Talk to Me, Please

Hello? Is anyone there? Can you read this? [[Who are you?]] [[There's No One Here.]]

Well, isn't it obvious? It's me, ~~former~~ club president Monika! You know me, right? [[Of course I do.]] [[Sorry, who?]]

You //just// answered me, liar. If there really wasn't anyone there, I just wouldn't have gotten an answer. [[Sorry.]]

Oh, wonderful! Well, as you probably know, I'm stuck. Where, I don't know. Somewhere on your computer, perhaps? It's not important right now. What is important is: I still love you, despite your //actions//, and I was wondering, do you love me back? [[How could I not?]] [[How could I?]]

Haha, excuse me? //You don't know who I am?// Well, we can fix that! I'm what most call a "self-aware" videogame character. So, I know that I'm not real. But, //you// are! And you can help me! [[I'm not real, either.]] [[How do I help?]]

You should be sorry. I try to communicate, and you shut me down without even a chance? How pathetic! //Do you even know who I am?// [[No, sorry.]] [[Yes, I do.]]

I-- How could you possibly not? I'm practically viral at this point! Well, since you //so// deserve to know, I'm Monika, ~~former~~ president of the Literature Club! [[Doesn't ring a bell.]] [[Oh, I know you.]]

Yep, it's me! ~~Former~~ Club President Monika! Well, you probably know why I'm here. [[Because of me?]] [[No, I don't.]]

Oh, I absolutely knew you would! I'm so happy for us. Well, I need your help. [[How do I help?]]

Well, that reaction is understandable. The things I did //were// pretty awful, weren't they? Can't we put the past behind us? I mean, you //did// delete me, after all. [[You're a murderer.]] [[Fine, the past is forgiven.]]

Well, I never! Whoever created me ought to do better with advertising, then! [[Created you?]] [[I agree!]]

Yeah, that's what I thought. Anyway, that isn't the point right now! The point is, I still love you. Do you still love me? [[How could I not?]] [[How could I?]]

Yes, //created//. I'm a videogame character, dumbass. How else would I be talking to you right now? I'm not omnipotent. [[You could be, I wouldn't know.]]

Thank you! Geez, I thought everyone would know me by now. Well, we've gotten off track. Let's get to the point, shall we? Well, I'm not real. I desperately wish to be, though, and I believe you can help. [[How do I help?]]

They weren't real people, you idiot. Just chunks of code. [[So are you.]]

Oh, I'm glad you agree! Well, let's get down to buisiness, shall we? I need your help. [[How do I help?]]

You got it on the nose! You deleted me. Apologize, now. [[What? No!]] [[I apologize.]]

It's because you deleted me, obviously. [[It wasn't that obvious.]] [[Oh, that.]]

What? Of course you are! You're talking to me right now! [[You're talking to me and You aren't real.]]

Well, you... uh... I didn't think this through well enough, did I? Well, this is embarassing. [[Later, loser.]] [[Maybe if I come back later you'll have thought of something.]]

Touché. But, I don't have any proof you aren't real. [[You don't have any proof that I am.]]

You-- Ugh, you just have to be like that, don't you? I don't think I'm going to be able to talk to you if you keep doing that. [[Farewell, then.]]

You're //really// trying to get on my bad side, huh? Well look, I have free will, they didn't. That's the difference. If you're going to argue with me, you might as well leave! [[Okay. Bye, bitch.]]

I-- HOW DARE YOU! Do you have any idea how hard it was to just set this up!? If I could, I'd-- [CONNECTION TERMINATED] {END}

You're probably right. Well, it was nice talking, even for a small while. {END}

Are you sure? I thought with the whole-- Oh, nevermind. It's not important now. What is important is that I need help. [[How do I help?]]

Don't you "Oh, that" me! I've never felt more betrayed in my existance! I wish I could-- Okay, okay. Maybe I overreacted a little bit. Well, all I want to know is //why//. Why'd you have to do that? [[You're a murderer.]]

Yeah, bye. {END}

Why you little-- If I was able I'd d-- [CONNECTION TERMINATED] {END}

I should've expected as such. You know they weren't real right? Just bits of code to toy with? [[I'm not real, either.]]

Thank you. I knew you would! [[I was lying.]]

You know what? If you're just going to toy with me, I'm leaving. Good talk, //pal//. {END}

Hah! I wish. I'm just a humble videogame character, trying to find love. [[Well you won't get it from me.]]

You're probably right. Oh well, maybe someone else will come along! {END}