<h2>"Do you like comedy?"</h2>
It's another weekday afternoon, and you're once again seeking lunch along the busiest strip in the world: Times Square in New York City. Your corporate overlord, SINDX, decided there was no better place to put their headquarters than the epitome of capitalism, and now you must find some place to temporarily sate your hunger.
<div class="img-centered"><img src="https://cattsmall.com/assets/images/games/2024/GGJ/1-intro.png"></div>
This salesperson, unaware of the fact that you've been at work since 8am //and// have heard this exact lines hundreds of times during your twelfth year of full-time employment, has approached you in their desperation to make a living wage.
"Miss. Do you like comedy?"
[[Sure, I do. ->Affirm]]
[[Nah, not really.->Decline - Standard]]
[[Dude, comedy murdered my family.->Decline - Joke]]<h2>Sure, I do.</h2>
The salesperson's eyes light up.
<div class="img-centered"><img src="https://cattsmall.com/assets/images/games/2024/GGJ/2-affirm.png"></div>
"Then you've gotta come to tonight's comedy show! Only $15 at the door. Tell them Sylis sent you."
They hand you a flyer. You're relieved they didn't try to charge you for tickets right then and there like other, more hawkish promoters you've seen around the area.
[[Put the flyer in your pocket->Save the flyer]]
[[Walk away, then throw the flyer in the trash->Trash the flyer, nice]]
[[Make eye contact and throw the flyer in the trash->Trash the flyer, mean]]<h2>Nah, not really.</h2>
The salesperson moves on to pitch some tourists. You walk a couple of blocks south, past the Spaghetti Farm and fast fashion megastores, and locate your favorite mediocre sushi spot. You buy a salmon roll and stuff it down—your break is only 30 minutes. Then it's back to the office, where your manager once again chastises you for being one minute late. Yet another fine day in hell.
[[Finish your workday, clock out, and go home to sleep ->Fail state]]<h2>Dude, comedy murdered my family.</h2>
<div class="img-centered"><img src="https://cattsmall.com/assets/images/games/2024/GGJ/2-annoyed.png"></div>
The salesperson rolls their eyes and moves on to pitch some tourists. Sounds like they've heard that one before.
You walk a couple of blocks south, past the Spaghetti Farm and fast fashion megastores, and locate your favorite mediocre sushi spot. You buy a salmon roll and stuff it down—your break is only 30 minutes. Then it's back to the office, where your manager once again chastises you for being one minute late. Yet another fine day in hell.
[[Finish your workday, clock out, and go home to sleep ->Fail state]]The next weekday, you wake up annoyingly early—6am— wash up, and commute 90 minutes on the train to work. Thousands of excited people stream past you as you find your exit and run into the SINDX building. After a short round of prep, you smile through several mind-rending hours of photographing some asshole who has too much money as their logo flashes atop your employer's façade.
Working for a stock exchange, the literal backbone of your overpowered country's economy, is terrible, but what's even worse is that the company charges you for snacks. You would never pay them for sustenance.
[[Go to lunch ->Intro]]You take the flyer and disappear into the endless sea of people rushing through Times Square. So many screens, tiny and large, surround you. You're sure the salesperson no longer cares about you.
<div class="img-centered"><img src="https://cattsmall.com/assets/images/games/2024/GGJ/3-save.png"></div>
After studying it carefully, you decide it might be fun to watch entertainers subject themselves to the whims of a judgmental crowd. A level of vulnerability you'd never be comfortable with.
Putting the flyer in your pocket, you walk south, past the Spaghetti Farm and fast fashion megastores. Then you locate your favorite mediocre sushi spot. You buy a salmon roll and stuff it down; your break is only 30 minutes. Then it's back to the office, where your manager, Cyndeigh, chastises you for being one minute late.
You apologize and mention the salesperson who held you up. She looks at you the way she looks at you when you mention doing anything remotely interesting—like you're a creature from one of those prolific anime movies with a message she'd never understand.
[[Go back to your desk->Finish the day]]You take the flyer and disappear into the endless sea of people rushing through Times Square. So many screens, tiny and large, surround you. You're sure the salesperson no longer cares about you.
<div class="img-centered"><img src="https://cattsmall.com/assets/images/games/2024/GGJ/3-save.png"></div>
After studying it carefully, you decide not to participate in the potential humiliation of standup comedy.
As you walk south, past the Spaghetti Farm and fast fashion megastores, you throw the flyer into the trash. Then you locate your favorite mediocre sushi spot. You buy a salmon roll and stuff it down—your break is only 30 minutes. Then it's back to the office, where your manager once again chastises you for being one minute late. Yet another fine day in hell.
[[Finish your workday, clock out, and go home to sleep ->Fail state]]After studying it carefully, you decide not to participate in the potential humiliation of standup comedy. You take the flyer, make steady eye contact with the salesperson, and drop their work of art atop the nearest overfilled trashcan.
<div class="img-centered"><img src="https://cattsmall.com/assets/images/games/2024/GGJ/2-annoyed.png"></div>
They roll their eyes and moves on to pitch some tourists. Looks like they've seen that one before.
Feeling a bit bad for taking your employer-driven frustration out on someone else, you disappear into the endless sea of people rushing through Times Square. So many screens, tiny and large, surround you. You're sure the salesperson won't remember this later.
As you walk south, past the Spaghetti Farm and fast fashion megastores, you throw the flyer into the trash. Then you locate your favorite mediocre sushi spot. You buy a salmon roll and stuff it down—your break is only 30 minutes. Then it's back to the office, where your manager once again chastises you for being one minute late. Yet another fine day in hell.
[[Finish your workday, clock out, and go home to sleep ->Fail state]]After several godawfully boring hours of updating the company's website (wow, check out who rang the bell today!) and adding new merch to the ecommerce shop (zero orders once again, not sure why we maintain this thing), 5:00pm has arrived.
The extra hour of daily work sucks your soul away, but you're an hourly contractor so it's financially pretty sweet. You clock out, put on your jacket, and reach into its pocket to check your phone. The flyer, still present, crinkles with hope.
<div class="img-centered"><img src="https://cattsmall.com/assets/images/games/2024/GGJ/4-consider.png"></div>
It's time to make a choice: will you enter the danger zone?
[[Go to the comedy show]]
[[Go to the train station]]Ahh why the hell not. Just because you're a native New Yorker doesn't mean you can't do something touristy every once in a while.
You say good night to your coworkers and escape your cubicle.
As you ride the escalator down to the lobby, you see the light from outside and feel excited. Maybe it's still sunny out!
[[Yay!]]After yet another 90-minute commute, you're inside your humble abode. It's eerily quiet—you're still not used to living alone—so you log into a voice chat server with your college friends. They've all moved out of the city, and you're the only one who's still making it work. It helps that you probably won't be having any kids.
Chatting with The Weirdos helps pass the time as you cook dinner, entertain yourself for a few hours, and get ready for bed. You're not excited that your days go by so quickly, but it's a living nonetheless.
It's getting late, and you're sleepy.
[[Go to bed ->Fail state]]You said you were gonna do it—you're gonna goddamn GO. That's what New Yorkers do.
Entering a narrow yet equally crowded street off the main strip, you find the entrance to ''Jerrick's Big Lulz Theater and VR House''. The name says a lot about how dead the internet truly is.
<div class="img-centered"><img src="https://cattsmall.com/assets/images/games/2024/GGJ/5-staircase.png"></div>
The entrance leads down some stairs. You wish you'd brought a friend, but they all moved out of the city and everyone you've met since has either been too basic, too extra, or too busy. Such are the challenges of living and working in a late-stage capitalist megacity.
But it's not too //late// to go home! Are you really going to go down the stairs?
[[Lulz, hell nah.->Go to the train station]]
[[Yup........]]<h2>Yup........</h2>
You descend the stairs and see a burly, tall man. You hand him your ID. He smirks at it. Probably laughing at you for being such a tourist.
He returns your ID and waves you in. The lobby is dark. You walk up to a person who will most likely take your money. She's sitting in front of some light-cancelling curtains, on a stool at a wobbly little bar table with a tablet—you've seen this setup a million times.
<div class="img-centered"><img src="https://cattsmall.com/assets/images/games/2024/GGJ/6-entrance.png"></div>
Sylis sent me, you say.
"$15. Cash or credit?"
[[Nevermind]]
[[Pay the cover charge]]On the other side of the curtains, you see a small bar (probably sticky) a center stage (where assumedly sad people will embarrass themselves for your pleasure) and various tables and chairs for all those whom like to suffer.
There are only a handful of people so far—the show starts at 7—so you have lots of seating options. You claim an empty table all the way in the back; it's less likely the standup will be about you that way. There's a menu on the table, so you give it a look. They've got food, and you're hungry.
[[Order dinner]]It looks like you have to go to the bar to order food. You put a jacket on your seat so no one will steal your prized location, pick up the menu, and walk over to the bar. You make eye contact with the bartender-waiter-cashier.
<div class="img-centered"><img src="https://cattsmall.com/assets/images/games/2024/GGJ/7-bar.png"></div>
"What'll you have?"
[[Pizza and a beer]]
[[French fries and tap water]]
[[Caesar salad and a hard seltzer]]<h2>Pizza and a beer.</h2>
<div class="img-centered"><img src="https://cattsmall.com/assets/images/games/2024/GGJ/8-normal.png"></div>
He nods and enters your order into a bright tablet. After taking your money, he gives you a number to take back to your seat.
You sit down and place the number in a prominent position. As you wait, you observe your surroundings: dim lighting, ancient ceiling, slightly sticky floor, terrible paint job, crumbling stage with a cheap mic. It's a dive bar cosplaying a concert hall.
After some texting and doomscrolling, your food appears and the number returns to its rightful place. You look around—the room is now packed. How long were you consuming world news, exactly?
You fold your pizza and take a bite. It's pretty good, as most pizza in New York naturally is. You close your eyes for a moment and take pride in your city.
As you finish your pizza and take sips of your beer, people you don't know—probably tourists—take the remaining spots at your table. You peek at your phone and see that it's 7pm.
The lights dim.
[[Welcome to hell.]]<h2>French fries and tap water.</h2>
<div class="img-centered"><img src="https://cattsmall.com/assets/images/games/2024/GGJ/8-disgusted.png"></div>
He looks at you with confusion and mumbles something about cheap people. You're being fiscally responsible by not ordering a drink—something he clearly doesn't understand. After taking your money, he gives you a number to take back to your seat.
You sit down and place the number in a prominent position. As you wait, you observe your surroundings: dim lighting, ancient ceiling, slightly sticky floor, terrible paint job, crumbling stage with a cheap mic. It's a dive bar cosplaying a concert hall.
After some texting and doomscrolling, your food appears and the number returns to its rightful place. You look around—the room is now packed. How long were you consuming world news, exactly?
You grab a couple fries and dip them into the ketchup they kindly provided. Under-seasoned. Way too crunchy. These are definitely not fresh, but what else would you expect from this shithole?
As you tolerate your fries and take sips of your New York City tap water (the best in the country), people you don't know—probably tourists—take the remaining spots at your table. You peek at your phone and see that it's 7pm.
The lights dim.
[[Welcome to hell.]]<h2>Caesar salad and a hard seltzer.</h2>
<div class="img-centered"><img src="https://cattsmall.com/assets/images/games/2024/GGJ/8-annoyed.png"></div>
He looks at you with annoyance and mumbles something about transplants. The salad is affordable and filling and the seltzer is cheap and boozy, but he doesn't know that. After taking your money, he gives you a number to take back to your seat.
You sit down and place the number in a prominent position. As you wait, you observe your surroundings: dim lighting, ancient ceiling, slightly sticky floor, terrible paint job, crumbling stage with a cheap mic. It's a dive bar cosplaying a concert hall.
After some texting and doomscrolling, your food appears and the number returns to its rightful place. You look around—the room is now packed. How long were you consuming world news, exactly?
You dig into your salad. Overcooked chicken. Nutritionally-absent lettuce. Wet tomatoes. Five dollar store dressing. It's //technically// a meal.
As you tolerate your salad and take sips of your fruity hard seltzer, people you don't know—probably tourists—take the remaining spots at your table. You peek at your phone and see that it's 7pm.
The lights dim.
[[Welcome to hell.]]Loud, funky intro music from the 90's plays over a shitty sound system. A scrappy-looking guy (it's always a guy) in a plaid shirt (it's always plaid) runs out. You have no idea how old he is, but he's probably too old to be doing this. The music stops.
<div class="img-centered"><img src="https://cattsmall.com/assets/images/games/2024/GGJ/9-host.png"></div>
<h3>"HEY GUYS WELCOME TO ''JERRICK'S BIG LULZ THEATER AND VR HOUSE'' HOW'S EVERYBODY DOING TONIGHT?!"</h3>
The tourists yell and clap affirmatively. You, invisible from the stage, make a squeamish questionable groan-whine.
<h3>"THANK YOU THANK YOU."</h3>
The man turns to look past the stage.
<h3>"AND THANKS TO EVERYONE TUNING IN OVER VR."</h3>
[[Huh??]]<h3>"ALRIGHT. SO HOW IT WORKS IS YOU LAUGH AND CLAP IF YOU'RE HAVING A GOOD TIME. IF YOU HATE SOMEONE, YOU BOO. IF EVERYONE BOOS, ''JERRICK'' WILL.... WELL WHY DON'T YA SHOW 'EM, ''JERRICK''?!"</h3>
<div class="img-centered"><img src="https://cattsmall.com/assets/images/games/2024/GGJ/9-mascot.png"></div>
Frantic jazz begins to play—the kind where the piano, drums, bass, and trumpet seem to be in a wrestling match. A person with a giant human mascot head—is that the owner?—dances out with a cane. After turning away from the crowd and shaking their butt several times, they do the running man. The person lunges toward the host. The host smiles unconvincingly as the cane yanks him offstage. The stage is empty, and the music stops.
[[Regret.->Show begins]]<h2 class="wavy-text">(text-style: "shudder")[BOOOOOOOOOOO.]</h2>
Other people join in. The current grows louder, and Josslyn stops talking.
<div class="img-centered"><img src="https://cattsmall.com/assets/images/games/2024/GGJ/9-mascot.png"></div>
The frantic jazz blasts again, and the mascot person dive rolls out onto the stage. Someone throws the cane at him, and they catch it. Backing that ass up into Josslyn, the mascot person grabs her shirt by the collar and then runs off stage.
You feel powerful, but also kind of sad for starting a storm.
Over the system, a deep voice says:
<h3>"AND NOW FOR YOUR SECOND COMIC. PLEASE WELCOME JORJ GREIGHSON TO THE STAGE!"</h3>
Intro music plays, and the tourists once again applaud.
<div class="img-centered"><img src="https://cattsmall.com/assets/images/games/2024/GGJ/11-comic.png"></div>
Jorj seems to have picked up his comedic style from the worst Gen X standup artists: lots of butt jokes, mispronouncing words ("sanguich", what the fuck), and being sO rAnDoM. You start to miss Josslyn. She was at least tolerable.
[[BOO->Boo 2]]
[[Do nothing->Nothing 1]]After warming up the crowd, Josslyn starts to dive into some content that actually feels original. She tells a joke about family dynamics that actually makes you feel seen. You love the idea of family, but being around them makes you want to join a monastery. You vacillate between wanting to meet all of your many cousins and not wanting to know any blood relatives.
Josslyn wraps up her set with a touching message. The entire room claps. Maybe there is something to this comedy thing after all. Her intro music plays as she walks off stage.
The music quiets. Over the system, a deep voice says:
<h3>"AND NOW FOR YOUR SECOND COMIC. PLEASE WELCOME JORJ GREIGHSON TO THE STAGE!"</h3>
Intro music plays, and the room applauds once again. Jorj walks out, ferile and ready to conquer the world. You can tell immediately that he's a shitty person.
<div class="img-centered"><img src="https://cattsmall.com/assets/images/games/2024/GGJ/11-comic.png"></div>
Jorj seems to have picked up his comedic style from the worst Gen X standup artists: lots of butt jokes, mispronouncing words ("sanguich", what the fuck), and being sO rAnDoM. You wonder how a place could hire this fucking turd and someone like Josslyn.
[[BOO->Boo 2]]
[[Do nothing->Nothing 2]]<h2 class="wavy-text">(text-style: "shudder")[BOOOOOOOOOOO.]</h2>
This guy sucks balls, and not in the good way. The jeering is overwhelming, but Jorj tries to keep going. The frantic jazz deals the final blow—he finally closes his mouth.
<div class="img-centered"><img src="https://cattsmall.com/assets/images/games/2024/GGJ/9-mascot.png"></div>
The mascot person runs out and does a stupid dance you've all seen on the internet. Then they act as though they're playing a game of pool, but with their cane and Jorj's butt. As he's escorted off stage, Jorj looks as though he's questioning his life choices.
The incessant jazz stops. You feel relieved to no longer be subjected to Gen X humor.
Over the system, a deep voice says:
<h3>"AND NOW FOR YOUR THIRD FINAL COMIC... PLEASE WELCOME DARRA LEUNG TO THE STAGE!"</h3>
The tourists tentatively applaud. No one knows what to expect any more. Darra's intro music is hopeful.
<div class="img-centered"><img src="https://cattsmall.com/assets/images/games/2024/GGJ/12-comic.png"></div>
Darra is actually pretty creative. She tells jokes that are somewhat intellectual, but also incredibly personable. You respect the amount of work she put into crafting interesting stories that are also funny. It's so good that it kinda makes you jealous.
[[BOO->Boo 3]]
[[Do nothing->Nothing 3]]You don't have the guts to start booing. Jorj then dives into your worst nightmare: audience jokes.
After disconnecting the mic from its stand, Jorj departs the stage and walks around the audience. The lights come back on so he can see everyone.
Uh oh, he's looking at you. And now he's telling a joke about how "you definitely don't look like a tourist", and "what kind of New Yorker comes to these shows", and "do you need a wellness check or something". You smile and look away like you'd ignore a creeper on the subway. The crowd actually kind of liked that joke; you're glad you could help him redeem himself.
The emboldened comedian walks back to the stage and the lights dim again. Feeling like its time to unleash his true form, starts to tell a joke that you recognize to be a racist dog whistle. One tourist starts to jeer. Everyone else chimes in.
[[BOO->Boo 2]] <h2 class="wavy-text">(transition:"shudder") + (transition-time: .5s)[BOOOOOOOOOOO.]</h2>
No one else joins in, and a couple people look at you with confusion. Darra cleverly relates your lone jeer to one of her favorite childhood cereals and ends the joke with an absolute zinger. You are ashamed.
After several more great hooks, Darra thanks the crowd and walks offstage as the tourists give her a standing ovation. It was honestly a great set, and now you've got to think about why you did that.
The host comes back out.
<h3>"HOW WAS THAT EVERYBODY?! YEAH!!! WELL THAT'S WHAT WE GOT FOR YA TONIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY: YOU DON'T GOTTA STAY HERE BUT YA GOTTA STAY HYDRATED!"</h3>
He looks at the 3D camera again.
<h3>"REMEMBER TO LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, FOLLOW, RECOMMEND, AND TIP US IF YOU HAD A GOOD TIME!"</h3>
The feed switches off. He turns back to you and the live crowd, looking more solemn than before.
<div class="img-centered"><img src="https://cattsmall.com/assets/images/games/2024/GGJ/9-host-tired.png"></div>
"Whew. Sorry about that everyone. Ok folks, get home safe."
The lights turn on and everyone prepares to leave. That was certainly an interesting night. You go upstairs and head for the train.
[[Go home->Go home - End (bad)]] After several more great hooks, Darra thanks the crowd and walks offstage as the tourists give her a standing ovation. It was truly a great set, and you're grateful you decided to be vulnerable today.
The host comes back out as the crowd loosens their applause.
<h3>"HOW WAS THAT EVERYBODY?! YEAH!!! WELL THAT'S WHAT WE GOT FOR YA TONIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY: YOU DON'T GOTTA STAY HERE BUT YA GOTTA STAY HYDRATED!"</h3>
He looks at the 3D camera again.
<h3>"REMEMBER TO LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, FOLLOW, RECOMMEND, AND TIP US IF YOU HAD A GOOD TIME!"</h3>
The feed switches off. He turns back to you and the live crowd, looking more solemn than before.
<div class="img-centered"><img src="https://cattsmall.com/assets/images/games/2024/GGJ/9-host-tired.png"></div>
"Whew. Sorry about that everyone. Ok folks, get home safe."
The lights turn on and everyone prepares to leave. That was certainly an interesting night. You go upstairs and head for the train.
[[Go home->Go home - End (good)]] Yeah duh obviously you're going home. The job must be getting to you if you'd even consider attending a fucking ''touristy'' //comedy show//.
[[You hop on the train and head home.->Go home]]Your 90-minute commute is the same as always, but it feels a little different tonight. Seeing the city through the eyes of a tourist has changed something inside you. When you walk into your humble abode, you feel small yet big at the same time. You're alone but also one of millions.
You log into a voice chat server with your college friends. They've all moved out of the city, and you miss them dearly. You tell them about your wild evening, and they gently rib you for being a tourist. You bought a convertible couch to host guests, and you remind them that they'll be tourists if they come to visit.
Chatting with The Weirdos as you get ready for bed makes you nostalgic but also grateful to still be able to afford living in the place where you were born. It's not always pretty, but there are so many //things// happening. So many lives.
Most of your days in the past few years haven't felt very unique, but you now know you can change that.
It's getting late, and you're sleepy.
[[Go to bed ->Win state]]<h1>The end</h1>
Thanks for playing this little game! I hope you enjoyed it.
[[Play again->Start screen]]<h1>A Tourist in Your Own City</h1>
''By Catt Small''
[[Start the game->Intro]]Your 90-minute commute is the same as always, but it feels a little different tonight. Maybe the city is getting to you. You're so cynical now.
Soon enough, you're inside your humble abode. It's eerily quiet—you're still not used to living alone—so you log into a voice chat server with your college friends. They've all moved out of the city, and you're the only one who's still making it work.
You tell them about your wild evening, and how you jeered a good comedian. They rib you for being a crusty old New Yorker. When's the last time you've been as vulnerable as she was?
Most of your days in the past few years haven't felt very unique. This one's come with a shift in perspective. It might be time for you to leave the city.
Sleep begins to overtake you, but you've decided tomorrow will be full of planning.
[[Go to bed ->Lose state]]<h1>The end</h1>
Thanks for playing this little game! I hope you enjoyed it.
[[Play again->Start screen]]Over the system, a deep voice says:
<h3>"AND NOW FOR YOUR FIRST COMIC. PLEASE WELCOME JOSSLYN KENNEDEIGH TO THE STAGE!"</h3>
Tourist clapping. More intro music, probably of the comedian's choice.
<div class="img-centered"><img src="https://cattsmall.com/assets/images/games/2024/GGJ/10-comic.png"></div>
Josslyn follows standard standup tropes predictably: some jokes about gender, some raunchy humor, some depression content. It's ok, but not great.
[[Boo->Boo 1]]
[[Do nothing->Nothing 1]]<div class="img-centered"><img src="https://cattsmall.com/assets/images/games/2024/GGJ/5-outside.png"></div>
The many screens surrounding your office have played a trick on you: it's getting darker by the minute.
You sigh with depleted exhaustion.
Are you //really// going to go to a comedy show?
[[Nah not really.->Go to the train station]]
[[Hell yeah, you're gonna fuckin COMMIT.]]Nope nope nope not doing it. You apologize and run back upstairs. The job must really be getting to you—you almost attended a fucking ''touristy'' //comedy show//.
[[You hop on the train and head home.->Go home]]You lift your phone. She places a little white rectangle against it; it lights up and makes an excited noise. There goes 30 minutes of your work day.
"Thanks, go ahead."
There's no turning back now.
[[Walk through the curtains]]<div class="img-centered"><img src="https://cattsmall.com/assets/images/games/2024/GGJ/9-host-wave.png"></div>
You look where he's looking and see a 3D camera bolted to the ceiling. Ah, hell: you're in the dumbass metaverse.
<h3>"MAKE SURE TO WATCH ALL THE ADS TO SUPPORT US, AND FOLLOW US ON ALL OUR SOCIALS."</h3>
He turns back to the crowd.
<h3>"TONIGHT WE'RE GONNA HAVE THREE AMAZING TALENTED COMICS UP HERE TONIGHT. YOU READY TO LAUGH YOUR ASSES OFF AND SMACK YOUR MOM?!"</h3>
The tourists react predictably. Someone fake slaps the person next to them—probably their mom—and gets fake-slapped back. You pray for sudden illness, but are unfortunately completely healthy.
[[You have to witness all of this.]]