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[[Give me an advisor!]]<<print either("clever", "supportive", "brilliant", "understanding", "brilliant", "experienced", "physically and emotionally available", "empathetic", "open", "honest", "affectionate", "funny", "reliable", "patient", "serious", "creative", "eccentric", "well-known", "demanding", "well-regarded but charmingly bumbling", "communist", "well-dressed", "witty", "trustworthy", "friendly", "humble", "genuine", "optimistic", "intersectional feminist", "cool", "indecisive", "tempermental", "rebellious", "TALL", "worldly", "Cheeto-fingered", "non-responsive to the point where you consider calling the police to do a welfare check", "well-respected", "hella published and cited", "pedagogically sound", "negligent", "emotionally intelligent", "magical", "stern", "sincere", "young n' hip", "casually cruel in the name of being honest", "overbearing", "animated", "suspiciously nice", "delightful", "happy and well-adjusted", "responsive", "wordy", "not white", "hot but not sexually predatory")>> advisor who <<print either("loves", "adores", "talks a lot about", "refuses to acknowledge", "thinks too much about", "writes about but doesn't understand", "is getting around to learning about", "has lots of experience in", "fondly remembers", "wrote their latest book on", "wants to co-author a paper with you about", "values", "understands", "created", "is", "supports your interest in", "wrote the book on", "actively campaigns for", "refuses to participate in", "has never heard of", "is actively hostile toward", "can't stop eating", "plays smooth jazz about", "challenges", "guides", "advises", "adopts", "scans", "buys you", "attends to", "introduces you to", "hits 'reply all' on", "calls you about", "texts you about", "doesn't understand", "historicizes", "reproduces old fashioned discourses about", "swears by", "nods knowingly about", "secretly loves", "secretly hates", "emails you at 2am to talk about", "makes fun of your interest in", "laughs about", "never fails to bring up", "always suggests", "reimburses you for", "makes you read up on", "teaches you about", "defends", "introduces", "advocates for", "sexes up", "creates the conditions of possibility for", "was in a band called", "keeps pushing you to write about")>> <<print either("psychoanalysis", "the Cold War", "democracy", "crowds", "Lacan", "girlhood", "comic books", "brown bag lunches", "their students", "neoliberalism", "you", "your best interests", "femininity", "public memory", "your trauma (but doesn't make it about them)", "God", "socialism", "prison abolition", "prisons", "compulsory heterosexuality", "fair graduate student labor practices", "gendered divisions of labor", "motherhood", "a dedicated volunteer for your favorite nonprofit", "your cohort","your best friend", "the love of your life", "memes", "meme scholarship", "your research", "your personal life", "conference money", "academic families", "academic genealogy", "emails you sent about why you're behind", "gender", "communism", "interdisciplinarity", "modernity", "the Ivory Tower", "institutional bias", "questions that aren't really questions", "karaoke", "Taco Bell", "the Socratic method", "R1 institutions", "the academic job market", "tarot", "free food", "animal studies", "black feminist theory", "digital humanities", "wine", "books", "structuralism", "your dissertation")>>
[[Give me an advisor!]]