The house has barely changed since you were here last. You put your bag down in your old room and take a quick look around. Seems like you beat Mom home from work.\n\nYou take a seat in the big recliner in the living room. A book lying on the coffee table catches your eye.\n\n"What God Really Thinks About Gays" by Charles R. Campbell.\n\n<div class="decision">[[Take a look.]] || [[Ignore it.]]</div>

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Only God knows what happens next.\n\n- - -\n\n//Thank you for playing through "This May Not End Well" by <a href="https://twitter.com/ColeBonnema" target="_blank">Cole M. Bonnema.</a>\nThis story was based on the experiences of myself and others. I only hope that it has helped you to understand us a little better.//\n\n[[Begin Again|Intro]]

<div class="dialogue">"I'm just trying a new aesthetic, Mom." you say reassuringly.</div>\nShe looks visibly relieved.\n\n"Oh. Okay. I wasn't sure if it's just one of those millenial things or if you were... //something else,// so I thought I'd ask."\n\nBy the way she said it, you're almost certain that "something else" means "gay," but you're not sure if you really want to get into that right now. You came home for some good food and relaxation, not //that// conversation.\n\nBut still... you had to talk about it eventually, right? You couldn't just go your whole life pretending to your parents that you were this perfect little straight boy.\n\n<div class="decision">[["Something else?"]] || [[Let it slide.]]</div>

"Hey there, honey!"\n\nMom sets down her bag and takes off her coat, then you share a good, long hug.\n\n<div class="dialogue">"How was work?"</div>\n"Oh, it was fine. Pastor Tim dropped by the office this morning and we had a chat about tomorrow's potluck. He said Brianna's going to make that lasagna of hers again."\n\n<div class="dialogue">"The kind with that crunchy baked cheese topping?"</div>\n"And the spinach, yes."\n\n<div class="dialogue">[["I can't wait."|Differences]]</div>

"I also care about people!" she hastily proclaims, suddenly flustered, "I just don't understand why you know so much about... gay things..."\n\nBoth of you are quiet for a while. Your heart beats faster as your brain races in the uneasy silence. \n\n//Was now the right time to tell her? What if she goes ballistic like Jonah's Dad did when he came out? If she kicked you out how were you going to pay for college? Hell, where would you even sleep?//\n\nYou shift uneasily as her eyes scan over you, searching for some kind of answer.\n\n<div class="decision">[[Tell her you're queer.]] || [[Deflect onto your friends.]]</div>

<h2>This May Not End Well</h2>\n<h3>by Cole M. Bonnema</h3>\n\nThis is a piece of interactive fiction! If you're not familiar with the medium, here's a brief explanation: In this story, you are put into the shoes of the main character. As you read through the story, you will make choices for the main character that change how the story will unfold.\n\nClick on highlighted links [[to move forward.|Intro]]

You decide let it go this time. It's easier this way, and you really didn't want to get into an argument with your Mom.\n\nConversation gradually shifts to the usual topics: How the Cubs are doing in preseason, Grandma's physical therapy, how people at church are doing.\n\nThe weekend goes by faster than you expect. The morning sermon is fine but forgettable. You have two slices of lasagna at the potluck afterward and talk to the choir director about maybe singing bass over the summer.\n\nIt's a good weekend.\n\nYou go back to school. Back to your friends. Back from your straight self to your queer self.\n\n[[This is how just how it needs to be.|End]]

<div class="dialogue">"I'm fine, don't worry about it."</div>\n"Come on, honey, you can talk to me about anything," she insists, "What's up?"\n\nYou hesitate. You're not really sure where this conversation could go, and you don't know if you're ready to get into it right now. Mom had always been supportive, but when it came to queer-related topics, she had distinctly... //traditional// opinions.\n\n<div class="dialogue">[["Well..."|Mention the book.]]</div>

You don't think this is going to go anywhere good, so after an awkward silence you abruptly start talking about your classes, life in the city, anything and everything else to keep both of your minds off of the implications the previous conversation holds.\n\nBut it will always be there, in the back of your mind. Remembering the times you could have said something but chose not to.\n\n[[And as for the rest of your story...|End]]

<div class="dialogue">"What do you mean by 'something else?'"</div>\nShe looks even more uncomfortable than before.\n\n"Oh, you know... You just... You look kind of... //gay.//"\n\nSomething ignites in your chest at her tone. The ways she says "gay" like she's trying not to choke on a snake. You take a stand.\n\n<div class="dialogue">"Would that be a problem?"</div>\nAt this, she suddenly shifts from uncomfortable to concerned.\n\n"Well... yeah, it would. I'm not saying you can't be gay and be a good person, but... it's a //sin.//"\n\nYou pause and take a breath. //Was now the right time to tell her? What if she goes ballistic like Jonah's Dad did when he came out? If she kicked you out how were you going to pay for college? Hell, where would you even sleep?//\n\n<div class="decision">[[Tell her you're queer.]] || [[Drop the Subject]]</div>

She sits down across from you on the couch.\n\n"How's school going?"\n\n<div class="dialogue">"Same as usual. Busy and hard, but still good."</div>\nAs you glance up from your phone, you notice that Mom is fidgeting a bit and looking oddly uncomfortable.\n\n<div class="dialogue">"Is there something wrong?"</div>\n"I've noticed that you've started to look... //different... //lately. Is there something I should be worried about?"\n\nThis was true enough. Since the start of the semester, you'd started painting your nails, trying new hairstyles, and you'd made some wardrobe adjustments. But the way she'd said it, she made it sound like you were turning into some kind of half-lizard person.\n\n<div class="decision">[["What's that supposed to mean?"]] || [["No, Mom."]]</div>

Your parents can read whatever they want, you figure. Good that they're making an attempt to educate themselves in some capacity.\n\nYou occupy yourself with the usual Twitter scroll until you hear a car pull into the drive. Your mother enters and her face brightens immediately as she sees you sitting on the couch.\n\n<div class="dialogue">[["Hi Mom," you say with a smile.]]</div>\n

You're back at your parents' house for the holiday weekend.\nYou've already told some of your close friends that you're queer, but your family is still in the dark about that part of your life.\n\nYou walk up to the front door and glance down at the comforting yet tacky doormat that reads, "God Bless All Who Enter Here."\n\n[[After fumbling with your keys, you step inside.|Step Inside.]]

This May Not End Well

You hadn't expected to do this now, but... here it goes.\n\n<div class="dialogue">"Mom, I'm queer."</div>\nThere's a long pause.\n\nYou look up at her face, expecting... Anger. Disappointment. Fear. Anything.\n\nBut the reality is far less dynamic; a combination of confusion and disbelief.\n\n"You're... you're just saying that."\n\n<div class="dialogue">[["I'm not, Mom. It's part of who I am."|Confession]]</div>\n

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She doesn't seem to be appreciating the debate.\n"Well if those parts of the Bible aren't true, what parts are?! What am I supposed to believe? Who gets to decide who should believe what?"\n\n<div class="dialogue">"Believe the parts that are meant for you, a living Christian Gentile and try to understand that the parts for thousand-year-old Israelites are included for context."</div>\nYour mom takes a moment to consider, then releases a long sigh. She doesn't seem convinced, but at least she's thinking about it. After a long pause she stands up to give you a hug.\n\n"Never forget that I love you no matter what," she says as you suddenly see that she's holding back tears, "because I do. I'll always love you."\n\n<div class="dialogue">You hug her back tightly.\n[["I love you too, Mom."|End]]</div>

<div class="dialogue">"A good number of my college friends are queer and I care about them a lot."</div>\n"Oh. Are any of them //really// Christians?"\n\n<div class="dialogue">You have to bite your tongue to avoid lashing back at her tone.\n"I'm not sure. It honestly hasn't come up."</div>\nThere's a short pause. \n\n"...Well I think it's a sin," she states matter-of-factly as she leans back against her chair and crosses her arms.\n\n<div class="decision">[[Argue]] || [[Drop the Subject]]</div>

You put the book back where you found it, stomach mildly churning as you hear a car come up the driveway. Your mother walks into the house, looking happy to see you.\n\n"Hey there, honey!" She greets you, hanging up her coat.\n\n<div class="dialogue">"Hey Mom." You reply, trying to sound cheerful.</div>\nShe reads your mood immediately.\n"Something wrong?"\n\n<div class="decision">[[Mention the book.]] || [[Deflect.]]</div>

<div class="dialogue">"What's //that// supposed to mean?"</div>\nShe looks even more uncomfortable than before.\n\n"Oh, you know... You just... You look kind of... //gay.//"\n\nSomething ignites in your chest at her tone. The ways she says "gay" like she's trying not to choke on a snake. You're not just going to let that go.\n\n<div class="dialogue">"Would that be a problem?"</div>\nAt this, she suddenly shifts from uncomfortable to concerned.\n\n"Well... yeah, it would. I'm not saying you can't be gay and be a good person, but... it's a //sin.//"\n\nYou pause and take a breath. //Was now the right time to tell her? What if she goes ballistic like Jonah's Dad did when he came out? If she kicked you out how were you going to pay for college? Hell, where would you even sleep?//\n\n<div class="decision">[[Tell her you're queer.]] || [[Drop the Subject]]</div>

She opens her mouth to say something else, flounders for a moment, then quietly closes it, stands up, and leaves the room.\n\nYou stay there, waiting for her to return. A few minutes pass.\n\nThen ten.\n\nThen an hour.\n\nAfter it becomes apparent that she may not be coming back, you make a decision. You go back to your old room, pick up your bag, and head out the front door.\n\n[[In a few minutes, you're on the next train back to the City.|End]]

You spend the next half-hour skimming through Mr. Campbell's words. It's immediately obvious that the paperback is less of a novel and more of a long-form complaint. His arguments are all transparently fundamentalist and filled with more logical fallacies than the average internet argument.\n\nIt's barely more than a hate sermon with a thin veneer of selective theology smeared over it.\n\nAnd your parents are reading it.\n\n[[You feel a bit sick.|You feel a little sick.]]

<div class="dialogue">"Why do you think that?"</div>"It's in the Bible, and everything in the Bible is true."\n<div class="dialogue">"If that's true, why are you still eating pork?"</div>"What?"\n<div class="dialogue">"In the Bible it says that God's people shouldn't eat pigs. And you said everything in the Bible is true. So you shouldn't be eating pork."</div>"Yeah, but that was for--"\n<div class="dialogue">"A different people in a different time?"</div>"...but it's just //not right.// People aren't made to do that. It doesn't... work the same way."\n<div class="dialogue">[["I'm certain they'd disagree if you told them that.|Argumentative Resolution]]"</div>

You gesture vaguely at the book on the table\n\n<div class="dialogue">"Who's reading this?"</div>\n"Your father and I have been going through it together."\n\n<div class="dialogue">"It's not good."</div>\nMom looks skeptical.\n"You've read it?"\n<div class="dialogue">[["Enough of it."]]</div>

There are tears in her eyes now.\n\n"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"\n\n<div class="dialogue">"I just... wasn't ready yet."</div>\n"What did I do //wrong?// Your father and I tried so hard to raise you as a good Christian man..."\n\n<div class="dialogue">"You didn't do anything wrong, Mom. And just because I'm queer doesn't mean I'm not a Christian. I've been both my whole life."</div>\n"How can you be?! You can't be a Christian if you're choosing to live in this... in this //sin.//"\n\nNow she's crying and there's a lump in your throat.\n\n<div class="dialogue">[["I don't think so. I believe that God has room for me just like everyone else."|Post-Confession]]</div>

"Then why is it so bad?" she asks, taking a seat across from you.\n\n<div class="dialogue">You spend several minutes explaining your exact disagreements with the book, specifically criticising the author's use of scripture torn from its context and applied inelegantly onto twenty-first century queer Christians. You've done your homework on this and you've seen all these arguments before, so you speak confidently.</div>\nMom doesn't talk while you go on. She just listens.\n\n"You seem to know an awful lot about... //this stuff.//"\n\nThe phrase "this stuff" comes out of her mouth like she's trying not to choke on a snake.\n\n<div class="dialogue">[["I care about people." You state simply.|"I care about people."]]</div>

Cole M. Bonnema