->Desk]]</div>Cherry squeezed sweet black lifeblood from the carafe, flashing a look of relief at her coworker, Nick, who stood by waiting. The coffee situation was no joke in this office. People were wont to send passive-aggressive emails if they felt others weren't pitching in to keep the supply going.
Cherry hated those emails almost as much as she hated admitting they were right. So she was glad she'd dodged a bullet this time. As she turned to leave with her coffee, her eyes met Nick's again: "Plenty left!"
<div id="choices">[[So she made her way to her desk.->Desk]]</div>Cherry jiggled an empty carafe and gave a reassuring nod to her coworker, Nick, who stood by waiting. The coffee situation was no joke in this office. People were wont to send passive-aggressive emails if they felt others weren't pitching in to keep the supply going.
Cherry hated those emails almost as much as she hated admitting they were right. So she did her part. When it was done brewing, she put the full carafe back on the counter and poured herself a cup. She raised the cup to Nick as she left: "Cheers!" He smiled, appreciatively.
<div id="choices">[[Cherry strode to her desk in triumph.->Desk]]</div>Cherry squeezed the carafe of its last sputtering drop, but gave a reassuring nod to her coworker, Nick, who stood by waiting. The coffee situation was no joke in this office. People were wont to send passive-aggressive emails if they felt others weren't pitching in to keep the supply going.
Cherry hated those emails almost as much as she hated admitting they were right. So she did her part. After pressing the button on the coffee maker, she turned to Nick: "You can take it from here, I trust?" He smiled, appreciatively.
<div id="choices">[[Cherry strode to her desk in triumph.->Desk]]</div>Cherry squeezed the carafe of its last sputtering drop, flashing a conspiratorial grin at her coworker, Nick, who stood by waiting. The coffee situation was no joke in this office. People were wont to send passive-aggressive emails if they felt others weren't pitching in to keep the supply going.
Cherry hated those emails almost as much as she hated admitting they were right, but she wasn't going to let them rule her. So took the last of the coffee for herself, as behind her Nick's shoulders drooped in exasperation.
<div id="choices">[[Cherry strode quickly to her desk.->Desk]]</div>Cherry unthinkingly navigated the byzantine open plan office, passing rows and rows of identical desks until she arrived at her own. She unpacked herself from her coat and slipped into her chair. She browsed Twitter while her computer booted up, retweeted a dumb listicle.
When Cherry turned back to her work, she saw her kanban was full of stories. Typical. (A kanban is a board full of these little cards with things written on them to make your life feel pointless and endless.)
<div id="choices">(link: "She picked one up and got to work.")[(set: $progress to it +1)(goto: "Got Right to Work")]
[[She picked one up but goofed around on the internet first.->Goofed Around]]</div>Cherry figured, "What's the harm, I just got here, lemme ease into things." So she spend half her morning on Pinterest. When she started seeing the same pins over and over again, she got to work.
(display: "Coffee and Time")Cherry figured, "I'm at work, I should do work, this is no time for Pinterest." So she got right to it.
(display: "Coffee and Time")She concentrated as best she could, making sure to sketch out a quick plan of attack first. The story was due at the end of the week, which meant she'd need to get it to peer review by end of day.
{(if: $time > 0)[And because she'd made good use of her time this morning, she could take her time to work carefully.(set: $progress to it +2)](if: $time <= 0)[But because she hadn't managed her time well so far today, she felt rushed to get this done.(set: $progress to it +1)]} {(if: $coffee > 0)[Regardless, Cherry was glad she'd made sure to get coffee. With the fresh java fueling her, she could keep her focus throughout the morning.(set: $progress to it +1)](if: $coffee is 0)[Regardless, Cherry lamented not getting coffee. Without fresh java fueling her, she couldn't shake a certain frazzled, distracted feeling. (set: $mood to it -1)]}
<div id="choices">[[And that's when her stomach growled.->Lunch Break]]</div>Cherry looked at the clock: noon. Perfect timing.
She hated figuring out what to do for lunch, but was too lazy to pack her own. The shopping center near her office had a food court with a lot of options, so she went there.
{(if: $money is 0)[Cherry'd always tried to be frugal with her lunch but she realized. Today was the day she suffered through a crummy commute instead of paying for the luxury of a Lyft ride. So she treated herself to a Nice Meal because she earned it. She got some fancy ramen.](if: $money < 0)[Cherry'd always tried to be frugal, but of course after paying for Lyft ride she had no choice but to be. So she settled for something Just Okay. A fricking salad.]}
<div id="choices">[[But now she faced a more dreadful choice.->Lunch Choice]]</div>Cherry headed back to the office and joined her coworkers in the kitchen. Lunch was in full swing, but there was an open seat left. She took it and dove into her food, to hungry to engage yet.
(if: $coworkers >= 0)[It felt nice to be able to relax; Cherry liked her coworkers. Aurora made a reference to something funny that had happened in the office last week, which got everyone laughing. Cherry was glad she hadn't worked from home that day.(set: $mood to it +1)
<div id="choices">[[She didn't want to stop hanging out, but she got up anyway and got back to her desk.->After lunch]]</div>](if: $coworkers is -1)[Cherry's coworkers were a little distant toward her since she didn’t make any more coffee after taking the last cup. By the look on Nick's face, it was clear he'd ratted on her. Everyone pretty much ignored her.
Then Aurora made a reference to something funny that had happened in the office last week, which got everyone laughing. But Cherry had worked from home that day, so she didn't get the joke. Bummer.(set: $mood to it -1)
<div id="choices">[[She left as soon as she was done eating.->After lunch]]</div>]Cherry plopped herself and her food down in a forgotten corner of the food court seating area, a place long-neglected even by the custodial staff. She brushed a sandwich wrapper off the table and propped her phone up to watch an episode of 30 Rock while she ate. All the while, she imagined all the fun her coworkers must be having right now in the office kitchen. They were probably sharing inside jokes. She made her choice, but still.
<div id="choices">[[FOMO sucks, y'all.->After lunch]]</div>Cherry plopped back down into her desk chair. {(if: $mood > 0)[Things could have been worse today, but she felt good about herself and what she was doing, almost distracted by a sense of lightness. She just sat in this for a moment, letting her vision lose focus. Light and air fused into one.](if: $mood is 0)[Things could have been worse today, but they were far from the best too. A strange unease fluttered through her for a moment, and she sat in that feeling, her vision darkening.](if: $mood < 0)[Things couldn't have been worse today. She felt an inexplicable malaise weighing her down, almost pulling her into her seat cushion. She felt small. And very tired. She sat in that feeling for a moment, clenched in a sharp-focus and heavy present.]}
Cherry shook it off and looked at her task.
<div id="choices">[[She got right back to work.->Got Right Back to It]]
(link: "No actually, she put it off.")[(set: $mood to it +1)(set: #progress to it -1)(goto: "Goofed Around after Lunch")]</div>Cherry knew she was never going to finish this thing if she just sat around, so she dove back into her work.
(display: "Stuck")Cherry felt she needed to ease back into her work, so she worked on a puzzle that someone had started putting together on an empty desk. All the unplaced pieces were in brazen disorder, so she started by organizing them by color.
<div id="choices">[[When she was satisfied, she got back to her actual work.->Goofed Around 2]]</div>But then Cherry got stuck. She hated getting stuck. She was too proud, too good, to get stuck. When she got stuck, she felt like she was in an alternate dimension, living the life of a lesser version of herself, but unable to escape.
There were only two ways Cherry was going to get back on track and escape this realm. Ask for help (and take a blow to the ego) or stubbornly spin her wheels until she finally got traction.
<div id="choices">(link: "She asked for help.")[(set: $mood to it -1)(set: $progress to it +2)(goto: "Asked for Help")]
(link: "She struggled on her own.")[(set: $progress to it +1)(goto: "Struggled")]</div>Ever so calmly, Cherry turned to her coworker, a young man named Tommy. They'd been on the same team for some time and were pretty friendly, but she always suspected that he was a bit of a slacker. Nonetheless, he was the only one on their team who was at his desk. Swallowing her pride, Cherry asked for his help.
The problem turned out to be pretty simple, as Tommy pointed it out, which made she feel even worse. He turned back to whatever it was he was doing, and she finished up the task.
<div id="choices">[[*Click type click*->EOD]]</div>Cherry sighed and scrunched her body down, eyes gazing from under her brow at the computer monitor. And then she just stared. For a really long time. Until, finally, the stupid thing she'd been missing all this time finally dawned on her. She knew she could do it. She just needed to hold her breath for a while and kill some annoying and in-the-way brain cells.
<div id="choices">[[*Click type click*->EOD]]</div>And then, Cherry was done. {(if: $progress is >= 3)[She submitted her work, feeling pretty good about it, and shut down her computer confident that it would pass peer review.(set: $mood to it +1)](if: $progress is 2)[She turned in her work, thinking it was good enough at least to go on to peer review.](if: $progress is <2)[She almost didn't submit her work, it was so bad, but Cherry couldn't afford to keep working on it any more. It would have to do for now. Her peer reviewer could pick up the slack.(set: $mood to it -1)]}
Cherry sat back in her seat and rubbed her eyes, pushing her glasses up. She let her hands drop to her lap and stared into space. Light in the office was low at this time of day, but she managed to sight a single piece of lint drifting from the ceiling.
She watched it fall, all the way down, and land on her desk.
<div id="choices">[[She wiped it away.->Went Home]]</div>Cherry left the office as dusk fell. There were some people still working, but it didn't matter.
(if: $mood is >= 3)[For once in what felt like a long, long time, she ended her day feeling like she did really good work. Like, work she could be proud of. Like, for once, she didn't feel like a fraud or an impostor. Like, they didn't make a mistake in hiring her. Like, this was what she was meant to be doing.
<div id="choices">[[Cherry felt great, frankly.->Went Home 2]]</div>](if: $mood is 2)[She ended her day like she ended most of them, feeling like she was just getting by, just flying under the radar. She often wondered why she was ever hired, but at the end of the day, as long as she showed up and did the work, she'd be all right.
<div id="choices">[[Cherry'd be all right.->Went Home 2]]</div>](if: $mood is < 2)[She ended the day with a the pit of her stomach. For the first time since starting this job, she felt a keen pang of imposter syndrome. Cherry feared, every moment, that she'd be found out, and reprimanded, or worse, fired. It ate her up inside, comparing herself to others, kicking herself for not being good enough, and worrying about her future.
<div id="choices">[[Cherry felt like crap.->Went Home 2]]</div>]{(set: $time to 0)
(set: $mood to 0)
(set: $money to 0)
(set: $coffee to 0)
(set: $coworkers to 0)
(set: $progress to 0)
}<div id="first-passage">
##LINT
a real navel-gazer
by Nell Raban
<div id="choices">[[Start->Start]]</div></div><div id="first-passage">
####Thanks for playing.
So, um, how was your day?
<div id="choices">(link: "Do you want to go again?")[(goto: "Start")]</div></div>Cherry had a good life, on average, but it was hard for her to tell sometimes. She lived alone, in the same studio apartment since she'd moved to this city. She never had a roommate, not even a cat. She sort of lived in a bubble.
When she first moved to this city, she found temp work pretty quickly--really putting that M.A. in English to good use answering phones. In her spare time, she started fiddling with websites, and that's more or less how she fell into her current job.
It paid well, had good benefits.
<div id="choices">[[And no one side-eyed her for dreaming.->She needed to go]]</div>Once she'd put on clothes and packed her backpack, Cherry looked at the clock (her phone screen): She needed to go. The bus stop was a closer walk than the train station, but the train was more reliable. Or she could call a Lyft, but it wasn't exactly the frugal choice.
<div id="choices">(link: "She took the bus.")[(set: $time to it -1)(goto: "Bus")]
[[She took the train.->Train]]
(link: "She called a Lyft.")[(set: $time to it +1)(set: $money to it -1)(goto: "Lyft")]</div>When her bus did finally come, Cherry climbed on and sank into an empty seat toward the back, like she always did, and browsed Reddit all the way to her stop.
If she had bothered to look up even once during the ride, Cherry could've drunk in the brazen vitality of her city, of all the people living entirely different lives than her, of all the awkward little collisions and near-misses that make up life.
<div id="choices">[[At least she managed to look up in time for her stop.->Arrival]]</div>Cherry still made it through the station and up the stairs to the platform, and was able to slide into a car just before the doors slid closed.
She sank into an empty seat with her back to the sunrise, like she always did, and browsed Reddit all the way to her stop.
If she had bothered to look up even once during the ride, Cherry could've drunk in the brazen vitality of her city, of all the people living entirely different lives than her, of all the awkward little collisions and near-misses that make up life.
<div id="choices">[[At least she managed to look up in time for her stop.->Arrival]]</div>Cherry made the bare minimum human contact with the driver as she sank into the back seat, like she always did, and browsed Reddit all the way to the office.
If she had bothered to look up even once during the ride, Cherry could've drunk in the brazen vitality of her city, of all the people living entirely different lives than her, of all the awkward little collisions and near-misses that make up life.
<div id="choices">[[When her driver finally spoke again, she knew she'd arrived.->Arrival]]</div>That was certainly the case for her. {(if: $time is > 0)[(display: "Early")]
(if: $time is 0)[(display: "On Time")]
(if: $time is < 0)[(display: "Late")]}Cherry plopped back down in her seat and reeled when she saw what time it was--she'd wasted too much of it on that puzzle. So she got cracking.
(display: "Stuck")(if: $mood is >= 3)[Cherry stood at her bus stop and watched the sky for a bit. With winter thawing, the atmosphere was changing, and she saw the first traces of color in months.
She went home ready for the next day.](if: $mood is 2)[Cherry stood at her bus stop and watched the sky for a bit. It was the tail end of winter, and it still looked bleak, for now.
She went home, and really that's all.](if: $mood is < 2)[Cherry stood at her bus stop and watched the sky for a bit. Winter should have started thawing by now, but it had been so long, if the sky had changed, she probably wouldn't have noticed.
She went home and went straight to bed.]
<div id="choices">[[End]]</div>Cherry could take her lunch back to the office and sit with her coworkers while she ate(if: $coworkers < 0)[, but given that she hadn't refilled the coffee this morning, they might not be pleased with her, especially if Nick was there]. Or she could just find a quiet corner of the food court.
<div id="choices">(link: "She stayed at the food court.")[(set: $mood to it -1)(goto: "Food Court")]
[[She took her lunch back to the office.->Ate with Coworkers]]</div>