###(text-colour:red)[''WARNING: This game contains minor swearing and some defenestration.'']
You want to complain about your defective Arty Industries branded wall outlet. It's bad enough that you don't want some pimple-faced teenager to take care of it. No, you're taking this thing to the very top, to the big man himself.
You arrive at their headquarters in town. For such a big company, the building is relatively stout compared to the surrounding buildings, which makes you wonder what they actually do.
[[Go inside]]
(set:$floor_1_name to "Floor 1",$floor_2_name to "Floor 2",$floor_3_name to "Floor 3",$floor_4_name to "Floor 4",$floor_5_name to "Floor 5",$floor_6_name to "Floor 6",$boss_name to "the boss",$explored_floor_5 to false,$suave_man_first_talk to true,$sauve_man_thinks_new_hire to false,$met_manager to false,$has_keycard to false,$has_aerosol_can to false,$has_cage_key to false,$has_cutlass to false,$machines_inspected to false,$pipes_inspected to false,$conveyors_inspected to false,$aerosol_knowledge to false,$doug_knowledge to false,$martin_knowledge to true,$floor_2_left to false,$floor_2_right to false,$cage_inspected to false)
The building greets you with it's dated decor. Beige wallpaper, wood trims, hardly the look of a multi-million dollar company.
[[Talk to receptionist]]
[[Enter Elevator]]
(forget-undos:1)(align:"=><=")+(box:"X=")[
The elevator.
A brief respite from all the madness.
[[Lobby (Floor 1)]]
[[$floor_2_name->Floor 2]]
[[$floor_3_name->R&D Labs (Floor 3)]]
[[$floor_4_name->Floor 4]]
[[$floor_5_name->Floor 5]]
[[$floor_6_name->Boss' Office (Floor 6)]]
]The doors open up to a nice waiting room. Fake plants and chairs line the walls. Over one of the doors is the banner "//Arty Industries R&D Labs//".
Inside are shufflings of managers, their heavy steps echoing into the floor's waiting room.
There's a speaker system in the middle of the room.
[[Turn on speaker system]]
[[Go back to elevator->Enter Elevator]]
(set: $floor_3_name to "R&D Labs (Floor 3)")An astounding sight of scattered machines that reach the ceiling with hand-like conveyors coming from each, a spaghetti of pipes leading every which way; this is the heart of Arty Industries. Boy, what a sight.
On the floor, there's a not-so-notable plaque that reads "Aerosol Production and Synthesis".
(if:$machines_inspected is false)[[Inspect machines]]
(if:$conveyors_inspected is false)[[Inspect conveyors]]
(if:$pipes_inspected is false)[[Inspect pipes]]
(if:$cage_inspected is true)[[Inspect cage]]
[[Go back to elevator->Enter Elevator]]
(set: $floor_4_name to "Aerosol Production and Synthesis (Floor 4)")You are standing in a labyrinth of hallways. There are no sounds on this floor other than the soft hum of air conditioning.
(if: $has_cutlass is false)[There is a neon foam cutlass leaning against a pillar.](if: $explored_floor_5 and $has_cutlass)[There's nothing else to see here.]
(if: $has_cutlass is false)[[Take the cutlass]]
(if: $explored_floor_5 is false)[[Venture into the labyrinth]]
[[Go back to elevator->Enter Elevator]]
(set: $floor_5_name to "Meeting Floor (Floor 5)")
You reach the boss' office waiting room. Like the lobby, this place also looks incredibly dated. Although, the door does looks sturdy; no swift kick could knock this sucker down.
(if: $has_keycard is false)[The panel to the left of the door asks for a keycard.]
(if: $has_keycard is true)[[Enter the office]]
[[Go back to elevator->Enter Elevator]]
(set: $floor_6_name to "Boss' Office (Floor 6)")The warmth of the lobby comforts you.
[[Talk to receptionist]]
[[Go back to elevator->Enter Elevator]]
"Welcome to Arty Industries. How may I help you?"
[["Do you know where $boss_name is?"->"Do you know where Arty is?"]]
[["Anything I should look out for?"->ReceptionistLookOut]]
[[Nothing right now->Lobby (Floor 1)]]The blue fluorescents make your head hurt. The infinite rows of cubicles stretch as far as you can see.
A man is relaxing next to the nearby water cooler.
(if: $suave_man_first_talk is true)[[Talk to the man -> Talk to the man]](if: $suave_man_first_talk is false)[[Talk to the suave man -> Talk to the man]]
(if: $floor_2_left is false)[[Venture into the cubicles]] (if: $floor_2_left is true and $doug_knowledge is false)[[Talk to Strange Man->Left?]](if: $floor_2_left is true and $doug_knowledge is true)[[Talk to Doug->Left?]]
[[Go back to elevator->Enter Elevator]]Row after row of cubicles. Row after row of arched backs.
After a while, you stand at a crossroads.
[[Left?]]
(if:$floor_2_right is false)[[Right?]]
[[Head back the way you came ->Floor 2]]
(set:$suave_man_opinion to "Suave Man")
The man looks so cool and suave(if: $met_manager is true)[as if he's never met a manager.] (else: )[like he owns the place. For all you know, he could!]
"Ah! Hello there. What can I do for you? (if: $suave_man_first_talk is true)[You a new hire?]"
(if: $suave_man_first_talk is true)[["Yes, I am a new hire."]]
(if: $suave_man_first_talk is true and $boss_name contains "boss")[["No, I'm just looking for your boss."]](if: $suave_man_first_talk is true and $boss_name contains "rty")[["No, I'm just looking for Arty"->"No, I'm just looking for your boss."]]
[["What is this floor?"]]
[["Is there anything I should look out for?"->ManLookout]]
(set:$suave_man_first_talk to false)There is a small man sitting in a relatively big chair.
He is wearing a distinctly ugly striped suit that is 3 sizes too big for him.
There is a pad in front of his large desk for people to grovel on.
His chair is too big, his suit is too big, his desk is too big.
Everything about this man makes you uncomfortable.
Wall to wall there are taxidermied heads of animals you don't recognize.
What the hell is a Purple-Toothed Mountain Walrus?
The man starts speaking with most annoying voice you've ever heard.
//"I see you've beaten my trials and come all the way here. Those managers sure are tough business, eh? Now, what can Ol' Arty do for you?"//
[["You see, it's this outlet of mine. It's broken."]]
You insert the tiny key in to the barely bigger padlock. The cage falls apart into a pile of bars off the table.
You grab the aerosol can. It is an "Arty Industries" branded machine oil spray.
(if: $aerosol_knowledge is true)[The Managers'll love this one.] (else: )[You're not quite sure why, but this seems useful.]
''You take the can.''
(if:$pipes_inspected is false)[[Inspect pipes]]
(if:$conveyors_inspected is false)[[Inspect conveyors]]
[[Go back to elevator->Enter Elevator]]
(set: $has_aerosol_can to true)(text-colour:grey)["//"What is this floor?"//"]
"//Since you're a (if: $sauve_man_thinks_new_hire is true)[new hire](else: )[guest], I wouldn't expect you to know the place. This is the customer support department. Anything else//?"
[["No, that's all. ->Floor 2]]
(set: $floor_3_name to "Customer Support (Floor 3)")(text-colour:grey)["//Anything I should look out for?//"]
"//Ah. Yeah. There's this Pinkboy in the maze behind us called Doug, a real jackass. Bright green hair, dumb as bricks, looks like a tomato. Can't miss 'im. Always looking for aerosols of all sorts. Deodorant, compressed air; the pinks love those stupid cans; lord knows why. Anything else?//"
[["What is this floor?"]]
[["No, that's all. ->Floor 2]]
(set: $aerosol_knowledge to true)
(set: $doug_knowledge to true)(set:$explored_floor_5 to true)
You walk for what seems like hours, days even. Alas, you still haven't found anyone.
After all that, you end up right back where you started.
(if: $has_cutlass is false)[There is a neon foam cutlass leaning against a pillar.](else:)[There's nothing else to see here.]
(if: $has_cutlass is false)[[Take the cutlass]]
[[Go back to elevator->Enter Elevator]]''You take the cutlass.''
You don't feel worthy wielding such a powerful weapon. The way the foam almost melts into your hand, the way the blade is at an off-angle, this is the one. The real deal.
Kids may use this foam cutlass for playfights, but you, you will use this for real fights. Real blood spilling fights. Fights where it seems either side could win at any time.
And ooh will the victory taste sweet.
(if: $explored_floor_5 is true)[There's nothing else to see here.]
(if: $explored_floor_5 is false)[[Venture into the labyrinth]]
[[Go back to elevator->Enter Elevator]]
(set:$has_cutlass to true)(if:$floor_2_left is false)[Wandering to the left, you spot a bright green toupe. (if:$met_manager is false)[This must be one of the managers people keep warning you about.] (else: )[It is a manager]
(if:$doug_knowledge is true)[This must be doug.]]
"//Oy! You're not certy-fied to be here!//"
[["Yes, I am"]]
[["I didn't know I had to be certified"]]
[["Nevermind" (Stop Talking)->Floor 2]]
(set:$floor_2_left to true)
You are in a break room, (if:$met_manager is false)[one of those managers people keep warning you about](else:)[a manager] is shovelling coffee beans into their unhinged mouth. Their plasticy pink skin glistens under the fluorescents.
You're not entirely sure what you saw so you're going to leave.
[[Leave->Venture into the cubicles]]
(set:$floor_2_right to true)
(text-colour:grey)["//Do you know where $boss_name is?//"]
"//Mr. Arty is on Floor 6. Just take the elevator straight up to him. Anything else?//"
(if:$floor_6_name contains "Boss'")[["I need a keycard to enter"]]
[["Anything I should look out for?"->ReceptionistLookOut]]
[["No, that's all. ->Lobby (Floor 1)]]
(set:$boss_name to "Arty")(text-colour:grey)["//Anything I should look out for?//"]
"//Ah yes. There are a few people Arty hired to help manage workers, but if you ask me, they give me the creeps. They all have plasticy pink skin like they're some kind of toy! Some of the folks round here have taken to calling them "Pinkboys" but I dont think thats entirely appropriate. Even if they scare the willies out of me. Anything else?//"
[["Do you know where $boss_name is?"->"Do you know where Arty is?"]]
(if:$met_manager is true)[["Yeah, I've met some"]]
[["No, that's all. ->Lobby (Floor 1)]] Machines of all different colours scatter the factory floor. By a whirring, pea-green bean machine, a table with a caged aerosol can in it.
[[Inspect cage]]
(if:$pipes_inspected is false)[[Inspect pipes]]
(if:$conveyors_inspected is false)[[Inspect conveyors]]
[[Go back to elevator->Enter Elevator]]
(set:$machines_inspected to true)On all the pipes, theres writing scorched into the metal.
Some say "orange flavouring", others say "beige dye".
(if:$machines_inspected is false)[Lord knows what the machines are doing.]
(if:$machines_inspected is false)[[Inspect machines]]
(if:$conveyors_inspected is false)[[Inspect conveyors]]
[[Go back to elevator->Enter Elevator]]
(set:$pipes_inspected to true)Empty cans and blobs of material travel along the conveyors. Its quite mesmerising.
But, ultimately, nothing of note is here.
(if:$machines_inspected is false)[[Inspect machines]]
(if:$pipes_inspected is false)[[Inspect pipes]]
[[Go back to elevator->Enter Elevator]]
(set:$conveyors_inspected to true)"//Just a moment.//" The speaker system clicks off.
Seconds later, (if:$met_manager is false)[a grotesque pink monster marches out. This must be a manager. This must also be Martin.](else:)[a manager stands marches out. This must be Martin.]
"//You lookin' for this?//"
He holds out a small, greasy key.
''You take the padlock key.''
"//Just bring it back to me once you're done//"
As fast as he came out, he goes back in.
[[Turn on speaker system]]
[[Go back to elevator->Enter Elevator]]
(set:$has_cage_key to true)
(set:$met_manager to true)The cage is padlocked closed. On the cage is a note. It reads:
"Someone keeps stealing my machine spray! You know who you are. Come up to see me to get the key. -Martin (in R&D)"
(if:$has_cage_key is true)[[Open the cage]]
(if:$pipes_inspected is false)[[Inspect pipes]]
(if:$conveyors_inspected is false)[[Inspect conveyors]]
[[Go back to elevator->Enter Elevator]]
(set:$machines_inspected to true, $martin_knowledge to true,$cage_inspected to true)(text-colour:grey)["//You see, it's this outlet of mine. It's broken.//"]
"You came all the way here for some outlet? You fought tooth and nail for some dinky electrical outlet?
He is smiling ear to ear.
[["Yeah, I want it fixed."]]
[[Defenestrate him]]You throw him out the window.
Turns out nobody liked him, //not even the managers//, so you get off scott-free. Lucky that. Some people congratulate you saying they would've done the same thing if given the chance. You're heralded as a hero among the people.
Your outlet is still broken, though.
(align:"=><=")+(box:"X=")[
##END OF GAME
###THANK YOU FOR PLAYING]
(forget-undos:-1)(text-colour:grey)["//Yeah, I want it fixed.//"]
"//Well, I don't think we could fix this particular unit, but, how about a 50% refund? How does that sound, buddy?//"
The smile on his face dies down a little.
[["I didn't go through all this effort to get 50% off"]]
[[Accept]]
(if:$has_cutlass)[[Threaten him with Cutlass->Threaten Him]]
[[Defenestrate him]] (text-colour:grey)["//I didn't go through all this effort to get 50% off.//"]
"//Alright... Alright...You've pushed me. How about we keep the 50% off, right? And throw in a keychain. Now wouldn't that be nice?//"
His smile is almost gone.
[["This is a crap deal. Give me something better."]]
[[Accept]]
[[Defenestrate him]](text-colour:grey)["//This is a crap deal. Give me something better.//"]
"//Now, now. Maybe the best I can do is 75% off. Even that is being generous.//"
He looks very serious now. You can almost see his veins popping.
(if:$has_cutlass)[[Threaten him with Cutlass->Threaten Him]]
[[Accept]]
[[Defenestrate him]]"//Woah woah! Alright. I will give you a new outlet and a full refund. Look. And I'll even give you a keychain. Two! Two keychains. How does that sound?//"
He's scared.
[[Accept->end game]]
[[Defenestrate him]]"//That's a relief!//"
With your job done, you head home. You wonder if it was worth going through all the trials and tribulations to reach this point. You install the new outlet and find out this one's broken too.
(align:"=><=")+(box:"X=")[
##END OF GAME
###THANK YOU FOR PLAYING]
(forget-undos:-1)(text-colour:grey)["//"Yes, I am"//"]
"//Well, uh, nevermind then. Hey, uh. Do you have any aery-sol on you? I reaaally need some right now.//"
(if:$has_aerosol_can is true)[["Yes, I have some"]]
[[I don't (Stop Talking)->Floor 2]](text-colour:grey)["//I didn't know I had to be certified//"]
"//Weeelll yeah! You can't be any customer support person-thing without a certiffy-cate! God! Do you not know anything about this busy-ness?//"
[["Well, no! I don't work here."]]
[["I haven't been working here for very long"]]
[[Nevermind (Stop Talking)->Floor 2]]
(set:$floor_2_left to true)(text-colour:grey)["//"Well, no! I don't work here."//"]
"//Well, if you dont work here, then why are you here?! You think you can just walk from the street-place to here and think you're some kinda certy-fied customer support person-thing? Huh?//"
[["I was joking"]]
[["Well, of course! That's what you did, isn't it?"]]
[[Nevermind (Stop Talking)->Floor 2]]
(text-colour:grey)["//I haven't been working here for very long//"]
[["Yes, I am"]]
[[Nevermind (Stop Talking)->Floor 2]](text-colour:grey)["//Yeah, I've met some//"]
[["Do you know where Arty is?"]]
[[Nothing right now->Lobby (Floor 1)]](text-colour:grey)["//I need a keycard to enter//"]
"//Ah! My apologies, I forgot to mention that. I believe one of the managers will have a card. Doug I think they were called? I believe they work up in Customer Support. Anything else?//"
[["Anything I should look out for?"->ReceptionistLookOut]]
[[Nothing right now->Lobby (Floor 1)]]
(set:$doug_knowledge to true)(text-colour:grey)["//"I was joking"//"]
"Oh! Haha! You got me. Hey, uh. Do you have any aery-sol on you? I reaaally need some right now."
(if:$has_aerosol_can is true)[["Yes, I have some"]]
[[I don't (Stop Talking)->Floor 2]](text-colour:grey)["//"Yes, I have some"//"]
He snatches it out of your hands and runs off. Not before tripping, and dropping his keycard. How convenient.
''You take the keycard.''
[[Head back->Floor 2]]
(set:$has_keycard to true)The speaker system springs to life with the light sounds of static.
A gruff voice comes through the speakers.
"//Who are you looking for?//"
(if:$martin_knowledge is false)[["I'm not sure..." ->Speaker System Fail]] (if:$martin_knowledge is true and $has_cage_key is false)[["Martin." ->Speaker System Success]] (if:$martin_knowledge is true and $has_cage_key is true)[["Martin." ->Speaker System Success with key]]
[[Go back to elevator->Enter Elevator]](text-colour:grey)["//I'm not sure...//"]
The speaker system clicks off.
[[Turn on speaker system]]
[[Go back to elevator->Enter Elevator]]"//Just a moment.//" The speaker system clicks off.
Seconds later, Martin marches out again.
"//Key?//"
You hand him the key and as fast as he came out, he goes back in.
[[Turn on speaker system]]
[[Go back to elevator->Enter Elevator]]
(set:$has_cage_key to false)His smile returns back, full force. What a crap deal. He grabs your hand to shake it. His hands are incredibly sweaty.
You head home thinking you could've done better. But hey, at least the new outlet works.
(align:"=><=")+(box:"X=")[
##END OF GAME
###THANK YOU FOR PLAYING]
(forget-undos:-1)(text-colour:grey)["//"Well, of course! That's what you did, isn't it?"//"]
"//I don't that's very funny. Please leave.//"
[["I was joking"]]
[[Alright ->Floor 2]] (text-colour:grey)["//"Yes, I am a new hire"//"]
"Ah! So you must've gotten picked up in that recent batch! Well, you're about to learn this isn't any ordinary office job. Also, if you have any questions, shoot them at me."
[["What is this floor?"]]
[["Is there anything I should look out for?"->ManLookout]](text-colour:grey)["//"No, I'm just looking for (if:$boss_name contains "boss'")[your boss](else:)[Arty]."//"]
"Ah, Arty. Well, if you have any questions don't be afraid to ask. Although, guests shouldn't be seen by the pinks..."
[["What is this floor?"]]
[["Is there anything I should look out for?"->ManLookout]]
↶↷WARNING: This game contains minor swearing and some defenestration.
You want to complain about your defective Arty Industries branded wall outlet. It's bad enough that you don't want some pimple-faced teenager to take care of it. No, you're taking this thing to the very top, to the big man himself.
You arrive at their headquarters in town. For such a big company, the building is relatively stout compared to the surrounding buildings, which makes you wonder what they actually do.
Go inside